Mangled Hearts

by Felicia Tatum

  Shadows moved quickly behind her curtains, leaving me chuckling to myself as I walked up to her door. My knuckles collided with the wood three times, then I stuffed both hands in my pockets. No girl had ever made me this nervous. I even dressed up for our date she wouldn’t let me call a date. My dark jeans were nice, no holes or anything in them, and the black buttoned shirt I wore was always a big hit at bars. I rolled the sleeves up because I remembered she told me it was sexy when I did that. I remembered everything she said, whether I wanted to or not. Hearing the hinges creak, I looked up to see her standing before me. Her blonde waves danced in front of me as her eyes glanced me over.

  “Francesca,” I said, “You look gorgeous.”

  “Thanks…but…” she peered down, then back to me, “we match, Cade.”

  I chuckled, “So? I don’t think anyone is going to think we’re twins. Let’s go.” I held my arm out to escort her to my bike. She hesitantly linked us together at the elbows. I prayed she couldn’t hear the intense beating in my chest. She clicked the lock, checking to make sure it worked, and we started down the steps.

  “Listen, if we need to take your car, it’s ok. Cason had to borrow mine for a few days, so this is all I have,” I explained, watching her from the corner of my eye.

  Pulling her lip in between her teeth, she tensed and chewed as she thought about it. She looked at me, her eyes wide and laced with fear. “Do you have a helmet?” she whispered.

  I grinned widely, “You bet I do! You’re going to love it. It’s so freeing to ride.” I pulled her over, getting the spare and gently placing it on her head. I smoothed her hair down, tucking it behind her ears and snapping the strap. “Adorable.”

  She gave me a half smile and rolled her eyes. “Hardly. You haven’t been drinking, right?” she asked, appearing nervous.

  I shook my head, “I told you I wouldn’t.” I couldn’t stop my finger from caressing her cheek.

  Her eyes closed and she sighed every so softly. It took everything in me to not kiss her right then. Her head leaned into my hands, snuggling me like her cat had. It needed to stop. We were getting lost in each other and our night hadn’t even begun.

  “Come on,” I said, guiding her to the seat with a wink. I hopped on, patting the spot behind me for her to sit. “Just hold on tight. Wrap your arms around my waist and move when I do.”

  “What if I don’t?” she said with a shaky voice.

  I stifled a laugh, “Then you’ll fall off of course.”

  Her breathing deepened and I felt her struggling to get off. “I can’t do this.”

  I turned, grasping her arm, “I’m kidding, Francesca. I would never let anything happen to you. Just try to move when I do, if not, it’s ok. I can handle it.”

  She nodded, though it was unconvincing. I revved the bike to life, feeling her arms tighten against my stomach. Why didn’t you think of this years ago, Cade? I placed my hand on top of hers, giving a slight squeeze, then returned it to the handles. I sped down the road. Fast enough for her to feel the lightness of a motorcycle, but not enough to scare her shitless. She gripped me tightly the entire time.

  The drive to the park was short, not giving me hardly enough time with Francesca’s arms wound around me. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the confusion marking her face.

  “We’re going to the park?” she asked, her eyes colliding with mine.

  I hesitated. Every time our eyes met, I was speechless. Something about this dazzling woman in front of me drove me mad, crazy, insane. So I nodded. I flung my leg over, careful to not kick her, and placed the helmet dangling off the handle. I held my hand out, assisted her off the machine, and took her hand in mine. “Remember that time you came here when I was swinging?” I asked, leading her to the swing set. I heard a gasp. I turned, smiling at her sheepishly and shrugged.

  “Really? We’re reliving it?” she inquired, her eyes wide as she took in the surroundings. “I haven’t been here since that night…”

  “Francesca, that night was so special to me. I know you think I don’t remember because I drink too much, but I do. I can recall the way your hair shone in the moonlight, how saddened your eyes were when we talked about that slut, the way you kept reaching for your keys, and the gasp you let out when I told you we had something,” I said, walking closer to her. “That night meant so much to me, Francesca. You mean so much to me,” I choked out, sucking in a breath as I waited to see her reaction.

