Tainted

by Kallie Mathers

  Confused, my head tilts to the side, “Ex-boyfriend? My mom hasn’t dated anyone since my parents divorced.”

  The doc gives me a sad smile. “Sara warned me about this.”

  “Warned you about what?” He’s as nuts as she is.

  “Your mom didn’t want me to tell you that she’s had many suitors over the years. However, she always chose to keep those relationships hidden from you.”

  What the fuck? Why would she hide such a thing from me? None of this shit makes any sense. “Why? Why would she keep such a thing from me?”

  “You have to remember that Sara doesn’t think like we do. She explained to me that she didn’t want you to think she never loved your father. To her, you will always be the young boy she brought up before her illness took hold. But there’s something more I need to tell you. Something that has come to light since your mother was admitted.”

  My stomach churns. “Shit. What, what’s wrong with her?”

  “Your mom has been undergoing tests over the last week. I’ve consulted with fellow doctors making sure I wasn’t wrong, but it seems that your mom is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease.”

  My heart thumps against my ribs, my stomach threatening to expel the contents. “She’s forty-five. You need to check and recheck the results. My mom can’t have Alzheimer’s.” He must be fucking with me. My mom must have put him up to it.

  “We have checked and rechecked. Hell, I even had her do another CAT scan just to be sure. I’m very sorry.” He then reaches over to the lamp table beside him, and he picks up a Manila file. “I have the results here, if you wish to go over them yourself,” he politely offers.

  Waving him off, I tell him, “No, I trust you, Doc. I guess it’s just a lot to take in. So, where do we go from here? I don’t know much about the diseases other than the fact that it ruins people’s lives, especially in terms of having mobility, and their memory lapse. My grandmother on my father’s side had it, and it was hard to watch her as she deteriorated. And let me tell you, doc, it was quick. From diagnosis to her death, was just under two years.” And it then hits me, “Fuck, how long will Sara be able bodied for? Surely she has a fair amount of time considering her age.”

  I can’t do this. I can’t watch her deteriorate. But I know I must find a way to cope, she’s my mother, and she’s always shown me nothing but love and support. It’s my turn to look after her even though it will be a difficult task since Mia is still in care.

  The doctor seems worried, which now has me feeling like I will be sick, everywhere.

  “I want to tell you that your mom has a long period of normalcy ahead of her, but with her mental illness, I feel it will accelerate the disease.”

  “Can you dumb the disease down for me. I have a fair idea of what happens, but I want to be sure.”

  “Of course. Neurodegenerative disorders are conditions in which cells in the brain break down, causing problems with how people move, think, feel or behave. In time, she will need full time care...”

  I interrupt him. “She already has a nurse that comes to the house when I can’t be there.” I’d tried calling Nancy when I was on my way back to LA, without answer. I wanted her to explain what had happened and why she wasn’t there to stop Sara from leaving the house at night.

  I guess I must re-evaluate the situation regarding her employment. If she couldn’t stop Sara from doing what she’d done, then how the hell would she cope when Sara’s mind worsens?

  “I understand that. I know you want nothing but the best for her, but we will need to put a full-time nurse in once she begins to deteriorate. That’s something I ‘can’ help you with because I know both you and your mom won’t want her to be permanently placed into care.”

  He knows me well. “Correct. Sara is nothing but kind, but it can get on people’s nerves when she constantly talks to them. When she’s off her meds, she wants nothing more than to interact with others, but she’s a lot to take.”

  “I understand. Is there anything I can do to help you right now or would you like to go and visit with your mom?”

  “She’s not being released?” I question, feeling confused. He just acknowledged that both me and my mom would prefer she stay at home. Maybe ‘he’s’ the one with dementia.

  “Not just yet. I’d like to keep her here for a couple of days until we’re able to make sure her medications are in her system and I’ve also had to put a drip in her arm. When she was brought in, she was a tad dehydrated.”

