Tainted

by Kallie Mathers

  Chase shakes his head. “Nope. Should we be worried?”

  “Open the door ya pussy’s!” I hear my brother DJ call and all we can do is laugh.

  When the door is open, I step back and give him room to wheel inside the suite. “About time. You two aren’t special, there ain’t no one wanting to put a hit on either of you losers.”

  Closing the door, I turn to face him. “Yeah, about that, we did threaten to kill that dickhead G-Mod, last night,” I explain as I take a seat on the overstuffed sofa.

  DJ laughs as if he doesn’t believe me, but his eyes widen when Chase nods, giving him confirmation. “No fucken way? What the fuck? Why did you threaten to kill that fucken douchebag? And why don’t I have a drink in my hand? You two are seriously off your game,” he shakes his head in mock disgust.

  “I’m on it. And Carter can tell you the story,” Chase waves off.

  DJ is giving me his full attention. “Well?”

  “You’re so impatient. So, we’ve been trying to find the dealers who’ve been supplying Mia with drugs. Stef was...”

  DJ cuts me off. “What I wouldn’t do to that chick. Fuck me, she’s so fucken hot. I’d take her from every which way until I make that girl scream.”

  I wish he didn’t have to show me how he’d fuck Stef. It’s something a brother never needs to see. “Anyway,” I press until I have his attention. “Stef informed us that G-Mod moron is one of Mia’s biggest suppliers. When the asshole announced he was attending a pop-up show, we turned up, and we cleared the room.”

  Chase leans in and hands DJ his bourbon and Coke. “How’d that pan out?”

  “Chase choked him and assured him that he’d finish the job if he ever dealt to Mia again,” I shrug.

  DJ punches the air. “Fuck Yeah! If you do need to slit the bitch, you’d better not try to go without me. I totally want to be an accomplice to that shit!”

  “We’ll keep it in mind,” Chase assures him with a chuckle.

  “Good. Now, how’s Mia? Is she settling in to the rehab Okay?” DJ asks before taking a long sip of his drink.

  Shaking my head, I’m unsure of what I should say. “No idea. They took her in and assured us that they’d take care of her. We’re following the treatment programs rules.”

  “Are you kidding me, right now? You two shoved her into a treatment centre at the lowest part of her life and you’re letting a bunch of fucking strangers decide what happens to her? Fucked up or not, she’s got to be scared.”

  He’s right, and as I share a look with Chase, I know he agrees with DJ. “We need to do something.” I can’t believe we left her.

  “Oh hell no. I know what you two are thinking. She’s been there a few days now, the time for you to be there for you is past, she’ll be sobering up and ready to kill the both of you. No, neither of you are going down there. You know she’s pissed; she won’t agree to see either of you, but I know she ‘will’ say yes to seeing me,” he places his glass onto the glass coffee table before him.

  “What? What the hell makes you think she’ll want to see you?” He’s tripping.

  “I’ve been keeping close tabs on Mia. Did you really think she stayed alive to her own merit? Umm, no.”

  I want to punch the smug look off my brother’s face. “Are you fucking with me? You know we’ve been looking for her and you didn’t say jack shit to us!” I cannot believe this bullshit!

  “Hey,” he holds his hands up in defence. “I knew she was in New York, but I didn’t know her exact location. And for your information, she was the one that called me first! She wanted someone to talk to, someone that’s been through this addiction and managed to come out good on the other side. She needed someone to tell her they understood what she was facing, what she was trying to cope with. I couldn’t break that confidence, or she’d feel like she couldn’t turn to anyone and we both know how that would have ended.”

  My head drops, a sigh leaves my chest. “She’d be dead,” I whisper. It’s true.

  That asshole brother of mine is a pain in the ass, except for when it comes to Mia. DJ and Mia, except when he’s trying to nail her, have always shared a close bond. He likes her because she never treated him differently after his accident, where everyone else handled him with kid gloves. It’s something he’s always appreciated. And to tell you the truth, so did I.

  After his accident, my father, stepmother and brother spent a lot of time in LA and Mia immediately had ramps installed in her home to accommodate his wheelchair.

