by Ford, Mia
People will be interested in us of course, but they always are bothered about my love life. Once the newspapers realize that this is something real and going to last forever, they will lose interest and focus on someone with more drama in their lives. Someone who really doesn’t need the intrusion, but not me. Then, she can come with me to parties and events, red carpet things and be my partner. And that will just be our public lives. Our private lives will be even better. We can be in love and get married, start a family and live out the happy ever after that has always been coming our way. Sure, it may not look like either of us planned it when we first started hanging out when we were much younger, but that’s irrelevant. The outside doesn’t need to look as we thought, because the inside will be perfect. Me and her will find a way to be happy, no matter what is going on around us. That really doesn’t sound too difficult when I think about life with my best friend.
I snuggle into Darcy, feeling more confident and happy than I have in a very long time. This is right, this is my real love story coming to life at last. My own little movie with a meaningful story, only I get to keep the happy ever after. It will be mine forever more.
Chapter Twelve
Darcy
December 25th
What is that? There is a bright light, infecting my vison, begging for attention so loudly that it drags me from my sleep. My slightly hung over senses are screaming, because I went a bit wild at the Christmas carnival. I know that this can’t be my bedroom because I have thick black out curtains to make sure that the morning sun doesn’t disturb me like this, so I have to be somewhere else… somewhere… oh my God, I’m with Seth.
In an instant, last night comes screaming back to me, all of it in one go, culminating in the incredible kisses that we shared in the middle of the night, or perhaps in the early hours of the morning, I’m not too sure. Either way, it heats me up and chills me to the bone in equal measures. I don’t know how to feel. I’m happier than I have ever been before, overwhelmed with emotion, consumed with lust… but I’m also very scared because this is unknown territory for us. Or maybe it isn’t, it’s known but it doesn’t end well.
Admittedly, it’s a fucking incredible sensation to wake up with this man’s arms wrapped around me. To know that he’s clinging on to me like I’m the only damn thing connecting him to the world. This is something that I always wanted, there were times when I slept over here when I was younger, and I would have loved nothing more than to wake up in a hug with him, but it didn’t work out like that. Not until now.
I curl in around him and embrace the warmth, remembering the kind words that he spoke to me last night, really feeling them hard inside of my body. He basically promised that me and him will find a way to be together. I don’t know if it’s possible, but it was nice for him to say that anyway. To imagine it could be possible. I want to feel that for just a moment, to have that inside of me while he holds me.
The Christmas carnival has always been weirdly important to me and Seth for many different reasons. It built our friendship, it created our first proper romantic moment, it caused me heartache, and now it has brought him back to me. I don’t know for how long, I don’t intend to fall for any of his promises and to believe that anything can happen between us, but it feels okay to just embrace it for the moment. Before he goes and I lose him to Hollywood- and the super models all over again. Women who deserve to be in his bed these days now that he is Mr. Hollywood and not just the guy who lives next door to me.
“Seth, what are we doing here?” I whisper to him as a rhetorical question, not wanting to know the answer, nor am I expecting one. “Why do me and you always end up in a complicated mess?”
Speaking of complicated messes, it’s Christmas Day and I have to get back home before my parents find out that I’m out because that will cause unnecessary drama that I really don’t need. And that’s the exact reason why I’m not going to wake Seth up. Because I know we will end up having a deep conversation about us and our feelings. We will have to, won’t we? And I don’t have time for that. It’s Christmas morning, so I know that Seth will understand. If we do end up having this talk then we can do it later on.
I rise up from the bed as quietly as I can, trying not to disturb him, and I smooth my clothing down. Once I’m pretty sure that I look at least respectable, I smile down at Seth sleeping on the bed. While he’s sleeping like that, he’s such an uncomplicated person who I could actually see a family with. A future with.
“I will see you soon.” I lean down and kiss him lightly on the head. “Oh, Seth Bishop. You are amazing.”
I watch him for a couple more moments, just enjoying the sight of him, before I have to escape out of the window once more. I suppose I could go out the front door like an adult now, and even have a conversation with his father, but I don’t feel like it right now. This is a snatched moment from the past and we might as well keep it that way. Even if it isn’t comfortable, even if I feel a lot more ungainly now, I do it.
Why didn’t I wear shoes? I wonder as I creep back through the dewy grass. I really didn’t plan this out well, did I? It was all fun and games in the middle of the night, but now it’s a mess. I’m an idiot.
“Fuck.” My bedroom window is shut. That means my mother has been in during the morning and closed it. So, I can’t act like I have been sleeping there all night long. I need an excuse and I need one quick… like I’m a freaking kid. God damn it, I really do need to move out, don’t I? Why haven’t I done that yet?
I suck in a deep breath and lean my head against the door to listen to what sounds I can hear in there. If my mother is in a full-on rage, I will be able to hear it. Then it might be time for me to run away. I don’t know where I will go, but it won’t be here. Maybe I will head to Ivy’s place to see how she’s spending Christmas Day. Probably in a romantic embrace with Adam, not wanting to be disturbed by my problems.
