The Affliction

by Wendy E. Marsh

  After what seemed like an hour of walking purposelessly down the path that could have run between the parted waters of the Red Sea, the supernatural forest hunkering down on us from both sides, I spotted a widening, an opening of the trees up ahead of me.

  Although I didn’t receive any vibes of particularly revealing intuition, I felt excited nonetheless. Any change at that point was positive. Just like plunging into deep waters, the claustrophobia inducing trees pressured me and I was thankful for the relief of the sight of a field, which had to mean something…an ending, an entrance…something.

  I had worked up visions of grandeur on the long trek, of what Headquarters must look like. Apparently, there was no lack of money and I would find the place to my liking if I was to believe Gabriel…and I did. The whole situation seemed not unlike a fairy tale to me, so I tried to imagine where such characters would reside.

  Perhaps, I thought, in a castle, although I doubted such an existence in Oil Creek State Park, so maybe it would resemble more of a quaint little cottage on the outside, which proved bigger on the inside than it appeared. Gabriel had said they weren’t magical but instead had knowledge of the earth. I had no idea what that meant, however, and it sounded like magic to me, so a building bigger on the inside than the outside seemed plausible to me at the time.

  Neither castle nor cottage was to be found in the grassy clearing, which was quite disappointingly empty. I had accelerated in my determination, wrapped up in my expectations, only to stop dead from a jog at the realization that nothing awaited me but a grassy plinth enveloped in more trees.

  But there was no time for the disappointment to set in, for as soon as I entered the clearing my intuition overtook me and I grabbed hold of it, was drawn towards the middle of the field. I stopped before I reached the center and looked around me. There was nothing there, just untamed grass surrounded by the same trees we had been walking in, and I started to think this was all a big joke on me

  “You’re being too skeptical,” Gabriel spoke from the darkness behind me, his deep voice penetrating the thick night air around me and sending goose bumps racing along my skin. I was already frustrated, but when he uttered this criticism, chagrin burned my face red and my intuition seized hold of me. The flames licked at the very soul inside of me as I sauntered on, and for some reason became weak. My limbs felt heavier than usual, but I kept moving. And then I heard it, the song…a woman’s voice in an enchanting unknown tongue called to me. My head spun like an owl’s as I searched for the source of that sweet melody.

  My brain and my intuitive senses worked overtime and I could not control my thoughts as they ricocheted spasmodically around my head. My judgment of space and distance was off kilter and I began having trouble even placing one foot in front of the other.

  The language, I realized, was that of nature itself personified, gaining my attention, pulling me towards something…but what? I desperately needed to find it, the voice of nature. My heart pounded so violently it threatened the safety of my ribcage and the pressure of my gifts searing through me tortured me.

  I stopped breathing in an attempt to listen to her voice better, to hear the voice inside of me better. It was my only escape when I realized I could not just clear my mind in silent meditation.

  I thought I must have done something wrong, but then it was there, movement in the corner of my eye, the flow of fresh water through a shallow creek bed, from which her voice arose. I looked to where I had seen the movement but the water disappeared. I stared for over a minute but it didn’t return.

  I looked at the ground in confusion, at the dewy grass trampled beneath my feet and collapsed onto it on all fours. A yellow light pulsed at the edge of my vision, my head clouded, but I knew this was right. I buried my fingers in the cold, damp greenery and further still into the dirt below.

  Suddenly it seemed to me that the grass moved, liquid under my touch and when I pulled my hand up in front of my face it dripped with mud…and water. I looked down and I was suddenly, impossibly, kneeling along the edge of an expansive stream. I screamed in surprise as I scrambled back onto real dry land.

  The water dripped off my clothes and arms and I was scared out of my mind, but mesmerized all the same. I had found the larynx of the singer, but for what purpose?

  I felt extremely tired, both physically and mentally drained. My intuition pressured me, but it did not give a lead to what I should do next. So a creek had materialized out of nowhere, but I still didn’t see any Headquarters. My abilities declined. My thought processes blurred.