  “What the hell? Where was Nancy, her nurse? None of this makes a lick of sense. Nancy has never let me down like this. I need to get a hold of her. I may also need to replace her. That ‘is’ something I will need your help with.” I don’t know where to start. The doc was the one to find and hire Nancy for us because I didn’t know where to start.

  “I’ll get right on it. I’ll have a few home helpers come in and we can meet with them together so I can make sure they have the skills to care for Sara, and so that you can get a feel for them and make sure they’re a good fit.”

  “Perfect. I’m available anytime.” Fuck me. I know I want to get back to New York, but at the same time, I don’t want to leave my mom when she’s at her most vulnerable. I will have to put a call in to my father and heed his advice.

  Once I’d explained the type of person I know my mom could get along with, nurse wise, with the doctor, I said goodbye and I head over to my mother’s room.

  As I walk through the entrance to her room with three other patients, my heart sinks when I see she’s dancing around wearing only an opened back gown. Fortunately, this time, she’s wearing underwear. But to know that she will deteriorate and turn into someone else pains me.

  Part of me wants to let her continue dancing around without a care, but I can see that the man beside her who would be here only for mental issues, doesn’t seem all that thrilled with my mother’s performance. I know firsthand, just how fast situations can become out of hand in a place like this.

  “Mom,” I call.

  She continues to dance but she does turn around, and when she does, her smile beams the moment she spots me. “My baby boy!” She exclaims.

  She’s always been beautiful. She has long blond locks and she has always had fast metabolism. Just like Mia, the pair could down a mountain of cheese but neither ever gain weight.

  When she reaches me, she wraps me up in her arms and I fight back the tears that are welling in the corners of my eyes. “Hey, mom. How are you feeling?”

  She pulls away, keeping her hands on my shoulders. She cocks her head to the side, something she does when she senses I’m having trouble dealing with something.

  “How’s Mia?” She asks as she runs her hands up and down my arms, something she used to do when I was cold as a child.

  “She’ll be okay. We got her some much-needed help up in New York.”

  “Come, sit. And tell me everything,” she then urges me towards her bed where I take a seat on the edge and she jumps up at the top end and crosses her legs under her. “So, what kind of help did you get for Mia?”

  I take in a sharp breath of air. “We placed her into a rehab facility...”

  My mom cuts me off, “Ohhh, she’s not going to like that.”

  “You’re not wrong. Chase went ahead and gained power of attorney. She can’t leave, and because of that, she’s refusing to put us on the visitors list. The only person she’ll see is DJ.” I explain.

  “That doesn’t surprise me in the least. He’s been where she is. He’s the only person she can relate to her situation, so naturally, he’s the perfect choice,” she shrugs.

  My head lowers, “I know. But I want to see her, I want her to trust me. I want her to know she can confide in me.” My eyes close.

  Suddenly, I feel my mother’s hand rest on my forearm, and when I look up at her, I can’t help but smile. She’s beaming. “She ‘will’ come back to you. She ‘will’ want to be with you because you have always been her one true love. Y
ou need to be patient with Mia. Keep your distance, but also make sure she knows you’ll be waiting for her.”

  “I will, thanks mom. Now, where the hell was Nancy when you went off to your ex boyfriends?” My mouth slams shut. Shit, I forgot I wasn’t supposed to mention that, but it’s out now, and I need answers.

  “How do you know about my...” she cuts herself off before continuing, “Fucking doctors. What happened to doctor patient confidentiality?” Damn, she’s mad now. I need to diffuse the situation before she tries to beat Dr Ralmos, black and blue for letting go of her ‘secret’.

  “Mom, I don’t know why you thought you needed to hide the fact that you were dating men from me, but I can assure you, I wouldn’t have cared. Dad moved onto Mary and I was okay with that. Why, why did you hide it from me?” I need her to know she can tell me anything.

  “I’m a mom. Yes, I’m certified crazy, but first and foremost, I’m a mom and I have always put you first. Except for those times I’d be off my meds, for whatever reason. Which is something I need to apologise for...” I cut her off.

