Melody of the Heart

by Katie Ashley

  “Bray, man, it’s—

  ”We are so not having this conversation with you!” I shouted at Jake. When Rhys poked his head out of the roost, I jabbed my finger at him. “Or you!” Taking Lily by the hand, I dragged her down the hall to the bedroom. After I slammed the door, I began pacing around the room.

  Lily was pregnant. My twenty-two-year-old wife of seven months was pregnant. I was going to be a father. “Jesus,” I muttered, raking my hand through my hair.

  At a whimper behind me, I turned around. Lily had sat down on the bed and drawn her knees up to her chest. She looked positively grief-stricken. She glanced warily up at me like she expected me at any moment to go utterly batshit on her.

  And in that moment, I felt like the biggest asshole imaginable. I mean, what the hell was I doing making my pregnant wife feel like shit? It wasn’t like we were back in high school. We had the means to have and take care of this baby. Sure, things with the band were crazy and chaotic, but rock stars had kids all the time. Besides, there was nothing more that Lily and I had ever wanted than to be parents one day. I guess it had come sooner rather than later.

  Striding over to the bed, I knelt down in front of Lily. “Baby, I’m so fucking sorry for reacting the way that I did. I was just so surprised.”

  Her brows shot up. “You’re not mad?”

  Shaking my head, I replied, “How could I ever be mad about one of my dreams coming true?”

  “Oh Brayden,” Lily cried, before throwing her arms around my neck. I cradled her trembling body in my arms as she shed what I hoped were tears of happiness. When she pulled away, she smiled at me. “Thank you.”

  “For being an asshole who made you cry?”

  “No. Thank you for loving me no matter what.”

  I brushed the hair out of her face and then stroked her tear-soaked cheeks. “I’ll always fight for you, Lily. I’ll always fight for us. Now there’s just going to be more of us to fight for.”

  Lily hiccupped a laugh. “It’s still so hard to believe.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me last night?”

  “We hadn’t been together in so long that I didn’t want to ruin it.”

  “What kind of asshole am I that would make you think a baby would ruin things?”

  Her hand came up to cup my cheek. “It’s not that. I’ve been upset myself. We’ve only been married seven months. You’re touring all the time and hardly home. Not to mention, that I just got my first teaching job, and now I’m pregnant. It was like I worked so hard for what?”

  “For a college degree that you’ll have all your life.”

  “That’s true.”

  “Besides, you know I hate that you’re teaching instead of coming out on tour with me.”

  “Once again, you have your dream, and I have mine,” she countered, softly.

  Turning her hands up, I kissed her opened palms. “I know, baby. But there’s one dream that we share, and that’s each other. Nothing can take the place of that.”

  “I love you,” she murmured.

  “I love you, too.” I leaned in to place a tender kiss on her lips. When I pulled away, I smiled at her. I reached for the tie of her robe. Her brows lined with confusion when I pushed it open. Bending down, I bestowed a kiss on her abdomen. “And I love you, too,” I said to her stomach.

  Lily sucked in a breath before her fingers tangled in my hair, and she jerked my head up. “I want you to know you’ve made me the happiest woman in the world.”

  “Ditto,” I murmured, bringing my lips to hers.

  Just as I pushed her back onto the mattress, a loud bang came at our door. “Everything okay in there?” Jake asked.

  I groaned. “It was until your nosy ass came knocking!” I shouted.

  “I just wanted to make sure Lily was okay.”

  “Just when I think Jake is a selfish and unfeeling asshole, he goes and redeems himself yet again,” Lily said, amusement vibrating in her voice.

  “She’s fine,” I called back.

  “Uh, yeah, I’d rather hear her say that herself. You know, so I know there’s no coercion.”

  Lily giggled. “I promise that I’m fine, Jake. Now will you please go away, so Brayden can fuck me?”

  As my mouth dropped open in shock at her words, Jake’s laughter bellowed outside the door. “You got it,” he replied.

  Amusement shone in Lily’s eyes as she cupped my cheeks in her hands. “I wish you could see your expression right now.”

