The Flawed Heart Series

by Wade, Ellie

  Paige nods. “That’s a good idea.”

  “Yeah,” I agree.

  Paige flips through the color swatches. “I think I’m going to go with glittery pink. I’m in the mood for glitter.” She brings her eyes up to meet mine. “How’s Georgia? I haven’t heard from her in a while.”

  “She’s good. She’s actually in Madagascar, working with some world-renowned lemur expert.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.” I grin. “She’s trying to save this species of lemur that’s almost extinct. She and this scientist are trying to get the remaining few to mate.”

  “So, she’s like a lemur love expert?”

  “She’s trying to be.”

  “Gosh, what an overachiever,” Paige jokes. “Here I am, making ads to sell coffee, and she’s over there, saving an entire species.”

  “I hear ya. Last week, I wrote about a local surfing competition, the latest Botox remedies, an NFL player’s cheating scandal, and the rising occurrence of gang-related drive-by shootings in LA. Not really saving the world.”

  “Well, we all can’t save the world, or there would be no one left to do the other stuff. We each have our strengths.”

  “True.”

  “How are your parents?”

  “Good. Dad’s as busy as ever, and Mom’s in Mexico, taking a three-week course to become an acroyoga instructor.”

  “No way! That’s awesome.”

  “I know. It’s so crazy.”

  “Well, she’s happy, she’s healthy, and I’m sure your dad loves that she’s extra bendy.” Paige presses her lips together in a smirk.

  “Ew, Paige. No, don’t go there.”

  She laughs.

  It’s silent for a moment before Paige says, “I still can’t believe all of this. You and Loïc are back together. You’re back in Michigan. We had a barbeque yesterday at Cooper, Maggie, and Loïc’s house. Sarah and Loïc are living together, and you’re cool about that. It’s all so surreal.” There’s a hint of awe in her voice.

  “I know. It’s a lot to take in. I can hardly believe it myself. It’s been a whirlwind of a week.” I sport a giant smile, thinking about it.

  “And you feel good about it? No more heartbreaks on the horizon?” Paige inquires hesitantly.

  My body freezes, and I hold back a giggle as the pedicurist rubs a rough stone against the bottom of my foot. “Yeah, I feel great. It’s the real deal this time,” I answer Paige through clenched teeth.

  She chuckles at my discomfort.

  I let out a deep breath of relief when the woman stops assaulting my foot and moves on to the polish portion.

  “Loïc tells me that he doesn’t believe in fate and all that, but I do,” I say to Paige. “It’s confusing though because I don’t know why Cooper was destined to die, you know? He shouldn’t have died. And Loïc’s parents and the way he was treated as a child—none of that was meant to be. No way. I can’t believe that.” I shake my head in disgust from just thinking about Loïc as a sweet child, abused and alone. “So, for some things, I can’t justify that it was meant to be. Instead, it’s like one of life’s unexplainable things.

  “Yet, when it comes to Loïc and me, I truly think that the past year was meant to happen. Loïc and I were always great together, but we weren’t great on our own. He had issues. I had completely different issues. We’re not perfect now, by any means, but we’ve each grown so much over the past year. We’ve worked on ourselves and become whole and happy apart, which will make our relationship together even stronger.”

  “I can see that,” Paige says.

  “In my heart, I’ve always known that Loïc is the one for me, and it took so long to wrap my mind around the fact that we weren’t together. But, if the last week is any indication, we’re going to be reaping the rewards from our time apart for the rest of our lives.”

  There’s nothing better than two whole and happy people being together, creating an epic love story. It’s one of life’s greatest gifts. I’m so grateful that I learned the lessons I was meant to along the way so that I now have the capacity to embrace it all.

  “I’m so happy for you, London,” my best friend says in earnest, a warm smile on her face.

  I reach my hand over to her chair and gently squeeze her hand, letting her know how much I love her.

  “Well, I’ve got nothing left to teach you,” she jokes. “As they say, The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”

  “You know what else they say?” I ask with a grin. “The grass is greener where you water it, my friend.”

  “This is just getting too deep now.” In a dramatic fashion, Paige throws her head back against the cushioned chair, causing me to laugh.

  “Maybe it’s time I start giving you advice. You can hand me your torch of wisdom, and I can help you. How’s your love life going?”

