A Summer of Chances

by Roxanne Tully

  “The tide’s finally reached us,” he said, standing and pulling me up.

  I moaned silently. I wasn’t ready for our night to be over. I pulled up his blanket, and he grabbed our shoes and his clothes, and we ran off the pier.

  Once we reached the sand, Rick jumped off and helped me down. I looked past him. Everyone had gone, and the only source of light were the streetlamps along the boardwalk, which had ended about a quarter of a mile back. We were completely alone. Rick had apparently not lost the momentum once we’d reached the shore and dropped our belongings into the sand. He pulled the blanket out of my hands and laid it on the sand, tossing our shoes over it.

  I pursed my lips and squinted as he indirectly implied our night wasn’t over. Then my heart fluttered and fell into my stomach as another thought crept into my mind. I turned to face the swooshing sound of the ocean waves, rather than focus on the loud beating coming from my chest. I silently but heavily breathed in the ocean air and opened my eyes as a softer, more welcoming feeling swept through me. It wasn’t nerves or excitement. It was a feeling of complete and total freedom, belonging, and happiness.

  Before I had a chance to wonder how long it would last, I felt Rick’s hands gently trail down my arms and land on my waist. I closed my eyes again, the sound of the waves now a distant memory. All I heard was his breathing in my ear just before he kissed the back of my neck. I felt as though I could have sunk right into the sand, but he held on to me and spun me around. We let ourselves tumble down onto the blanket. His breathing intensified, and he pulled away, searching my eyes.

  “Do you want to go back?”

  I never wanted to go back. But unable to speak at the moment, I just shook my head, putting my hand on the back of his neck, pulling him toward me. I wanted him at that moment more than I wanted to take my next breath. I didn’t care if it was too fast or impulsive. I just wanted him.

  As he kissed me, his fingers playfully lingered on the back of my neck where my bikini top was tied. I pulled away from his lips and gave him a small smile. He grinned back widely at me and slowly pulled the strings apart. He pressed his body against mine, kissing me again and pulling the rest of the blanket over us.

  There was still the fluttery feeling in my stomach when I woke up to the sunrise the following morning. This time it might have been nerves and excitement. I knew it hadn’t been the first time for either of us, but the coyness of waking up together was still there. At least for me.

  I reached for my dress, which was lying half off the blanket and covered in sand. The wind blew most of it away when I lifted it. I felt Rick’s hands graze the back of my neck when he reached to tie the strings of my bikini top. I turned my head slightly and grinned sleepily at him and then slipped my loose cotton dress on over my head, grateful that I hadn’t chosen a denim skirt and complicated halter top.

  Rick looked out into ocean for a moment. Then he twisted around to face me. He had a look on his face like he was about to challenge me to a debate.

  “What are we doing?” I asked cautiously.

  “Close your eyes.”

  I looked at him skeptically, then I closed them.

  “What do you see?”

  “The sunrise.”

  “What color is it?”

  “It’s not out yet. It’s just pink lines,” I answered, though vividly seeing the image under my eyelids. I was playing along with wherever he was going with this.

  “Is it warm where you are?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where’s it coming from?”

  “Somewhere in the east, I suppose.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course, the sun always rises in the east.”

  “How do you know you’re not watching the sun set?”

  “Because it’s never a sunset; it’s always…” I trailed off.

  “The start of a new day?”

  I frowned, then slowly opened my eyes. Rick was watching me intently. “Yes,” I said after a moment.

  “Why do you watch the sunrise every morning?”

  “It’s not every morning,” I replied, shifting uncomfortably. “Just seasonally, and I do sleep in some days.” I felt myself getting defensive and wondered if he’d known that the sunrise would have been what I imagined when I played along with his out-of-the-blue game.

  “Have you ever wondered why?”

  “It’s just what I do.”

  “There’s a reason for everything, Amy. You just have to figure out what yours is.”

  I felt a rising urge for a defense, and an invisible wall went up while he was playing his game. For a moment, I thought he was turning out to be just like everyone else—questioning my reasoning and doubting me. But this was different. Rick was going deeper into the meanings behind everything I did.

  Rick watched me ponder those last few words for a moment before pulling himself up and reaching a hand down to me. He held on to my hand as we started strolling back toward the spot on the boardwalk where he’d parked the night before.

  I wanted to smile but was afraid that it would become a permanent fixture if I dared to let it free.

  “Well, when I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”

  He spread a wide smile. “Good, because to be honest, I’m curious about what it is that drives you.” He stopped to look at me. “You’re one of the most incredible women I’ve ever met, and I’m pretty certain whatever your reasons are, you’ll figure out where you belong and what you’re meant to be.”

  He kissed me again before opening the car door for me.

  A rush of dizzying emotions twirled through me as I walked back into my room. I barely remembered how I’d got back there. I’d been walking in a daze since I left Rick. The romantic in me wanted to dance around to the music in my head after my amazing night. The cynical part of me was still stuck on his earlier words to me: What drives you?