  “I’m sorry, but that’s the last thing I expected out of your mouth.”

  “I’d say we’re 0-2 on unexpected things said out of my mouth this morning, huh?”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Now come on and make love to your pregnant wife.”

  “Yes, Mrs. Vanderburg. I’ll be happy to oblige you,” I said before bringing my lips to hers.

  ***

  The bus roared down the darkened interstate, taking us from Mississippi into Alabama. Lily lounged on the couch with a pint of chocolate chip ice cream on her lap. Occasionally, Rhys would reach over to dunk his spoon in for a bite. Each time he did, Lily used her spoon like a sword to fight him off. Rhys merely grinned at her antics.

  Sitting across from them in one of the captain’s chairs, I had a notepad beside me and my guitar on my lap. Jake also had his guitar out.

  Lily huffed out a frustrated breath. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Rhys McGowan. Stealing ice cream from a poor, pitiful woman who’s forty months pregnant.”

  “Nice try, Lils. You’re only eight-and-a-half months pregnant,” he argued, before grabbing another bite.

  Lily groaned. “It feels like I’ve been pregnant forever. I’m so ready for this baby to be born.” Glancing down at her belly, she said, “Did you hear that Michael? You can come out now.”

  “Michael?” AJ questioned, from the kitchen area. “Is that what you guys decided to name him?”

  I laughed. “No, that’s just the one we’re trying this week. Seeing how we like it since it’s my middle name.”

  Cocking her head, Lily said, “Paul Michael Vanderburg sounds very prestigious, don’t you think?”

  AJ made a face. “Isn’t there a hair products dude name Paul Michaels?”

  Jake and Rhys snickered as Lily shot Jake a look. “Fine then. Michael Paul. Is that better?”

  “A little.”

  We were on the last leg of a Southern tour that had kicked off in Atlanta and then did a sweep through the Carolinas, Tennessee, Arkansas, Louisiana, and as of last night, Mississippi. After shows in Alabama, we would head home. Because there was no flying involved and she could put her feet up, Lily’s doctor had approved her to come along. I didn’t like the idea of leaving her behind in her third trimester anyway.

  “What do you think about this?” Jake asked, as he strummed a catchy beat.

  My brows furrowed. “It sounds familiar.”

  “How the hell would it sound familiar if it just came out of my head?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. It just does.”

  “Fine, smart ass. What does it sound like?”

  Racking my brain, I then started to strum the melody that was in my mind. Jake snorted. “I so did not just play something that sounded like Hey Jude.”

  “Yeah, you did.” The Beatles fan in me kept playing the song not only because I liked it, but because I wanted to aggravate Jake.

  When Lily sucked in a harsh breath, I stopped playing. “What’s wrong, babe?”

  “Nothing is wrong. You wouldn’t believe how strong Michael started kicking then.”

  “Ooh, I wanna feel,” AJ said, as he abandoned the arroz con pollo he had been making for us.

  She frowned. “He stopped.”

  “Bummer,” AJ muttered.

  Absently, I started strumming Hey Jude again. Lily started laughing. “He must like the song because he just started kicking again.”

  My brows shot up. “Seriously?” Wanting to prove the theor
y, I stopped playing. “Is he still kicking?”

  Lily grinned. “No, he stopped again.”

  With a groan, Jake said, “Jesus, you’ve already bred another Beatles freak.”

  AJ motioned to my guitar. “Start it up again, so I can feel him.”

  Once again, I began playing the opening to Hey Jude. This time, I started singing along to. Taking AJ’s hand, Lily placed it on her stomach. “Feel him?”

  AJ’s eyes widened. “That’s so fucking cool!” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “Forget a future musician like his pops. I think we have a soccer star on our hands.”

  “Oh, he knows how to kick. I’ll give him that,” Lily replied.

  Although he tried looking disinterested by it all, Jake asked, “Is he still doing it?”

  Lily nodded. “You want to feel?”

  Shrugging his shoulders, Jake said, “I guess so.” He sat his guitar down and stood up. Leaning over, he put his hand where AJ’s had been. A small smile twitched on his lips. “He is strong.”

