Marked For You: The X-Perience Series

by C. G Miller

  “I would help people live out death fantasies.”

  My whole body froze, “Death fantasies? Like play dead or dead dead?” My voice was monotone completely at a loss.

  Cree licked his lips thinking before he spoke. I was beginning to think maybe I shouldn’t know. Looking over at the champagne glass, I was wishing that we would have had that drink.

  My breathing slowed but my heartbeat accelerated. My gut kept telling me to run, but I was greedy, and I needed to know. To understand why he does this.

  “I tell myself I am helping these people. In other countries, assisted suicide is legal. The process is expensive for those that would have to travel. I offer a cheaper, more intimate companionship to those that have come my way wanting to die.” Cree’s words come out dull with no emotion attached trying to justify his actions.

  “I had a woman a few years ago. Her depression had taken over her life. There was never happiness. Everyone around her suffered as she let the dark hole consume her. She tried medication. She tried smiling even if it was just for show. But, the hollowness inside her refused to leave. She had thought about dying for many years. To her, everyone’s life would be better if she were just gone. But, her family didn’t approve of her flying across the country to die in some hospital alone.”

  My brain was hazed trying to comprehend what he was saying. I saw Cree in a new light. He was a murdering monster.

  Averting my eyes from him, I stared at the floor wondering how long I was going to let myself sit here and listen. Cree paused setting his hand on my knee causing me to jerk from his touch. I nodded for him to go on even though his words started fading into each other.

  “While the idea was better than living, if she were to go, the financial burden alone would be a hardship for her family to bring her back for a proper burial. So, she found The X-Perience. In a way, my way was better. She had the option to lay out every detail leading up to her death. We went to dinner; I bought her some flowers. I appreciated her like no one else had. It was an act of delicatessen and respect.” Cree’s voice was soft and subtle truly speaking from the heart of how much he actually cared to help these people. Murder was murder and justifying it the way Cree was, was sadistic but also, intriguing.

  How can one person take a life and it not even faze him? My stomach began to calm with questions of his monstrosities overtaking my brain.

  “What happened to her body?” I asked quietly.

  “Her wishes were to be left in her car ten miles outside of the city she resided in with her favorite music playing. Her family called the police, to report her missing, they found her, it was ruled a suicide, and they laid her to rest.”

  “So, you help people kill themselves?” I asked, stunned.

  “Yes.” Cree let out a shaky breath searching my eyes. But, I felt like stone. I couldn’t move. The will to do anything left me, my body stiff at his confession.

  “And everyone that you have helped do this had some ailment?” That was the big question. Were they all in pain, did they already have a death sentence and wished to go out on their own terms?

  “Yes and no.” Cree was vague tensing at my question. I could tell he was still feeling me out not giving me every detail.

  How could I ever accept this side of him?

  “What does that mean?” I urged.

  “Some people can be so tortured they are beyond repair. I offer an out.”

  “Do you enjoy it?” I tried to remain as calm and collected as he was but, the crack in my voice was signaling him to my recoil.

  He sat obelisk, looking for words to help me understand. To help me believe what he did was okay. Cree’s eyes turned sullen when the words he wanted to speak could not be found.

  He hadn’t lost me yet, but I was on the tip ready to fall, to run back home. His whole body shifted recoiling away from me and he sunk further into the couch almost exhausted with being unable to truly explain why.

  I could see he was defeated. It hurt me to see that. Cree was not an easily defeated man. He saw what he wanted and took it. I stepped back from the tip of the edge thinking; As intriguing as what he did is, how unspeakable he was, I didn’t need to know now. Despite his confession, I wanted to love him.

  We could ease into him opening up but, there was one thing that would hold that back. I needed a promise. A promise of absolute that nothing could hurt what we may be able to build.

  “Cree.” I said softly letting my hand rest on his knee. He still sat back, his hand covering his eyes. “Cree? Look at me.” I commanded.