  “On a scale of one to ten, an eleven,” Paige answers with a huff.

  My eyes go wide. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me? Who’s the guy?”

  Paige squints her eyes toward me. “There’s no guy, London. Hence, the eleven.”

  I shake my head. “No, if there isn’t a guy, then it would be zero.”

  “No, one is the best, and ten is the worst. So, eleven is like whoa bad,” Paige says.

  I laugh. “You have it completely backward. Ten is a better score than one. Ten is perfect.”

  “You’re obviously confused,” Paige scoffs with a wave of her hand.

  “For someone so smart, sometimes, I wonder how you make it through the day.” I chuckle.

  “Hey, I resent that.” Paige pouts.

  “It was a compliment of sorts.”

  Paige shrugs. “Eh, all right. So, where do you want to go to dinner?”

  “Have I told you today how much I love you?” I grin.

  “No, but I know you do. Why wouldn’t you? I’m the best thing to happen to you since sliced bread.” She gives me a wink.

  “Yes!” I raise my hands in the air in victory. “Folks, we have a winner!”

  The two of us laugh hysterically as our pedicurists try to hide their smiles.

  I want to always remember this time in my life. I know life is often a struggle. But it’s the difficult stuff that makes the happy parts so sweet, like the cherry on top.

  London

  “I don’t think everyone is fortunate enough to find magical love, but I’m thanking my lucky stars that we were.”

  —London Wright

  I’ve just put the final coat of paint on the living room wall when Loïc walks in the door.

  “How was it?” I ask excitedly.

  Loïc pulls me in for a kiss.

  “It was great. They have a really nice VA here. It’s huge. I like the guys in the PTSD group.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful,” I say, relieved.

  I want so badly for Loïc to be happy out here in LA, and I know his involvement with the veterans at the VA is a big part of his happiness.

  “I told you it’d be fine.” He leans in, sweetly kissing me again.

  “I know. I just want everything to be perfect.”

  “It will be because we’re together.”

  So much has changed in the past month. Loïc moved out to LA to live with me. We moved out of Kate’s apartment and got our own place. Though his house back in Michigan is still technically his, he pretty much gave it to Sarah and Evan. I know Loïc misses Evan like crazy, but he will fly back one weekend a month to see him. He promises me that it’s a great arrangement, and I want to believe him because I want this to work.

  “What’s this for?” He touches the space between my eyebrows.

  “What?”

  “You’re all scrunchy here. What are you worrying about?”

  “I just want you to be happy,” I admit out loud.

  “I am, London. I promise.”

  “Okay.” I nod.

  “The room looks great,” he says as he scans my handiwork.

  “Yeah, it does, do
esn’t it?” I agree.

  I never thought I’d see the day when I enjoyed physical labor. Yet the awesome feeling I get from completing a project is pretty amazing.

  “We’re going to go shopping with Kate next weekend. You’ll be amazed at the incredible things she finds. She has a gift for it.”

  “Cool. How’s everything going with her new roommate?”

  “Really great. She really likes her.”

  Loïc is looking down at me, smiling.

  “What?”

  “I just love you,” he says.

  “I love you, too.” I wrap my arms around his middle and hug him tight. “You know, if you’re not happy here, we can move anywhere. I’ve built up a pretty great résumé. I’d be able to get a good job almost anywhere.”

  “London, will you stop? I’m so happy here. I’d be happy anywhere as long as I was with you. Okay? Remember, I can go anywhere, too. There are veterans all over this country. No matter where we went, I’d be able to find a VA nearby where I could help. If you eventually want to get a job somewhere else, then great. It’s kind of cool that we can go anywhere we want.”

  “That is pretty awesome,” I say against his chest.

  “It is.” He glances around the room at my paint job again. “You know, this whole independent, get-things-done side of you is incredibly sexy.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I gaze into his sea-blue eyes. “More so than my privileged, pay-someone-to-do-it-for-me side? Because that girl still exists.”

  “Oh, that side of you is really sexy, too.”

  “So, basically, no matter what I do, you’ll find me sexy?”

  “Yep.” He nods his head. “I love every single part of you, London Wright.”

  My heart is happy. “Me, too. I love every part of you,” I agree.