  Her brown eyes brimmed with tears as she crossed her arms to hold herself. “Cade….”

  “Why? Why are you so closed off to me, baby? Please, tell me how to fix it,” I pleaded.

  “You can’t,” she exclaimed, turning from me. “You can’t bring her back.”

  Bring who back? I wondered. “Francesca….”

  “Did you leave her? Did you find her wrecked and leave her? Were you driving?”

  Her sister. It all made sense now. She hated me because she thought it was my fault her sister died. “No,” I said sternly, shaking my head furiously. “I wouldn’t do that to you, to her, to anyone. Francesca, I called the ambulance that night.”

  Her tears fell down freely. Her knuckles were white from gripping herself so tightly. “Cade…everyone told me….they said you were driving and left so you wouldn’t get a dui.”

  I practically sprinted to her side, pressing her body against my chest. “I would never do that to anyone, especially your sister. I was not driving, she was, and I was behind her on the road. I had been drinking too, but I was sober enough to call an ambulance immediately. I went up to sit with her, but Francesca, she wasn’t moving. I didn’t touch her because I always heard on those TV shows not to do that, but the ambulance got there pretty quick. It was too late. She’d hit her head, baby. I’m so sorry,” I explained, sniffling back my own tears.

  Her body heaved with sobs. She clenched my shirt, her tears soaking through to my chest. I held her, letting her get it all out. We stood there, in the middle of the small park, for I don’t know how long. No one else came by, no one stopped to see what we were up to. I caressed her head, doing my best to relax her. Everything made sense now. Why she refused to talk to me after the accident. Why she was so cold to me that day at the restaurant. Why she fought with all she had to not get close to me again. Whoever told her that needed to pay.

  “Cade?” she sniffled.

  “Yes, baby doll.”

  “Why didn’t you come to me?” she pressed, detangling her body from my arms.

  My heart was heavy, breathing difficult. She was oblivious to everything that had happened. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right. “I tried,” I sighed.

  “When?” she said, her eyes wide in horror. “No you didn’t.”

  Nodding, I grabbed her small, delicate hands in mine. “Yes, I did. You were dating that guy you met right before you moved away. He refused to let me see you. He told me…” my voice almost broke, “he said you didn’t want to see me. I left it alone after that.”

  She cried out softly, choking on her sobs. “Oh my God.” Her hands left mine, finding her chest. She breathed, leaning her head to look at the sky. “George was always jealous of you. He’d heard rumors,” she muttered.

  “George? Figures that tool’s name was George,” I snickered.

  She scoffed at me, rolling those beautiful eyes she possessed. “Don’t make fun of his name,” she chided. “Make fun of him.”

  I laughed, loudly, and scooped her into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you so. I didn’t even realize how much until I saw you last week.” Her hair smelled nice, like lavender and…Francesca. Caressing her cheek, I searched her eyes for any sign she was feeling what I was. She gazed at me, biting her lip ever so slightly. I lowered my head, stopping inches from her to measure her reaction. Heaving breaths met my questioning glance. Our lips collided, the ever present butterfly feeling in overdrive. Our tongues danced and our breath mingled. She moaned int
o me, snaking her arms up my chest and into my hair. Her soft fingers gripped tangles and pulled my head forward. We were lost in everything that we were together. Perfection, a disaster, confused, happy, sad, and remembering. Our mouths parted far too quickly, foreheads leaning against each other.

  “Cade,” she breathed, peering up at me. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips red and begging for me to reconnect.

  “Francesca,” I replied, closing my eyes and inhaling all that she was.

  We stood, pressed against each other in the moonlight. The stars decorated the sky giving us a romantic backdrop. Neither of us spoke, because words weren’t needed. We’d spent years apart, each fighting a different battle, yet here we were, scathed and broken, but together. Our hearts beat to the same rhythm, creating a song just for us. After seconds, minutes, hours, I finally found the words to say.

  “Francesca, it’s time for us to have a real date,” I told her, grabbing her hand and smiling widely.

  She squealed, following me to the bike. If nothing else was, this moment was a perfect piece of heaven.