  With an exhausted breath, he slowly brought his hand from his eyes and without moving his head, side eyed me. The eyes are the window to the soul. The eyes I fell in love with months ago was of true dominance. His eyes today, with the shield down, showed me how vulnerable he felt in his own skin. A murdering monster that only I could love.

  “Will you promise me something?”

  “Anything.” He let out a relieved breath.

  “We can put this conversation on hold for now. I still want to know in the future. Don’t think you’re getting out of this but, there can’t be anymore hiding.”

  “Done.” He placed his hand over mine with a small squeeze.

  “That’s just the first part. I need you to promise for as long as we are together, there is no more helping people die. There is no more sleeping with other people or whatever else there could be to The X-Perience. It needs to be you and me. I am a one-woman deal.”

  His body shifted letting go of the exhaustion. Sitting up to me, Cree locked his eyes with mine, holding my cheek in his hand, and let out a shaky breath, “All I will ever want is you.” He kissed me with fiery passion. The lust between us had disappeared and a new feeling took over. The feeling of forever.

  Cree lifted me with ease carrying me up to his room. Gently placing me on the bed, I watched as his hard shell fell away. Cree took his clothes from his body with softness. With gentle precision, he then took my clothes from my body.

  His façade was gone as he laid on top of me showering me with the deepest, most sincere kisses he could ever give.

  In this bed is where I was meant to be. We felt right together. He cared for me delicately as we found a soothing slow-paced rhythm until we climbed so high that only our eyes locked. We let out no sounds just our bodies molding to one another. Cree locked his cage tattooed hand to my bird tattooed hand sealing us together forever.

  Utterly spent, our naked bodies snuggled together falling asleep entwined in each other’s arms.

  Chapter 20 Cree

  A few weeks had passed. We hadn’t spoken again on the matter of me being a monster. It was nice just being us. Me learning her quirks, her being extra generous around the house. It was almost as if we had fallen into a rhythm of what life outside The X-Perience would be like.

  Kyle wanted to please me, I wanted to please her, and we met in the middle settling down into a family life.

  I had yet to hear from Eve’s lawyer but, the issue still sat in the back of my mind. I was waiting endlessly for it all to fall apart really. We could play house all day long but, until The X-Perience was behind us, we would never really move forward.

  I had the day planned out like all the other days before, I would get ready while Kyle slept in. I swear, if I never woke her, she would sleep the day away.

  I was learning just who Kyle really was. Left to fend for herself, raise herself, she never had a break. Kyle was constantly working so the past few weeks letting her sleep, I felt she deserved.

  We would go to my special coffee place like we did every other day where we share conversation with the owners and take in each other’s time. After that, Kyle would drop me at my new firm and she would busy herself going from coffee place to eatery, trying to find the hidden gems.

  Kyle was fascinated by the people, the places, and the lights. She reminded me of an addicted gambler, but she was addicted to the life that surrounded Vegas.

  I would come home, an
d the house would be spotless, Chula fed ready for me to play catch with her, and Kyle usually in one of my shirts naked underneath. Kyle and I never got enough of each other as we fucked into the night, the mornings, and sometimes the afternoons.

  Getting ready to go wake Kyle, a ping from my laptop made my heart stop. It hadn’t pinged in the last few weeks and there was only one person it could be.

  Eve.

  Her lawyer had sent over the drafted papers and cc’d her. One hundred and forty-five pages that I needed to go through carefully knowing something was always hidden in the fine print.

  Kyle was sprawled out on the bed clinging to my pillow. It was a gesture that I never grew tired of seeing. She had grown accustomed to taking over once I had left the bed. I brushed her hair from her face, gently placing a kiss to her forehead. She let out a groan, followed by a smile, “Coffee?” Her voice cracked.

  “Not today Little One. I have some work to do, will you be okay if I stick around the house today?”

  “Housework today huh?” She slyly smiled.

  “Not for you. Stay in bed. I’ll order something.” I swatted her butt and began to leave the room.

