ROCKED BY GRACE (LOVE AND CHAOS SERIES Book 1)

by M. J. Schiller

  But I had to remind myself normal people took things slow. And I wanted her to know this time was different.

  “Grace, I know I should take this slow. But I’m not good at this. I’ve never done it.” I shifted so I was on my side, propped by my elbow. To be honest, I was nervous. Zane Sanders, gun shy. “But I want to try. I think we have something here. Something special. And I want to make sure before we do anything you could regret, that you’re ready.”

  “I was ready the moment you pulled me out of that audience.”

  In some respects, that made me feel better. In others, it made me wonder if she was taking this as seriously as I was. I kissed her then ran my gaze over her body again. “You’re so damned beautiful, Grace. I’m afraid to touch something so perfect.”

  She led me to her breast. “But I need you to touch me, Zane.” She looked at me with such longing. “I need you.”

  I was determined this time would be different, because I was different. I was…happy with her. I slowly brought my head to her chest, kissing the side of her breast and pouring my heart into everything I did. It was more like worship than sex. My hand skimmed over her stomach. It aroused me, too. Velvety skin, the indention of her waist, her belly button…I could spend a half hour kissing her only there, but I sensed Grace’s impatience. I wouldn’t let her hurry me, though.

  She moaned, her lips turning up when she asked, “Is this sex or torture?”

  I brought my mouth to her ear and nibbled on her lobe. “Both.”

  “Ooh.”

  I took her mouth again. Soft, languid kisses meant to pull her to me little by little. At some point, she quit fighting me and gave in, synching with my rhythm. Kissing me in the same measured manner, a tease, but a tease with a promise to make good eventually. I nibbled along her jaw and she breathed softly, with her eyes closed. I cupped her breast, molded it with care then brushed my thumb over her silky bra, feeling her nipples, hard, beneath my fingers, separated by the fabric. I licked a finger then traced the top of her bra with it.

  “Oh, my God.” She grabbed my face and kissed me. “You’re making me crazy.”

  I smiled. That’s what I wanted. I wanted her to beg me to satisfy her and then bring her the most intense gratification to make up for the wait. We left the light on, which I was immensely grateful for. I released her bra where it clasped in the front and she shrugged out of it.

  I reconsidered my idea of taking it slow.

  I had to get those breasts away from me if I had any hope of staying in control. “Turn over.”

  She looked at me curiously for a second, then did what she was told. I straddled her, without putting my full weight on her and moved her hair to one side so I could kiss her neck. She moaned. I cruised along her shoulder blades to the small of her back, alternately sinking my teeth in and rolling my tongue over her skin. With each new place I discovered on her body, I wondered at the genius of a woman’s design. All those luscious dips and curves, each one inviting me to taste her. I rolled her underwear off and pitched them aside then gave my full attention to her fabulous round ass, kissing and caressing it. She kicked her head back and clenched her pillowcase in each fist.

  So you like that, do you?

  I memorized each place I produced a reaction from her, and hoped I’d have many more opportunities to reveal new sensitive spots.

  I moved to the side and urged her onto her back, starting again at her neck. “I could do this all night.” I grazed the backs of my fingers across her stomach, playing her like I played my guitar. “Do you want more?”

  “You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?”

  “Often and loudly. But not too loudly, because we don’t want to wake Jamie.”

  “Of course. I’ll keep my pleading low key.”

  I chuckled. I loved that she was playful. I moved on top of her, stretching her arms up to grip the ornate wrought iron headboard. “These stay here and here only.” With a grin, I slid down her body, stopping to breathe on her nipples then lightly brush my lips over them, which made her writhe and whimper. Low laughter shook my chest. “I’m only getting started.”

  “You’re evil.”

  I licked the inside of her thigh.

