Delphi Works of Robert E. Howard (Illustrated) (Series Four)

by Robert E. Howard

  This mishap threw the crowd into a perfect delirium of delight, which was increased by Cortez earnestly chewing my ear while we writhed on the mat. Driven to frenzy I tore loose, arose and closed the Panther’s left eye with a terrible right swing the minute he was on his feet. He came back with a slashing left hook to the body, ripped the same hand to my already battered face, and stopped a straight left with his own map. At that moment the gong rang.

  “I’m goin’ to kick Heinie Steinman loose from his britches after the fight!” snarled Bill, shaking with rage as he mopped the blood off my mangled ear. “If that wasn’t the dirtiest foul I ever seen—”

  “I wonder if we couldn’t buy a half share with that fifty cents,” I meditated. “That’d be five hundred dollars—”

  I rushed out for the third frame inclined to settle matters quick, but Cortez had other plans. He opened a cut over my eye with a left hook, ripped a right hook to my sore ear and went under my return. He come up with a venomous right under the heart, ducked my left swing and jabbed me three times on the nose without a return. Maddened, I hurtled into him headlong, grabbed him with my left and clubbed him with my right till he tied me up.

  At close quarters we traded short arm rights and lefts to the body and he was the first to back away, not forgetting to flick me in the eye with his long left as he did so. I was right on top of him and suddenly he lowered his head and butted me square in the mouth, bringing a flow of claret that dyed my chin. He instantly ripped in a right uppercut that loosened a bunch of my teeth and backed me into the ropes with a perfect whirlwind of left and right hooks to the head.

  With the ropes cutting into my back I rallied, steadied myself and smashed a right under his heart that stopped him in his tracks. A left to the jaw set him back on his heels and rattled his teeth like a castinet, and before I could hit again the gong sounded.

  “This is lastin’ considerably longer than I thought,” I said to Bill, who was mopping blood and talking to Heinie with some heat.

  “My gosh, Bill,” said Heinie. “Be reasonable! If I stopped this fight and awarded it to Steve or anybody else on a foul, these thugs wouldst tear this buildin’ down and hang me to the rafters. They craves a knockout—”

  “They’re goin’ to get one!” I snarled. “Never mind the fouls. Say, Bill, did you ever see such clear, honest eyes as Joan’s got? I know women, I wanta tell you, and I never seen a straighter, squarer jane in my life—”

  At the gong we went into a clinch and pounded each other’s midsections till Heinie broke us. Cortez wasn’t taking much chances, fighting wary and cautious. He slashed away with his left, but he kept his right high and never let it go unless he was sure of landing. He was using his elbows plenty in the clinches, and butting every chance he got, but Heinie pretended not to see. The crowd didn’t care; as long as a man fought, they didn’t care how he fought. Bill was making remarks that would of curled the toes of a Hottentot, but nobody seemed to mind.

  About the middle of the lap, Cortez began making remarks about my ancestors that made me good and mad. My Irish got up, and I went for him like a wild bull, head down and arms hammering. He shot his left and side-stepped, but the left ain’t made that can stop me when my temper’s up, and I was right on top of him too fast for him to get away. I battered him across the ring, but just as I thought I had him pinned on the ropes he side-stepped and I fell into them myself.

  This highly amused the crowd, and Cortez hooked three lefts to my head while I was untangling myself, and when I slewed around and swung, he ducked and crashed my jaw with a right hook he brought up from the floor and which had me groggy for the first time that night. Sensing victory, he shot the same hand three times to my head, knocking me back into the ropes where he sank his left to the wrist in my midriff.

  I was dizzy and slightly sick, but I saw Cortez’ snarling face in a sort of red haze and I smashed my right square into the middle of that face. He was off his guard — not expecting a return like that and his head went back like it was hinged. The blood splattered, and the crowd howled with relish. I plunged after him, but he crouched and as I came in he went under my swing and hooked his right hard to my groin. Oh Jerusha! I dropped like my legs had been cut from under me, and writhed and twisted on the canvas like a snake with a broken back.

  I had to clench my teeth to keep from vomiting and I was sick — nauseated if you get what I mean. I looked up and Heinie, with his face white, was fixing to count over me.

