Russell's Book of Secrets

by Terry J. Benton

  I stood from the desk and paced about my room. After a several minutes of exhausting implausible possibilities in my mind I took my hand and swept everything from the top of my desk onto the floor. I picked up my phone and dialed Walter’s number.

  “Hello,” he answered.

  I swallowed hard despite the lump in my throat. “Okay,” I said.

  “Okay, what?” he asked.

  “I’ll do it.”

  I could feel him grinning and his gold tooth shining on the other end of the phone. “Excellent,” he said. “I knew you’d be back.”

  END DERRICK

  Mercedes

  Mercedes sat the doll in her lap and parted its hair down the middle. She placed rubber bands in the doll’s hair so it would have ponytails on either side of its head; just like hers. She stood from her seat and walked to the other side of her bedroom. When she looked into the mirror, she saw her and her doll’s reflections. They looked like twins. Both had a light caramel complexion and hair with matching hairstyles.

  “Allison you look very nice,” Mercedes complimented her doll. “Now, we should go find mommy and see if she will take us out for ice cream!”

  Mercedes tucked the doll into cloth belt around the waist of her dress and exited her room, which was situated at the end of a long hallway. It was the first week of summer vacation in St. Petersburg, Florida and Mercedes was enjoying every minute of it. The hallway was lined with floor-to-ceiling windows and Mercedes could see the palm trees outside their house swaying from side to side in the gentle breeze.

  She stopped at one of the windows and peered outside. Her father’s black BMW was parked in the large circular driveway in the front of the house. Her eyes stretched as she clapped her hands together. “This is great, Allison!” she addressed her doll. “Daddy came home early from work and maybe he can go out with us.”

  Mercedes tore down the hallway and into her parent’s bedroom at the opposite end of the hall. When she entered the room she stopped at the doorway and looked around. Her parent’s bedroom was gargantuan. To Mercedes, the walls seemed to climb forever until they met the vaulted ceiling. To one side of the room was a king-sized four-poster bed that Mercedes loved to cuddle with her parents in at night. On the other side of the bedroom were a sitting area and a desk where her father would work from time to time.

  Today her father’s desk was in complete disarray. Papers were strewn about the surface and all along the floor at the base of the desk. Mercedes stared at the desk until she heard voices coming from the Master Bathroom.

  “Mommy? Daddy?” she called out but her parents were too engrossed in their conversation to hear her. It sounded as if they were arguing. Mercedes walked to the bathroom door and peeped through the crack to see what all the commotion was about.

  “I can’t believe this,” her mother said as she grabbed both sides of her head in distress. “What the hell are we supposed to do now?”

  “I don’t know,” her father said as he sat on the edge of the tub and looked down at the floor.

  “Please tell me it’s not all gone. I know we at least have something left that we set aside a while back.”

  Her father continued to stare at the floor in silence.

  “Well?” her mother asked.

  Mercedes’ father dug his face into the palm of his hands.

  “You’re kidding, right?” she asked.

  “No!” he bellowed so loud that Mercedes jumped back. “They convinced me that it was not going to be a risky investment. They said that whatever I put in had the potential to be tripled and potentially quadrupled. I didn’t know that it was all a scam. The CEO and the President of the company cashed out their investments, abandoned the company, and left the country. Nobody knows where they are.”

  “How long have you been hiding this from me?” she asked.

  “A few weeks,” he said. “I thought that I would be able to figure something out… maybe at least get some of our money back.”

  “So what you’re telling me is that not only has my husband been keeping from me that fact that we are diving headfirst into poverty, but our entire life savings is gone, including Mercedes’ college fund and you don’t even have a damn job?”

  “I’m afraid not,” he said.

  “How are we going to pay our bills? What about this house?”

  “We’ll have to down-size.”

  “Property values here are skyrocketing; where can we afford to move in St. Petersburg?” her mother asked.