  “Breakfast in bed. Oh, you know the way to my heart.” She sang.

  “Quit being a smartass or I won’t get food.” I laughed.

  “She made a pout face followed by a low growl wrestling a pillow between her legs and slightly bucked.

  I felt like she was teasing me with the pillow. She couldn’t see me, but I know she could hear my footsteps.

  “Are you teasing me Little One?”

  “Me? Tease you? Of course not.” A small moan escaped her lips as her thighs gripped the pillow harder.

  Her sarcastic innuendo pushed me over as I pounced on top of her naked body. Roughly pushing her thighs apart, she kept her eyes closed with a devilish grin on her face. She was loving every bit of it.

  It had been awhile since we had been rough, she was delicate and I didn’t want to hurt her, or risk her running away. But, she secretly loved it harder. I secretly loved the softness of us making love.

  With a quick zip of my zipper I placed myself inside her not giving her relief. She let out a pleasured grunt letting her hips match mine. Taking her mouth fiercely with mine, our kiss was deep and raw.

  The hibernating monster inside me was awakening when I let the control take over. I brought my hand to her throat slightly squeezing, then whispered in her ear, “Scream for me.”

  That’s all it took for her orgasm to shatter around me pushing me over my edge.

  I stayed inside her longer than usual watching her face relax into a calming satisfaction. I kissed her gently on her lips. When I pulled from her, she let out a moan bringing her legs close together and turning back into the bed to sleep the rest of the morning away.

  Reading the new contract, it was just as I thought. Eve had hidden a clause on page eighty-nine. I was to do one companionship a year.

  I couldn’t see any other way around it. Everything I wanted was in there except the one thing I knew if I did, I could lose my Little One forever. Maybe I could bargain with Eve one more time to save my forever.

  Just like before, Eve sat at the heart. She had a knowing grimace on her face, “I see you read the contract. With a fine-tooth comb?”

  “It’s not what we agreed on.” My tone was deep the papers making a slapping sound when I slammed them on the desk.

  Eve relaxed sitting back in her chair and as calm as a piece of ice she said, “We don’t always get what we want Cree. I have a staff of over a hundred people that don’t even compare to what you bring to the table. You can’t blame me for wanting to make some extra bank once a year.”

  “It’s not happening Eve. I’m starting over with Kyle and I will do nothing to ruin that.” I was adamant.

  “You know what Cree, fine. How about instead of once a year, one more time. I got a high roller coming in that needs his wife entertained. And you are just what she asked for.”

  “Stop it Eve. Stop with the games. I’m done. Have your lawyer redraft these papers and we can go our separate ways.”

  Eve laughed pulling a manila folder from her desk.

  She slammed it down, pointing at it, “Cree, you will give me one more night. Do that and your Little One,” She seethed, “Won’t see these.”

  She stopped me cold in my tracks. My heart beat faster looking at the folder, “What’s this?”

  “You know Cree, my private room has cameras. Someone of my prestige needs to have insurance. I don’t offer my private room up to just anyone. You were so angry. How could I pass up the chance? I knew you were on the edge of leaving. But, I’ll still get more out of you.”

  My stomach dropped at the realization, “You were the one that concocted it all. You said Kyle wanted a refund but, that was a lie wasn’t it? What about Julie? It was you, wasn’t it, on the other end of that conversation? You told her exactly what to say. It was you the entire time. And then you brought Kyle here to entice me further.” I rubbed my forehead hard piecing it all together.

  “Cree, you never learn. I get what I want. Now you want to take these stills with you, or do we have a deal? One last time?” Eve brought her hand out to shake, and lifted the other hand holding onto the folder.

  I took the folder. Opening it, I pulled a stack of pictures out. They were all from the women in her room I took my anger out on.

  “Hey.” I looked up to see Eve grinning. “I got more where those came from.”

  Fucking cunt.

  “Let’s say I do one more. What’s to say you don’t do this again?”

  “You have my word Cree.”

  “Your word is shit now don’t you think?”