No, there doesn’t seem to be anything going on in there. I don’t think there is any anger. That’s good. I mean, I’m sure there will be something… I’m not going to get away with this scot free, am I?
Despite the knowledge that I have already been caught out already, I try to creep inside anyway. I open the door open practically in silence and I try to creep through the hallway… but there she is. My mother with her hands on her hips glaring at me like I have burned her with hot coals or something.
“Where have you been?” she growls. “Out all night and you haven’t even sent a text.”
“Yeah, sorry, Mom. My phone died, so I didn’t get a chance. I stayed at Ivy’s though after the carnival.”
“You did, huh?” She cocks her head to one side as if she doesn’t believe me, which is fair because I am lying. I have always had to lie. When I was younger and I used to sleep over at Seth’s I would tell him that my mother didn’t mind because she knew that we were just friends, but in reality, she didn’t know. I got good at hiding myself. But even if I had to lie then, I shouldn’t have to now at twenty six. Yet, I do. I don’t give up the lying because it makes my existence easier. “You slept over at Ivy’s place on Christmas Eve?”
This makes me want to blurt out and yell, to tell her that no, actually I have been up all night having wild sex… having a three some, having an orgy, anything to really shock her, but I don’t. It isn’t worth it. It will just cause a riff to go on for the rest of my life and I don’t want that. Even if I move out, it isn’t something that I want to do on bad terms. I just want it to be a normal, family relationship.
“I did, Mom. She doesn’t have kids or any family to see on Christmas Day, so it wasn’t a problem.”
“Well it’s a problem for me. I want to know where you are on Christmas Day. I haven’t even started Christmas dinner because I have been so worried about you. And I should be, shouldn’t I? Because look at the state of you. Look at you all messy and in your clothing from last night. No shoes as well. Where are your shoes?”
“I left them at Ivy’s because they were h
urting my feet.” Not my best improvisation, but it’s out there now so I don’t really have any choice but to go with it. “I was getting a cab, so it seemed like the best way…”
“Your life decisions are terrible.” Mom tuts and shakes her head at me. “I can’t even imagine what is going on inside your head right now. It’s ridiculous. I don’t recognize you at the moment. You are not my daughter, I feel like I’m losing you.”
I can almost see the moment that her eyes clock the diamond necklace, and I immediately regret not taking it off. There is no way she is going to let this one go. She’s going to drive this forever.
“What the hell is that? Is it costume jewelry or something? It looks terrible on you.”
That stings. It hurts my heart, but I try my hardest not to let it show. “It’s real, Mom. Real diamonds.”
“And who the hell did you steal that from, because there is no way that your make up line bought it for you. It isn’t doing anything, is it?” She sneers nastily. “So, what the hell happened? I need an explanation.”
I struggle to keep my curse words inside as I decide to go for the truth with this one. “Seth Bishop, you know the boy from next door who went to star in all of those movies, he got it for me.”
“He’s back?” Instead of taking this as something nice, Mom glowers at me. I thought that she might be accepting of the boy who used to be my friend, but even this seems to be a dig at me. “Since when?”
“A few days ago.” I shrug my shoulders in a blasé manner. “But I’m sure that it won’t be forever.”
“It better not be. I don’t want to deal with his sort around here.”
“His sort?” Good Lord, what the fuck is she talking about now. “What the hell does that mean? Seth has always lived next door to us, even from the very first moment that we moved in, and you never seemed to have an issue then. So, why would you all of a sudden say that about him? It isn’t right.”
“Because he isn’t the same person anymore.” Why does everyone keep telling me that? When I’m with him he doesn’t seem any different to me. “He’s a disgusting piece of trash now. Like all the other celebrities. He picks up women and drops them, as soon as he can without looking back at all.”
I really want to make a sarcastic comment about being more into celebrity gossip that she has ever let on, but I am already exhausted with this conversation. Maybe I should take everyone telling me that Seth has changed as a warning and keep away from him, but all I can really think about is digging my heels in the sand because I’m the only one who can really see him. It makes me want to cling on to him more, to keep him as my own. It might not be the smartest move that I have ever made in life, but that doesn’t make it the wrong one.
“Mom,” I sigh loudly. “I don’t want to fight on Christmas Day, so can we just forget about this please? I will have a shower, then we can have a nice time together, okay?”
She doesn’t look convinced, but at least she nods and agrees with me. That’s something.
Chapter Thirteen
Seth
December 26th
A sober Christmas Day with my father isn’t how I was expecting to spend it, but it was amazing. We had a really great time chatting and eating, having fun and reminiscing. We even watched some old family movies of when I was a kid, and we laughed over our old shared memories. It was great, I loved it. It made me feel even better about my decision to come back home. I now definitely will come back every single year.
But now Christmas Day is over, and I’m pretty restless. It isn’t that I’m unhappy here, I just need something or someone, a bit more. I’m missing Darcy like crazy and I can’t wait to see her again. I guess she snuck out in the early hours of the morning because of Christmas Day, and now I’m done with us being apart. She’s only next door, it won’t take long for me to get over to see her, which is exactly what I’m going to do. Communication was my problem in the past, and I’m not going to let that happen again.
