London Soul

by Nana Malone

  "I thought that was you.” Taking no notice of my partner, he wrapped his arms around me, despite my frozen stiffness. Then he backed off. "Jolly long time. Where's Easton? I thought he couldn't make it."

  I swallowed hard. "Easton and I broke up, James."

  James's face fell. "Oh, why? What did my cousin do?"

  "It's not important. This is my—" Shit. I had no idea how to introduce Alexi.

  But he stepped in easily. "Alexi Chase. I'm Abbie's date for the night."

  James shook his hand but looked askance at him with a raised brow and a half-smile on his lips. "You brought this oburoni to a Ghanaian wedding?"

  I lifted my chin. "He's my boyfriend."

  Well, there it was.

  James blinked. "He’s your new boyfriend? And Easton has nothing to say about this?"

  "Well, considering we broke up, no, not really. Now, if you'll excuse us.” I didn't wait for a response. I just turned around, took Alexi's hand and marched him out into the hall. I just needed to get away. I needed air. I needed to breathe.

  I knew I shouldn't have said boyfriend, but I wasn't going to let James insult him. Oburoni wasn't a bad term. All it meant was white person. But the inflection that James had added to it meant he didn’t think Alexi belonged there. Didn't belong with me.

  I had to get out of the crowd. I started walking and didn’t stop until we neared the balcony. When we were finally out of the throng of people, I stopped and tried to catch my breath.

  Alexi homed in on what was wrong right away. "Hey, I'm here. You can breathe. It's okay."

  "I just need air. I just—"

  He took my hand and tugged me out onto the balcony. "Hey, here we go. Nice and easy. Breathe. What's going on?"

  I dragged in two deep breaths. "I didn't expect to see anyone who knew us both, you know? And that assumption that, of course, I would be with Easton just pissed me off, I guess. And I don't know... I just can't breathe."

  He ran his hands up and down over my arms. "Easy does it. You want to tell me what oburoni means?"

  "It just means white guy, or a white person."

  "Well, I am white. Actually, I don't like white. I prefer melanin challenged."

  And with that, I snorted a laugh. "How do you do that? Just dissipate whatever I'm feeling and make me feel better."

  "I don't know. I know you. I care about you. I—" He stopped abruptly.

  I watched him closely. He was going to say something else. "Yeah?"

  He shook his head. "I care about you, so I'm in tune to what's going on with you. I also know how to make you laugh. That's going to happen a lot, Abbie. You're going to see people from your past at some point, and they're going to remind you that you're not with him anymore. Are you okay with that?"

  "I don't know. It's the first time that’s happened. I just feel scared. It’s like the panic of just knowing that he might find out I was out with someone other than him and what it could mean."

  "I get that. But you don't have to be afraid. I'm here. And even if I wasn't, you're strong. I'm quite certain you don't even need me."

  I shook my head. "I do."

  He shook his head to argue with me. "No. I like to think that you want me here. But you don't need me. You are stronger than you even know. That scared girl who Easton tormented? She's gone. He can't hurt you anymore. And that's your doing, not mine. I just happen to be able to reap the benefits of you learning the power of your own strength. I'm pretty sure I would have liked you either way, but I particularly like this version of you. You were brave enough to get out. Brave enough to move halfway across the world, brave enough to tell him to go fuck off. You're strong. I watched you stand up to the worst kind of bully in defense of someone else. You're stronger than you knew you were."

  "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

  He brushed a thumb over my cheek. "You are just being beautiful and fantastic. I'm the lucky one. I stumbled on to you and I'm just trying to keep up and be the best version of me so you don't realize that I'm the lucky one and ditch me."

  "Something tells me I won't be ditching you for a very, very long time, Mr. Chase."

  "Oh, I'm depending on that."

  Chapter Eight

  Alexi

  Wine, check. Pasta, check. I had everything I needed. I was going to make her dinner tonight.

  And you're totally smitten.

  She was right. Things had moved quickly, and she needed time. So I was determined to give her as much time as possible. Time to be exactly what she needed me to be. I could see how I’d freaked her out. I could do this though.