  When I stopped playing so I could feel my son kick, Lily dissolved into giggles. “He’s stopped again.”

  Crossing his arms over his chest, Jake smirked at me. “Guess you’ve got the answer to what to name the kid.”

  “Jude,” Lily and I said in unison.

  “Yep, Jude Paul Vanderburg,” Jake replied.

  And for the remaining two weeks of her pregnancy, whenever we would play Hey Jude, our own little Jude would give us a kick or two to let us know he was happy with his name.

  LILY

  THE PRESENT

  “You were on the road right up until you delivered?” Giovanni asked.

  I laughed. “Well, not exactly. We were almost home then. So I had about three weeks before Jude was born.”

  Giovanni glanced between me and Brayden. “Were you alone for the delivery or was Brayden there?”

  With a smile, Brayden said, “Thankfully, we were between tours at the time. Plus, it was right after Christmas, so that’s usually a slow season for us.”

  “And what was it like having your first baby?” Giovanni asked me.

  I couldn’t fight the smile that lit up my face at the memory of having Jude. “It must be something about his sweet temperament because he was the easiest delivery of the three.”

  “I think it has something to do with women being difficult,” Brayden countered.

  “Ha, ha,” I replied.

  “What do you remember exactly?” Giovanni questioned.

  Easing back on the couch, I happy sigh escaped my lips. “I remember everything really. How I woke up that morning to find my water had broken.”

  “I thought she had just peed the bed,” Brayden mused.

  I smacked his arm. “Anyway, we bundled up and went to Northside Hospital, which coincidentally was the same hospital where Brayden was born. I don’t think we were there more than an hour when it was time to push.”

  Brayden laughed. “Jude was ready to make his appearance that’s for sure. With the girls, I think we were there ten or twelve hours before they decided it was time to come out.”

  “That’s true. The girls were a bit more finicky about being born.”

  “Who all was in the delivery room with you?”

  “My mom wanted to be there, so we let her stay in. She was good to stay in the back and let it be about me and Brayden.”

  “There was probably more than one time that she had to hold my hand to keep me from freaking out,” Brayden admitted.

  I laughed. “That’s true. I’ll never forget how pale he was.”

  Brayden shuddered. “It was seriously scary that first time around. We were both just kids at twenty three. We didn’t have a clue really.”

  “But we made it somehow,” I argued.

  “Yeah, we did.” Brayden shook his head. “I’ll never forget how one moment it was just his little blond head there, and then the next he was out and wailing. Seeing him take his first breath, well seeing all my kids take their first breaths, is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me, besides marrying Lily.”

  Overcome by his words, I couldn’t resist bringing my lips to his. Whenever I heard Brayden talk about his children, it made me love him all the more. When I pulled away, I smiled at him. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, babe.”

  When we glanced over at Giovanni, he was smiling at us. “Quite a moment there, eh?”

  Swiping the tears from my eyes, I replied, “Talking about our children always does that to me.”

  “So what was it like when the guys met Jude?” Giovanni asked.

  I laughed. “That is a very interesting story.”

  LILY

  THE PAST

  After the multitude of mine and Brayden’s families left the room, I sighed and let my head fall back on the pillow. Exhaustion, like I had never known before in my life, took over my body. It felt like someone had stuck me with a needle and depleted all the energy I had. With a yawn, I glanced over at Brayden. I couldn’t help smiling at him as he stood stock-still, watching over a sleeping Jude. “I don’t think he’s going anywhere,” I said, my voice a little hoarse from my previous exertions.

  Brayden’s hands gently gripped the bassinet. “I know. I just can’t stop looking at him.” He glanced up at me with tears shining in his eyes. “He’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen. To think that I had even a small part in creating him—” a sob choked off in his throat. He shook his head as he swiped the tears from his cheeks. “I’m such a pansy,” he muttered.

  “No, you’re a proud father. And I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than right at this moment—the one where you wept over your son.”

