Damnable Grace

by Tillie Cole

  Her chest rose and fell in quick movements. When she reached me, hand covering her mouth, she sank to her knees to rest at my feet. I looked at Meister; he was still occupied. Viking and Cowboy were watching carefully with fucking confused expressions. Their hands were on their guns, ready for any shit that went down.

  And then I looked back at Phebe. I stared into her blue eyes. They were still drugged to high heaven. Still unfocused and glassy. Yet, as she knelt at my feet, her tears thick and her breathing labored, I could see right through them.

  They were fucking begging me for help.

  “Is . . . is she safe?” she slurred, her once-pretty face contorting in pain as she lurched forward, like that pain was stabbing her straight in the stomach. My eyebrows drew together at her question. Phebe managed to raise her head and place her hand over her heart. “Is she safe? I didn’t save her . . . but is she safe? I want her to be safe.”

  I swallowed, checking to see that Meister was still deep in conversation with Himmler. I thanked Hades that he was, because I desperately wanted to talk to the bitch, but I had to play this shit right. Phebe shuffled forward until her tits were at my knees. I tensed as she searched my face. Then, with careful, gentle movements, she reached forward, her blistered fingertips reaching for my face.

  I was frozen as her fingertips grazed my cheeks and ran down my thick stubble. Her eyelids were fighting to stay open, no doubt being pulled down by the drugs. Her hair was sticking to her slick skin. Worst of all, Meister’s cum was running down between her thighs. I could smell the stink of sex coming off her in waves. Yet I still couldn’t breathe as her soft hands touched my face, as those fucking blue, dazed eyes studied me. Then, her eyebrows rose and a smile spread on her lips, and it fucking slaughtered me. The bitch had just been raped, degraded in front of a crowd, and no doubt recently beaten by Meister, yet here she was on her knees at my feet, touching my face, and fucking smiling.

  I almost pulled out my gun and shot every fucker in here, just for the chance to get her out of this shithole right the fuck now.

  “You,” she said again, a new lightness in her voice. Her fingers ran over my lips, then up, stopping at my eyes. Her hand curled, framing my eyes, and she released a long, happy sigh. “The one with the kind eyes,” she murmured. Her head tilted to the side like an innocent child. “You would not kill me. I deserved to die, but you would not kill me . . . because you had kind eyes. A devil’s man with angel eyes.”

  I remembered that fucking night at the commune again. Remembered this bitch stroking Li’s hair and calling her Rebekah. Fucking crying. Fucking breaking. My chest cracked, and I swallowed the lump in my throat . . . the way she looked at Li. I . . . I knew how that felt.

  That’s why I couldn’t kill the bitch.

  She . . . in that moment, she was me. Me on that fucking day that never left my head.

  “The tree.” Phebe’s voice pulled me from my head. I shifted on my seat as she pulled back her hands and held them together in the way I’d tied them.

  “A devil’s man with angel eyes,” she repeated and began to sob. “Here for me again. To rescue me from hell? To take us . . . ? To make us safe?” She said the sentences as though they were questions; her blue eyes were begging for me to take her from this town, from Meister. Fuck, the way she was looking at me, beseeching, begging . . . the bitch was asking me to put her out of her misery.

  Looking just like him. Like—

  “What the fuck? Whore!”

  My head snapped up as Meister stormed across the room. I braced, ready for the fight. Meister’s hand gripped Phebe’s hair and yanked her to her feet. Phebe cried out as she stumbled to stand. Then, when she was straight, Meister spun her to face him and sliced a backhand across her face. I had to use everything I had not to fucking charge. But when I looked around, every guard was on edge, hands on guns. None of us would get out alive if we tried.

  We had to fucking wait.

  Phebe began crying, sobbing as she lifted her head. Blood ran thick and fast from her lip. Her eyes flooded with tears, yet even after the hard blow Meister dealt, her dazed eyes still sought out mine. And fuck me, but they softened. Like I was making everything better just by being here.

  I couldn’t deal with that look.

  “Whore!” Meister snarled as pulled her close to his face. “It seems as though you haven’t learned your lesson just yet, slut.” He shook her violently, her head lolling back and forth. “Then I’ll have to fucking try harder.”

