Burning for You: A Steamy NYC Firefighter Romance

by Kaye Kennedy

  She bit her lip.

  "Allie…" I was afraid to move. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.

  Her chest heaved up and down like she’d run a marathon. "I know I shouldn't talk about another guy while we're...you know...but I—I couldn't do it. Before."

  I felt the relief from her confession deep in my core.

  "I really thought something was wrong with me, but now I know." She swallowed. "I couldn't do it because you’re the only one I should give my virginity to."

  I nearly exploded inside of her at that admission. I exhaled as I leaned my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

  Her lashes fluttered. "Show me."

  I sighed. "I'll go slow, but tell me if you need me to stop."

  She threaded her hands behind my neck. "Okay."

  I eased my hips back an inch and then rocked forward a couple. She was tense and I wasn't a small guy. I knew it would take a bit to get her acclimated to me before I could bury myself all the way in.

  "I'm going to kiss you and I want you to focus on kissing me back. Try to relax, okay?"

  She nodded.

  My lips closed over hers and I gave her all the passion I had in me. As she got lost in the movement of our lips, her pussy relaxed a bit more and I eased forward, deepening our kiss to distract her. The warmth of her around my cock was comforting. She was so fucking tight—no way I would be able to last long. Shaking from the restraint I was showing, I clenched my ass to remind myself to take it slow. Her nails scraped against my shoulder blades. I was almost fully seated inside her and I craved to know how she’d feel when I was balls deep.

  I whispered into her mouth, "Wrap your legs around me."

  She did. When her ankles crossed behind me, I bit down on her lip and thrust forward, sinking all the way in. My eyes rolled into my head.

  I released her lip rom my teeth. "Holy…fuck."

  She whimpered.

  "You okay?"

  "More than okay." Her bronze eyes sparkled. "Kyle…this is…”

  I kissed her softly. "Tell me."

  "I feel so…stretched…full."

  I pinned her eyes with mine. "Is it bad?"

  "No. Surreal."

  I kissed her again. "I’m gonna move now."

  She nodded.

  I retreated halfway, then thrust forward again. It took a few pumps, but the tightness subsided as her muscles softened and I was able to move inside of her more easily. When she moaned, I knew we'd gotten past the hard part. I snuck a hand between us and rubbed her clit.

  "Kyle," she whimpered against my mouth and I stopped.

  "Did I hurt you?" I asked as I lifted off of her.

  She laughed. "No. It feels really good."

  I grinned. "Yeah, it does." I went back to flicking her bud as I thrust inside of her, bringing her to the brink of ecstasy. The pressure of my own release was building quickly. She was too tight…too wet…too perfect.

  "Oh. My..." she squealed as her orgasm took over. Her legs pinned me in place and the walls of her pussy squeezed my cock. I tried to fight it but the attempt was useless.

  "Allie," I exclaimed as I came inside my best friend—the person who meant the most to me in this world. We'd crossed the point of no return and I didn't regret it for a second.

  24

  Allie

  After

  I woke to Kyle snoring softly beside me and I was suddenly very self-conscious of the fact that I was naked. My best friend was in love with me and I'd had sex with him.

  I'd had sex. Period.

  Holy shit.

  The room started to feel extra small and my lungs struggled to get air. Taking care not to wake him, I slid out of bed and found my swimsuit bottoms and shorts on the floor. After gathering them up, I tiptoed into the living room. I was sore between my legs—a reminder that I hadn't dreamed up what had happened. Once I slipped my bottoms on, I found my tank by the door, but I struggled to locate my bikini top in the dark. I vaguely remembered Kyle tossing it across the room. Panic was welling inside me by the second, so I decided to fore-go the top and simply slid on my tank before grabbing my bag and slipping out of the apartment.

  As I hustled down the hall, I dug my phone out and called for a taxi. New York City cabs couldn’t leave the city limits, so I had to call a car service in Westchester. Thankfully, they had a taxi in the area so I didn't have to wait long. Standing on the sidewalk at four a.m. in the Bronx probably wouldn't have been smart. Stepping out into the fresh air helped some, but I couldn't help the feeling that I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

  The ride home took all of ten minutes and the entire time I couldn’t help but dwell on the ache between my thighs. It was like my vagina had its own memory of what I’d done. The way Kyle filled me would be something hard to forget. Once home, I snuck inside, kicked off my sandals, and tiptoed up to my bedroom.

  I dropped my bag beside my desk and the photo wall I'd been working on since middle school caught my eye. I ran my hand over the glossy images. There were photos of us all as a group, some of me with Melissa and Lila, some of me with the guys I'd dated, some from cheer, but the vast majority were of me and Kyle. My favorite one was of us from freshman year. I was perched on his lap on the bleachers after a football game and we both had these goofy smiles on our faces. We’d been so young then and it reminded me just how huge a part of my life he was. I loved everything about our friendship, but it would never be the same after what we’d just done.

  I perched on the edge of my desk, squeezed my eyes shut, and sighed. Earlier, having sex with Kyle had seemed like a good idea, but after was a different story. In the moment, it had been perfect. It had been everything I'd wanted for my first time and then some. And it happening with Kyle was something I'd treasure forever because, like I had told him, it had felt right that I'd waited for him, but that didn't help ease my confusion any. I was leaving for Michigan in a few hours and our friendship was hanging in the balance.

