Tainted

by Kallie Mathers

  “If you’re that determined to keep him out of your life, then why haven’t you fessed up? You don’t want him back...” I cut her off.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, I do want him back, I want him more than anything but it’s simply not a possibility, and you know it.” I still don’t know why Stef continues to push the subject.

  “I don’t think the conversation would go as badly as you believe it would. You need to have a little faith in him, babe. That man has loved you since the instant he laid eyes on you. He never hesitated to drop everything or anything he was doing if you needed him. That’s never going to change. Ever. You need to stop fighting with yourself and believe you are important. Hell, I love you girl, and there are many others that love you too, but you keep them at arm’s length because you think you don’t deserve to be happy. You punish yourself on a daily basis by getting wasted, taking pills and refusing to eat. Hell, if you don’t eat a decent meal soon, then it won’t be the pills that kill you rather the anorexia. Your hair is thinning girl, I can see how much pressure you’re putting on your body, it can only take so much. Please, let me get you some help. Please?” She begs. I know she only wants the best for me, but it’s not something I deserve.

  “I’ll be just fine.”

  “No, you won’t, you aren’t invincible. No one is. It’s just a matter of time before I’m attending your funeral. Get yourself together and let me get you some help. I’ll have the best of the best doctors see you. I don’t care if I have to fly them in from the other side of the world.”

  Shaking my head, I respond, “I’m okay. I don’t need a complete stranger’s help. I rely on me and only me. You of all people should know that.” She’s sounding like Chase and Carter.

  “So stubborn.”

  Chapter Three

  Carter

  Watching her leave was harder than I could have ever imagined. I had her in my grasp and yet again, she ran away from me.

  “I think I’m going to have to force Mia into rehab,” Chase tells me as he takes a sip from his glass.

  When Mia up and left us we thought it would be a good idea to hit a bar and order a meal, along with drinks, much, much needed drinks.

  As I cut my stake, I respond, “As much as I want her to make her own decisions, it’s more than clear that she isn’t capable of doing such a thing. There’s something more going on, Chase. This isn’t happening simply because your moms a bitch and your dad committed suicide. Granted, it didn’t help things, but she’s obviously punishing herself for something that happened after she left. Do you have any idea what could have gone on?” I ask as I take a bite of my dinner.

  Chase takes a moment to think. “Come to think of it, she did call me one night about a month after she disappeared crying. I tried to make sense of what she was saying. I tried to get her to calm down so I could help her, but she wouldn’t. She kept screaming, and the fact that she was off her face didn’t help matters. After dinner, I’d like to head over to the motel and check to see if she made her way back there.”

  Placing my fork down on the plate, I then ask, “Do you think she’ll go against her word?”

  “Oh, I know she already has. I refuse to give up on her, though. Whatever it is she’s trying to hide from, I need to find out what it is and get her some help. If we find her passed out again, I’ll be booking her into the best rehab facility in New York. I’ve already called ahead and reserved her a spot. It’s just a matter of time. I need my sister back, dude. It’s always been us against the world, and I miss her. Hell, if she wants to stay here after rehab, then I’ll pack up and move. She’s going to need all the support she can get.” Chase is exhausted.

  Chase had the brilliant idea of staking out the motel from a distance. Sure enough, as we sat and waited outside the motel at three am Mia drunkenly climbed out of a cab and we watched on as she struggled to even use the key to get in the motel room.

  “Do we get her now?” I question. Desperate to get her some help. It is taking everything in me, to not run over there

  “Nope, we should wait another half hour to make sure she’s good and passed out. I’ll call the rehab facility now,” Chase then pulls out his phone while I continue to watch the door of the room Mia entered.

  “Hi, this is Chase Masters, I made a tentative booking for my sister Mia Masters. We’re going to need an ambulance out here to bring her in. We just saw her stumble into her hotel room and since I spoke to you last, we had to take her into the emergency room for a suspected overdose. Unfortunately, she discharged herself.” He then stops talking and listens to the person on the other end of the line before responding. “Yes, she’ll be passed out within the next twenty minutes, I’d say. She looked pretty damn wasted.” He again pauses. “Perfect. We’ll be here waiting.” Chase ends the call.