  She shrugged, “I’ll give you the tapes okay?”

  I shook her hand. Before I exited the door she mused, “You’ll be hearing from me soon. Read the contract, sign it, send it back, and we can put this all behind us.”

  I slammed the door behind me.

  Throwing the manilla folder onto my passenger seat, I rushed back to Kyle. My head raced the entire drive trying to figure out a way out of this.

  Kyle was playing with Chula in the backyard. I told her there would be no one else. I promised her no more. I promised her me. Now I have to break that promise.

  Chapter 21 Kyle

  “Hey you’re back.” I said to him getting on my tippy toes to place a kiss on his cheek and headed to the fridge to grab some water.

  Cree sat on the couch, face forward. He usually watches my every move, but today something is on his mind. A sinking feeling takes over wondering if I did something wrong.

  I fill Chula’s water bowl and then go to sit by him.

  “Everything ok?” Cree ignored me so I set my hand on his knee and repeated myself. Cree jumps at my touch like he is just noticing I am sitting by him.

  He places his hand on my cheek looking like he has lost me. His face is white as a ghost. Pulling me in, he kisses me like it’s the last time.

  “What happened?” I say pulling away from his hold locking my eyes with his.

  “Eve needs one more thing from me before she will let me go,” Cree huffs nervously.

  Taken aback, “I thought you said you had it all worked out?”

  “I thought I did. But, she is blackmailing me, and I have to do this one thing and then we are free.”

  “Cree, we promised no more hiding. You promised no one else. Cree.” My voice breaks as a tear streams down my cheek.

  Brushing the tear away, Cree says, “I’m sorry Little One.”

  “No, don't hide now. Cree.” I yell, “What is the black mail?”

  “I am bound by contract; I can’t tell you.” Cree stiffens, his voice low with shame.

  Both eyes tear as I watch him. He becomes colder recoiling away from me.

  “So, that’s it?” I cry.

  “Please stay.” He pleads.

  I shake my head trying to wrap my mind around this. He said we were out.
He promised.

  “Please.” He pleads again.

  “When do you have to go?” I crack.

  “I don’t know. She will email me and then clean break.”

  “I’m sorry Cree.”

  “Kyle please.” He pleads. He drops to his knees when I stand to go upstairs. Grabbing my hand, he holds on for dear life. “Kyle please.”

  I broke Cree. He has no dominance as he stares up at me pleading for me to stay. But, that wasn’t the deal. I could put the monster on hold, I could agree to see where we go. But the minute he is given an ultimatum, he doesn’t choose me. That’s my limit.

  “I always choose you. You couldn’t even fight for me. You’re not telling me the whole truth. I can’t stay. French Fry.” Peeling my hand from his, tears in my eyes, I rush upstairs, pack my bags, text an uber and in fifteen minutes, I’m headed back home.

  My last memory is of Cree hanging his head low, hands in his pockets as I exit his house with a broken heart. Bound by my safe word, there is nothing more he could do or say.

  The beeping from the register was an annoying reminder I was back home. Luckily, I wasn’t working yet. I had to reapply hoping I could get my crummy job back. But, that dam beeping sound as my groceries slid over the scanner was driving me nuts. I was irritable, sad, broken, with love lost on my mind.

  Tilly had left my apartment untouched not sure I would be back but, just in case, she saved it for me.

  Lost in a fantasy, Tilly had hardly crossed my mind, but the minute I saw her, relief washed me. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until I saw her.

  The limbo I was in was all too filling as I continued to fall wondering when I would get back up. I suppose that’s what love feels like when it’s lost.

  Yeah when the feeling comes, it’s a once in a lifetime feeling. It’s so hard to explain. Being in love with your soulmate, which in my mind Cree is my soulmate, is so many feelings wrapped into one. It’s the butterflies, it’s the scary unknown. It’s being able to be ourselves without being self-conscious. The overall happiness that takes over molding all the feelings into this ball in your stomach.