  I got up and walked toward my bed. There was a picture of Austin and I from prom on my nightstand. It reminded me of how exorbitantly stressful the past month had been. Austin and I had fought constantly. My inability to have sex with him had really screwed with his head. Mine, too, if I'm being honest. But the ease with which I’d given myself to Kyle had cleared that up. Except...

  Now what?

  The reality of being separated from Kyle had been hard enough before, but with everything that had transpired, I didn't know how to wrap my head around the implications of it all. It's not like we'd gotten drunk and made a mistake—that I think we would've been able to get past—but he was in love with me. And I wasn't sure if I was in love with him, too. Sure, I loved him, but was I in love? Did I even know what that meant?

  I sat on the edge of my bed and ran my fingers through my tangled hair. There was no way I could move forward like the night hadn't happened. Feelings were involved. Deep feelings. But I'd also had a boyfriend—who wasn't Kyle—mere hours before he made love to me...

  I was a fucking mess.

  I eyed my suitcases standing in the corner and my mouth went dry. Leaving behind everything I knew was terrifying enough, but adding in the whole what are we? drama only made me more stressed and more scared and more...overwhelmed.

  I was pissed at myself for thinking with my hormones and doing something so monumental when we were facing the longest separation of our entire friendship. Jumping into a new relationship on the same day I was jumping onto an airplane was incredibly stupid. Kyle might think we could handle it, but I had my doubts. Nothing about us dating would be simple. We'd have to learn how to turn fourteen-years of friendship into something more, all while having hundreds of miles between us.

  I fell back and covered my face with my hands. "How could we be so stupid?" I whispered into the empty room.

  The clock ticked toward five in the morning. I wasn't planning on leaving for the airport until ten, but if I waited until then,
Kyle would inevitably show up at my door and I couldn't handle that. Not yet. Since my bags were already packed, I had no reason to delay.

  I got up and went into the bathroom to shower. I still had the sticky salt air on my skin from the beach, not to mention the wetness between my thighs—mine and Kyle’s. As I washed my skin, I couldn’t help but remember what it had felt like to have Kyle touching me everywhere. Ironically, his big, rough hands had been gentle with me. It had been as though I could feel his love for me simply from the warmth of his caress.

  I was sore where he’d stretched me and when I closed my eyes as the warm water cascaded over my head, I got a vivid picture of his crystal-blue eyes staring down at me while he filled me so completely. Tears stung my eyes, but I washed them away.

  After my shower, I gathered my hair into a bun and tugged on jeans and a hockey tee that Kyle had given me a few years before from one of the teams he’d been on. Once dressed, I went downstairs and made coffee before going back up to wake my mom.

  "Mom?" I whispered by her bedside.

  She groaned.

  "Mom, wake up."

  She opened one eye. "What is it, Allie?"

  "Can you take me to the airport?"

  Her arms stretched over her head. "What time is it?"

  "Around six."

  "It’s a little early to go now," she said with a yawn.

  "Please?"

  She blinked a few times. "Excited to get to school, huh?"

  "Uh, yeah." I’d go with that assumption.

  "All right. Let me get ready."

  While I waited in my room for her, I decided to write Kyle a letter, so I pulled out note paper and took a seat at my desk.

  Dear Kyle,

  Please don't hate me. I realize running away after what happened between us may seem cowardly, but I need some time to think. Last night was...incredibly special. Don't think that I'm distancing myself because I regret it. No, I'm distancing myself because I'm confused and I know that the only way I'll be able to get un-confused is by taking the time to consider the magnitude of what happened.

  The idea of leaving for college has been much harder on me than I've let on. One thing that has made me feel more secure about it though has been knowing that even though we'll be apart, you'll still be there for me. After last night though, I'm scared that will change. I can hear you arguing with me right about now, but that's why I'm writing you this letter instead of having this conversation.

  I need to figure this one out on my own first. If we rush into dating for the wrong reasons, it will never work. I'm not saying that I don't want to be with you, but I'm also not saying that I do. It wouldn't be fair of me to keep this going until I can honestly answer that question for myself. And the only way to do that is to get a little distance so I can live in my feelings for a while until I have a clear answer.

  I'm sorry and I hope you know that my intent is not to hurt you, which is why I need to figure this out before we take this somewhere that only leads to more pain. I love you, Kyle. Now I need to see if that love means something more—or if it could.

  Hugs,

  Allie

  I folded the paper and stuffed it into an envelope, then scribbled his name on the outside. Right before sealing it, I reached for my favorite photo of us and pulled it off the wall, adding it to the envelope.

  After wrestling my suitcases to the car, I put the letter on the coffee table in the living room and sipped my coffee while I waited for my mom. The sun had risen and I bounced my leg, worried that Kyle would be getting up soon.

  "All ready to go, Allie?" Mom asked from the bottom of the stairs.

  She went out to the car first, but I hung back to survey everything one last time. I knew I’d be back in a few months, but that place had been the only home I’d ever known. The idea of making a new home for myself elsewhere was hard to contemplate. I sighed as I gripped the door knob and tugged it closed behind me.