  “You know, we’ve never made love on a paint tarp before.” He quirks up an eyebrow.

  “No, we haven’t. Another first?”

  “Oh, I think so.” He places his hands on my cheeks and pulls me into a deep kiss.

  I adore the way he kisses me with a controlled love that’s on the precipice of abandon.

  Our kiss transforms from slow and worshipful to quick and beseeching, taking us to the point where not being together is excruciating.

  The connection I share with Loïc when we’re together intimately is something I can’t put into words. It’s pure euphoria. It’s everything and the only thing, all at once. It’s how I know we’re meant for one another. There could never be anything more right.

  Our clothes are tossed haphazardly around the room. Loïc’s fingers grasp mine as he holds my arms over my head. My back slides against the tarp-covered floor as Loïc moves inside me. His eyes never leave mine as we make love.

  “You sure you’re up to this?” I ask Loïc as we drop our surfboards in the sand near the water’s edge.

  “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry; the leg’s waterproof.”

  “I know. It’s just that I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” I say, worried.

  Loïc laughs. “I know what it’s like to be hurt, London. This is nothing. The waves are tiny today. It’s a great day for me to practice.”

  “How do you know you’ll be able to do it with your new leg?”

  “Surfing is ninety percent core-muscle strength. I’m good,” he says with an air of cockiness. He grabs my hand and runs it across his six-pack, evidence of his daily workouts.

  “Yes, you’re hot. Stop bragging.” I playfully roll my eyes.

  “We could have another first.”

  “What’s that?” I ask.

  “Sex in the ocean.” He presses his lips together, and man, how I want to lean in and kiss them.

  “Heck no,” I say. “We’ve done it in a lake. That’s going to have to do. I’m not sure all the salt in the ocean would feel pleasant.” I crinkle my face up in faux pain.

  “Okay.” He laughs. “Have you done this since your first time with me?”

  “A couple of times with Georgia,” I admit.

  Loïc’s face beams. “Really? That’s awesome.”

  “What?” I huff in mock annoyance. “I like outdoorsy stuff,” I say before throwing in the word, “sometimes.”

  “Says the girl who barely made it through a short kayaking trip on one of our first dates.”

  “Oh, I made it through just fine. Don’t exaggerate.” I stick out my tongue.

  Loïc grabs me and tackles me to the sand as I scream in a fit of giggles. After a minute, the lighthearted mood ends. Loïc’s arms hold me close to him, and he buries his face in my neck and breathes me in.

  “Loïc?”

  “Yeah?” he exhales against my skin.

  “You okay?”

  He raises his head and peers into my eyes. His eyes are so full of emotion. “Sometimes, I can’t believe we’re finally here. I’ve been so lost for so long. I never knew to dream of this happiness because I never knew such joy existed. You’re better than a dream come true, London.”

  My eyes well up with tears. “I know exactly what you mean. Thank you for finding me, Loïc.”

  He shakes his head. “It was you who found me, babe.”

  “You’re lucky I’m a persistent girl.”

  “That, I am.”

  “Are you ready for me to show you my surfing skills?” I ask.

  “Are you going to be able to get up on the board?” he teases.

  I scoff. “Am I going to be able to get up on the board?” I repeat his question. “Oh, please. Just watch me.”

  I jump up from the sand and grab my board. Blowing him a kiss, I run out into the water. Loïc follows right behind me.

  Loïc’s wrong though. It wasn’t just me who found him. If anything, we found each other. I thought I was happy before, but just like Loïc, I never knew such joy existed. I don’t think everyone is fortunate enough to find magical love, but I’m thanking my lucky stars that we were.

  London

  “The seconds right before my greatest dream comes true bring a moment of pause, so I can take it all in and be thankful.”

  —London Wright

  I finally find a parking space a few blocks down from our apartment. It’s a shitty end to a shitty day. Everyone at work seemed to take a dose of crazy before coming to work today. It was quite the madhouse. But, soon, all will be better because I’ll get to see Loïc.

  It’s funny because, the first year of my job, it was normal for me to get home at nine o’clock every night. I loved being at work. Yet, now that I have Loïc waiting for me at home, I find that I’m tons more efficient, finishing my articles in record time, so I can be home by dinner every night.