  I thought there was something that drove me. Something that inspired me. Something that told me that I needed to get away and force a new beginning for myself and maybe figure it out. Maybe even make a mistake somewhere along the way, but that was okay because I was young enough to make them.

  But all it seemed to do was attract attention from friends, family, and people I’d met only a mere two weeks ago as they waited in suspense until I figured it out.

  Suddenly making the wrong decision felt terrifying. As if I were on stage and everyone except for me knew my next line and wondered if I’d get it right. I shook my head to clear the image of walls closing in on me.

  I needed to call someone. But not Rick or Rachel; I needed to hear a familiar voice. I reached for my cell and took a deep breath, deciding to reach out to my best friend and pray she’d put her anger aside to help me find my calm place.

  It rang twice and the voicemail abruptly answered. I sighed and hung up, almost relieved she didn’t feel like talking. I knew what she wanted to hear from me anyway, some reassurance that her permanent-resident best friend would be coming back soon.

  I stared at my screen before dialing another number that was second nature to me: my dad’s.

  CHAPTER 20

  After the morning classes on Thursday, Rick and I went for a stroll along the boardwalk. We walked farther down the path than I’d ever traveled. The shops and restaurants were now nowhere in sight, and the beach was emptier on that end.

  “Should we turn back?” I asked. I didn’t want to be late for our afternoon sessions.

  “Not just yet. I want to show you something.”

  “Yeah, okay. That doesn’t sound creepy,” I joked.

  “Relax.” He smiled and turned to a four-story building that stood just behind the parking under the boardwalk. “Besides, we’re here.”

  I looked up at the old-fashioned stony-white apartment building. It held rows of copper-fenced balconies overlooking the ocean. The windows weren’t wide, but the balcony doors probably made up for the exposure. Looking around briefly, I figured it was probably the oldest bui
lding on this side of the beach. It might not have been impressive inside, but its authentic appearance was something to be appreciated.

  “What is it?”

  He beamed at me. “It’s where I’m going to live. I signed the lease early this morning and I pick up the keys on Friday.”

  “Rick. That’s amazing. Have you told Jill?”

  “Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.”

  I smiled back at him thoughtfully.

  “I wish I could show you the inside. It’s not too shabby, I’ll admit, for the rent. It’s perfect, I mean, I work at the club all year-round and go to school a half hour from here. Plus, it’s got a great view.” We turned to the ocean.

  “Yeah, I’ll say.” I agreed in a daze, looking into the glistening ocean.

  Rick slipped his fingers through mine, pulled me for a slow, intimate, and breathtaking kiss.

  Rick’s new path made me excited for him but even more confused about my own. Mine wasn’t as…concrete.

  “I think we have time to grab some lunch before we pick up the groups from swimming,” Rick said, interrupting my thoughts.

  I broke my gaze from the building and focused on him. A natural smile spread across my face when I noticed how happy and proud he was. And I had inspired it. I nodded and held out my hand to him.

  The next two weeks seemed to go by in a flash. Once everyone, including myself, got a handle on the daily regime, time seemed to go like ice at a lemonade stand—regretfully quickly. I was subconsciously dreading every day that went by. The closer we got to the middle of the summer, the closer it was to the end of it.

  With every passing day, the small voice in my head warning me that I would soon need to make some decisions, was getting louder and harder to ignore—not to mention the lingering ball in my stomach that I didn’t want to admit existed.

  I was blissfully happy. Rick and I had snuck a few moments together between classes and spent most evenings together. Some mornings he’d surprise me by finding me on the beach right before sunrise, but he knew enough to let me have most mornings to myself. It was heartening, the kind of subtle attention he’d pay to the things that he knew mattered to me.

  On Friday afternoon, I had just finished hanging my older class’s artwork in the gym. Molly had helped me find some wooden clips and string to hang along the walls of the large, multipurpose room. Earlier in the week, in an effort to boost my campers’ motivations, I’d initiated a contest. There would be a winner between each of my three age groups and a universal winner, where one would be picked from all three. It was always more exiting when you got all the campers involved in the same competition.

  And it was making a difference, I noted, as I stepped back to admire their work.

  “Not bad—for a bribery,” Sarah said, coming out from the gym office.

  I spun my head dramatically with my jaw dropped. “It wasn’t a bribery,” I said, only half defensive.

  “What’s the grand prize?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

  I looked away. “A twenty-five-dollar gift certificate to the camp gift shop,” I mumbled.

  Sarah grinned widely. “I’m kidding. It was a terrific idea. One that we should probably do more often, especially for the sports classes.” Sarah looked around more closely at the art. “Hey this is good stuff, Ame.”

  I glanced over at her by the middle classes’ art corner. “Thanks, but they’re not mine.”

  “No, but you’re the one who inspired and guided them,” she acknowledged as she slowly made her way along the wall. “What are these?” She pointed to my oldest group’s paintings.

  “Oh, that’s a spot I found by the west pier.”

  “I can tell, but they’re all different. And nothing I’d seen before.”