  Leaving Jude’s side, Brayden came to me. He bent down and bestowed a chaste kiss on my lips. “Thank you for today.”

  “I could say the same thing to you.”

  Brayden glanced over his shoulder at Jude. “I was serious about wanting a houseful…or bus full.”

  “I think it’s a good idea not to mention another baby to me right after delivering one.”

  Brayden laughed. “You’re right.”

  When a knock came at the door, I glanced warily over at Brayden. “Just rest, babe. I’ll tell whoever it is you’re too tired for visitors now.”

  “But wouldn’t that be rude?”

  He cocked his brows at me. “Do I look like I give a fuck about what other people think?”

  I grinned at him. “No, you look like a man who just won the lottery.”

  When Brayden opened the door, he didn’t get a chance to deliver his spiel and turn the well-wishers away. Instead, Jake, AJ, and Rhys blew past him, their arms laden down with flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals. Without even a hello, Jake demanded, “Well, where is he?”

  “Sleeping, jackass,” Brayden replied.

  “Then wake him up. His uncles are here to see him.”

  I couldn’t help laughing at Jake. Of course, he would have no concept about babies or schedules. All he thought about was himself, so it made perfect sense that we should cater to him.

  “You’re such a dumbass,” AJ replied, smacking Jake upside the head. He then came over to me. With a wink, he asked, “Hey hot mama, how ya feeling?”

  As I pushed myself up in bed, I laughed. “Like I’ve been run over by an eighteen wheeler.”

  “Aw, mi amor, you just popped out a kid. I wouldn’t expect any less than you feeling like absolute hell. You look a lot better than my sister after my nephew was born.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek tenderly.

  “Thank you, AJ.”

  With a wink, he replied, “Anytime.”

  After Jake sat his balloons and flowers down on the counter, he rubbed his hands together. “Okay, as lead singer, I think it’s only fair that I get to hold him first.”

  “That’s total BS,” AJ protested, edging in front of Jake.

  “Wait your turn,” Jake replied.

  Brayden glanced at me to survey whether I was
onboard with passing our newborn son around. I smiled and nodded. He then went over to the bassinet and ever so gently picked up Jude. As he cradled his son to his chest, a look of pride overcame his face and melted my heart.

  He then motioned to Jake. Closing the gap between them, Jake held out his eager arms. He then gazed down at Jude, the corners of his lips quirking up. “Well, he’s a handsome little fucker, isn’t he?”

  I gasped in horror while Brayden only chuckled. I guess a part of me shouldn’t have expected anything different from Jake and his notoriously bad foul mouth. Before it hadn’t mattered as much, but now I had to resign myself to the fact that my son was going to be surrounded by foul mouthed rockers who weren’t always going to be a good influence on him. But at the same time, I knew that Jude was lucky to have the three men who were encircling him like adoptive fathers. They would always be there to love and protect him in their own fumbling ways.

  “Damn, it’s a good thing he looks like you, Lily, and not his pops,” Jake mused.

  “Dickhead,” Brayden mumbled.

  Jake glanced from Jude over to me and then winked. “Bet you’re surprised I didn’t drop him, aren’t you?”

  A nervous giggle escaped my lips. “Maybe a little.”

  “You know, I’m not a total dumbass when it comes to babies. I had some practice when Allison was a baby back in the day.”

  Cocking my head at him, I smiled. “You do look very natural with him.”

  His eyes widened. “Oh hell no. Don’t even think it.”

  “One day, Jake Slater. One day you’re going to be holding your own baby in your arms.”

  He shook his head. “Not possible. I always wrap my shit up with my own condoms. Not with one some chick brought that she could have voodoo dolled.”

  Wrinkling my nose, I countered, “No, not with some random hookup. I meant with a wife.”

  AJ snorted. “Jake married? Let’s wait for hell to freeze over first.”

  “Believe me, it’s going to happen. I don’t know when or with who, but it will.”

  “Whatever,” Jake mumbled. Our conversation seemed to dampen Jude’s allure because he was suddenly ready to pass him over AJ’s eager and waiting arms.