  Meister turned toward the door, the entire saloon looking on in expectant silence. As he passed me, he looked down and said, “This bitch was a trained whore. Opened her legs for anything that moved. I’m retraining her to be a Klan wife.” As if his own words incensed him, he swiped out and hit her again, her head jerking sideward. “But this slut is hard to break.” He dragged Phebe out of the bar, and before the door closed behind them, I saw him turn left. Toward the dentist shack.

  I pulled out my smokes, lit one and took a long inhale. Himmler was watching me with suspicious eyes, so I acted calm on the outside, even though in my head I was imagining slitting the throat of every last fucker in the entire place. Over the next ten minutes I finished off my beer, took another shot, then got to my feet.

  Vike and Cowboy followed me out of the saloon and across the road to the dorms. Vike moved in close to speak, but I hissed, “Not yet. Himmler will be watching from the bar.”

  “How the fuck do you know that?”

  “Trust me,” I said as we entered the dorms, keeping the lights off. The minute we hit the hallway, I sneaked a look across the street.

  “Shit,” Cowboy said. “Fucker’s right there, staring after us.”

  “He suspects us.” I led them into Flame’s room. The brother was pacing back and forth. I ignored him and locked the door. “We get her out tomorrow,” I said quietly. “If Meister doesn’t kill her tonight first. Himmler’s gonna start digging if we don’t. That fucker smells that we ain’t pure.”

  I flicked my chin at Cowboy. “Call Hush. Tell him we’re putting a plan together and he needs to be ready to go when I say.”

  Cowboy pulled his cell from his pocket. He spoke quietly to Hush, then gave a thumbs up and ended the call. “He’s ready.”

  Pacing too, I ran my hand through my hair. “Tomorrow night, after dark.” Vike and Cowboy nodded. Flame was too fucking lost in his own world to hear. I outlined my plan, and my brothers listened carefully. We all agreed—this was how this shit was gonna go down.

  The room was quiet. Vike gave me a weird look. “Ain’t sure that bitch can be saved, brother. I ain’t ever seen shit like that before. He’s one fucked-up cunt.”

  I closed my eyes and tried not to let the thought of Phebe, of my fucking past, rip me to shreds. I counted to ten in my head. “You might be right.” I slumped to the edge of the bed and looked at Flame, proof that even the most fucked-up souls could be salvaged, somewhat. “But I’ll fucking die trying.”

  “Always the damn hero,” Viking said humorlessly.

  Hero? Fucking far from it. Just didn’t have it in me to watch one more person die under someone else’s hand.

  So I’d take on Meister and his Klansmen tomorrow night.

  We’d deal with the rest after that.

  Even if she was already completely fucked.

  Chapter Five

  Phebe

  The street rushed past me. I struggled to open my eyes. So I gave in to the dark. I gave in to the dark and let a pair of kind eyes watch over me. An angel disguised as a devil.

  A door opened. Then it closed. I was pushed onto a surface that I recognized. My legs were parted. A needle pricked my arm. Then liquid light passed through my veins as I felt my cheek being struck and my core being savaged.

  But I did not care.

  I blinked in the soft glow of the warm sun. When I viewed my surroundings, I smiled. I was back in the forest. The breeze was cool, running through my hair. I sat on the grass, my hands
running through the soft blades. I closed my eyes, simply relaxing, then I felt the air disturb around me. Someone sat down by my side. Opening my eyes, I looked to my right. I smiled wider, inhaling the comforting scent of leather.

  “You?” I said on a happy sigh.

  The devil with angel eyes nodded his head and rested his arms on his bent knees. “Me,” he said, and the corner of his mouth kicked up at the sides. I studied his features. I studied his long brown hair, a few strands seeming almost caramel in color when they caught the sun. His skin was tanned, his body tall and muscular. But his eyes were my favorite. So deep a brown I could lose myself in their depths for days.

  He pointed around the forest. “You like this place?”

  I followed his hand. Looked up at the high trees, heard the flowing river beyond the clearing. “It is where I come to leave it all behind. This—” I inhaled the fragrant air. “—this is my heaven.”