  I gathered the makings for dinner outside of my car and then juggled the bags as I headed toward the barge. I stepped up to find my neighbor, Killian, waving at me. "All right, mate?"

  I smiled up at him. "When did you get back?"

  "Just this morning. I thought I saw your lights on, so I popped by to say hello, but you weren't there."

  Killian and I had been neighbors for a couple of years now. Every now and again, he'd leave out for parts unknown before eventually coming back. He was a good bloke. And we'd had more than a glass of wine to celebrate our adventures before.

  "Nope, I haven't been home. I'm making dinner for someone special tonight."

  "Oh, you pretty boys."

  I laughed. Killian was around thirty-five, maybe a little older. Wiser. He'd been in love once, but apparently that hadn't gone well, so he’d retreated to his barge. And every time I saw him, I'd come by and visit. Sometimes I figured he might be lonely, but then he'd be off once again to parts unknown, traveling. God, I hoped that wasn't me one day. I hoped to have some people in my life who forced themselves and their company on me at some point.

  "Oh, to be young and in love. Maybe one of these days you’ll bring your lady on by to meet me."

  "Sure, we could have dinner. Wine. We can work it out before the weather gets too bad."

  "Got to love all of this sunshine. I feel like we're dooming ourselves for the winter."

  "All right, mate. Well, let me get inside. I need to cook."

  He nodded. "Go on then."

  I fumbled my keys into the lock only to find that the door was slightly ajar. I frowned.

  What the hell?

  I kicked open the door. Was it possible I hadn't shut it firmly behind me? Anything was possible. I put the bags down and hung up my coat and then pushed the door into the main space. It was the only way to keep the heat trapped in. When I shoved open the secondary door, I frowned. Son of a bitch. Killian had seen the light on, all right. Because someone had fucking ransacked the place. It was a complete mess. My couch had been slashed. Family photos yanked off the wall. Glass shattered on the ground.

  I knew the smart thing was to back up, get back to the car, and call the police. But I couldn't help myself. I started a slow perusal. Someone had been there. What were they looking for? Step by step, I cautiously looked around the living room and dining area.

  When I first bought the barge, I'd expanded the kitchen. I turned the entire bottom floor into an open concept. Had the whole barge refitted. Now, there were slash marks on my cabinets.

  Son of a bitch.

  I didn't know if anything was gone. I’d had my laptop in the car with me, as I'd come straight from work. I eased toward the bedroom, listening, but there was nothing. No sound. No indication of an intruder.

  There was a backdoor to the barge. Really, it led from the bedrooms on to what I call sort of a patio, my little garden area. Someone could have easily escaped out the back without Killian ever seeing them.

  The beds were tossed, pillows slashed, and there were feathers everywhere. Fuck.

  The first thing I did was call Abbie. I didn't need her seeing this. When she answered on the first ring, she had a smile in her voice. "Hey, I was just going to head out in a little bit. I was going to shower first. What do you want me to bring?"

  My stomach coiled and knotted when she spoke. "Yeah, actually, there’s been a
change of plans. I'm going to take you out to dinner instead."

  She paused. "Everything okay?"

  "Yeah, I thought maybe we'd go out and then head to Max’s place. It is technically movie night."

  "Uh, I thought we'd be having a date night."

  Fuck. She wanted alone time, which I very much did, too. But I couldn't have her here now. “Let’s meet there, and we can decide on the plan.”

  "Sure. Yeah, let me just, uh, quickly shower and throw on some jeans and stuff."

  I swallowed hard. “Okay, I’ll meet you at Max’s.”

  "Yeah. Are you okay? You sound weird."

  "Yeah, I'm fine. Just, you know, a lot on my mind. I'll see you soon."

  "Okay."

  The police were my next call. I wouldn't be sticking around to deal with them, though. I had security for that, and they were who I called next. They'd come down and run through this situation with the police. I didn't have time for that. I needed to see Abbie. I knew it was ridiculous, but I wanted to make sure she was okay.

