Witch Way to the Bakery

by Zoe Arden

  "I should have walked," I muttered, honking my horn.

  There was never traffic in Sweetland Cove. I couldn't understand how a traffic jam could have appeared out of nowhere when there were usually no more than five cars on the street at a time. I stuck my head out the window to see if I could see what was going on and, up ahead in the distance, I saw a dark gray cloud gathering over the town center.

  I stuck my head back in and bit my lip. It was just a coincidence. It had to be. Ten minutes later, I'd gotten to the light I needed and made a right-hand turn. The rest of the way there was free and clear, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  I preferred coming down to the forest with Sheriff Knoxx, Eleanor's husband. They hadn't been married long but I liked the sheriff. He was a good man. You'd never have known that he was one-eighth goblin just by looking at him. Or was it one-sixteenth? I couldn't keep it straight. Either way, it was little enough for him to make his way in the world undetected as a goblin but still enough that the goblins accepted him as one of their own whenever he showed up. Sheriff Knoxx also had a goblin's temper—shoot first and ask questions later. It was their main motto.

  Anyway, the sheriff wasn't here with me now. So, I'd just have to suck it up and do my best without him. I was pretty sure the goblins knew me well enough by now that they wouldn't shoot me with their arrows the second they saw me.

  Pretty sure.

  I parked Eleanor's car—it was the only one we had, so we all shared it; there just wasn't much use for cars on such a small island—and got slowly out, looking around as I did so. From the outside, Beggars Forest looked a lot like any other forest. It was really the trees that gave it away as something more. They climbed high toward the sky, almost blotting out the sun. The treetops were a combination of light green leaves so bright they hurt your eyes; dark green so dark they were almost black; and everything in between.

  I stood at the edge of the forest, peering in. It wasn't just trees I saw now. There were thick bushes and flowers as tall as a person with stems as wide as a bear. I cleared my mind and stepped inside, taking a deep breath. The goblins had several spells around the forest entrance, and if you weren't careful, they could affect you quickly.

  The darkness consumed me almost at once. It wasn't total darkness; I could still see the space around me and directly in front of me but the bright sunlight that hovered back out of the forest's enclosure was gone. It was more like strong starlight shining down upon me, or the early morning dawn.

  I hurried along, moving as fast as I could before the goblins' magic could take hold of me. Just because I knew what was coming didn't make it any easier. I'd dealt with it all before but every time it happened it snuck up on me so that I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late. I supposed it only made sense, though. The goblins were capable of powerful magic and had to create ways to keep people out of their forest. They didn't want humans wandering in here and disturbing them. They didn't really want witches and wizards wandering in here and disturbing them either. Goblins preferred to keep to themselves.

  I walked several yards into the forest, and my tension eased. So far, so good. The sun wasn't nearly as dim as I had at first thought, and the trees not nearly as large. If only I hadn't left the front door to my house unlocked, I might be able to find the perfect picnic spot. But I had left the front door unlocked. I was certain of it. I stopped walking and turned around.

  I was halfway back to the forest's edge when I stopped. "Oh, crud." I'd fallen for it again. The goblin magic had gotten ahold of me. It always made you think you'd forgotten some vital thing somewhere far from the forest, and you must leave at once to go and take care of it. It could have been something as mundane as leaving throwing a banana peel in the garbage. You might suddenly wonder whether you'd shut the lid of the garbage can or left it open. Nothing would ease your worry about it until you returned home and checked.

  It was all a trick. I used that knowledge to force myself to relax. I turned back around and resumed my trek deeper into the forest. I hadn't left the front door unlocked this morning at all.

  Oh, yes, you did, said a voice inside my head. You most certainly did.

  Even if I had left the front door unlocked this morning, it wouldn't have mattered. Sweetland Cove had roughly two to three thousand people, and they were about as harmless as a ladybug. Every now and again, you'd get the odd tourist who would stumble through and cause a raucous when they drank too much during their brunch but otherwise, it was a quiet place.