  He turned to me, searching for something in my face. He did not speak, so I did. “You are here for me?” I asked, my breath held in hope.

  “Gonna get you out,” he rasped, and I saw the conviction of his promise in his eyes.

  Tension left my body, and I had the feeling that I was floating. A hand covering mine suddenly became my anchor. Body back on the soft grass, I stared down at his tattooed hand resting atop mine. I fought back the tears that were pricking my eyes at his gentle touch.

  This man was gentle and kind. He was . . . “An angel,” I whispered and lifted my eyes to meet his. “You are my angel,” I said. His lips parted. They were full, kind lips. “You are an angel here to save me. You spared my life once before, and you have returned to do so again.”

  Seconds stretched, only the sound of the flowing water to be heard. Then, “Yeah.” He gripped my fingers tightly. “I’m here to get you, Phebe. To take you from this hell. You just gotta hold on for tonight. Just fucking hold on.”

  “Very well,” I said. I held on to the angel’s hand when he tried to pull it away. The angel frowned at me in confusion. “Tonight may be hard,” I said and felt the echo of pain being brought to my body in some other place. Squeezing tighter, I asked, “Could you stay with me through this? Just for tonight? I . . . I may need you . . .”

  The angel’s eyes softened, and he nodded his head. “Always,” he said and shifted closer to me. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. A foreign sense of safety engulfed me in its warmth. “Just fucking hold on, yeah? Just for tonight.”

  I breathed.

  I smiled.

  It was exactly what I intended to do.

  Chapter Six

  AK

  I sat on the edge of the mattress in the barber shack, counting down the minutes. My leg bounced as the bitch behind me made quiet noises of pain. I blocked her out. I had only one mission tonight.

  And we were seconds from it going down.

  I checked my watch.

  Then . . .

  A bell sounded. My heart fired like an Uzi. I clutched my gun and peered through the barred window. Guards and men ran from their shacks and barns. A gunshot rang out, and I looked to the main exit.

  I fucking froze.

  “Hush,” I hissed. What the fuck was the suicidal fucker doing?

  Arms spread wide, he shouted in his thick Cajun accent, “My mama’s white and my papa is black. I’m your worst fucking nightmare, so why don’t y’all come get me and my massive interracial cock!”

  The asshole took off running. Guns fired, and men ran after Hush. I saw guard after guard abandon his post, like good little Klansmen after a black. When the guard opposite the dentist shack took off, there was a rap on my door. Vike was there, ushering me outside.

  “He went with them,” Vike said.

  Meister. The fucker had taken the bait.

  Flame came running from the back of the shack and dove on a redneck that had been late in stopping his fucking. He sliced the cunt’s throat and slit stripes down his femoral artery. The asshole fell. Vike pushed me forward. “Get her. We got minutes. We’ll get anyone that’s left behind.”

  I darted to the next-door shack and peered through the window. I struggled to see through the thick layer of dust and dirt. But someone was in there, lying deathly still in a chair. I slammed my shoulder into the door, the old wood folding immediately. I rushed inside the small room and stopped dead. Phebe slumped, beaten to a pulp, on an old-fashioned dentist chair. She was naked, and the blood was fresh. An IV of heroin or some shit was attached to her arm.

  I ripped out the needle, ignoring the small spray of blood that followed, and scooped Phebe up in my arms. She released a low moan but didn’t wake. She weighed practically nothing. As I left the shack I saw five bodies in the middle of the road.

  “Think we got ’em,” Vike said as Cowboy and Flame came to stand beside me.

  Phebe moaned in my arms. “Fucking state,” Cowboy said as he looked at Phebe’s body. Bitch was naked, and I had nothing with me to cover her up. I eyeballed Cowboy until he looked away.

  “Tree line, up ahead, that’s where he left the van,” I said and started moving. I had barely made it three steps before I heard a gun click and several sets of feet crunch on the rough ground. I froze and snapped my head to the right.

  Fucking Himmler, along with two assholes with guns aimed right at our heads.