  Perhaps Headquarters was alive in the stream, an Atlantis settlement of sorts. An underwater city would be good for me right now, I thought. Water was clean and pure, and I longed for clarity and strength. Yellow still tinged the edges of my vision and when I blinked, dark spots bloomed in front of my eyes.

  The journey plunged me into an Impressionistic nightmare with an overabundance of Claudes. The scenery resembled a blended Monet painting, as I vaguely recognized the beauty of where I stood, but the brushstrokes of the world blurred together in a mist of indistinguishable colors and shapes. And while I tried to collect my thoughts into a mildly reasonable formation, nature’s version of a formless Debussy composition clouded my ears, where everything flowed together timelessly in a dimension of haziness. I would have appreciated the balance, control, and clear lines of the Classical Era just then.

  I finally steadied myself and blinked away the vertigo so I could look into the creek, where indeed I did see an underwater building…but how to reach it? I had already been in the water so that discounted a fleeting theory that I just had to touch it in order to transport below the surface. Maybe I had to entirely submerge myself. My intuition no longer helped me, and it seemed as though I had exhausted my gift.

  The underwater palace was grand and small at the same time, like a miniature model of the place where I should be. And then suddenly after many minutes of staring inconclusively at the surface, trying to figure a way to gain access to the world below it, I realized that such a world did not exist, at least not here. I didn’t look into a window, but rather a mirror. The giant Victorian house I saw was not under the water but was reflected in it, and when I looked up, it was there in front of me.

  Chapter 13

  I was no stranger to vivid dreams and nightmares. Some of them were so realistic that when I woke, the memory of them left me in utter confusion as I attempted to make sense of what was reality and what was fantasy. For the most part, those dreams existed on extreme ends of a sleep land continuum, either amazingly blissful or horrifically nightmarish.

  Concerning the latter, I felt relief when I woke and realized I was safely in my bed and not, like I thought just seconds before, living my worst subconscious fears, which manifested themselves as nightmares when I had no power to push them away and pretend they didn’t exist.

  On the other hand, after experiencing a particularly good dream, disappointment overwhelmed me when I woke and realized that everything I thought was real just seconds before was, in fact, a lie, and I was still stuck in the same old life I’d always been living.

  In the middle of the continuum, or maybe on a different spectrum altogether, were the times when I woke from sleep, and upon realizing that reality was sadly not a dream, I broke down and felt like ceasing to exist. I had known that feeling well; it accompanied me in the days after the crash, and again on the morning after Michael’s death, when I awoke in a fog and tried to will my thoughts not to form.

  When Michael died, I fell asleep grieving over the one I loved. The next morning I felt the sun peek through the open blinds on my window and lay twisted in a cacophony of sheets and blankets, and I tried to imagine that it all had been a nightmare, that I would get up to a morning like any other and my Michael would still live. But as I gradually remembered and sorted out the truth I couldn’t bear to think of, I knew that this time the dreams didn’t deceive me, I had deceived myself.

  By the time I looked
upon the great mansion there in the mystical woods, with my reality cipher smashed to pieces, and the events in my awakened state seeming so dreamlike, I couldn’t rationally decide if anything was real or fake.

  My cognitive abilities failed me right along with my supernatural ones, and I could not gather the energy or know-how to stand up from the ground and walk across the large stone bridge that spanned the creek. Something at the back of my mind faintly said Headquarters, but I couldn’t quite recall what that meant or if it was of importance.

  “Aubrie,” a sweet voice murmured.

  Aubrie. Yes, my name is Aubrie. I raised my head to see a man’s backlit silhouette standing over me. I glanced behind him to stare at the monstrous house, and attempted to decipher what it was, while the landscape shimmered like a mirage. I felt a hand on my shoulder and then the man knelt down beside me. At his touch, I felt warmer and strengthened.