  “What now?” I question.

  “The paramedics will be here soon to get her. I don’t care if she beats the shit out of me, she’s going.” He says in a final manner.

  For the next ten minutes, I kept my eyes trained on Mia’s door. I didn’t want her leaving the property before the paramedics showed up.

  “Let’s go and get in position. As much as I want to break in the door, I also don’t want to tip her off. They should be here soon, and I don’t want to waste a moment. She needs help, my man. Serious help,” he tells me as he reaches for the door handle.

  “I just hope she doesn’t hate us afterwards.” But I know she will. Stubborn woman she is.

  Mia

  The drugs must have done the trick. I can’t move, but I do remember flashes of my brother’s face and his voice come into my mind. Hm, it must have been a dream because I’m still wasted.

  At one point I thought I was being moved, but I was far too doped up to care.

  “Sweetie, sweetie, can you hear me? Tell me you can hear me?” That voice, that voice was one I had missed, and I feel a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. “I’m okay, dad,” I respond.

  It takes some time for my brain to react, but when I make the realisation, my eyes shoot open and although my

  stomach is feeling uneasy, I sit up.

  Searching the room, I then see him, standing not too far from the bed that doesn’t belong to me. I know I should ask where I am, but the fact that my deceased father is standing before me, has me forgetting about everything else.

  Carefully, I open my mouth to speak. “You cannot be here. You’re dead.” My muscles tense. “Fuck, am I dead? Is that why this room is so bright?” Everything surrounding me is white, and the room has a sterile feel to it.

  My father smiles, and as he steps towards me, I find myself moving away out of fear.

  Raising his hands, he tries to assure me, “It’s okay, my love. I promise you it is. You aren’t dead, but you came very close to it, and somehow, I just appeared here, watching over you. I don’t know what took place. It’s as if my memory was wiped. But I ‘am’ here. I can only imagine that I was sent here to look after you, and to try to get you to change your ways before you end up like I did. Being in such a state of depression that you feel like there is no way out. Please, I beg of you, don’t be stupid like I was, pumpkin.”

  Staring at him, I do my best to understand, but I’ve never believed in ghosts and the ‘afterlife.’ Are the pills playing havoc with my mind? That must be the case. “Can I touch you?” I question no louder than a whisper.

  My father shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t have a clue. This is the first time I’ve been back.” Guarded, he asks, “Would you like to try?”

  Needing my father is the only thing important right at this moment. My dad always gave the best hugs, and if I could be on the receiving end of one, I’d be forever grateful.

  Nodding furiously, I tell him, “Yes, yes, I want to try, dad.”

  Moving towards me, he closes the distance, and when his hands are close, I suck in a breath and hold it, I hold it in anticipation, and then he hugs me. He wraps me up in his loving embrace, and I le
t my emotions go. My tears turn to sobs, the kind that make your chest heave with agony.

  “It’s okay me girl,” I promise you it is. You aren’t dead, but you came close to it, and somehow, I just appeared here, watching over you. I don’t know what took place. It’s as if my memory was wiped. But I ‘am’ here. I can only imagine that I was sent here to look after you, and to try to get you to change your ways before you end up like I did. Being in such a state of depression you feel like there is no way out. Please, I beg of you, don’t be stupid like I was, pumpkin.”

  Staring at him, I do my best to understand, but I’ve never believed in ghosts and the ‘afterlife.’ Are the pills playing havoc with my mind? That must be the case. “Can I touch you?” I question no louder than a whisper.

  My father shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t have a clue. This is the first time I’ve been back.” Guarded, he asks, “Would you like to try?”

  Needing my father is the only thing important right at this moment. My dad always gave the best hugs, and if I could be on the receiving end of one, I’d be forever grateful.

