Kelan's Pursuit (2019 Reissue)

by Lavinia Lewis

  Cody scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

  “Huh?”

  “You heard me. He doesn’t want me.”

  “But that’s impossible. You’re mates. How can he not want you?”

  Kelan shrugged again, feeling more depressed than ever.

  Cody hadn’t had this problem when he’d met Stefan—both had been elated to find each other, just as it should be. The same went for his youngest brother, Luke. Even though neither Luke nor his mate Mark had been gay when they met, the pull of the mating bond was so strong, they soon got over that inconsequential fact and became inseparable, almost from the beginning.

  The mating bond usually transcended everything when a wolf found his other half. It was much more than simple attraction—it was a compulsion to be with that person. Something that was very hard to fight. But Kelan had to keep reminding himself that Jake was not a wolf.

  Clearly, the bond didn’t have the same effect on humans.

  “I don’t know, but he told me to leave or he’d call the cops and have me thrown out.”

  Cody’s mouth fell open in shock.

  “I don’t understand, did he ask you to leave when you told him you’re a wolf?”

  “I didn’t have to tell him, he just knew.”

  When Cody’s face became even more confused Kelan continued.

  “My eyes and teeth shifted in front of him. I couldn’t control it. But he knew I was a wolf, Cody. He said he had promised himself he would never get involved with a wolf again.”

  “Wow. I wonder what happened to him. Do you think this wolf hurt him?”

  “If he did, he’ll regret it,” Kelan growled.

  “Why don’t you ask him about it?”

  “Did you not hear what I just said? He doesn’t want me. He never wants to see me again.”

  “He told you that?”

  Kelan thought back to the previous evening’s conversation. He remembered Jake asking him to leave a lot, but he didn’t think Jake had said he never wanted to see him again.

  “No, he didn’t.”

  “Well, there you go, then. Even humans feel the pull of the mating bond, Kelan. He’ll probably want to see you again just as much as you want to see him.”

  “You think so?”

  “I’m sure of it.”

  Kelan felt emboldened by his brother’s words. He got up and grabbed his jacket.

  “You mind if I come back and help you with this later?”

  “Of course not. Go to your mate—you’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t try.”

  Kelan nodded. “Thanks, bro.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Jake let himself into his apartment.

  He was disappointed at first that Kelan wasn’t there waiting for him when he got home. He shook his head, trying to banish the thought. He couldn’t think about Kelan any more. He’d thrown him out last night, and if the man had any sense, he wouldn’t come back for more of the same treatment.

  He poured himself a drink and sat down heavily, the word still running through his mind. Mate.

  He knew enough about wolves to know if Kelan truly believed that, there was no way he would let Jake go that easily.

  Hope began to swell in his chest.

  Maybe this time would be different.

  Maybe Kelan wouldn’t leave him as everyone else in his life had.

  No.

  He couldn’t think like that. He wouldn’t let himself. He would only end up getting hurt again, and this time he was sure it would be worse than before. He had only known Kelan for a short time, but he could see how easy it would be to fall in love with the man.

  He didn’t think he’d be able to live through Kelan leaving him, too.

  Matt’s betrayal all those years ago had hurt like hell. It had taken Jake a long time to get over the pain of losing his first and only love. Could he open his heart to another person?

  He wasn’t so sure—it would probably be best not to risk it.

  There was only one solution. He needed to get laid. He was sure some hot young man at Liberties would help take his mind off the wolf. He finished his drink then strode to the bathroom to get ready.

  Twenty minutes later, Jake started the short walk to the bar.

  His heart sank with each step he took. This had seemed like a good idea at first, but now he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t in the mood to pick someone up.

  It felt like a betrayal of Kelan.

  Jake scoffed at the ridiculous thought. He barely even knew the man. But the thought of being intimate with someone else, instead of starting a fire in his belly, left him feeling chilled to the bone.

  Kelan was across the street from Jake’s apartment when he spotted Jake walking away from the building.

  He frowned.

  He’d told Jake the previous evening that he’d be back to see him tonight. Didn’t Jake believe him? Or was the man purposely avoiding him? He was about to turn around and go back to Cody’s, but the thought caused an ache in his chest. He needed to be with his mate and he didn’t care what it cost him.

  Kelan followed Jake down the street.

  He was close enough to pick up Jake’s scent on the wind and it was all he could do to keep from running to the man and carrying him home like some sort of caveman. Jake’s scent called to him. It was the sweetest thing he had ever known. But as he got closer, he could sense the emotions pouring out of Jake. They hit him like the blast from a furnace and they very nearly brought him to his knees.

  Jake was miserable.

  The confusion and sadness rolling around inside him made Kelan want to throw his arms around him and promise him that everything would be all right.

  But would it?

  Kelan wasn’t even sure of that himself.

  All he knew for certain was that Jake was suffering and he was powerless to do anything about it.

  A moment later, Jake stopped walking.

  He stood in the street unmoving before taking a seat on the steps of a nearby apartment building. Kelan watched as he leaned his arms on his knees and hid his face in his hands.