  “Do you see the house?”

  I looked at him again and realized that I knew him.

  “Gabriel.” I knew his name and I could speak it. Quite an accomplishment, I thought. He smiled when I said his name, reached down, and grasped my hand in his, and he knew that I saw it, this gigantic house, this “Headquarters.” I started to gain control over my senses again, and clarity seemed to transfer from his hand into mine.

  “Yes, this is Headquarters. Let’s get you inside.” He scooped me up in his arms as he had done back at the hospital and I didn’t protest as he carried me across the bridge, whereupon I couldn’t keep my eyes open for the exhaustion that had enveloped me. Although my strength, memory, and senses returned to me at an alarming rate once he held me, I remained limp in his arms after such an overbearing experience.

  I must have fallen asleep because the last thing I remember was Gabriel’s strong arms curled around me as he carried me over the bridge and across the expansive front lawn.

  I awoke to a room I didn’t recognize, but soon realized where I must have been. Such a bedroom would only belong inside the mansion I had at last deciphered as Headquarters. I no longer felt utterly drained of energy, but my limbs remained heavy. Faint light filled the room even though the darkness of night loomed beyond the curtained windows. A few vanilla-scented candles flickered and threw the room’s magnificence into a stately glow.

  The walls were a pale pacific blue, accented with white crown molding at the twelve-foot ceiling, and a few elaborately framed paintings hung at convenient intervals on the wall. To my left, next to a dreamy bay window framed in lacy billowing curtains, stood a white wooden armoire, around which my suitcases were piled.

  The bed I rested in could have been sufficient enough for Queen Victoria, complete with blue and white frame, quilt, and canopy. I had never slept in a bed so comfortable and I considered rolling over and going back to sleep when I realized I didn’t know why I should wake in the middle of the night in such a comfortable bed. That soon became apparent to me.

  “Marielle! Marielle where are you?” A woman was calling, and indeed in one of the calmest, most beautiful voices I had ever heard. Although she clearly searched for someone, I heard only slight tones of frustration and distress. I looked to my right, where her voice seemed to emanate from and let out a gasp of fright as I sat up against the headboard.

  There, standing right next to my bed was a little girl, maybe seven or eight-years-old. She stared at me through huge, chocolate eyes set in perfect porcelain skin, long soft brown hair cascading over her shoulders. The sight of her disturbed me, but it was impossible not to feel at peace in her presence. I immediately liked her despite the shock her appearance had given me.

  I had not imagined that the calling woman’s voice had emerged from this tiny pixie, but rather figured she was the subject of the woman’s worry.

  “Are you Marielle?” I asked.

  She smiled timidly, nodded, and answered me in a tinkling voice. “Yes. And you’re Aubrie.” She giggled and turned away to look at the arched doorway where the previously bodiless lady stepped into the room.

  “Marielle, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.” Marielle ran to the woman I assumed was her mother, who then turned her attention to me. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I should’ve known I would find her here, she took such interest in you when you arrived. I’m Eleanor, by the way, and this is my daughter, Marielle.” She gestured to the girl who peered out at me with a mixture of interest and anxiety from her hiding place behind her mother. “This is your room now, I hope you like it.”

  I nodded. Eleanor was beautiful, tall and thin with onyx black hair cut in an asymmetrical bob, a flawless complexion and a countenance that made you feel welcome. “Nice to meet you,” I stammered, but I hardly had time to say more or gain a response from her before another person stood behind her in the doorway…A person who made me feel as though I had found something I hadn’t realized I was missing.

  “Gabriel!” Although my mind shrieked his name as well, it was not me, but Marielle, who delightedly squeaked his name and jumped lightly into his arms. The whole scene took me off guard. When Gabriel had told me of the society, I had not pictured children or families. I suddenly had so many new questions, which went unanswered for a time, as Gabriel set Marielle back down and Eleanor escorted her from the room with a gentle “goodnight” and a look of apology.