  She knew he’d want to come and hang out with us when he was ready, and that he’d make us treat it as just another day, but the moment he saw what she’d done for him in her home, well, it’s always been something he’s held dear to him.

  “What facility is she staying at? I want a number.”

  Knowing my brother is right, Chase gives him the number, and to my surprise, the staff at the facility agree to let him meet with Mia the next day. But there is a catch, he’s only allowed to talk to her for twenty minutes. But we figure it’s better than nothing.

  Chapter Eight

  Carter

  The next morning, we’re up and dressed early. DJ stayed the night, and he spent the night watching movies and ordering copious amounts of room service.

  Once we’ve arrived at the rehab facility, both Chase and I are told to stay in the waiting area, and it’s at that moment, my asshole of a brother continues to wheel himself behind the orderly sticking his tongue out at me.

  “He’s such an ass!” I whisper shout as I go to sit on the sofa that I’d camped out on when Mia was first admitted.

  “Yup, I couldn’t agree more, but he’s all we’ve got, so please try to ‘not’ kill him anytime soon, since he’s the only one Mia will meet with,” Chase chuckles as he takes a seat beside me.

  “Fine,” I huff as I lean back in the chair and wait impatiently.

  Mia

  Knowing DJ is coming to see me, makes me feel both nervous and relieved. Nervous because I know Carter and Chase have probably been hounding him since the minute both myself and my doctors agreed to me seeing him and relieved because DJ is the only person I can trust.

  As I sit in the living area of the ground floor where visiting hours take place, I smile. I smile so wide the moment I catch eyes with DJ as he wheels himself towards me.

  I’d get up and offer to push him, but I know just how much he hates to be pitied.

  “What’s going on, goddess whose ass I dream about?” Yup, that’s his way of saying he missed me.

  Standing, I wait until he comes to a halt before me. Leaning in, I give him a warm hug, and I linger.

  Having DJ embrace me, makes my heart flutter and I feel a wave of calm come over me. “I’m so glad to see you,” I whisper through the tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

  “Stop being such a sook. That’s not the Mia I know,” he jokes as he tenderly pats my back.

  Taking a seat, I kick the chair at the table aside to give him room. “So, what the hell?” He blurts, throwing his hands in the air.

  “Ask your brother and then tell my brother he’s an asshole.” It’s simple.

  “I did, that’s why I’m here. And I know you’re going to hate me for this, but you need to get your shit together, girl. I know you’ve had it hard, but I can’t let you die on me. This,” he waves his arms around in the air towards the psychiatrists office, “is the perfect place for you to be in. You need help, girl. There’s partying and then there’s what you’ve been doing. I couldn’t live with myself if I kept letting you spiral. You deserve to live your perfect life. You deserve to be with Carter...”

  I cut him off. “No,” I shake my head. “Nothing you say will ever convince me that I deserve Carter. I don’t. There is so much you don’t know, so much I can’t bring myself to say aloud. But if you knew, you’d probably give up on me too. And I wouldn’t blame you.”

  He leans forward, and he takes my hands in his. “No. I could never cut you out.” I k
now he ‘thinks’ this is the case, but if he knew everything I’ve been through and done since arriving in New York, he’d be gone.

  “Yeah, you could. You just don’t know it yet.”

  “You’re an idiot. No matter what’s gone down, I know you wouldn’t go out of your way to hurt anyone. Then there’s the fact that you won’t ever be able to stop both me and Carter from making sure you’re okay.”

  “Carter,” I whisper as my chest feels tight. “Carter needs to gain some common sense. You need to tell him that he’s wasting his time chasing me. Carters a good guy, a good guy that needs to forget about me and go out and find someone who’s normal. Someone who deserves his attention, someone who he doesn’t need to spend all his time caring for.” I need him out of my life, it’s for his own good.

  DJ lets go of a chuckle. “Yeah, we both know that isn’t going to happen. You need to get some intense therapy so you can get passed everything you’ve been though. Other than using pills and alcohol, you’ve never dealt with your fathers’ suicide or the fact that your mom up and left without an ounce of warning. I know you can do it. I know you’re strong enough to push past the bullshit. I need you to promise me that you’ll at least try. That you’ll at least think about getting sober and ‘staying’ sober.” He pushes, knowing he’s the only person that can get away with pushing me to my limits.