  Except for the occasional murder, the voice reminded me. I froze and turned back around.

  The voice was right. Since I'd moved to the town of Sweetland Cove on the island of Heavenly Haven, I'd witnessed multiple murders. I wanted to argue with the voice, tell it that it was wrong, but I didn't dare. Because it was right.

  I stood still, thinking.

  I could go but I'd still have to come back. And then I'd have to face Eleanor's wrath as well.

  I finally drew in a deep breath and pressed onward. Facing Eleanor's wrath wasn't worth it. King Zulubar was expecting me. I wished that there was some way the goblins could remove the spells that surrounded the forest when I was expected, or maybe there was a draught I could ask Zulubar for that would enable me to pass through without experiencing the effects of their magic. I'd asked about that last time I was here, though, and no such luck.

  I'd walked almost three-quarters of a mile into the forest before finally noticing a set of ears pointing up behind a rock. They were very much like rabbit ears, except they were more of a drab green-gray color and had something that resembled scales. They also bent forward at the tips, though the goblins seemed able to control that particular feature of their anatomy, like a cat. If they wanted them to, their ears could stand up tall and straight.

  "Hello," I called out. "It's Ava. Ava Fortune."

  The ears rose up and two sets of black eyes appeared, almost hidden behind a halo of grayish-blond hair.

  "Ava Fortune, is it?" asked the voice, and I realized it was a female goblin. I had gotten better at telling the difference between the males and females, though I was still no expert. As far as I could tell, they had the same body types and colors, though some goblins appeared greener and others appeared grayer. I didn't think that was strictly a male/female thing though. The only way I could tell a girl goblin was by the hair—they had it; male goblins didn't—and the incrementally higher voice.

  "Yes," I told her. "Ava Fortune."

  She stood up to her full height now and I saw a bow and arrow pointed right at me. She saw me looking at it and set it at her side. "I've been instructed to bring you to Zulu," she said. Her cheeks turned a strange shade of orange that made it look like she was blushing. "I mean, Zulubar. King Zulubar," she said and giggled.

  She cleared her throat and rounded back her shoulders. "Follow me."

  I followed her as directed, watching as the orange faded from her cheeks. "What's your name?" I asked.

  The goblin looked up at me. "Kyrab."

  "I don't think we've met before."

  "I have only recently joined the king's command. The palace is in preparation for the ball and extra help was required."

  "Oh," I said, not entirely sure what she meant. The palace? Did he even have a palace? I'd only ever seen the king in the forest amongst the trees and shrubs. I'd always assumed the forest itself was his home but they probably had some sort of shelter. Was there really a goblin palace hidden here somewhere?

  "Zulu is most excited about the ball. He keeps speaking about the food and the dancing. There is to be a grintza unveiling."

  "A... grintza?"

  Kyrab looked at me. "Grintza is a type of artwork. Like a moving statue. We have many of them in our territory but this promises to be the most exceptional. It is to resemble Zulu." Her cheeks suddenly flared orange, "I mean, King Zulubar."

  Just then two tall, gray goblins without hair popped out from behind the trees. They looked at Kyrab, wh
o saluted, then at me.

  "The king awaits," they said.

  Kyrab nodded. I went to take a step toward the two who had just appeared but she put her hand on my arm, stopping me. "He will come forth in a moment."

  This was far better than the bow and arrow treatment I was used to receiving from the goblins. It was much more formal. The leaves on the low branches of the tree in front of us shook and a moment later, King Zulubar stepped out.

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  CHAPTER

  FOUR

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  "Greetings, Ava Fortune," King Zulubar said. "I'm glad you are here."

  His gray-green skin puckered in places around his face, almost like the skin was loose. Part of me wanted to go up to him, stretch it taut, then tape it down so that it stayed that way. I'd had this same impulse every time I'd seen him before and had to remind myself that it was all normal for a goblin. Most of them had that weird puckered skin; it was considered an attractive quality.