  “Oh! And so good at it.” One of her hands came to my shoulder. I captured her wrist. “Ah-ah-ah. Now I have to begin all over.” She moaned. I kissed the inside of her wrist, then worked my way up to the elbow, which really set her off. I wrapped my fingers over hers on the bedpost. “Now keep it here. If you’re good, I will reward you.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and I took the opportunity to surprise her and closed my mouth around her nipple, sucking hard. She inhaled sharply. I released it and moved to the other side, lazily circling her nipple with my tongue, then lapping at it a couple of times before sucking.

  “Oh, yeah. That.”

  This teasing her was equally torturous for me. I was so hard for her. I left her breast and she breathed in deeply, relaxing from her straining against me.

  We can’t have that.

  I rolled to the side and she started to reach for me. I shook a finger. “Put it back.” She did with a frown. I wouldn’t make her wait much longer. Couldn’t. I leaned over her to whisper in her ear. “I’m going to make love to you until your fucking legs are Jell-O…” I put my hand between her thighs and alternately stroked and slid my finger inside her. She was so ready for me I stifled a moan. “…and you can’t even remember your own name.” She sighed then panted, her face scrunched up as she recovered from the stimulation.

  “Do your arms hurt? You can put them down now.”

  “When do I get to torture you?”

  “Oh, believe me, you already are.” I slid farther. “I want you, Grace. I want to fill you and please you, but first I want this.” I dipped and flicked my tongue over her, then slipped my finger in again, moving it in and out more insistently.

  She slapped her palm on my shoulder and dug her nails in. “Oh, God.” Her panting increased, her calls pitching higher. Then she clutched my hair. “Oh, my gosh. That feels so good. …Oh, Zane.” She released, tilting her head back. I clamped my hand between her legs and moved my palm against her. I’d learned that prolonged things. “Oh. O-oh.” I watched her until she came down, gasping for air, but with a smile on her face.

  I reached for my jeans and pulled a condom out of my pocket. “This is always the awkward part.”

  She took it from me and sat. “It doesn’t need to be.” She put the end in her mouth and tore the packaging while looking at me. Who knew opening a condom could be so sexy? She removed it and grabbed me, carefully rolling it on then stroking me. I closed my eyes and breathed in. Yes, I wanted her to touch me, too. To know me. All of me.

  But she was too good, and I didn’t think I could hold on much longer. “Honey, unless you’re ready for this to be over right now, you need to stop.”

  She smirked and slowly lay back. I straddled her on my knees but changed my plans and brought myself between her breasts. She shut her eyes and pressed her breasts in around me. I rocked against her, cozied in her bosom.

  I sighed. “Oh, that’s good.”

  This seemed to turn her on because she drew her knees in behind me and rocked her pelvis in time with me, both of us making noises of pleasure and desire. But I wanted to be one with her. I stopped my motion and fondled her gorgeous mounds, gently flicking her nipple while I squeezed her. I scooted back and she straightened her legs to accommodate me.

  As I came to lie on top of her, I caught her off guard by taking a quick lick and suck at each breast, applying pressure with my teeth even as I brought myself up and into her. Then I had to stop so I could concentrate on how good it felt to bury myself in her. She sighed, too, then made some noises of surprise and pleasure as it seemed some new tremors ran through her. I kept my arms extended so I could watch her as I brought her to peak again, and moved my body forward, knowing the more contact I had with her, the more stimulated she would be. Instead of
driving straight and hard, like I wanted to, I slowed again, dipping my hips and bringing them back in a fluid motion.

  She arched her back, her need etched on her face as she called out to me and grabbed my ass, trying to bring me in even deeper. Slowly I increased the pace, writhing against her. I was barely holding on and wasn’t sure if I would make it when she tensed around me and exclaimed. I rushed to finish so my completion would bring her to a still more exquisite ecstasy. Her muscles tightened, becoming like cables as she breathed through her climax.

  “Oh! Oh, God, yes. Oh.” She panted, melting into the bed, a puddle of relaxation in direct contrast to her total tension of moments before. She laughed, threading her fingers through my hair and pulling me to her chest. After a moment or two, she released me, still trying to catch her breath, and I withdrew from her—the breaking of our bond almost painful—and rolled off to the side.