  Weakened by the very thoughts of Carter, I slouch in my seat. “I can’t promise you that I will fully let myself be submerged into the crappy process they have going on here. But I can promise you I’ll try.” It’s the best he’ll get from me.

  “It’s all I can ask of you.”

  Just minutes later, I was told that the visit was over, and that DJ could be placed on the visitors list. They also informed us that he’d be welcome to return when the facilities official visiting hours are to take place.

  When the goodbyes were said and ice gone back to my room, I managed to lay down on my bed in the empty suite and stare up at the ceiling thinking about how my life was supposed to go. Thinking about how I was going to marry Carter. How we wanted to start a family together, and how I knew we would have loved those babies with everything within us, but sadly, the picture-perfect life we’d imagined will never come to fruition. I’m not any use to anyone anymore, and it’s something I need to come to terms with.

  Carter

  As I wait for DJ to finish his visit with Mia, I turn my phone on and when I do, the damn thing blows up with missed calls and text messages from a number unknown.

  As I call my voicemail, my head drops out of frustration when I hear the voice on the other end of the line.

  “You can’t hide from me, Carter. You can try, but we both know I’ll find you. We belong together and the sooner you figure that out, the sooner we can stop this shit and start our happy ever after. Bye, baby.”

  I drop the phone into my lap, my hands now running through my hair out of sheer frustration.

  “Dude, what’s going on?” Chase asks, concerned.

  “It’s that Chelsea chick I told you about. She’s back, and she’s determined. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I say shaking my head. Looking back, finding a woman to use as an empty out, wasn’t my finest moment.

  Chelsea agreed to a no strings attached arraignment, because I am a guy after all. I explained to her that Mia was and is the only one for me, but this bitch thinks she can change my mind. And I don’t know how to clarify that I harbour no feelings for her whatsoever.

  Chase shakes his head. “Girls say they’re okay with the whole ‘friends without benefits’ arrangement, but ninety-nine percent of them are talking shit. Chicks truly believe they can change a guy’s mind when it comes to keeping them around for casual sex. They believe they will be the one to turn you into a one-woman man. If she keeps going, you’re going to have to get a lawyer involved. It’s getting creepy, dude. Not to mention the fact that you’ve already got a shit load to deal with as it is.”

  “I know. But the last thing I ‘want’ to have to deal with is her and her obsessive bullshit.” Fuck. My. Life.

  Just then, I hear the double wooden doors open, and in wheels DJ.

  Standing, both Chase and I meet him. “Everything okay?” Chase questions worried for his sister’s mental state.

  “I think she’ll be okay. But I don’t think the detox has begun. On my way out, I asked if her doctor would be able to come out and give you an update. She shouldn’t be that calm, it’s unnerving. She should be bent over the toilet seat throwing up. She should also be sweating but there’s no sign of it,” he explains only making me worry even more.

  “You think she’s gotten her hands on something?” Chase asks, but his tone sounds like he’s exhausted.

  “I reckon she has, but I’m no doctor,” DJ shrugs.

  When the double doors once again open, Dr McAlister, the man that first came to explain Mia’s condition when she was first admitted enters the main reception area.

  DJ turns, “Hey, doc. Over here,” he calls.

  “Hi, boys. DJ here asked if we could have a quick chat.”

  My brows bunch. I still cannot get over the fact that this guy is the one in charge of Mia’s rehabilitation. He looks like he should still be in school. I guess I’ll just try to get over it.

  “Yes, please,” DJ chirps.

  Leaning in, Chase outstretches his hand. The child looking doctor accepts the gesture. “Hey, doc. Thanks for coming out to see us.”

  “Not a problem at all. We aren’t just here for Mia, but we’re here for you too. What questions do you have, I’ll do my best to answer them for you,” He then slips his hands in his pockets as his back straightens.

  “As you know, DJ was just in with Mia and he brought up a good point. One we’d like answers to.”

  “Hmmm.” The doctor hums.