  Shaking my head, I tell her, “No, there is nothing for you to be sorry for. Your condition isn’t something you should ever feel you need to make amends for. You’re sick. You’ve never hurt me. You’ve never hurt anyone else even when you’re off your meds. You have the kindest heart. You’ve never gone out of your way to intentionally hurt anyone, let alone me.”

  Tears trickle down her cheeks and she throws her arms around me. “Thank you, my boy. I love you.”

  “I love you too, mom. But I need to ask,” she pulls away so she can look at me. “Where was Nancy when all the craziness was going down?” I need to know whether I have to replace her. Yes, we will be bringing on a full-time nurse, but we will need someone else there to take over when the nurse needs to rest.

  It’s my mother’s turn to drop her head. “Poor girl.” She then looks up at me. “Please don’t fire her, none of this was her fault. I accidentally dropped her phone into the sink. I thought it was mine. They look so much alike. I was trying to soak the dishes, but I dropped it. I thought she was going to get angry at me, but she didn’t. She told me it was okay and that she had insurance. I told her to go and get another one and that I’d be okay for half an hour alone.” She grabs onto my forearm with both hands. “This isn’t her fault,” she reiterates. “I really like Nancy, please don’t get rid of her. She’s one of the only people I can confide in. Please?” She begs.

  “Okay, Okay, mom. I promise I won’t fire her.” I won’t do that to her. I’m relieved that Nancy’s phone was broken. It explains everything. Poor kid, she’s probably terrified. I must somehow get a hold of her and assure her that she’s still employed. “So, where did the alcohol come from? You know you’re a sloppy drunk, mom?” She has a history of doing bizarre things while buzzed.

  “I grabbed an Uber and I had him stop at the bottle shop. Honestly, I thought I’d be okay with one glass of wine, but it’s now obvious I can’t even have a drop of the stuff. I guess I’ll have to act as if I’m going sober, but without the AA meetings.”

  Yup, everything has now fallen into place. “Maybe that’s a good idea. I’m worried about your safety, mom. And your drinking only makes me worry more. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” It’s going to be hard to watch her as she deteriorates, but I need to live in the now. I’m glad we kept her most recent diagnoses from her. Yes, eventually we must share the news with her, but for now, I don’t want her to worry.

  Finally, when I leave the hospital, on my way over to my house (I moved my mother in with me not too long ago. I bought a big house, and I wanted to get her the best care, and I also wanted her to live close. I’ve always shared a close bond with my mom, and I didn’t want us to grow distant to one another simply because I moved out of home) I use the voice control to call Chase as I drive.

  After a couple of rings, he picks up.

  “Dude, how are you? How’s Sara?”

  “It’s fucked up news, my man. I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back to New York any time soon.”

  “Shit, lay it on me.”

  “She’s got dementia. And because of her mental condition, the doc thinks it could take hold of her sooner rather than later.”

  “Fuck me. Shit, I’m so sorry to hear that. Look, I know you have great doctors looking after her, but maybe you can get a second opinion? You never know. I mean, I know I would, but it’s completely up to you.” He pauses, and when he does, I hear him let go of a sigh. “Holy hell, that’s the last thing I was expecting to hear. I’m in shock.”

  “You’re telling me. But I do think we should see the best of the best. I’ll get to doing some research when I get to the house. I have a couple of things to take care of, but they shouldn’t take too long. Have you heard from Mia? I know I’ve only been gone a few hours, but…” he cuts me off.

  “I have, well, one of the nurses called and for whatever reason, she’s put me on the visitors list for tomorrow.”

  “Shit, well that’s a sign of improvement. I’m glad she’s decided to see you. Hopefully, it’ll go well.”

  “If she asks about you, can I tell her about Sara’s condition? I know she’d be pissed if she found out I deliberately avoided the subject. You know how stubborn she can be.”

  “That she is, and if she asks and you think she can handle it, go for it. I’ll leave it up to your discretion.”

  “No problem. If there’s anything I can do to help from here, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m just a call away.”

