by Ford, Mia
“Wow,” I pant as he darts out his tongue to lap up beads of perspiration covering my collar bone. “This is…”
He doesn’t let me answer. Instead, he slams me up against the nearest wall and traces his fingers over the outside of my cotton panties. Strange, I could have sworn that I put on lacy ones for the double date disaster to give me a much needed boost of confidence, but I guess I’m like teen me, yet again. This is all very confusing, the younger version of myself and the me who I have become mixing together to become… in this moment.
I part my thighs and spread them further apart, even leaning one of my feet up against the wall to invite him in further, and thankfully Seth seems to sense what I need, and jumps on that invitation willingly. He yanks my panties down, a little roughly, but it’s sexy to see him so turned on, and I kick them to the side, out of our way, Seth spins me around so I’m facing the wall with my palms spread wide.
“Oh God,” He’s taken my breath away already, I can’t wait for what’s to come. The excitement is toe curling; I can hardly contain the butterflies flapping like crazy inside of my stomach. “Oh, Seth.”
“You’re so wet,” Seth hisses as he traces his finger along my slit. “Wet for me.”
“All for you.” I push my ass out, offering more of myself to him. He can have all of me, damn it. The primal groans flying out of my mouth as he barely even touches my clit must let him know how crazy desperate I am.
“You want me inside of you?” I can feel his words vibrating all the way through my body and I nod eagerly. “Are you sure? Because I’m the famous Seth Bishop now, so I’m a lot to handle.”
Fuck, even that is hot as hell. I don’t know the super famous Seth, I only know what I see in the media, but I can imagine he’s a fucking expert with his fingers. I want to be on the receiving end of that pleasure right now. Here, where I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming, it’s a safe space where I can just enjoy myself without ending up hurt. At first, he doesn’t give me what I want, he continues softly brushing over my clit until my knees turn to jelly, but then just as I’m sure that I will fall down and hit the ground hard, he gives it to me.
“Fuck!” I scream out as he spears me, his touch somehow hard and sensual all at once. “Oh my God.”
He plunges those manly fingers in me a few times until I can’t handle it anymore. I fall, the full weight of my body leaning into the cold wall, but the freezing hardness does nothing to calm the heat in my body down. I’m on fire. Every part of me, and I never want the flames to end.
“You need to lie down,” Seth whispers softly to me, his kind words a complete contrast to the hardness he has pushed inside of me. “Your body can’t take anymore. Here, let me.”
Seth scoops me up into his arms, allowing me to wrap myself around him, and he rests his forehead against mine. There is something dancing behind his gaze as he carries me the agonizingly long distance to his bed, and it isn’t just desire. I can see that he doesn’t just want me in a sexual way, but that he loves me as well. That he’s been wanting me just as long as I have him. I even manage to overshadow all those Hollywood women in his eyes. God, if he keeps looking at me like I am the most beautiful woman alive, I might start to believe it.
“Here.” As Seth lies me back on his bed, I suddenly realize that I am completely naked, and he is too. Every inch of his gorgeous, thick muscular body, which I have now seen in many magazines, is on display for only me. A playground to do whatever I want. And all I want to do, is touch him all over. Especially there.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head as his throbbing length reveals itself. He’s absolutely massive. So big that I don’t know if I am going to be able to handle him, but the pulsing at my core sure wants to try.
“You don’t know what’s coming for you,” he declares as he climbs over me in a predatorial manner. “Darcy, I have been holding back, never giving everyone all of me, because I have been waiting for you. For this moment, to be inside of you, show you exactly what I am worth. So you finally understand…”
I don’t get any time to think about what that means, because within the next beat of my heart, he is inside me, filling me up in the most incredible way possible. My back automatically arches, and my ass rises from the bed as he sends my head spinning with pleasure already. He has me, Seth Bishop finally has me.
The man grips me hard, not caring even as I’m pretty sure that my nails are digging into his skin, but hopefully he understands that I can’t help it. I don’t have any choice in the matter. The pressure of pleasure that he has pooling in my stomach is too hard for me to contain. I’m hungry for it, I need it, so with each thrust from him I buck back just as hard. Soon I know that I won’t remain on the knife edge of desire. I will fall…
My eyes pop open, my heart thundering and aching in my chest, my body writhing with bliss. I’m no longer asleep, something has snatched me from my dream, but somehow, the images that my brain has created are so powerful that I continue to sink under the waves of bliss. The orgasm crashes through me, Seth Bishop still has a part of my heart, and I just can’t stop it. I’m drowning in pleasure. The sheets wrap around me tightly because I can’t sit still, and I have to bury my face in my pillow to stop anyone from listening to me scream. Because yelling out in a weird pleasure moment caused by an intense dream, isn’t something that I would ever know how to explain…
What the hell? I ask myself as I pant through the post orgasmic bliss. That was weird as fuck.
I have never dreamt something that vivid before, ever, even when it has been a while and I’m more than a little needy. But just a glimpse of Seth and I’m a hot mess for him. I can’t let him get under my skin like that, not when he’s only here for a fleeting visit. It can’t end well for me…
A banging sound coming from outside of my window has me jumping to my feet. Something took me from my dream, and it could have been that. Someone outside causing chaos. This is a quiet neighborhood. That doesn’t happen a lot, so this is strange. Since today has been a day of weirdness, why the hell would this be any different?