  "Greetings, King Zulubar," I replied.

  He moved slowly toward me, his long, pointed nose jutting out like one of the tree branches that were still shaking, and took a deep, formal bow. His nose actually touched the forest floor and I noticed a fresh wart had sprung out on its tip. I bowed back as low as I dared without falling over. I did not want to make a fool out of myself in front of the king.

  "Thank you for meeting with me," I told him.

  I said it as though he were doing me the greatest favor in the world, even though he'd requested this meeting himself. It was usually best just to act as if everything the goblins did was a great favor to you. They were a very proud species and enjoyed showing off. The more you could make them feel as though they were worthy of your praise, the more they would like you and the less likely you'd be to get shot with one of their bows and arrows. They were a deadly aim; I'd heard tales of them taking out entire armies with rifles and canons with no more than a dozen men and their trusty bows and arrows.

  "It is good you are here." He looked at Kyrab and waved. "You are dismissed."

  Her mouth drew down into a frown but for no more than a second, and her eyes seemed to shrink, then she quickly walked away with her head down. The two tall guards hovered nearby, watching me with suspicion. Though they did not point them at me, they had bows and arrows slung over their backs. Just in case. I supposed I didn't blame them. King Zulubar was of the utmost importance to their people; it was the equivalent of the human Secret Service protecting the President of the United States.

  "Now then," the king began, "tell me how things are progressing. I trust there are no problems with the list I gave you?" I could tell that to say anything other than a definitive "yes" would not have pleased him. Luckily, I had no questions. Some of the items on the list had been tricky to get but it had all been outlined very clearly.

  "None at all," I said, wanting to reassure him. Eleanor hadn't been lying when she'd said she'd kill me if I blew this.

  The Goblin Ball was going to be an even bigger event than the Mayor's Ball had been a couple months ago. Of course, that ball had catered mostly to witches and warlocks. The goblins had been invited, along with the fairies, but that was about it. As far as I knew, the Goblin Ball was going to be strictly goblins. My aunts and I would be able to get in because we were catering it and setting things up but I still wasn't entirely sure whether we'd be allowed to stay and enjoy it.

  I was dying to see what a Goblin Ball looked like. Did the women wear gowns? In their day to day life, they seemed to wear little better than t-shirts, and their garments were considered more fashionable the rattier they looked. King Zulubar was wearing a piece of white cloth around his waist that had been torn in three places and a black t-shirt. The only thing I knew he wore that was of the finest quality—well, at least what witches would consider the finest quality—were his robes. I had seen them before, and they were quite regal.

  The list in question was a long one. It contained over one hundred items that the goblins insisted on having at the Goblin Ball. The list included specific combinations of flavors that were to be included in the pastries. I wasn't sure if the goblins were planning to have any other food; we were only preparing desserts since that was our specialty. Then again, dessert was all they ever seemed interested in. It wouldn't be the first time we'd catered a party that had nothing but sweets for the guests. Generally, those types of parties went over fairly well in Sweetland Cove.

  "Excellent. In that case, I would like to add one more item to our list if it is no trouble?"

  "No trouble at all."

  "Good. I have some friends who have asked me to add lemon bars with loonercullen and fried dill."

  I gulped. Lemon bars with dill? That was the perfect combination for fish or even potatoes but pastries? I wasn't so sure about that but then the goblins had slightly different palettes than witches did. Even goblins wanted the usual chocolate cupcakes with happiness extract and sugar cookies with peppy powder, designed to give you energy in an instant, but they also wanted things like lemon bars with fried dill and loonercullen. I'd never even heard of loonercullen.

  "Sir," I began. The goblin's eyes bulged from his head. His skin turned a dark blue. I looked at him, wondering if I should do something. It looked like he was about to pass out. Maybe I should get the guards' attention.