  “One!” he said. “Two! Three!”

  “You hog-fat nit-wit!” screamed Bill. “If you count him out I’ll blow your brains through the back of your skull!”

  Heinie shivered like he had a chill; he took a quick look at Bill, then he shot a scared glance at the ravening crowd, and he ducked his head like a tortoise, shut his eyes and kept on counting.

  “Four! Five! Six!”

  “Thirty-six thousand dollars!” I groaned, reaching for the ropes. The cold sweat was standing out on my brow as I pulled myself up.

  “Seven! Eight! Nine!”

  I was up, feet braced wide, holding the top rope to keep from falling. Cortez came lunging in to finish me, and I knowed if I let go I’d fall again. I hunched my shoulder and blocked his right, but he ripped his left to my chin and crashed his right high on my temple — and then the gong sounded. He socked me again after the gong, before he went to his corner — but a little thing like that don’t cause no comment in the International Fight Arena.

  Bill helped me to my corner, cursing between clenched teeth, but, with my usual recuperative powers, I was already recovering from the effects of that foul blow. Bill emptied a bucket-full of cold water over me, and much to Cortez’ disgust I come out for the fifth frame as good as new. He didn’t think so at first, but a wicked right-hander under the heart shook him to the toes and made him back pedal in a hurry.

  I went for him like a whirlwind and, seeming somewhat discouraged, he began his old tactics of hit and run. A sudden thought hit me that maybe all the shares was bought up. This fight looked like it was going on forever; here I was chasing Panther Cortez around the ring and doing no damage, while the No Sens was buying up all the Korean Copper in sight. Every minute a fortune was slipping that much farther away from me, and this rat refused to stand up and be knocked out like a man. I nearly went crazy with fury.

  “Come on and fight, you yellow skunk!” I raged, while the crowd yelled blood-thirstily, beginning to be irritated at Cortez’ tactics, which was beginning to be more run than hit. “Stand up to it, you white-livered, yellow- bellied, Porchugeeze half-caste!”

  They’s always something that’ll get under a fellow’s hide. This got under Cortez’. Maybe he did have some breed blood in him. Anyway, he went clean crazy. He give a howl like a blood-mad jungle-cat, and in spite of the wild yells from his corner, he tore in with his eyes glaring and froth on his lips. Biff! Bim! Bam! I was caught in a perfect whirlwind of punches; it was like being clawed by a real panther. But, with a savage grin, I slugged it out with him. That’s my game! He hit three blows to my one, but mine were the ones that counted.

  There was the salty tang of blood in my mouth, and blood in my eyes; it reddened Heinie’s shirt, and stained the canvas under our feet. It spattered in the faces of the yelling ring-siders at every blow. But my gloves were sinking deep at every sock, and I was satisfied. Toe to toe we slashed and smashed, till the ring swum red and the thunder of our blows could be heard all over the house. But it couldn’t last; flesh and blood couldn’t stand it. Somebody had to go — and it was Cortez.

  Flat on his back he hit, and bounced back up without a count. But I was on him like a blood-mad tiger. I took his left and right in the face without hardly feeling them, and smashed my right under his heart and my left to his jaw. He staggered, glassy eyed; a crashing right to the jaw dropped him under the ropes on his face. Maybe he’s there yet. Anyhow, up to the count of ten he didn’t bat an eyelash.

  “Gimme that dough!” I snar
led, jerking it out of Heinie’s reluctant hand.

  “Hey!” he protested. “What about my cut? Didn’t I promote this show? Didn’t I stand all the expense? You think you can fight in my ring for nothin’—”

  “If I had your nerve I’d be King of Siam,” I growled, shaking the blood outa my eyes, and at that moment Bill’s right met Heinie’s jaw like a caulking mallet meeting a ship’s hull, and Heinie went to sleep. The crowd filed out, gabbling incoherently. That last touch was all that was needed to make the night a perfect success for them.

  “Here, give this to Cortez when he wakes up!” I snarled, shoving a five- dollar bill — American money — into the hand of one of the Panther’s seconds. “He’s dirty, but he’s game. And he don’t know it, but it’s the same as me givin’ him five thousand dollars. Come on, Bill.”

