Texas Kidnapping
Page 8
Cash would argue figuring that out after getting married and birthing babies was ridiculous. Colton’s wife had known the risks going in. His brother had been sheriff for the past five years. Vows meant something to an O’Connor. There was no backing out after going to the altar. And Cash was in no rush to jump feet first into that pool.
Renee was different. She beamed at the mention of Abby. “It suits you. Being a mother. Looks good on you.”
Her cheeks flushed at the compliment and she was even more beautiful. His heart betrayed him again by clenching and making him wish he had more time to get to know Renee outside of his job.
“Thank you. I have a long way to go before I get a handle on parenting, so I’m surprised it looks good on me.” She laughed. It was a small win, but he’d take it. Making Renee relax a little bit after what she’d been through made him feel good.
“You make it work.” He smiled back at her. “Do you mind if I ask a personal question?”
“Go ahead. I have a feeling after all this is said and done you will end up knowing a lot more about me than you probably even wanted to.” The comment came off flippantly, but he picked up on the serious undercurrent in her tone. He’d seen that dozens of times, too. A regular law-abiding citizen who suddenly finds themselves on the wrong side of crime. It was shocking and could completely throw them off balance. Totally understandable under the circumstances and another reason he liked making her laugh and breaking down some of the shock.
“What made you decide to adopt?” Not that he thought there was anything wrong with it. Taking a baby into her home was admirable. He found that he was curious about her decision in particular and wanted to know more about what made Renee tick.
“There were a lot of reasons. I guess in the end I realized I wanted to start my family and that no longer meant being traditional about it. Any time I brought up the subject of putting down roots and starting a family to my ex, he got squirrely about it. The crazy thing is that we’d just lived together so long marriage and family seemed like the next logical step. Being with him became a routine. Then, suddenly, I pulled into the parking lot of the place where we both worked in different departments. My life with him flashed before my eyes and I started crying. Like really crying and I am so not a crier. I didn’t want to go inside the building. I didn’t want to go home. It was crazy because I felt like we had already made this commitment to each other that we had to honor, and we weren’t even married. We’d never even made our relationship official. When his lease was up five years ago after we’d been dating for two years, he asked what I thought about saving on rent and him moving in with me. I remember shrugging my shoulders and telling him that would be fine. There was nothing romantic or special about it. It felt like a business exchange. Isn’t that weird?”
“So many people settle for less. It’s easier to stay together than to break up after a certain point.” He’d been in a similar relationship early on. “I dated someone once who, despite using serious precautions, told me she was pregnant with my child.”
“What did you do?” Renee’s hand came up to her mouth to cover her shock.
“Stuck around. There was no way I could walk away from my own child. There were rumors circulating that she’d been unfaithful on more than one occasion when I had cases that had me out of town for days on end. The relationship seemed to be winding down when she turned up pregnant, which left a few unanswered questions in my mind. I held off on the marriage until I was certain the child was mine. He wasn’t.” Those last two words had never made him feel so raw before. Damned if he hadn’t stuffed those emotions down deep and tried his level best to forget. Talking about it now with Renee made him able to dredge up the past.
“I’m sorry.” Her compassion shed a spark of light in the darkest places in his soul. It wasn’t so much that he’d wanted to have a child with Stephanie as it was the loss of the kid he’d believed might be his.
“Thank you. It means more than you know to hear you say that.” He meant those words. Cash tried to convince himself that he was sharing personal information with Renee to help her relax. It wasn’t true. He liked talking to her and wanted to get to know her better. Part of that process was giving up a little about himself. But it was time to shift the conversation back to her. “What did you do while sitting in the car? Did you decide to go to work? Stay with him longer?”
“I knew in that moment the relationship was over for me. Does it sound crazy?”
“Not in the least. It’s easy to stay with someone out of habit. It’s easy to get comfortable.” Cash could relate. He was pretty damn careful not to send mixed signals to the women he’d dated after Stephanie. He never would’ve moved in with someone he didn’t have the intention to marry. Not because he was taking some moral high road, it just seemed like that meant he would already be committed. He’d seen a couple of his brothers go down that road only to have it bite them afterward. It was an easy mistake to make.
“Considering the fact that I was a leaky faucet, there was no way I could go to work. I texted my boss and said that I needed to take a sick day. Instead of going home, I went to this park near our apartment. I lost track of time sitting there in my car, watching kids play on the playground equipment. I was transfixed.” She breathed out a heavy sigh. “I resolved to get my act together right then and there. Having a family was important to me. Having a husband was not. Eventually, I got the nerve to go home. But before I could end the relationship, Jamison got the call about his mother. Her doctor gave her six months to live. She survived for a year. I couldn’t walk away under those circumstances with a clean conscience. Color me the fool.”
“It’s not foolish to be kind. Jamison sounds like a selfish jerk who doesn’t deserve someone like you.” Cash couldn’t help but come to her defense when he saw how much she was beating herself up over her decision to stay long after she stopped caring for her ex. “It shows incredible courage to stick around in a situation like that.”