I’m a little nervous as I creep over to the window. I don’t think I should have watched that true crime documentary last week because it has me all paranoid about robbers and murderers. Images that I don’t want to be thinking of have completely consumed my brain, causing me to fear for my damn life.
By the time I peer through, it’s a relief to see that it’s just a drunken Seth staggering back home. I glance at my clock and see that it’s nearly three AM, which means that he must have been at an after party at one of his buddy’s houses. Either that or he was with a woman. Not that I want to think about that, since I was just dreaming about him. That’s too humiliating for words. So …
I would rather wonder why he’s opted to stay with his father rather than in some fancy hotel somewhere. I mean, sure, him and his dad were close way back when, but they can’t be that close now since he hasn’t been back for years, this seems a little strange. Me and him will be next door neighbors again. At least for a short while. Now, that is a sentence that I never thought I would say, since he got caught up in Hollywood and fame…
Nor do I know how to feel about it. Any of it, but it seems that I’m going to at least have a few days to find out. I can observe him and see if he really is Seth Bishop: Mr. Hollywood, or if there is still a part of him that’s the boy I used to know. I don’t know what outcome I would prefer. I don’t suppose any of it makes any difference since it can’t be forever, but it will be interesting to see anyway…
Chapter Seven
Seth
December 23rd
“Oh my God.” I clutch on to my forehead, willing the massive ache away, even though I know that it won’t go anywhere. It’s my own fault, I suppose, since I practically consumed my body weight in booze. Great fun last night, not so much this morning. Why can’t I ever be sensible?
I try to push myself in to a sitting position, but sickness and swirling pins me back down. Plus, I obvio
usly didn’t have the sense to take my jeans off in my drunken haze, so now I am stuck here, too ill to move.
Seeing Benji and the rest of the guys was a God send though. Even with this hangover from hell, Im so glad I came home. It really brought me out of the funk that I didn’t even realize that I was in. Coming back here confirms the decisions Ive been making lately, changing the direction of my career. I definitely need to move away from action and towards something that means more to me. A passion project that I can really throw all of my heart and soul in to.
Even though I can’t bear to move, a smile creeps up on my face because there is a genuine happiness in my heart. Even Sierra will understand why I just have to do this when she sees me again, because my life isn’t just about ploughing forwards and making as much of myself as I can anymore. I have been through all of that and established myself. Now is the time to make myself happy, to find the balance in my life that I need to keep myself going.
Of course, it doesn’t take long for my mind to drift back to Darcy and our strange meeting last night. I think that might have been playing on my mind all night long. That was the turning point I started going a bit crazy and taking it too far. Sinking drinks, because she didn’t seem to like me anymore and my fragile ego couldn’t handle it. I still feel the sting of it morning.
There has to still be something there between me and Darcy, doesn’t there? A friendship that burned that bright can’t just fizzle out, can it? Even if I have been a shit, we can get passed it. I’m sure. All I need to do is make Darcy see that I am willing to put in effort for her, to show her how amazing I think she is. I mean, she probably thinks that I have become a dick because I left and haven’t been back. That’s why she is so wary of me, and why I need to prove to her that I am still me.
When my eyes slide closed to block out my self-induced agony, I think about how important Darcy is to me. More so now than ever before. Because she really does see me. Even more than Benji and the others, she has always known the real me. Darcy is the person that I spoke to about my dreams, I shared my hurt with, knows about my mother leaving me… I could always tell her anything and never feel judged. She certainly hasn’t ever judged me about my behavior or compared me to my father… at least I assume that she hasn’t. I suppose that she could be sucked in by the media circus around me just as much as everyone else. She might not even remember how well she knows me; how much she understands me.
“Fuck,” I whisper to myself as I yearn for her. I want her to creep through my bedroom window like she used to, sit at the edge of my bed while she listens to me rant about something. It’s almost like a physical hole in my stomach. One that has always been there, but I haven’t really given credit to, until now.
Her shining face, that lovely welcoming smile of hers, the lilting laugh that always causes me to join in… God, I don’t know what I want from her now. Do I need only her friendship or do I want to risk those feelings that I have for her and try something? I kinda think that it might be a bit of both.
I could commit to Darcy easily. At twenty eight years old, I don’t have any hang ups about settling down if I know that she’s the one. I don’t need to have any more flings. It isn’t an issue for me. I knew six years ago when we kissed that she was the one for me, but I picked this lifestyle instead. I pushed her from my mind assuming that would be easier, but now that I’m in the middle of making changes… well, it could be the time to revisit that choice. But if I do, I can’t go back and forth like I have inside of my mind. I need to make a decision and stick to it because Darcy deserves that. She deserves a strong man, not someone who can’t even make up his mind about what people he wants to pretend to be on screen. She deserves the world.
I would give her the world too, if she would let me. Before I left, I didn’t have enough for her, but now I have the world at my feet, and I can give her all of me. She just needs to see that.