“Do you need anything from in town?” I ask Dad idly as I walk towards the door. “I’m headed out.”
“Just for a walk out by yourself?” He cocks a knowing eyebrow at me. “Or is there something that I should know? Because I am pretty sure that I heard some voices last night. And more than just yours.”
A secret smile creeps up on to my face, I can’t hide anything from my father when I’m so damn happy. I already know about his opinions when it comes to love and Darcy, but that isn’t going to change my opinion of her and how incredible all of this is. She makes me feel amazing and I want more.
“I don’t have anything particularly planned,” I say in the most innocent voice that I can imagine. “I just thought that it might be a nice day for me to go for a walk. See the town, get to know the area again.”
“Oh yeah? You forgot, did you? I know that it’s been a long time, but really?”
“Alright, Dad, you already know what I’m up to.” I roll my eyes and chuckle. “But I really am going into town so if you want anything, let me know. I can grab whatever you need.”
He shakes his head hard to let me that he doesn’t, which is good because if I’m around Darcy then I will likely forget. She has this way of completely distracting me from whatever I need to do. I don’t know if it’s that gorgeous smile of hers or the way that her eyes twinkle whenever she talks, but I can’t think straight around her. The fact that we have now kissed, and we seem to be going somewhere just makes it that much harder. I know that I will be thinking of her lips at every second of the whole day, wondering if it can happen again.
Eventually, I head out and I cross the garden in the way that I have done a million times before, and I stand outside Darcy’s door. Excitement courses through my veins as I lift up my fist to knock. All I can think about is her face and how happy she will be when she sees me… at least, I hope she will.
“Oh.” The door swings open and I find myself faced with someone who I wasn’t prepared to see, certainly not with that expression on her face anyway. I thought that me and Mrs. McNeill were on good terms but she’s looking at me like she hates me. “Seth. I heard that you were back in town. What do you want?”
“Er…” My eyebrows furrow in confusion. Now that was just rude. I don’t know how to take it. What should I say to respond? “I was wondering if Darcy was in? I would love to speak to her.”
“What about that ridiculous over the top necklace you bought her? What was that about?”
“I’m just… trying to be nice.” I want to call her out on this, but it doesn’t feel like the right thing to do.
“I know what men like you are nice for, and I don’t think that’s right for my daughter.”
Right, okay, now she’s trying to suggest something that I understand. It seems like Mrs. McNeill has seen all of the media reports about me and she’s decided to fixate on the idea that I am the bad boy that the media wants me to be. It’s a shame that someone who has known me for so many years, could change her mind about me so quickly. She knows who I used to be, she was around me, how can she just assume…?
This is why no one else can see the truth. If I cant trust people I know, why would anyone trust me? It’s a shame, but I’m hoping that at least Darcy will know the truth about me, and we can work from there. She is the one person whose opinion I actually care about, and she seems to believe in me. Which is why I am standing here and taking her mom’s words on the chin because I am hoping that it will lead me to Darcy finally coming to the door and seeing me. Because right now, I need her.
“Well, I think that Darcy is an adult now, and I would like to speak to her if possible.”
Mrs. McNeill stares at me defiantly, but she soon sees that I’m not going anywhere, and she turns on her heels and stalks to get her daughter. I might have to talk to Darcy about this, to check that her opinion isn’t being swayed by other people, because that is the last thing in the world that I want.
Please still like me, I pray while I tap my foot on the floor, waiting
for her to come. Please, Darcy.
Relief floods me as Darcy bounces to the door, smiling happily, looking at me like she isn’t filled with hatred which is a good thing. I should have known that she wouldn’t be swayed because she isn’t that sort of person.
“Hey there, Seth. How are you today?” She leans against the door frame and winks. “Did you have fun with my mother? Because she is in such a pleasant mood at the moment. A real joy.”
As she rolls her eyes, my eyes slide down her body until I see the necklace still around her neck. Even if her mother has been a bitch about the diamonds, Darcy is still wearing them, which make me feel amazing.
“Oh well, yeah, I mean she gave me a bit of a hard time, but it’s okay. I’m alright.”
“Oh God,” Darcy groans. “That means that she was horrendous to you. Sorry about that. Did she say anything too terrible? Actually, I don’t know if I want to know. The things that she has been saying to me…”
I want to ask her what she’s been told by her mother, but then I don’t really want to stand here and compare notes of nastiness. It’s boxing day and I just want to have a nice positive day with this woman, I want to forget all about Mrs. McNeill and her attitude. It hurts but I don’t need to worry about it.
“Look, I just came to see if you want to go out for lunch or something. It doesn’t matter that she wants to be a bitch to me.” I offer her a one shouldered shrug. “It’s up to you. If you have something else on, I totally understand, I just thought that it would be nice. Fun, even. You never know.”