  “Thanks, I might need you. For what, I don’t know, but I’m sure some fucked up bullshit will be coming my way.”

  “Day or night.”

  “Thanks. I’ll call you when I know more.”

  “No probs. Catch ya.”

  “See ya,” and we hang up.

  Chapter Eleven

  Carter

  When I pull into my driveway, my heart sinks when I see Nancy sitting on the front stoop, crying her heart out.

  As soon as I pull the car to a stop and I turned off the engine, I hop out of my car and I run over to her.

  “Nancy!”

  She raises her head, and her shoulders are rising and falling with her sobs. “I’m so sorry, Carter. I’m so sorry. I can’t get in the house and I don’t have anyone’s numbers because they’re all saved to my electronics that are in the house,” she throws her thumb over her shoulder toward the front door.

  Kneeling on the ground in front of her, I throw my arms around the poor girl who looks as if she’s had a mental breakdown. It shows me the type of girl she is. She’s the one to care for my mom. She’s so upset, I couldn’t bring myself to let her go. “It’s okay. I’m guessing you got locked out?”

  Furiously, she nods, and he looks up at me, her eyes red rimmed. “I’m so sorry. I left to grab a burner phone from the store. I knew it would take too long to deal with the insurance part, so I figured I could grab a temporary one and use your moms’ phone to transfer all the important contacts. I was gone fifteen minutes, if that. If I knew this was going to happen…”

  “It’s okay. It’s okay. I get it, she’s crafty like that. This isn’t your fault, none of this is your fault. You’ve always done right by both my mom and me. You have nothing to worry about, you still have your job, you’re still very welcome to stay with us. Personally, I would love for you to stay on. Mom is a handful and so far, you’re the only one that’s been able to put her in her place. I’ll give you a couple of extra spare keys and I have a plethora of extra, brand new in box phones, iPads and anything else you could ever need. I want you to help yourself. They were given to me as gifts for tweeting the products. I’ll never use them all and let’s face it, a new phone will be put on the market and they’ll be obsolete. Take them all.”

  Nancy let's go of a chuckle. “No, I think one phone will suffice. Thank you for being so understanding, and I truly am sorry about your mom getting out. Is she ok
ay?”

  “First up, make sure you take two of everything. One lot for you and one lot for that cool as hell boyfriend of yours.” Nancy‘s boyfriend Callum is as nice as they come. Every night he arrives to pick her up (when I’m home and can look out for Sara). Hell, I offered to take her home saving him the trip, but he likes taking her out for dinner those nights and he’s been nothing but nice to both my mom and me.

  “Thank you, Carter.”

  “Come on, let’s get you some keys and new electronics.” I wink.

  Once I have her up, I needed to use the bathroom, bad.

  As soon as I’ve finished doing my business, I meet Nancy in the kitchen where she sits up on the counter, I stand on the opposite side where I open the bottle of beer she had graciously pulled out of the locked, hidden refrigerator. “So, I need to fill you in. I want you to have full disclosure so you can make a decision that is right for you.” I take a long sip of the liquid gold and as I do, I can see that Nancy is confused.

  “What the hell are you talking about, Carter? You’re scaring me. Did you give me all that cool shit to soften the blow for whatever’s about to come?” poor girl looks terrified.

  Shaking my head, I place the bottle down onto the counter and I rest my hands on the cool surface. “You’re not going anywhere, not if I can help it. When I was up at the hospital, the doc pulled me aside and he told me that my mom is in the beginning stages of dementia.”

  Her hand smacks across her mouth and her eyes well with tears. “No, not Sara? She doesn’t deserve that. But how can that be? She’s only forty-five, how the hell does a person who is young and fit, despite the mental illness, get diagnosed with dementia?” she blurts.

  “That was my first question. I couldn’t and still can’t wrap my head around it all. The worst part is that her doctors think it could accelerate faster rather than someone without the mental issues she has.” I don’t know where to go from here. I need to talk to my father soon and seek his guidance on the matter.