  I changed my clothes in the dressing-room, noting in a cracked mirror that my face looked like I’d fallen afoul a wildcat, and likewise that I had a beautiful black eye or two. We skinned out a side door, but I reckon some thugs in the crowd had seen us get the money — and they’s plenty of men in the Singapore waterfront who’d cut your throat for a dime. The second I stepped out into the dark alley-way something crashed against my head, and I went to my knees seeing about a million stars. I come up again and felt a knife-edge lick along my arm. I hit out blind and landed by sheer luck. My right lifted my unseen attacker clean off his feet and dropped him like a sack on the ground. Meanwhile Bill had grappled with two more and I heard the crack as he knocked their heads together.

  “You hurt, Steve?” he asked, feeling for me, because it was that dark you couldn’t see your hand before you.

  “Scratched a little,” I said, my head still ringing from the blackjack sock. “Let’s get outa here. Looks like we got to lick everybody in Singapore before we get that stock.”

  We got out of the alley and beat it down the street, people looking kind of funny at us. Well, I guess I was a sight, what with my black eye and cut and battered face, the bump on my head, and my arm bleeding from the knife wound. But nobody said nothing. People in places like that have got a way of minding their own business that politer folks could well copy.

  “We better stop by the Waterfront Mission before we go for that stock, Steve,” said Bill. “The gospel-shark will bandage your arm and not charge a cent — and keep his mouth shut afterward.”

  “No, no, no!” said I, becoming irascible because of my hurts and the delay. “We’re goin’ to get that stock before we do anything else.”

  We was passing a gambling hall and Bill’s eyes lighted as he heard the click and whir of the roulette wheel.

  “I feel lucky tonight,” he muttered. “I betcha I could run that thirty bucks up to a hundred in no time.”

  “And I’d give my arm for a shot of licker,” I snapped. “But I tell you, we ain’t takin’ no chances. We can guzzle and play fan-tan and roulette all we want to after we get rich.”

  After what seemed a century we arrived at the dismal, dark and vile smelling alley that the Chinese call the Alley of the Seven Mandarins — why, I never could figure. We found the door with the green dragon and knocked, and my heart stood still for fear Joan wouldn’t be there. But she was. The door opened and she give a gasp as she saw me.

  “Quick, don’t keep us in suspense,” Bill gasped. “Is the stock all took up?”

  “Why, no,” she said. “I can get you—”

  “Then do it, quick,” I said, pressing the money into her hand. “There’s thirty-one dollars and fifty-cents—”

  “Is that all?” she said, like she was considerably disappointed.

  “If you’d a seen how I won it, you’d think it was a lot,” I said.

  “Well,” she said. “Wait a minute. The man who owns that stock lives down the alley.”

  She vanished down the dark alley-way, and we waited with our hearts knocking holes in our ribs for what seemed like hours. Then she came out of the darkness, looking kind of white and ghostly in the shadows, and slipped a long envelope into my hot and sweaty hand. I hove a vast sigh of relief and started to say something, but she put her finger to her lips.

  “Shhh! I musn’t be seen with you. I must go, now.” And before I could say a word, she’d vanished in the dark.

  “Open the envelope, Steve,” urged Bill. “Let’s see what a fortune looks like!”

  I opened it and pulled out a slip of paper. I moved over to the lamp- light in the street to read what was wrote on it. Then I give a roar that brought faces to every window on the street. Bill jerked the paper from me and glared at it and then he give a maddened howl and joined me in a frenzied burst of horrible talk that brought a dozen cops on the run. We wasn’t in no condition to make any coherent reply, and the ensuing riot didn’t end till the reserves was called out.

  On the paper which was in the envelope Joan Wells gave me in return for my hard-earned money was wrote:

  This is to certify that you are entitled to thirty-one and a half shares of stock in the Korean Copper Company which was dissolved in the year 1875. Don’t worry about the No Sen Tong; it was extinct before the Boxer Rebellion. Of all the suckers that have fallen for this graft, you saps were the easiest. But cheer up; you’re out only $31.50, and I took one bonehead for $300. A girl has got to live.