Renee took a minute to respond, like she wanted to really digest the words he’d just spoken. Her gaze lifted to his and there was something unexpected in her eyes, a spark that hadn’t been there before. Frustration turned into vulnerability. Vulnerability quickly changed to something else altogether...desire?
In the space of a few seconds, the room heated and that spark in her eyes sent electricity shooting through him, seeking an outlet. A small explosion detonated in the center of his chest and Cash knew in that moment just how much trouble he was in when it came to the single mother.
Chapter Eight
Renee could get lost in Cash’s steel eyes. She knew the instant her world had tilted on its axis and she’d stopped fighting the attraction she felt toward Cash—an attraction that had nearly bowled her over from the minute she’d opened the door to find him standing on her porch.
Having strong feelings for someone she barely knew should be odd, not comfortable, not like it was the most natural thing. Reminding herself they’d barely met did nothing to quell the squall gaining steam inside her. And yet, she’d known Jamison for almost a year before they’d started dating and look how that had turned out.
Looking back, it had been Jamison’s persistence that had won her over. She’d listened to her head when it had said a man who kept after her for a date for a solid year would be there for her in the long run. It was almost comical when she looked back at their relationship.
A thought struck. Had she traded love for security? If she had, the joke was on her.
The sizzle of attraction and longing that she felt for Cash was foreign. But then, Renee never would’ve allowed herself to truly fall for anyone no matter how much she tried to convince herself that she liked them. Or was that just the lie she’d told herself to protect her own heart?
Being with Cash had her questioning all her beliefs about love. Because somewhere along the line, she’d convinced herself that true love was
about sacrifice and digging her heels in to stay with someone because he needed her without regard for how little she got in return. Had she settled with Jamison?
The real answer was a slap of reality. In a word...yes. She’d settled for someone who needed her rather than hold out for the person who stirred feelings she wasn’t certain how to handle. This out-of-control feeling she had in Cash’s presence freaked her out more than she wanted to acknowledge.
Keeping a handle on her emotions was how she’d survived her childhood. As much as she wanted to lean into the feeling of being near Cash, it was too much, too fast.
The buzz of his cell phone broke into the moment happening between them. He checked the screen before glancing up. This time when they made eye contact, she could keep her emotions in check. Barely. Her cheeks flushed at how transparent she was being. The man had just shared something very personal with her and in the process made her feel special. How special was she to him?
Cash O’Connor worked in law enforcement. His job would make him good at getting people to trust him. Clearly, he was good at his job because she’d gone all in for a few minutes with him. She blinked and leaned back in her chair, trying to regain more of her composure—composure that was a slippery slope around this man.
“Colton has a couple of interviews lined up for early tomorrow morning, starting with the crew leader from your moving company.” He glanced up at her after double-checking his screen.
Renee’s heart jackhammered the inside of her rib cage, slamming out a staccato rhythm. She needed a break from the heat pinging between them and figured it would die down on its own as she spent more time with him. So far, it was a rising tide turning into one helluva wave ready to crash into shore. “We should get a few hours of sleep.”
Cash responded to the text before catching her gaze. A warning shot straight to her heart with the look on his face. He put his hands up in the surrender position. “I think I already know the answer to this but I wanted you to think about leaving Abby at the ranch. It might be safer for her here with Stacy.”
“She’s safest with her mother.” Those words rolled off her tongue so easily they gave a boost to her confidence as a new parent.
“I thought you might say that.” He quirked a devastating grin and a look that seemed an awful lot like approval. “Let’s grab a few hours of sleep and we’ll head out at first light.”
* * *
RENEE WAS SURPRISINGLY able to nod off for a few hours. Abby woke at first light, so Renee retraced her steps to the kitchen to make a bottle. Cash sat at the table, staring at the screen of his laptop.
“Did you sleep?” she asked.
“Enough.” He immediately got up and helped make the formula. They worked as a team and when Abby had been tended to, Renee put her daughter on a blanket that was on the floor of the guest room long enough to freshen up.
She gathered baby supplies and then returned to the kitchen where Cash handed her a bagel.
“Shall we?” he asked after she polished it off.
She nodded before following him to his vehicle where he brought a to-go coffee for her. She couldn’t think of a safer place than a sheriff’s office, so she felt confident in her decision to bring Abby along. Besides, the little girl wasn’t leaving Renee’s sight. This child would know how much her mother loved her. Once this ordeal was behind the two of them, Renee planned to shower her daughter with what kids needed most—unconditional love and acceptance.
After securing Abby’s seat in the back, Renee climbed into the passenger side and buckled in. Maybe it was the moment that had happened between them a few hours ago that seemed to linger, but she wanted to know more about Cash O’Connor. Since she had no idea where to start, she folded her hands in her lap and sat quietly.
Thankfully, he broke the silence. “Is your family originally from Dallas?”