  “We won’t be moving here. There aren’t any jobs in this area. I may have a lead on a job in Georgia. We can stay with some of my family until we get back on our feet. We’ll have to sell the house.”

  “What about Mercedes’ school and her friends?” asked her mother. “We can’t just uproot her like this.”

  “Mercedes is a very resilient child. She will adjust.”

  “She will adjust?” asked her mother. “Is that all you have to offer is she will adjust?” she mocked.

  Her father stood in a rage and swept all the products from the bathroom counter onto the floor. “I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN, DAMMIT! MAYBE IF YOU WORKED WITH ME INSTEAD OF CRITICIZING WE COULD FIND A SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM!”

  Her mother folded her arms and rolled her neck. “Oh! So now you need me to help you come up with a solution to a problem that you created without so much as a word to me?”

  “Well maybe if you got off your ass from time to time and actually did some real work besides shopping all day we wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

  Mercedes backed away from the door when she heard the sound of her mother slapping her father. Tears were rolling down her face as she sat on the floor next to the door with her knees cradled against her chest. Moments later the door swung open and her mother stormed out and down the hall.

  When Mercedes woke up, she was alone and lying on the floor next to her doll, Allison. She rolled over and stared at the ceiling. Her adolescent mind wandered as she watched the blades of the ceiling fan spin continuously. She heard the door creak and she slowly turned her head to see who was entering the room. It was her grandmother.

  Mercedes’ grandmother lived in the guest suite in the basement of their house. She’d been sick a lot lately and since they had so much space, her father had invited her to come live with them. Her grandmother’s beautiful dark skin was wrinkled with many years of wisdom. She always kept her silver hair curled tight and she had a smile that would melt the heart of anyone.

  “There you are!” Her grandmother smiled when she saw Mercedes lying on the floor. “I’ve been looking for you, my love. It took me a while because this house is so big and you know I’m getting old.”

  Mercedes sat up and the tears began to flow again.

  “Oh no,” said her grandmother. “What’s the matter?” she asked as she motioned for Mercedes’ to come to her.

  Mercedes stood from the floor and ran to her grandmother. She wrapped her arms around her waist and squeezed her tight as she felt her grandmother’s hands caress her back. The light floral scent that wafted from her grandmother’s dress seemed to soothe Mercedes’ nerves.

  “Now are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” asked her grandmother as she held Mercedes’ chin in her hand.

  “Mommy and Daddy were fighting. They say we don’t have any money and we have to move.”

  Her grandmother’s facial expression became sullen as she stared at her granddaughter. She looked into the bathroom and saw everything from the counter strewn about the floor. “Come with me,” she said. “Let’s get out of this stuffy old house for a while.”

  “Okay,” agreed Mercedes.

  They walked downstairs and outside. Once outside they climbed into her grandmother’s gold Buick. Even though Mercedes’ father had offered many times to buy his mother a new luxury car she always refused. She claimed that she loved her Buick and it was good enough for her. It pr
obably had sentimental value for her because it was the last thing that her husband bought her before he passed away a few years ago.

  “Where are we going, Grandma?” asked Mercedes.

  “It’s a surprise,” answered her grandmother. She looked over at Mercedes and smiled.

  Mercedes watched the surroundings fly by as they made their way to their destination. After a short trip, her grandmother parked the car and announced that they’d arrived. Mercedes hopped out of the car and grabbed her grandmother’s hand. When they made it to the edge of the parking lot, she knew immediately where they were. She’d brought her to the mall – the same place that she was going to ask her mother to bring her for ice cream earlier.

  “Are we getting ice cream, Grandma?” asked Mercedes.

  “Well aren’t you a smarty,” said her grandmother. “I can’t even surprise you anymore.” She squeezed Mercedes’ hand as they walked through the mall entrance and made their way to the food court.

  Mercedes ordered her favorite: a double-scoop chocolate ice cream cone and her grandmother had a scoop of strawberry ice cream in a bowl. They sat at a small table across from the ice cream shop and chatted while they ate their ice cream.