  Nodding furiously, I tell him, “Yes, yes, I want to try, dad.”

  Moving towards me, he closes the distance, and when his hands are close, I suck in a breath and hold it, I hold it in anticipation, and then, he hugs me. He wraps me up in his loving embrace, and I let my emotions go. My tears turn to sobs, the kind that make your chest heave with agony.

  “It’s okay me girl,” he coos.

  Startled when the curtain is pulled back, I go into a state of shock when my father disappears.

  Soon, I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I open my eyes, but I cry when I realise it was all just a dream. But it was so real, it was as if he was in the room, but my heart sinks knowing he isn’t here.

  “Ms Masters, how are you feeling,” the short, chubby blonde woman wearing a nurses uniform questions as she approaches me.

  Reaching out, I grab the woman’s arm in sheer desperation. I hate being in strange places especially if I was under the influence. “Can you tell me where I am?”

  The woman turns to face me, “You’re in a rehab facility. Your brother was concerned about your welfare and called us. We’re going to take extremely good care of you,” she does her best to assures me, but it doesn’t sit well with me.

  Angry that my brother betrayed me, standing, I feel the rage burn within me and I storm away from the cubical, ignoring the nurse who is now calling out my name but I soon come to a standstill when I realise I have no idea where I’m going. “How do I get the hell out of this joint?” I say to no one in particular.

  Turning in circles, I still can’t find an exit sign, but I suddenly notice a scurry of nurses closing in on me.

  “It’s all going to be okay,” one says as she carefully steps towards me.

  Then a man in a white coat moves in front of her. “You’re going to be just fine, Mia. You just need to get some rest,” he adds as he creeps towards me, but as I go to step back someone from behind grabs my shoulders, holding me in place.

  As I try to jerk the asshole off me, I feel a sharp jab in my leg. “Ouch, What the hell, you asshole!” But before I further protest, my eyelids become heavy and my legs grow weak. Suddenly, out the lights go.

  Carter

  I’ve got to admit it, the rehab facility is much like an overpriced hotel suite for celebrities, with its open first floor, reception desk, dark red walls with rich wooden accents and the sofas dotted around the establishment are beyond comfortable.

  While we sit back and wait with lattes in hand (the cute receptionist insisted on getting them for us when she explained that we could be in for a long wait) I turn in my seat and face my best friend, who is exhausted and I ask, “Do you think Mia will accept help from the team here?” I’m sure I already know the answer.

  For a moment, his head drops and I hear him expel a long breath. “I don’t know.” He raises his head and looks to me. “I don’t know how far gone she is mentally. I know she’s going to try to escape, but if she does flat out refuse the help offered to her, I’m going to get the lawyers involved. I had legal guardianship over her after dad died, but that was squashed the moment she turned eighteen. But I’ve done some research on the matter and if we can prove without a doubt that she hasn’t been capable of caring for herself I may just be able to get a judge to sign over power of attorney to me and I’ll be able to make her stay here,” he then takes a sip from his cup.

  “You think you can swing it?” I question, but I only receive a nod in a way of an answer. “Personally, I think you need to get the lawyers on the phone now.” Chase’s brows scrunch up. “Why do it now? We don’t know how she’s going to react. She might surprise us all and agree to stay.”

  He is kidding himself. “Dude, there’s no way in hell she’s going to agree to receive treatment. The girl is as stubborn as they come, stubborn and hot headed. Hell, I’m surprised she’s still in there.” I point towards the grand double doors where they wheeled Mia in on a stretcher only two hours ago. “If you wait, it will only take longer, and she’ll have already left here of her own free will. The girl needs help, more help than either of us can offer her.” As much as I want to be the one to take care of her and help her through her addictions and depression, I know I’m not qualified. But I ‘will’ be there for her when she’s ready to let me in.