  DJ cuts in. “Look, doc. I know I’m no expert, but the one thing I ‘do’ know is that girl in there,” he points to the double doors, “shouldn’t be sitting at a table talking to me in a calm manner. Mia ‘is’ a hard-core addict. She should have been starting detox twelve hours after she was thrown in here. Either you’re a fucken miracle worker or she’s managed to get a hold of some drugs or alcohol.”

  The doctor nods in agreement, but I’m not sure whether he agrees with DJs reasonings, or if he’s just amusing us. “You’re one hundred percent right.” He then looks to Chase. “Since you have power of attorney, I’m able to divulge information. Would you like us to step aside?” he offers politely.

  “No, we’re good. They know everything,” he assures the doctor while nodding his head in our direction.

  “Okay, well, Mia managed to sneak in some drugs. How? We don’t know. She was found unconscious in her room and I was alerted of the situation immediately. I’ve set up a psychiatric review for her which is mandatory. She will need to play along, or she will be placed into confinement. I know it doesn’t sound nice, but it’s affective. Mia clearly doesn’t wish to play by other’s rules. She’s convinced herself of the fact that she’s not worth and she’s not deserving of love and attention, when we all know she’s capable of doing anything. She’s a bright girl, and it will be our job to make sure she knows and that she takes in the fact that she’s just as deserving as anyone else. It’s going to be a long road. However, I’m confident she will make a full recovery, and that she’s capable of being sober, but it’s not going to come easy.”

  Before Chase can open his mouth, I jump in, my blood fuming. “How the fuck did she manage to get drugs inside? She was stripped because she’d vomited all over the clothes she was admitted in? And I it couldn’t have come from the belongings I’d brought in that same night because everything was brand spanking new. So how, how did she get pills?” I demand. I went to every store myself and I picked out some outfits I knew she’d appreciate.

  Mia has a banging body, but she’s never thought so, and she’s always tried to cover herself up as to not draw attention. The bags were filled
with oversized knitted sweaters, leggings and loose-fitting shirts. There was no way she could have gotten the drugs from there. We need answers.

  DJ turns, “Hey, doc. Over here,” he calls.

  “Hi, boys. DJ here asked if we could have a quick chat.”

  My brows bunch. I still cannot get over the fact that this guy is the one in charge of Mia’s rehabilitation. He looks like he should still be in school. I guess I’ll just try to get over it.

  “Yes, please,” DJ chirps.

  Leaning in, Chase outstretches his hand. The child looking doctor accepts the gesture. “Hey, doc. Thanks for coming out to see us.”

  “Not a problem at all. We aren’t just here for Mia, but we’re here for you too. What questions do you have, I’ll do my best to answer them for you,” He then slips his hands in his pockets as his back straightens.

  “As you know, DJ was just in with Mia and he brought up a good point. One we’d like answers to.”

  “Hmmm.” The doctor hums.

  DJ cuts in. “Look, doc. I know I’m no expert, but the one thing I ‘do’ know is that girl in there,” he points to the double doors, “shouldn’t be sitting at a table talking to me in a calm manner. Mia ‘is’ a hard-core addict. She should have been starting detox twelve hours after she was thrown in here. Either you’re a fucken miracle worker or she’s managed to get a hold of some drugs or alcohol.”

  The doctor nods in agreement, but I’m not sure whether he agrees with DJs reasonings, or if he’s just amusing us. “You’re one hundred percent right.” He then looks to Chase. “Since you have power of attorney, I’m able to divulge information. Would you like us to step aside?” he offers politely.

  “No, we’re good. They know everything,” he assures the doctor while nodding his head in our direction.

  “Okay, well, Mia managed to sneak in some drugs. How? We don’t know. She was found unconscious in her room and I was alerted of the situation immediately. I’ve set up a psychiatric review for her which is mandatory. She will need to play along, or she will be placed into confinement. I know it doesn’t sound nice, but it’s affective. Mia clearly doesn’t wish to play by other’s rules. She’s convinced herself of the fact that she’s not worth and she’s not deserving of love and attention, when we all know she’s capable of doing anything. She’s a bright girl, and it will be our job to make sure she knows and that she takes in the fact that she’s just as deserving as anyone else. It’s going to be a long road. However, I’m confident she will make a full recovery, and that she’s capable of being sober, but it’s not going to come easy.”