  Loïc always has a delicious meal prepared for me when I walk in the door. Thank goodness I’m dating someone who can cook. I’ve come to accept my limitations. Cooking will never be one of my strengths.

  I reach the front door of our apartment and find a large wicker basket with a pink ribbon tied around it. It’s completely empty. A laminated piece of stationery is attached to the handle.

  I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL WITH SOME FLAWS.

  I pick up the basket and open the door. Inside, I find a path of candles; there must be hundreds of them. The path is covered with an assortment of flower petals. Atop the candlelit path of petals, every foot or so, there are…

  Packages of gummies?

  I pick up the first bag of gummy bears. Attached to the package with a pink ribbon is a square piece of laminated stationery.

  FLAW #1: YOU HATE BEING CORRECTED AND LOVE BEING RIGHT. I LOVE THIS BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT YOU ARE STRONG AND SELF-CONFIDENT—TWO ASPECTS OF YOUR PERSONALITY THAT I FIND EXTREMELY SEXY.

  I run my finger across the words with a smile on my face. I place the bag of candy in the basket and pick up the next bag, which happens to be a package of sweet-and-sour gummy worms.

  FLAW #2: YOU’RE NOT THE MOST OUTDOORSY TYPE OF GIRL. I LOVE THIS FLAW BECAUSE I GET TO EXPERIENCE SO MANY FIRSTS WITH YOU. YOU DIDN’T THINK YOU
LOVED TO BE OUTSIDE, BUT I THINK YOU’VE BEEN FINDING THAT YOU DO.

  I put the bag in the basket. He’s right. He’s totally been turning me toward the dark side. I think I love it because Loïc does. Love does crazy things.

  I grab the next package of Swedish Fish.

  FLAW #3: YOU CAN BE WHINY. I LOVE THIS FLAW, AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY. I SHOULD HATE IT, BUT IT TURNS ME ON AND MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE. YOU’RE HOT, EVEN WHEN A SCREECHY SOUND COMES FROM YOU. GO FIGURE.

  I laugh, putting the candy in the basket, and I pick up the next one.

  FLAW #4: YOU CAN BE JEALOUS, BUT I LOVE THAT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

  I think of the way I handled myself with Sarah at the birthday party. I’d say I’ve come a long way with my jealousy.

  FLAW #5: YOU LOVE TO SHOP. I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL EVER LOVE THIS ONE, BUT I’LL GO WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

  I giggle. I’m a total pain when I shop. I don’t blame him. I put the gummy rings in the basket and pick up the next.

  FLAW #6: YOU LOVE SNOOTY PARTIES. I LOVE THIS FLAW BECAUSE YOU LOOK AMAZING WHEN YOU’RE ALL DRESSED UP, AND LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE CLOSET SEX.

  What a great night that was. I smile at the memory and place the package in the basket.

  FLAW #7: SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE NO TACT, AND YOU SAY EXACTLY WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND. I LOVE THIS BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.

  The bags of candy continue.

  FLAW #8: YOU WORRY WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT ME. I LOVE THAT YOU WORRY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU CARE. NO ONE HAS EVER MADE ME FEEL MORE LOVED THAN YOU.

  FLAW #9: YOU CAN BE NEEDY. YET I NEED YOU JUST AS MUCH, SO WE’RE ALL GOOD.

  FLAW #10: YOU CAN’T COOK. I LOVE THAT YOU SUCK IN THE KITCHEN BECAUSE IT’S SOMETHING THAT I CAN DO FOR YOU.

  FLAW #11: SOMETIMES, YOU ARE SCARED TO TRY NEW THINGS. MY FAVORITE PART OF OUR LIFE TOGETHER IS EXPERIENCING FIRSTS WITH YOU.

  FLAW #12: YOU’RE TOO BEAUTIFUL. THE OTHER WOMEN OF THE WORLD CAN’T COMPETE. OKAY, YOU GOT ME; IT’S NOT A FLAW. I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW HOW STUNNING I THINK YOU ARE, BOTH INSIDE AND OUT.

  FLAW #13: YOU CAN BE OVERLY EMOTIONAL. I LOVE THIS BECAUSE IT JUST MEANS THAT YOU’RE PASSIONATE. YOU HAVE CONVICTIONS, AND YOU SEE THEM THROUGH. YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD EVERY DAY.