  “Knew there was something up with you cunts the minute you walked in this place,” Himmler said, tightening his hold on his gun. Flame and Cowboy stiffened beside me. I gripped Phebe tighter in my arms. Himmler’s eyes fell on Red. “Meister ain’t gonna take kindly to you trying to steal his slut, fucker. He won’t give a fuck if you were a sniper or can kill from yards away.” He stepped closer, and closer still, until the barrel of his gun pressed against my forehead. He smiled, and I braced to strike. His head cocked to the side. “Why’re you here? You ain’t Klan or AB. If you were, you’d be joining the cause, not stealing from it.”

  “Black-lovers dot com,” Vike said from behind me. “Might have heard of us. Whites who just love fucking blacks. Pussy, cock, you name it. We’re all over that chocolate shit.”

  Himmler snarled at Vike’s lame-ass joke, but it gave me the split second I needed to attack. I slammed my hand on the barrel of Himmler’s gun, knocking it from my head. I dropped down and laid Phebe on the ground as Vike, Flame and Cowboy jumped on the other pricks. Guns went off, sounding like fucking thunder in the empty ghost town.

  I pushed Himmler back, and we fell to the ground. The fucker fought me for the gun. But I held on and slammed my forehead against his. Himmler cried out. I heard the gargled sound of someone choking on blood. I looked to the side to see Flame straddling one of the men, his chest covered in blood, his knives slinging into the Klansmen’s flesh.

  A blow hit my mouth, drawing blood from my lip, and I saw red. I dropped my fist and plowed it into Himmler’s face. Wrenching the gun from his hand, I swerved the piece with one smooth movement and pressed it against his throat. The fucker met my eyes, and I smiled. I smiled as I sent a bullet through his skull, splattering his brains on this fucking messed-up ground.

  I shot again, through his chin this time, watching the asshole’s jaw blow off. I thought of Phebe and the other sluts in this place and shot again, and again, lost in the sea of blood, until someone pulled me back and I hit the ground. I aimed the gun at whoever it was, and saw Cowboy stand back with his hands in the air. “You got him. ’K. And we gotta fucking go. Now. Those shots will have the rest of these fuckers back in seconds.”

  Shaking my head back to the here and now, I threw the gun to the ground and scrambled for Phebe. Her naked body was spattered with blood. I lifted her up and looked at my brothers. Flame’s face was awash with blood, and his black eyes were crazed.

  “Move, now.” I ordered. We left the hacked-up fuckers on the ground and fled into the trees.

  Not stopping for my brothers, knowing they’d follow, I aimed for the path that ran toward the road. Branches and twigs
smacked at my face as we ran.

  Ten minutes later, we arrived at the van Hush had left for us. Vike and Flame jumped into the cabin and hit the engine. I got in the back, as did Cowboy.

  “Where the fuck is he?” Cowboy asked in panic, his eyes scanning the abandoned back road.

  “More like what the fuck was he thinking?” I snapped, thinking of Hush taking all those fuckers head on.

  Asshole.

  Cowboy balled his fist and punched the side of the van. Phebe flinched in my arms. At least she wasn’t so far gone on drugs she couldn’t react to shit. Maybe she’d be okay. At least physically. I grabbed the blanket that was in the back of the van and wrapped it around her naked body. Phebe moaned again, and her eyes rolled, but she still didn’t wake up. Christ knows what cocktail Meister had had her on.

  “There!” Vike’s voice shouted from the cabin. I looked out of the open doors and saw Hush sprinting toward us. The fucker was lucky he was fast. He signaled for us to start moving. Cowboy hung from the back and clutched Hush’s hand, pulling him inside. They slammed the doors behind him, and we sped off. I kept my gun in my hand, just in case.

  “What the fuck was that?” Cowboy snapped. He hovered over Hush, fucking pissed.

  “What?” Hush snapped back, his expression darkening.

  “The massive-interracial-cock taunt, you asshole. You were meant to set off an explosive, not offer yourself up for a fucking lynching,” I bit out.

  Hush ignored me and bored holes into Cowboy’s face. “You think after all those Klan fuckers have done to me, to my family, that I was just gonna distract them with an explosive? Fuck that shit. I wanted those fuckers to see my impure ass. I wanted them to seethe.”