  “How do you like it?” asked her grandmother.

  “It’s delicious,” said Mercedes as she gingerly licked the side of her cone.

  “Ice cream always makes me feel better,” said her grandmother. “I thought it might work for you too.”

  Mercedes nodded and continued to eat her ice cream.

  “Baby, I don’t want you to worry about what’s happening with your mama and daddy. I’m not sure what all you heard but I want you to know that it’s not as bad as it seems.”

  “But they said we have to move. I don’t want to move. I like my house and all my friends and my school.”

  “I know you do,” said her grandmother. “But what I also know is that everything that happens in your life is all a part of God’s plan.”

  “God’s plan?” asked Mercedes. “What is God’s plan?”

  “I don’t know baby. Only God knows; but what I do know is that whenever he closes a door, he opens a window. This new window that he’s opening for you is going to lead you into a life that you may have never even imagined you’d have. The best part is getting there! It may seem scary at first, but know that God will never mislead you. Plus, Grandma will always be here to love my baby. Even when I pass on, I’ll watch you from Heaven and cheer you on.”

  “Are you moving to Georgia with us, Grandma?” asked Mercedes.

  “Oh sweetheart,” she replied, “I’m afraid not. You see… Grandma is getting too old to move around so much. I’ve gotten settled here and I like it. Besides, your parents have enough to worry about without me adding to their problems.”

  “But I’m going to miss you,” said Mercedes.

  “Aw, my sweet Mercedes. I am going to miss you too; but you are always welcome to visit me whenever you like. My home will always be open to my baby. Just make sure you ask your parents for permission first.”

  “Yes ma’am,” agreed Mercedes with a smile.

  “Now finish your ice cream cone so we can do some shopping.”

  Mercedes’ eyes lit up as she began to devour her ice cream. Her grandmother shifted in her chair as she laughed at her granddaughter.

  * * *

  Mercedes pressed her nose against the glass case as she stared at the gold bamboo earrings. She’d never seen anything like them before. Her mother had a lot of jewelry, but nothing like these. She imagined herself wearing those earrings and how beautiful she’d be.

  “So you like those earrings?” asked her grandmother.

  “Yes ma’am,” Mercedes nodded.

  “Well they are certainly beautiful,” said her grandmother. “Look, Mercedes! There’s two pair of the same ones.”

  Mercedes looked to her grandmother in puzzlement.

  “Well,” her grandmother started, “I was thinking that we could both get them and that way even when you move to Georgia, we’ll always have something that will link us together and remind us of one another.”

  Mercedes’ eyes shone as bright as stars while she smiled at her grandmother.

  “I’ll take two pairs of the bamboo hoops please, for me and my granddaughter here,” Mercedes’ grandmother addressed the jewelry salesman.

  When the transaction was complete, her grandmother knelt down and removed the stud earrings Mercedes was wearing, replacing them with the new bamboo hoops. After her grandmother tried on her own earrings, the salesman handed her a mirror. Mercedes backed against her grandmother’s chest and rested her head on her grandmother’s shoulder.

  In the reflection of the mirror she saw her grandmother lightly flick her earring and smile. “Now don’t we look beautiful?” she asked.

  “Yes grandmother,” Mercedes agreed. “We sure do.”

  END MERCEDES

  Russell

  I sit in my first grade classroom and watch the clock, patiently waiting for the recess bell to ring. Mrs. Wilkins is talking about a writing assignment after the break but no one is paying much attention. We’re all anxious to get outside to the playground.

  The bell rings and it sounds as if an explosion resonates through the room. Children yell as they head toward the backdoor that leads to the playground and our thirty minutes of freedom. I jump from my seat and then pat the right pocket of my shorts. Yep. My Power Ranger action figures are still where I left them.