“Yes. I grew up inside the Loop, which means Loop 12 if you’re not familiar. My parents owned a resale shop south of the Trinity River. I worked there summers and after school, which taught me a lot about running a small family business. I also decided it wasn’t for me so I now work for a global company.”
“Really? What didn’t you like about the small family business?” He started the engine and navigated onto the long driveway as the sun started to rise.
“I could tell you that a lot of it was because of the long hours and no health insurance. You probably know best that family businesses basically means working all day and bringing work home. But, honestly, my parents fought all the time. When I think of owning a business, that’s what comes to mind. Unhappiness. Arguments. Blaming. Screaming at each other. There was no way I was going to repeat their mistakes.” She hadn’t really thought about that until now. The realization hit home. It also struck her that she and Jamison rarely ever argued. In part because she had always been easygoing, but also because she let him have his way. What was there to fight about?
“It’s important to be able to separate work from home.” His comment made her thoughts shift to his situation. Now that his father was gone, would he be expected to step into the family business? It wasn’t a question she felt she had the right to ask. But it must be on his mind. Then again, he’d thrown himself into her investigation. She got it. Work was a good distraction from grief and despair. Her work had been a saving grace getting her through that last year with Jamison. Despite Renee’s challenging relationship with her parents, she’d loved them. Losing them both so suddenly had been the most difficult thing she’d ever had to deal with until recently.
“Your family seems to have their priorities in the right place. Not only do I admire them for it, I hope to emulate their example with my daughter.” Jamison’s mother had put her son before everything else. Renee wasn’t bothered by the relationship at first. She had confused it with love back then. It wasn’t until Jamison’s mother had pulled Renee aside to say that her son had complained about Renee’s almost constant nagging for him to pick up after himself around their apartment that she realized how unhealthy the relationship was. She’d been mortified. A quick decision was made right there and then. His mother didn’t get to tell Renee what to do. And, besides, how awful was it that the person who should be her partner was doing nothing but complaining about her to his mother?
“Believe me when I say we know how fortunate we are. My parents married young and started a family soon after. I think they survived Caroline’s kidnapping by making damn sure they always put us first. As strong as my mother is, I doubt she would’ve survived if she hadn’t learned she was pregnant with me a few weeks after my sister was taken.”
“I’m so sorry, Cash. I’d like to say that I can’t imagine how that would feel and, truly, I count my blessings that Abby is in this back seat instead of...” She couldn’t finish the sentence without getting so choked up she could barely breathe. What his mother, his family, went through was inconceivable. “After what we’ve been through in the past twenty-four hours, I can only imagine it’s the tip of the iceberg compared to what your parents have endured. Bad things shouldn’t happen to such good people.”
“To be honest, I don’t think my mother ever stopped looking for Caroline or hoping she’d show up one day out of the blue.” The pain in his voice struck a chord. One event could change the course of someone’s life so completely. The randomness of life hit home.
“Hope can be a beautiful and yet painful thing,” she acknowledged.
“Truer words have never been spoken.” He rocked his head and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. His voice softened when he said, “Thanks for listening to me talk about my family, by the way. You’re the first person I’ve wanted to talk to about them.”
“Thank you for trusting me, Cash.” Hearing that he’d opened himself up to her and shared his pain with her sent another dangerous shot of warmth to her heart.
“I just thought you should know that you�
��re special to me.”
Renee’s heart really beat double time hearing those words. She wanted to tell him that she felt the same more than anything. But the words died on her lips and all her defenses flared. What was wrong with her that she couldn’t? How broken was she that she couldn’t utter the words trying to form on her lips?
Instead of talking, which she’d never been all that good at anyway, she reached out and touched his arm.
One touch shouldn’t bring so many parts of her to life—her body, her mind, her heart.
Saying that she was in trouble when it came to the devastating man sitting beside her would just be stating the obvious. Truly opening herself up would require more than desire, more than heat so intense it pinged between them even now. She wanted to be able to let her emotions take over and go with the feelings pulsing inside her. But she couldn’t.
The tapes embedded so deep in the back of her mind played a different message. They sent a warning. They told her that every relationship would end up like her parents’ toxic one. They said everyone would eventually let her down. They said that she couldn’t really trust another soul.
Her situation with Jamison was sad. She felt a fool for staying longer than she should’ve. But a man like Cash could devastate her if she got into a relationship with him and it ended. And considering she was no good at relationships, it would end.
Renee withdrew her hand and apologized.
“Why are you sorry?” The hurt in his voice put another chink in her carefully constructed armor.
“I just am.”
* * *
CASH COULD FEEL the temperature in the cab change the minute Renee pulled her hand back. Had he done something wrong?
The fact that he’d wanted to talk to her about his family and his past still shocked him. He tried to convince himself that he was putting his witness at ease by sharing a common bond. The voice inside his head—the one that didn’t put up with any snow job he tried to sell—called him out.