Eventually, I force my achy body out of bed when I start to feel well enough, I hear my father messing around downstairs, and I walk down to greet him. On the way, I get the distinct smell of bacon and eggs inside of my nostrils, which excites me and makes me want to puke at the same time. I don’t usually eat greasy food like that because I have a body to maintain, but I’m at home, so I can eat what I want.
“Good to see you at last, Seth,” my father declares wryly as soon as he lays eyes on me. “Looking just as I expected you to, considering the amount of racket you made when you got in last night… a long time after your flight landed, I might add. I was expecting you to arrive a lot earlier.”
“Sorry,” I groan as I slump into a seat at the dining table. “I got a call from Benji as soon as I landed, and he roped me in to going out with him and the guys. I didn’t expect to get quite so messy.”
“Well, as long as you had a good time.” Dad slides me a mug of coffee which I sip eagerly. “That’s all that matters to me. It isn’t like I need to get a lot of sleep anyway. I was in a rock band, don’t you know? I have gone for months without any sleep.” He shoots me a playful wink. “Even if I am old.”
God, I must be sick. I don’t have the energy to make any kind of witty remark about this. All I can do is chuckle and nod. Thankfully, food soon comes my way, which makes everything better.
“So, I have to ask, did you see Darcy last night while you were out? Because it’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”
Of course, he goes straight for the jugular. I mean, he doesn’t even know that’s what he’s doing, he just knows how close we were, but his words leave me a little breathless. “Y… yes, I did. Briefly.”
“Oh, dear.” Dad’s expression darkens. “That doesn’t sound good. Was it not a good reunion? Did she have a man with her or something? Because I know that would hurt, even if you pretend otherwise…”
Oh… so maybe his question wasn’t so innocent after all. It seems that I wasn’t exactly discrete about my crush on Darcy after all back then, because even my non-observant father noticed it. How obvious was I? And how did we only end up kissing that one time? It’s crazy. We could have had a real torrid teenage love affair that I would always look back on with fond memories and a broken heart…if I knew that everybody suspected something
Actually, that doesn’t sound so great. Maybe it happened the way that it did for a reason.
“No man.” I shake my head hard. Thank God there was no man, I didn’t even think of that possibility! Perhaps I should have taken the time to check her ring finger. “It was just awkward, that’s all. Really strange.”
“Probably for the best,” Dad surprises me by replying. “She is the one girl that you could have actually fallen in love with, isn’t she? Given half the chance. And we all know how that works out.” He shudders hard. “Nothing good can ever come from love. It only ever leads to pain and heartache…”
Of course. I should have known that he was going to go there, he always does. My mother ruined him and turned him off love completely. I suppose it’s a miracle that the same hasn’t happened to me, but I won’t let it. She won’t destroy that for me as well, so I tune my father out as he starts his usual rant.
No, instead of putting me off telling Darcy how I feel, he has just encouraged me instead. I really want her to know. Nothing might come of it, but at the same time, it could be the start of something wonderful. I don’t exactly want to spend my life wondering what if anyway. It’s worth a shot. I want to try.
My mind wanders off and I begin thinking about ways that I could tell her in a romantic way, let her know how special she really is to me, and only one thing keeps coming to mind. The Christmas carnival. A staple of our lives and what has brought us here. But I can’t just tell her, can I? Nor can I just kiss her since that didn’t go anywhere last time. Instead, I need to prove that I can be better this time.
But what can I do? How can I make her see that I have become the man for her now?
The gifts… that’s a big tradition in our friendship group, isn’t it? The sharing
of presents. I don’t know if anyone will be expecting anything from me this time around, but I’m going to get everyone something amazing. I didn’t shop before I came here, which might have been a mistake, but that’s okay, I can make up for it. A lot of places remain open on December 23rd for disorganized people like me, who get things last minute. And I will get something for Darcy too, something special, to show her how I feel and what sort of man I could be for her. I don’t know exactly what I will get yet but I know that my journey will take me to the jewelry store because diamonds are a girl’s best friend, aren’t they?
A cheeky smile creeps up on my lips. Yes, this is going to be the best Christmas carnival of all time. I can’t wait for it…
Chapter Eight
Darcy
December 24th
I stare at my face, picking out a bit of a smudge with my eye makeup that looks more messy than smoky, but there isn’t anything that I can do about it right now, because my best friend is working on my hair, styling it in to a ringlet up do which has some curly strands cascading down my face in a way that’s cuter than I expected.
I don’t look my best, but then I won’t ever be able to look good enough for today because I’m utterly terrified about who I’m going to see at the Christmas carnival. In fact, I’m dreading it.
“So, there we go.” Ivy grins at me, pleased with her work. “You look wonderful.”
“Thanks.” I force a smile on my face, but I don’t really feel it. “I appreciate it, Ivy.”
Now that she’s done, she sits in front of me with a glass of wine between her fingers. I have my own, but I haven’t taken a sip yet. She gives me a strange look, almost as if she’s digging deep inside of me. I shuffle uncomfortably in my seat trying not to let her see everything going on inside of me.