  “Shit, you’re right,” he concedes and as he goes to call the lawyers, a tall man wearing a white coat approaches. “Are either of you men related to Ms Mia Masters?” he stops before us and questions.

  Both Chase and I stand. “Yes, I’m her brother, Chase.”

  “Very good, I’m doctor McAlister, I was handed your sisters case when she was brought in. and I’ll be her primary doctor from now and until she leaves.”

  “How is she, doc?” Chase asks in a hurry, eager to discover how his sister is coping.

  “We’ve had to sedate her. Mia became scared and eager to leave the facility, however that wasn’t the reason for the sedation. It seems she believes she saw and engaged in an in-depth conversation with her deceased father. May I ask if this has happened in the past? It’s definitely not normal behaviour.”

  My mind is now swimming, worried for Mia’s mental health.

  “No, never,” Chase shakes his head. “Never has she mentioned having seen our father, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened before. Mia ran away from our home in LA just over a year ago, she’d only call to let me know she was still alive. I was never privy to any information beyond that.”

  The doctor nods. “Yes, I’ve heard of many cases like your sisters. I believe Mia needs extensive therapy. She isn’t in the best shape, health wise. She’s wasting away. Between the anorexia, drugs, alcohol and the fact she is now seeing people that have passed on, she will need a lot of help. But as you know, we cannot keep her against her will...”

  Chase cuts him off. “We were just discussing having my lawyers become involved. If I can get a judge to look at Mia’s history of self-harm, would you be willing to enlighten them to just how much help she needs? We need power of attorney, but we’re going to need your

  help to achieve it.”

  The good doctor reaches up and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s a complicated task, however, if the judge orders me to hand over my findings and evaluation, then yes, I will be sure to do whatever I can to keep your sister in treatment. Getting help now, is her only hope. If she were to end up leaving, it would be just a matter of time before she was to have an accidental overdose, an overdose she wouldn’t come back from. I know this must be hard to hear, but I’ve always been a firm believer in speaking the truth and making sure those who interact with the patient know all the facts.”

  Yes, I already knew everything he just said, but having heard it come from a doctor, having him confirm my worst nightmare is a punch to the stomach.

  “I’ll call the lawyers immediately. Thanks doc,” Chase then reaches out, shaking the man’s
hand.

  Not two minutes after the doctor has disappeared behind the double doors, Stef comes waling into the facility and even though she’s wearing a pair tight blue jeans only, and a sheer black button-down shirt, she looks like she’s strutting down the cat walk.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask as I stand to greet her.

  As she leans in and hugs me, she says, “Chase messaged me so, here I am. How is she? Have there been any updates?”

  Taking a seat back down on the sofa, Stef then takes a seat opposite to us. “Not really. The doctor was just out here, and he told us that she’s been seeing Clint. I don’t know if it was just a dream, but it’s worried us even more. He wants to keep her here, but you know Mia, if she doesn’t want to be somewhere, she won’t. Chase is on the phone with his lawyers he’s fighting to get power of attorney so he can legally keep her here.” I hope to hell it all pans out; she needs more help than any of us could ever give her.

  “That’s a relief. I’ve been trying to get her some help for months now, but she kept moving from one cruddy motel to another cruddy motel. She was difficult to get a hold of. I knew she was in town, but she was crafty when it came to hiding out,” she shakes her head.

  “Yeah, that’s the very reason it took the private investigator Chase hired so long to track her down. She only called him from burner phones, and she paid in cash for everything. He tried to get the lawyers to fight to get a hold of her bank records, but because she’d been checking in, and the fact that she was a grown woman, well, the judge felt there was no reason to intervene.” Asshole he is. Both Chase and I attended the hearing in hopes we would be granted permission to access her accounts, but when the request was denied, both Chase and I felt defeated. It was another block in the road.

  “The girl is both clever and cunning, but I do know that she’s hurting and that she believes that pills and booze are the only answer. The more strung out she is, the more likely she is to forget about all her problems. Right now, I know her biggest issue is not being with you.”