  Ease up. You're going to smother her to death.

  I knew I was overdoing it. She’d as much as said so the other night. I just couldn't help it. But what if I’d brought her home and someone had stepped out in there?

  Fuck.

  After the call to security, I immediately made calls to Jean Claude and Xander too. I told my brother to watch his back and checked in with Jean Claude to make sure he didn't know anything about this. He denied it, of course, but it was worth a shot.

  Even as I left my barge, a prickle of unease tripped over my skin. I glanced around but saw nothing untoward. Killian was still on his deck. "All right, mate?"

  I nodded. "Yeah. Actually, since you're here, I have security coming down. They're going to meet the police."

  Killian frowned. "Why?”

  "Well, it seems someone broke in. That must have been the light you saw."

  He groaned. "Oh, mate, sorry. I didn't know. I only pulled in about an hour ago."

  "No big deal. It's just things, right?"

  "Well, thank God you weren't home or didn’t have your lady-friend over."

  "Yeah. Thank God. Um, so that's what's up if anyone asks questions."

  'Right. I got you. Did they take anything?"

  "I didn't even check. Nothing important."

  "Right. As long as you have your life. That's all that matters."

  Yeah, the problem was that I couldn’t be sure if someone was trying to fuck with it or take it.

  Abbie…

  I quickly tied my braids up. I was a little disappointed we weren't going to be at Alexi's. It was unusual for him to change plans on me. He’d sounded off. Which only made me worry that something was wrong and he didn’t want me to know.

  Stop being paranoid.

  What would Dr. Kaufman say? I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't Easton. And while he was all the things I’d been pretty sure I didn't want, he was also kind and sweet and generous.

  It was fine. We’d go eat, and then we'd hang out with Sophie and everyone. I didn't want to be one of those girls who had a new boyfriend and then vanished on her friends. So, I could do this. Hang with the crew, even though I was desperate to spend some time with him. I knew I'd been the one to say that I wanted to take things slow, but we hadn’t made love since the night after the garden party. We’d kissed, but not much else. And he was respecting my wishes, I knew, but damn, I liked him touching me.

  What terrified me was how easy it was to get drawn into his orbit. His charisma, his charm, that gravitational pull, the feeling that he was who I belonged with, that was the scary part. Because it would be easy to lose myself again. Easy for him to hurt me.

  He's not Easton.

  With a deep breath and a shake of my head, I grabbed my overnight bag, just in case, and headed down the stairs of the flat. When I pushed open the door, a bite of wind slid into my scarf, chilling me to the bone.

  Dammit. I supposed the bout of good weather we’d been enjoying was about to be over.

  I pulled out my phone to see the best route. I could just take the bus. Or I could call for a car to take me door to door. Or I could take the tube, which would be saving money. Because I still didn't have a damn job.

  Or I could just take ease and comfort.

  No, I would take the tube. The tube station was just a little over a quarter of a mile away. It was fine.

  Mrs. Combs, our next-door neighbor to the right, smiled and waved at me. "Good evening, love."

  "Hello, Mrs. Combs. How are you?"

  "Oh, you know, just a little pain in my back. It's best if I get some exercise."

  She walked around her small garden, picking her vegetables. I’d never even pictured myself having a neighbor like her. One I could chat to, who would have invited me in for tea. But here I was with a lovely elderly neighbor whose name I knew and who knew mine but instead preferred to call me love. I was becoming a proper Brit.

  It had drizzled earlier, but the rain had stopped. But as the cars whizzed by on Grove Park Gardens, the tires all made splashing sounds as they drove through puddles.

  As per usual, I put in one of my earbuds, leaving the other open so I could hear my surroundings. No point in being stupid just because I wanted to listen to some good music.

  As I walked, a tingle ran up my spine and I looked around. It was that same feeling I'd had in Notting Hill the day I ran into Xander. What was wrong with me?

  Besides an abusive ex, nothing. Yeah, but he was in my rear view. And in this new life, I didn't have to be afraid of everything.

  Something told me I'd be telling myself that for a long time to come.