  With a heavy heart, Kelan crossed the road and walked over to his mate.

  “Jake?”

  Jake’s head snapped up and his eyes widened.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I told you I’d be back tonight. We need to talk, Jake, this is important.”

  “I was on my way to the bar where I met you last night. I was going to pick someone up and take him home with me.”

  Kelan felt a growl begin to form in his chest but, with much effort, he kept it inside. The thought of Jake being intimate with another man was suffocating. His heart hurt, feeling tighter and tighter as though it were being squashed in a vice. He pulled in a shaky breath then took a seat on the step next to Jake before his legs gave out.

  “If that’s what you were going to do then why are you sat here?”

  Jake lowered his gaze. “I couldn’t go through with it. I don’t know why.”

  “I do.”

  Jake met Kelan’s eyes and seemed to be eager for his answer.

  “It’s because we’re mates, Jake. I don’t know exactly how the mating bond works in humans, but for wolves, it’s very strong. Now that I’ve found you, the thought of ever being with anyone else repulses me.

  “I can’t describe how much it hurts to hear that you want to be with someone else.”

  Jake sighed. “I don’t want to, exactly, but I think it would be for the best if I did.”

  “How do you figure that?”

  “Because I can’t do this, Kelan.”

  “Do what?”

  “This, us. A relationship.”

  “You don’t want a relationship with me.”

  It wasn’t a question but Kelan hoped Jake would give him an answer anyway. Preferably one that wouldn’t break his heart and shatter his whole world.

  “I don’t want a relationship with anyone.”

  “Why not?”
<
br />   Jake stayed quiet. Kelan thought he wasn’t going to answer his question, but then Jake sighed again and looked up at him.

  “If I don’t get involved with anyone, then I can’t get hurt.”

  “That sounds like a very lonely existence to me.”

  Jake shrugged. “Maybe, but it’s worth it.”

  “I don’t think it is. Besides, that isn’t even an issue. You’re my mate. I could never hurt you.”

  “How can I trust what you say? You probably believe what you’re saying is true but you can’t know that for certain. No one can know what will happen in the future. Things happen.”

  Kelan wasn’t sure Jake was talking about the two of them anymore. At a guess, he’d say Jake was referring to whatever had happened in his past.

  “I can know that because you’re my mate. I don’t know how much you know about shifters, but mates are sacred.

  “I would die rather than hurt my mate and every other shifter I know feels the same way. I’ll earn your trust. I promise. You’ll realize over time that this was meant to be and that I would never hurt you.

  “Can’t you at least try? What’s the worst that could happen?”

  “You could leave me,” Jake said, quietly.

  Kelan frowned.

  Is that what had happened? Had Jake been involved with a wolf that had left him? Broken his heart? He took hold of Jake’s face, forcing him to meet his gaze.

  “Only when I’m dead,” he said, with conviction. “Wolves mate for life. I would never leave you, nor would I want to.”

  Jake shook his head. “No. You can’t know that for sure. You don’t even know me. What if you get to know me and decide you don’t like what you see? Where would that leave me?”

  “That wouldn’t happen. This is destiny, Jake. We’re soul mates. You and I were made for one another. You can’t fight fate forever, it will always catch up with you in the end.

  “You have to take a chance on us. It will be worth it in the end. We can be very happy together. I’d do my damndest to make you happy.”

  Kelan saw a glimmer of hope on Jake’s face and relief surged through him.

  He slid along the step and put his arm around Jake’s shoulders. Jake tensed at first, then relaxed into the hold, leaning his head onto Kelan’s shoulder. Kelan kissed the top of his head and then ruffled his hair.

  “Does this mean you’re willing to try?” Kelan held his breath in anticipation.

  Jake hesitated for a moment then said, “I’ll try.”

  Kelan let out a breath. “That’s all I ask, baby.”

  As he held Jake close, a surge of emotions flowed through Kelan ranging from relief and pride to overwhelming happiness.

  It looked as if all was not lost with his mate, after all.

  Kelan closed his eyes and sent up a prayer of thanks to whatever deity had made his dreams come true.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jake poured Kelan a drink then sat down on the sofa next to him.

  Now that he had made the decision to try to make things work with Kelan, he felt as if a lead weight had been lifted from his chest. He was still nervous and worried that Kelan might disappear on him, but if he wanted someone in his life—no, if he wanted Kelan in his life—it was a chance he would simply have to take. The alternative was too depressing to think about.

  Kelan had been right about the mating bond.

  What Jake felt for the man was more than attraction or desire. He couldn’t call it love, of course, because he barely knew Kelan, but he could quite easily see it heading that way. Despite his reservations, he felt happy when he was with Kelan and all of his insecurities and doubts seemed to fade with the man’s presence.

  “So, is that a Texan accent I detect?” Jake took a sip of his scotch.

  Kelan nodded. “It sure is, born and bred.”

  “What brought you to New York?”

  “My brother,” Kelan said, fondly. “He recently mated with an alpha from New Mexico, so he’s going to be moving there for a little while. I’m here to help him pack. General dog's body, at your service.”