  I was breathing hard, also. We turned our heads on the pillows to look at each other. It was the first time I was driven to supply someone else’s needs and it filled me with pleasure to know I had accomplished that.

  “That was—” She broke into a huge smile. “Oh, my God…amazing.”

  I found the strength to rise a little. “You are amazing.” I kissed her forehead and fell against her. This was new. This feeling of utter satisfaction—not simply physical. I was filled with warmth and a sensation of completeness. That hole inside of me, that edge of bitterness and the sorrow and anxiety of feeling lost and alone—she filled that, brought comfort to my soul, in a totally unfamiliar but welcome way.

  Later, when we extinguished the light and pulled the covers up around us, I thought about how I could express what I was feeling to her. She was lying in my arms as I stroked her hair, my lips resting against her head. I had this overwhelming need to care for and treasure her. I never thought that could be me. I thought I was missing some essential gene.

  She rolled onto her side, slinging her leg over me, lacing her fingers on my chest and planting her chin on them. “In the four years I lived here, I never once brought a man back to my place because of…what Brad did to me. I was scared, disappointed with life, disillusioned by what I thought was love.” We left the bathroom light on with the door cracked, so I could make out her face. She was staring into my eyes, hers tearing. “You gave me the desire and the courage to change that.”

  It was sweet, and offered lovingly, but something pricked me about it. The “you gave me” and not “you’re giving me.” As if this was a one act show and I was about to exit stage left. Preoccupied by these thoughts I responded, “I’m glad I could be of assistance.”

  She chuckled, inching closer to kiss me. “You were of assistance. Numerous times, in fact.”

  Exhausted, we were both drifting off when Grace mumbled, “Zane?”

  “Mmm.”

  “Are you laying like a four?” She tapped my foot with hers.

  One of my knees was bent under my other leg which was straight. “Yes, I guess so.”

  “Me, too.” Her words were getting slower. “We’re a pair of fours.” And she was out. Breathing evenly, with her foot touching mine.

  I quirked a brow. “That’s an interesting observation.”

  She rolled over and snuggled into my side. I played with her hair. I came so close to saying something, but the words stayed in my mouth. In the end I held her close and we fell asleep like that, with her draped across my chest, a smile on my lips.

  Someone was shaking me.

  Oh, shit. If she was all a dream I’m gonna be pissed.

  “Shit. Zane, wake up. We can’t let Jamie see you.”

  She was in full on freak out mode and it was adorable. “I shouldn’t have done this.” She covered her face with her hands and cried.

  I sat and put my arm around her. “Come on, now. No one died. And no way will I regret a single thing I did last night. Not one second.”

  She stilled, brushing a tear away. “You’re right.”

  She slayed me. “You know, honey…you’re kind of high strung.” I was trying to make her laugh.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “No, I like you that way.”

  She twisted her head to look at me. “You like that I’m a friggin’ basket case?”

  “Uh-huh. It takes the pressure off me to act sane.” The light from the window made her hair glow. “You’re fucking gorgeous in the morning.” I furrowed my brow. “You know what? This is the first time I’ve ever woken up with a woman.”

  “Gracie? Where’s Zaner?”

  She stared at me with wide eyes, clutching the sheets to those fabulous breasts of hers. “I’m not ready to have that conversation with him yet.”

  “Okay. I’ll go in the bathroom.”

  “Coming, Jamie.”

  When I came into the kitchen, Grace said a little too brightly. “Oh. Good morning, Zane.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Zaner!” Jamie jumped out of his chair and latched on to me.

  I rubbed his hair. “How are you doing, buddy?”

  “Good. Where were you?”

  “Just in the bathroom.”

  “But I checked the bathroom.”

  Grace’s gaze flew to mine, and I almost laughed at the look of sheer alarm on her face. “Oh. Then it must have been when I stepped outside to stretch. How many gajillion pancakes are we having this morning?”