  * * *

  WATERFRONT FISTS; OR, STAND UP AND SLUG!

  First published in Fight Stories, September 1930. Also published as “Stand Up And Slug!”

  THE Sea Girl hadn’t been docked in Honolulu more’n three hours before Bill O’Brien come legging it down to the pool hall where I was showing Mushy Hansen the fine points of the game, to tell me that he’d got me matched to fight some has-been at the American Arena that night.

  “The Ruffian is in,” said Bill, “and they got a fellow which they swear can take any man aboard the Sea Girl to a royal cleanin’. I ain’t seen him, but they say he growed up in the back country of Australia and run wild with the kangaroos till he was shanghaied aboard a ship at an early age. They say he’s licked everybody aboard the Ruffian from the cap’n down to the mess boy—”

  “Stow the gab and lead me to some Ruffian idjits which is cravin’ to risk their jack on this tramp,” I interrupted. “I got a hundred and fifty bucks that’s burnin’ my pockets up.”

  Well, it was easy to find some lunatics from the Ruffian, and after putting up our money at even odds, with a bartender for stakeholder, and knowing I had a tough battle ahead of me and needed some training, I got me a haircut and then went down to the Hibernian Bar for a few shots of hard licker. While me and Bill and Mushy was lapping up our drinks, in come Sven Larsen. This huge and useless Swede has long been laboring under the hallucination that he oughta be champion of the Sea Girl, and no amount of battering has been able to quite wipe the idee outa what he supposes to be his brain.

  Well, this big mistake come up to me, and scowling down at me, he said: “You Irisher, put oop your hands!”

  I set my licker down with a short sigh of annoyance. “With a thousand sailors in port itchin’ for a scrap,” I said, “you got to pick on me. G’wan — I don’t want to fight no shipmate now. Anyway, I got to fight the Ruffian’s man in a few hours.”

  “Aye shood be fightin’ him,” persisted the deluded maniac. “Aye ought to be champ of dey Sea Girl. Come on, you big stiffer!” And so saying he squared off in what he fondly believed was a fighting pose. At this moment my white bulldog, Mike, sensing trouble, bristled and looked up from the bowl of beer he was lapping up on the floor, but seeing it was nobody but Sven, he curled up and went to sleep.

  “Don’t risk your hands on the big chump, Steve,” said Bill disgustedly. “I’ll fix him—”

  “You stay oot of dis, Bill O’Brien,” said the Swede waving his huge fists around menacingly. “Aye will see to you after Aye lick Steve.”

  “Aw, you’re drunk,” I said. “A fine shipmate you are.”

  “Aye am not droonk!” he roared. “My girl told me�
��”

  “I didn’t know you had a girl here,” said Bill.

  “Well, Aye have. And she said a big man like me shood be champion of his ship and she wouldn’t have nothings to do with me till Aye was. So put oop your hands—”

  “Aw, you’re crazy,” I snapped, turning back to the bar, but watching him close from the corner of my eye. Which was a good thing because he started a wild right swing that had destruction wrote all over it. I side-stepped and he crashed into the bar. Rebounding with a bloodthirsty beller he lunged at me, and seeing they was no arguing with the misguided heathen, I stepped inside his swing and brought up a right uppercut to the jaw that lifted his whole two hundred and forty-five pounds clean off the floor and stood him on the back of his neck, out cold. Mike, awakened by the crash, opened one eye, raised one ear, and then went back to sleep with a sort of gentle canine smile.

  “Y’oughta be careful,” growled Bill, while Mushy sloshed a pitcher of dirty water over the Swede. “You mighta busted yore hand. Whyn’t you hit him in the stummick?”

  “I didn’t wanta upset his stummick,” I said. “I’ve skinned my knuckles a little, but they ain’t even bruised much. I’ve had ’em in too many buckets uh brine.”

  At last Sven was able to sit up and cuss me, and he mumbled something I didn’t catch.

  “He says he’s got a date with his girl tonight,” Mushy said, “but he’s ashamed to go back to her with that welt on his jaw and tell her he got licked.”