  Kelan chuckled, lifting his drink in a salute.

  “New Mexico!” Jake spluttered. “Rather him than me. I can’t imagine living anywhere but here in New York.”

  Kelan nearly choked on his drink.

  “What do you mean? I can’t stay here forever, Jake. At some point, you’re going to have to come back to Texas with me.”

  Jake glowered. “Excuse me?”

  “Well, yeah. I’m the alpha of my pack in Texas, and it’s not like I can ask the entire pack to move here. You’re going to have to move to Texas.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jake glared at Kelan.

  He couldn’t believe the man’s audacity. They’d only known each other for twenty-four hours and yet Kelan expected him to up stakes and move to God only knew where in Texas?

  Like that was going to happen.

  “I’m not moving anywhere.”

  “You don’t have much of a choice. I told you, I can’t move here.”

  “I didn’t ask you to.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Look, I told you I was prepared to see where this thing between us goes, but if you thought that meant I’d be quitting my job and moving to Texas with you after only knowing you for a day, you can think again.”

  Kelan lowered his eyes and stared at his drink.

  “Oh my God, you did think that, didn’t you? You selfish son of a bitch! What? Is your career more important than mine?”

  “Being pack alpha isn’t a career choice. It’s who I am.”

  Jake sighed.

  This was getting them nowhere.

  He was tired of fighting with Kelan, but he couldn’t see any way this was going to work out. They were two very different people from very different lives. How were they supposed to find any common ground?

  “There will be a way around this.” Kelan sounded more confident than Jake felt. “We just have to find a compromise.”

  “Please tell me you’re not proposing a long-distance relationship,” Jake scoffed.

  Kelan frowned. “Hell, no. I have no intention of being separated from you for long periods. I couldn’t stand that. How could I protect you?”

  “Protect me?” Jake spluttered. “Protect me from what? There was no price on my head last time I checked. What the hell?”

  Kelan had the good grace to look embarrassed.

  Jake stared at the man, waiting for him to answer.

  Eventually, Kelan lifted his head and met Jake’s gaze.

  “Um yeah, about that. I’m an alpha wolf, Jake. I don’t think you fully understand what that entails. I don’t like being jealous or over-protective, but unfortunately, that’s who I am.

  “I look out for the members of my pack and I will look out for you, too. I want to protect you. It makes me feel good to know that I can. It’s my job to keep you safe.”

  Jake sighed. “I don’t need protecting. In case you didn’t notice. I’m a grown man. I can look after myself.”

  Kelan put his drink down on the coffee table then shifted closer to his mate. He cupped Jake’s face in his hands and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

  “I know that. Trust me, I’ve got a pair of eyes in my head. I can see that you’re all man. But you have to understand, I want to look after you. It’s important to me.”

  “Maybe we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one,” Jake said with a smirk.

  Kelan grinned and took Jake’s drink out of his hands, placing it down next to his own.

  “I can live with that, for now.”

  Kelan slanted his mouth over Jake’s then slid his tongue between Jake’s lips.

  Jake didn’t fight him, just opened right up, his arms sliding around Kelan’s neck, pulling the man closer.

  Kelan seemed surprised when Jake pushed him back on the sofa and straddled his legs, seating himself in his lap. He sucked on Kela
n’s bottom lip, biting it teasingly before plunging his tongue into Kelan’s mouth. He was sure Kelan never gave up control in the bedroom but, if he wanted to be with Jake, he was going to have to learn to do just that.

  At least some of the time.

  “I want to fuck you.” Jake released Kelan’s mouth and licked a path down his neck.

  Kelan stilled.

  Jake set to work sucking up a mark on Kelan’s neck.

  He didn’t know how the alpha would feel about Jake marking him, but he had a strong desire to let the world know that Kelan was his and strictly off-limits. The wolf still hadn’t responded to his request.

  Jake was sure Kelan would be struggling with his dominant side, but Jake would not back down. If Kelan wanted him as a partner, then that partnership had to be equal.

  Jake would accept nothing less.

  “Okay.”

  Jake stopped what he was doing and sat back on Kelan’s lap.

  Had he heard the man correctly?

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. I said okay. If you want to fuck me, then do it.”

  “Just like that. No arguments? I really thought you’d give me shit over this.”

  “I’ll be honest with you, Jake, it’s been a long time since I let anyone do that to me. I like to be in control, you know? But you’re my mate.

  “I want to share everything with you. I already told you I want to make you happy and if that makes you happy then it’s alright with me.”

  Jake was at a loss for words.

  He was touched that Kelan trusted him enough to want to be with him in that way. Even though Jake always topped, he was used to twinks who expected it, asked him for it, even. He knew how difficult a decision that must have been for Kelan—it would be for him, too.

  When you’d fought hard your entire life to gain control, relinquishing it was never easy. Kelan seemed better able to compromise than Jake had expected him to.

  Maybe things could work out between them after all.

  He captured Kelan’s mouth again, kissing him hard. Within minutes both men were panting, their cocks hard and aching. Kelan lifted Jake off his lap and got up. He pulled Jake up and led him to the bedroom.