  I got in the car.

  "You have everything?" Mom asked.

  I nodded.

  She backed out of the driveway.

  "Mom, Kyle's going to come by. Will you make sure he gets the letter I left out on our coffee table?"

  She smiled. "Of course. Saying goodbye to him must be hard."

  We drove past the playground and I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep myself together. "You have no idea." I rested my head against the seat and closed my eyes.

  25

  Kyle

  Freshman Year of College - September

  Two weeks—fourteen whole days—that's three-hundred-and-thirty-six hours...

  That's how long it had been since Allie had left, and it felt like a goddamn lifetime because not only hadn’t I seen her, but I hadn’t spoken to her either. At all. Fucking torture.

  I sat down at the dining room table for Sunday dinner and I didn't even get a forkful of the corned beef into my mouth before her name came up.

  "How's Allie liking school?" Jenna, Dylan's girlfriend, asked. They'd been together a year and my brother was head over heels for her. Being near them made the ache in my chest that much worse.

  I managed a shrug.

  Instead of letting it go, Dylan pushed. "What's going on with you two?"

  "Nothing," I snapped, which was the perfect truth. Not for my lack of trying either. When I'd woken up in an empty apartment that next morning, I’d known something was wrong. I had sped over to her house only to have Mrs. Dupree hand me a letter and tell me that Allie had taken an earlier flight. My heart had sunk. I'd gone to the playground, but since it had been a nice morning there'd been a bunch of kids there. Instead, I'd driven around for several hours hating myself for having opened my damn mouth.

  Calling her had proved futile because she'd refused to answer. After ten days of calling, I'd finally given up. Her letter had said she needed space and while I knew I should respect that, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I did it anyway. If I still didn't hear from her after a week, then I'd try again. At least that was the theory. Who knew if I'd last that long.

  Dylan scratched the knife on his plate while cutting the beef. "You've been a moody prick since she left."

  I glared at him.

  Ryan—my twelve-year-old brother—said, "He's mad because he loves her and she left."

  Jesse laughed. "Allie and Kyle are just friends, Ry."

  "Looks like he loves her to me," Ryan replied.

  I narrowed my eyes. "And what would you know about love at twelve?"

  He smirked. "I know that you're not denying it."

  "I don't have to explain myself to you."

  "Whatever is going on can you fix it? Because I really like Allie."

  Yeah, me too. "Drop it, Ryan," I threatened.

  My mother swooped in and changed the topic by turning the attention to Jenna and cheerleading. I couldn't have been more grateful.

  Three weeks. I'd made it three weeks without talking to Allie and it was a damn miracle because I was so ornery that I seriously wondered how long it'd take for me to get put in jail for road rage, or assaulting a dick who took too long in line at the store, or straight up murdering anyone who looked at me funny.

  I tapped my pen on the desk in the back of my calculus class because I needed to do something physical with the hostile energy flowing through me. In the past, whenever I got in one of my moods, there was always one person who could make it better, but this time she was the cause of my reproachable demeanor so I was basically fucked.

  I checked my phone for the umpteenth time since I'd broken my silence streak in a text to her that morning.

  Kyle: I was really hoping I’d hear from you by now. I get that you needed time, but I fucking miss you, Allie. Please don’t do this to us.

  Nothing. Not a damn thing.

  I got that she was confused and overwhelmed and all that shit, but what I didn't get was why it was taking so long for her to figure it out. Or why she couldn't at least talk to me about it. Or even not abou
t it, just talk to me. Period. All I wanted was to hear her voice.

  After class, I headed to the rink. Since hockey didn’t start for a couple more weeks, I’d joined an intramural league at school. It was basically all of my new teammates trying to stay fresh until we officially started our season. And it wasn’t exactly optional. The team captains made sure all of us freshman got on the roster. Coach tended to stop by, as well.

  I laced up my skates and checked my phone a final time before putting it in my locker.

  On the ice, I was a fucking beast. No one could touch me and they sure as hell couldn’t get by me. One dude came racing down the left, so I sprinted toward him at full force and checked him into the boards. It was a hard enough hit that he bounced off and landed on his ass.

  "What the fuck, Hogan?" he shouted, while another guy helped him to his feet.

  "Defending my goalie," I stated matter-of-factly as I skated away. It wasn’t my fault that I was leagues better than most of them.

  "Eighty-three, in the box. Now!" My coach glared at me.

  Fuck me. I hadn’t realized he’d been there. I took my time skating across the ice.

  "He’s your damn teammate. Save it for the real games, Hogan," he scolded.

  I grunted as I parked my ass on the bench.

  Twenty-six days.

  Nothing.

  Seriously considering going to Michigan.

  Angry as fuck.

  26

  Allie

  Freshman Year of College - September

  I was a cold-hearted bitch. School had started three weeks ago, which meant that I'd gone four weeks without talking to my best friend and it was killing me. With a textbook clutched to my chest, I walked across campus to my psychology class. There was a couple holding hands on the walkway in front of me and it made me nauseous. I needed to get over myself and call Kyle.