  "Pssst!" A harsh whisper came out of some nearby bushes. "Pssst!" I turned my head and saw Kyrab standing between some bushes. I hadn't even noticed her until she'd whispered. She looked incredibly worried. "King!"

  It took a moment for her words to sink in. When they did, I realized my mistake.

  "I'm so sorry," I said quickly before Zulubar's face could turn any bluer. "I meant King Zulubar." I made a mental note never to call him "sir" again, always "king." It was strange how different cultures reacted to different words. I'd never have guessed he would find "sir" so insulting.

  The king recovered his composure. His skin returned to its normal gray-green color and I relaxed.

  I bowed deeply before continuing. He bowed back. "Um, I'm not familiar with loonercullen, I'm afraid, King."

  His face did not turn blue but his eyes did narrow.

  "You don't know loonercullen? I was under the impression our requirements were no obstacle for you."

  "Oh, they're not," I said quickly. "It's just this is the first time I've ever heard of loonercullen."

  "Pssst! It grows on looner leaves." I turned toward Kyrab's hiding place; all l I could see now were two dark eyes staring at me from the bushes. Kyrab's head had completely disappeared. Her dark eyes blinked at me. I could tell that she was nodding her head because her eyes bobbed up and down.

  "Who is that back there?" King Zulubar demanded, following my gaze. "Show yourself."

  I tried not to wince but couldn't help it. I'd just outed Kyrab. I hoped she wouldn't be in too much trouble.

  Kyrab stepped out of the bushes. She smiled shyly at him, tilting her head to the side and batting long, dark lashes. It was a pose I would have recognized anywhere. I supposed that was one thing goblins and witches had in common—the look of someone trying to flirt was universal.

  "Kyrab," Zulubar said. "Did I not tell you that you were dismissed?"

  Instead of looking hurt, her smile widened. "King Zulubar knows my name?"

  The king looked confused. "Yes, of course. I know the names of all my subjects."

  Kyrab looked as though she might take to flying through the air she was so happy. "I'm sorry, my king. I only thought I could be of service. Ava Fortune is a good baker but she is also a witch and does not know all of our ways."

  "Well, your service is not currently needed. You may go." He paused. "And pick up my purple robe when you return to the castle. The washers should have finished with it by now."

  She nodded. "Anything you wish," she said dreamily and hurried away.

  The king stoo
d shaking his head.

  "I think she likes you," I ventured, taking a big risk.

  His head shot up. He turned to look at the two guards who were still hovering about. They appeared to be very interested in a caterpillar who was crawling up a tree.

  "What do you mean?" he asked me, lowering his voice a notch and stepping toward me. "Kyrab is several years younger than me and quite beautiful. She could have any goblin she wanted."

  "I suspect she wants you."

  King Zulubar's cheeks turned orange. He cleared his throat.

  "The loonercullen is made from looner leaves, as Kyrab stated. They grow at Whisper Crossing. You should have no problem finding them. They are very rare but few people ever go after them."

  "Why is that?"

  "They grow only on the cliffs. You will have to climb down to get them."

  I gulped. "The cliffs? You mean like... the actual cliffs?"

  He tilted his head to one side. "Is that a problem?"

  "I'm not a mountain climber. I don't know how to climb down a cliff."

  "Then get someone who does."

  "I can't—"

  "There are other bakeries on Heavenly Haven," he said, his voice sharp and deep now. "If you cannot fulfill our requests for the ball, I shall be happy to find someone who can."

  "No, no, don't do that," I said, smiling. "No problem. I'll get the looner leaves. I love climbing cliffs, used to do it all the time when I was a kid." I'd grown up in New York City, where the tallest cliff I'd ever climbed was when I took an elevator to the top of the Empire State Building for a field trip.

  "Good. We shall meet again soon, then, and I shall expect to hear everything is in order." He turned and left, the subject now closed.

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  CHAPTER

  FIVE

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