  “I know.” I had picked a perfectly empty, serene spot, where they’d be no distraction and very little scenery. “The project was for the kids to draw the scenery just as it was—the beach, the sky, the pier—and then add something, anything that they wanted that pier to lead to.” I asked them if that short pier could lead to any place or anything they wanted, what would it be? I hadn’t expected the kind of creativity I got from my ten year olds.

  A little blue house surrounded by flowers, where there were “no adults allowed,” Kayla had made clear in her heading. A pier that continued until you’d seen the whole world and then would lead you back where you started. One that led to an enormous apple tree and each time an apple fell, you made a wish. Miguel drew the beach just as it was, because it was, he thought, perfect and shouldn’t be changed. Some were better than others, but all manifested who they were and hopefully gave them some idea of what they wanted out of life.

  “Amy, this is brilliant work.”

  “I know. These kids are amazing. What they come up with…”

  “No. What they realize they can do, all this imagination that directly relates to the beauty and nature of life—it’s all stimulated by you.” She stared at me as if I wasn’t seeing what she was seeing.

  I gazed at the paintings, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the compliments.

  I felt Sarah watch for a moment as I took in each piece that hung from that group. “Whatever your quest for finding yourself is, Amy, we’re happy it led you here.”

  “Thank you.”

  CHAPTER 21

  Saturday morning, I opened the door to my apartment, ready to meet Rick at the beach. I grabbed my keys, threw on my raincoat, and sprung open the door. My eyes flew open, and tears started to well up when I saw who stood on the other side.

  “Dad?” I threw my arms around him.

  “So, you did miss me?” he joked as he returned my hug.

  I stepped back to look at him. My dad was average height. Didn’t tower over me but I still had to look up at him. His hair was showing fewer black stands and more of the silver, as I called it. His skin was darker than mine, but he and Marci traveled a lot, so I didn’t remember how much of it was natural.

  “Come in.” I beamed.

  “Are you sure? Looks like you’re about to head out.”

  “Um…yeah, but it can wait.” I wasn’t prepared to tell my dad about whatever Rick and I were. For all I knew he’d make of it, I’d moved here for a guy.

  “So, you want to show me around? What have you been up to here?” he said in his best attempts at sounding excited.

  I smiled at him thoughtfully. “What are you doing here?” I was thrilled to see him, and pretty sure I had an idea of why he came. But I wasn’t bracing myself to hear it just yet. I knew my dad too well.

  “Can’t a dad fly out to visit his only child just because?” He looked around my room, distracted.

  “Of course. I’m so glad you’re here. I want to show you around. I just need to make a phone call.”

  “What’d you think? I’m only in town for a few hours? I’ll be all right. You go do what it was you needed to do, I’ll go look at some shops I saw along the boardwalk. Marci will kill me if I don’t bring back a frame for her, or something.”

  I really liked Marci, but I was glad my dad came to see me alone. “Okay. I won’t be long.” And maybe I wouldn’t come back alone, I thought giddily.

  “Won’t you need an umbrella?”

  “No, the coat’s enough. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

  “Okay.”

  I ran out and headed down the stairs just as it started to pour. I paused and debated if I should run back for that umbrella. I was already running late, but I also didn’t want to be drenched and freezing later. I sighed and jogged back to the room. I opened my door and reached for my gray umbrella, when I noticed my dad had laid his backpack on the floor.

  I always had a superstition about bags on floors, so I lifted it and set it on a chair by the kitchen counter. In the front pocket, I saw his travel papers and was curious to see when he was going back.

  There was something strange about his return flight. It wasn’t the fact that he was planning on leaving in a few days. It
was that there were two tickets.

  A moment later, Dad came out of the bathroom, drying off his face and hands.

  “Dad, why do you have two plane tickets back home?”

  He stared at the pamphlets I held tightly in my hand and put the towel on my dresser. “Amy, I want you to come back home with me.”

  “What? On Friday?” I stammered. I knew where this was going and couldn’t find better words.

  “Yes. This Friday. That should give you plenty of time to tie up some loose ends here and pack up.” He waved his hand around as if he’d just asked me to clean my room.

  “Loose ends?” I scowled. “Dad it’s barely the middle of the summer; I’m not abandoning my job or my kids.” I stared and waited for him to process that thought, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. He needed to know something else. So, with a single exhaled breath, I gave it to him. “Dad, I’m happy here.”

  “It didn’t sound like it when I talked to you.”

  I snorted. “Well, did you even consider that maybe I sounded upset because I didn’t want to come home?”

  “I don’t think that’s true. I think all this is a cry for attention.”

  I threw my hands in the air and turned away as tears burned in my eyes. I held back a scream. A cry for attention? How dare he even think that?

  “You need help deciding on a future for yourself,” he burst out.

  “Why? Why do I need to decide now?”

  “Because the longer you wait, the more likely you’ll be to drop out.”

  “Is that you think? That I want to quit school?”

  “It sure as hell looks like that’s what this is.”

  “Denver has nothing to offer me. There’s nothing that I want to do.”

  “Fine, we can figure it out together when we go back home and think things through—do our research, find what’s right for you. But we need to act fast.”

  “Why we?” My dad was clearly missing the point of me being out on my own. “And why can’t I do my research here?”