  I run outside with the rest of the kids and the sunlight blinds me momentarily. I blink while I take in the fresh air and survey my surroundings. Directly in front of me are swings that are completely occupied and kids are waiting in line for the next turn. On the pavement to my right several girls are playing a game of foursquare. I’m tempted to join them but I want to do something different today. To the left in the farthest part of the playground, a group of boys are preparing to start a football game.

  It takes only a few seconds for me to run to where the game is about to begin. Yes, I think to myself, I’m not too late. They haven’t chosen teams yet.

  “Can I play?” I say as I approach.

  Immediately, a hush falls over the group. Moments later a few of the boys toward the back of the group snicker to each other. One of the older kids walks up and squints at me in the sunlight.

  “You want to play football?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I answer nervously as my eyes dart about the group. I wonder what the issue is with me playing with them. I’ve never played before but I wanted to at least give it a try.

  “Okay,” he said as if he wasn’t completely convinced. “We already have team captains and we’re about to start picking teams.”

  With a grin, I run over and stand next to the group. I hear whispering behind my back but I try to ignore it. The team captains step forward and choose teams. I patiently wait my turn but not only is there an odd number of players now, I’m also chosen last. I still smile despite my disappointment.

  My team huddles at one end of the field and the captain, Eddie, explains our plan for the game.

  “I’ll be the quarterback,” he says. “William, I want you to cover James. Tyrone you can cover Mark. Jason I want you to take Zack, and Greg can take Corey. Whoever gets the ball first just try to get as far as you can and we’ll cover for you.”

  “What about me?” I ask. I hear someone suck their teeth across from me but I ignore it.

  “Just do what you can,” Eddie says.

  I nod in agreement as we break and await the other team to acknowledge that the game has started. The other team comes out of their huddle and lines up to run down the field as someone kicks the football in our direction. My heart races as I see the ball spinning in the air towards me. I squint as the sun blinds me and shift back and forth to prepare to catch the ball. Just as the ball is almost in my grasp, a shadow passes in front of me. It’s William.
He catches the ball and takes off down the field.

  I run with the rest of the team and try to help block but I’m just not as fast as everyone else. James breaks away from Eddie and heads straight for William but William doubles back and looks for an opening, giving me a chance to catch up. In a desperate attempt to prove my worth and save the day, I head straight for James.

  All I see is the palm of his hand meet my face before I’m on my back, winded, and staring up at the clouds. I feel a twinge of pain and rub the scrapes on both my arms as I sit up and see that William made it halfway to the goal line before he was tackled. My team walks past me sitting on the ground and huddles again. I jump to my feet and stand on the outside of the circle. Since I’m on the outside, I can barely hear what the plan is before the conversation is over and we’re to start the next play.

  We all get in a straight line and prepare to run down the field again. Eddie calls the game into play as we tear down the field. No one bothers to cover me so I stand to the side, halfway to the goal line and wave my hands desperately at Eddie. This is it, I think to myself. This is my chance to prove myself. If I can make a touchdown then maybe they’ll respect and accept me. Maybe they’ll be my friends.

  Eddie notices me waving my arms and looks around the field at our other teammates, but no one is free. He shrugs and throws the ball hard at me. I bite my bottom lip in concentration as the football spirals fast towards me. I reach my hands forward in anticipation of the ball but it’s coming too fast. It slips past my outstretched fingers, pounds me hard in the chest, and falls to the ground. I failed. I feel the tears well in my eyes as the other team laughs and my team groans with anger. I refuse to let the tears fall though. I choke the emotion back and keep moving.

  “What the hell, Eddie?” asks William. “Why would you pass the ball to the faggot?”

  Eddie doesn’t respond. Instead he just looks back and forth between me and William. The team comes together to play the third down and I stand next to Eddie. Tyrone walks up and pushes me to the side. He doesn’t use his hands because then he would actually have to acknowledge me. Instead, he wedges his body in the space between me and Eddie, pushing me off-balance. I try to maintain my position next to Eddie but Tyrone turns to me and points a finger into my chest.