  “Six-hundred and sixty-three,” Jamie responded brightly. He ran back to his chair. So far the only two gears I’d seen the kid in were full throttle and ignition off. I don’t know how Grace did it.

  “Whoa. Your poor sister’s going to be worn out.” He became engrossed again in his coloring. I stepped behind Grace and loosely held on to the counter on either side of her, leaning in to speak in her ear. “You’re so not subtle.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me, and I had to laugh.

  Jamie clicked his tongue. “Gracie,” he said, warning her, “you’re going to wind up on the fire escape.”

  The kid seemed to have a gajillion eyes in his head and supersonic hearing. Nothing got by him. He had to hear her moaning and calling out my name. The thought made me zone out for a minute as a few of the images flashed through my mind. I had to stop because I could feel myself becoming aroused. I stepped over behind Jamie to check out his work. It was a rain foresty scene. I shifted my attention to Grace after a minute or two. She was leaning against the counter, her stare unfocused, but the corners of her lips lifting. Our gazes connected and her smile grew. She had to be thinking about last night, too.

  “Gracie, they’re burning.”

  “What?” She turned. “Oh! Shoot.” She spun with three blackened discs on the spatula she was holding, stepped on the trashcan’s release, and pitched them. Jamie rolled his eyes then got back to work.

  Grace

  Zane’s phone buzzing made us all jump. He slid it out. “Jericho? At this time in the morning? I’m sorry. I better answer this.”

  “No problem.” As he walked away, I watched his fine ass disappear. You’d think I had enough the night before.

  I was actually a little sore. After Zane’s excruciatingly slow seduction of the night before I’d fallen asleep on his chest. Somewhere around two a.m. I woke to Zane’s head between my legs and we went for round two, which was harder and quicker and equally as delicious. He was incredible. In so many ways.

  He was gone for quite a while. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on him, but I brought some scrambled eggs and bacon out for him so they wouldn’t get cold.

  “I know, man. All I’m asking for is a little more time. I’ll finish it in time. I swear.” He must have heard me, because he glanced over, changing the frown on his face to a smile. I set the plate and fork down in front of him. “Thanks, babe.”

  “You want pancakes,” I whispered.

  “Sure.”

  I went back into the kitchen and got another plate for his pancakes. He returned, setting his plate next to Jamie’s and t
aking a chair. After breakfast Jamie was snuggled on the sofa watching a movie and Zane was helping me with the dishes. Sort of. He slid his hands around my waist and moved my hair so he could kiss my neck.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “Zane, if I ask you a question, would you tell me the truth?”

  “Depends on the question. And, by the way, this smells like a trap.”

  I spun, grabbing a towel so I could dry off. “Are we interfering with your work?”

  “We who? Jamie and you? Absolutely not.”

  “Then, why did Jericho call?”

  “Oh, he’s being anal retentive.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  I waited.

  He rolled a shoulder. “The guys were hoping I finished the final song for our new album so we could practice it before the tour started and we could record it after it ends in a few weeks.”

  “And…is it done?”

  A few noises came out of his mouth similar to language. “Practically.”

  “And by practically you mean…?”

  He stared at the floor. “How’s your ankle?”

  I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. “Za-a-ane.”

  He shuffled his feet glancing down. “I have the chorus kind of written.” He raised his head, wincing. “Damn it.” His gaze shifted back and forth. “I have to go.”

  Even though I’d figured that out, is still hurt to hear it. I uncrossed my arms and turned back to the sink, trying to conceal how emotional I was. “I get it.

  “No. You don’t get it. I don’t want to go.”

  I spun to study his face.

  He shrugged. “I like it here.”

  Now the tears really threatened. “But you have responsibilities. You owe it to the band. And you owe it to your fans. And I don’t want to get in the way of that.” I exhaled, dropping my head as I realized the truth of my words. “You have too much talent for it to be squandered.”