  The further I walked, the worse the feeling got. It raised the hair on my arms. I could feel the impending panic attack. My heart rate increased. My breathing was shallower with every step, as if my body was trying to force me to stop, turn back around, and run inside.

  The tube wasn't that far away. I could do this. Or maybe I should just give up and call a car.

  No, you're not going to call a car. You don't have the money.

  And I was being silly. One lap around the track. That's as far as I had to go.

  Plus, I didn't want to have to explain to Mrs. Combs why I was running back to my flat and locking the door behind me.

  Suck it up, let's go.

  I forced my feet to march.

  Up ahead, a car idled. I was trying to figure out if I recognized it or not, but there were so many houses on the road, some mansions, some cottages that had been split into flats like the one Faith and I lived in. There was no way of telling what was familiar and what wasn't.

  But still, as I approached the car, my heart squeezed. My gut knotted. Whatever lizard part of my brain still existed, screamed, Run. Go back. Go back now.

  But I couldn't run. My feet were rooted to the ground. I was stuck. Frozen. The driver's side door opened, and I stopped breathing. Long legs. Strong pair of arms. Trim body. Tall. Smooth, dark brown skin. Perfectly trimmed beard. My breathing came in shallow puffs. "Easton?"

  To my own ears, my voice sounded wary and tremulous, like I could cry at any moment. When I blinked rapidly, the moisture told me tears were already on the verge of spilling over.

  His face was impassive. "Do you know how hard I had to look for you?"

  Run. Move. Scream. Anything. Just do anything.

  But I couldn't do any of those things. I was stuck. Stuck in my life. Stuck on the street. I couldn't move forward, but I refused to move backward.

  I had no weapons, nothing but my body, toiletries for the night and my phone. I forced myself to speak. "What are you doing here?"

  "I'm here to take you home. This little adventure… It's over."

  I shook my head. "No, I'm not going with you."

  His brow furrowed. "Listen. I'm done fighting with you. I've given you your space. You don't like it that I took your passport? Fine. You'll get over it. But you're coming home. I've had enough."
<
br />   "I'm not going anywhere with you."

  His lips set into a firm line as he glanced around. "Abena, don't make a scene. Get in the fucking car."

  I shook my head. "No.” And then came a surge of strength. My phone buzzed in my hand, and I glanced down. There was a text from Alexi. Are you sure you want to take the tube? I can just come pick you up.

  At that moment, I understood what Dr. Kaufman had been trying to tell me. While Alexi might be possessive, and while he might overreact and call the police when I didn't turn up, he wasn't this man in front of me. This man wanted to smother me. This man wanted to hurt me. This man wanted to own me, and while Alexi wanted to possess me, there was a part of him that admired me for demanding what I needed from him, a part of him that wanted me to be free. They were different. I’d been hiding from them both, but they were different. I had wasted time being afraid of my feelings for Alexi. I tilted my chin up and glared at Easton. "If you want me in that car, you're going to have to put me in it. Because as sure as hell, I'm not getting in voluntarily.” And then his cool and calm facade was gone. It slipped as if a mask had been lifted. The snare was quick, as were his movements. Three steps to me and he was grabbing my shoulders. "You think I can't control you? Get in the fucking car."

  "No. I feel like we've already been through this once. You can physically force me in the car. You can take me if you want, but I will always fight you. I will never come willingly. And one day, you will have to rest, and I will kill you in your sleep. So Let. Me. Go."

  His brows lifted, and he blinked rapidly. I’d never fought back before. Sure, I'd cowered, and begged, and ran away, but I'd never fought, except for that last night in the flat. And that last night in the flat had taught me so much. That I could and was capable of fighting back.

  "Shut up.” He squeezed my shoulders hard and tried to pull me to the car, but I fought.

  "Help!"

  I fought his hold, and he started to drag me. I screamed. "Mrs. Combs. Mrs. Combs!"

  I fought and whacked him with my bag and kicked. A smack on my cheek with the back of his hand stung and startled, but it didn't stop me.