  Only Gabriel remained and I suddenly felt self-conscious as I fully recognized that I probably looked like a train wreck. I sure as hell felt like one, anyway.

  “I can go, but since I noticed you’re awake, I thought we might talk now. I’m sure you have more questions, and you’ll probably be busy the next few days. The elders are coming to meet with you.”

  I deliberated. Of course I wanted to talk to him, particularly now since more questions arose in my head. But I still felt awkward given the circumstances.

  “Umm, yeah…can you just give me a minute?” He nodded and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

  Firstly, I needed to change out of the clothes I had worn for the past two days. I jumped off of the bed and knelt beside my luggage. Even the bag I had left in the car was there, as was my purse, which I had thought I abandoned at the hospital. I wondered briefly what had happened to my car and if the person who rescued my purse, with the keys in it, had also thought to salvage my Civic.

  I started opening the suitcases, endeavoring to find something suitable to wear in Gabriel’s presence. Funnily enough, I opened the exact right suitcase and pushed just enough clothes back to reveal a pair of cotton shorts and a hoodie. Out of curiosity, I opened the armoire and was puzzled to find clothes inside, clothes that weren’t mine. I shut the doors and walked back to the bed. I finger-brushed my hair and threw it up into a messy bun. Good enough.

  “Okay, you can come back in!” I yelled as I sat down on the end of the bed. Gabriel re-entered and then closed the door behind him before walking over to the windows. He knelt on the lush white cushions of the window seat and pulled back the light curtains, opening the side windows so a fresh breeze crept in, and I could hear the sounds of the country night outside.

  “I thought you would like this room. It doesn’t have a balcony but you can sit here by the open windows, and it has an awesome view of the back yard.” He turned to look at me to see if I found it suitable, and a smile broke out on his face. “Stop doing that,” he said.

  “Doing what?” I asked innocently.

  “That look. With your eyes.”

  “I can’t stop something I don’t know I’m doing,” I joked. But I knew what I’d done, and I was simultaneously ashamed and confused about why I did.

  “Sure, sure. You just throw around that wide-eyed flirty look for no reason then?”

  “You must be imagining things,” I explained, “It’s been a long day for both of us.”

  I walked over and sat down next to him and the smell of grass and the woods washed over me, the warm perfume of summer masking the scent of the candles in th
e room.

  Since the only light originated from the candles, I could look out of the window and see the yard behind the house, which grew into a field behind that. I looked up to the sky and caught my breath when I saw the stars shining in the dark void above, something that never ceased to amaze me.

  “Gabriel I love it! This is amazing!” He smiled and my heartbeat quickened disobediently. He settled down across from me, our backs against the wall, knees bent, feet almost touching. The candlelight flickered hazily over the left side of his face, throwing the scars in and out of the oscillating glow. He was good at pretending like he didn’t notice people staring at them.

  I leaned my head back against the window and tried to think of what to ask first. Although I wanted to ask about the families and children in our chapter, a different question escaped my lips before I could stop myself.

  “Why did you save me instead of Cara?” I saw confusion but not shock on his face. I thought this particular question would take him by surprise but apparently, it had been what he expected me to ask him.

  “I didn’t mean to, to be honest,” he started, looking guilty. “My mission was to rescue Cara and I swear that’s what I meant to do, but when I saw you, and so stupidly running to open the door to them…I don’t know, my objective completely left me, and all I could think of was saving you.” He hesitated, looking up at me as though requiring assistance to further his explanation. My heart throbbed but I nodded encouragingly and he continued.

  “It was like my gift was overriding my brain, and when I changed my course to save you, it felt like a big weight was lifted off me.” I didn’t say anything, but I thought I knew what he had felt, or at least something close to the same feeling. As I conquered the obstacles to discover Headquarters, it felt as though the force pressuring me receded. But he made it seem as though he should not have felt that way when he saved me.