Robin Hood: Hacking, Heists and Flaming Arrows

by Robert Muchamore

  ‘We got lucky,’ Marion said, as she felt Robin’s hand slide back around her waist.

  ‘Luck?’ Robin laughed. ‘That’s exactly what I was going for.’

  56. THE LONG WALK HOME

  The trouble that started in Civic Square had spread throughout the populated parts of Locksley.

  As Robin and Marion rode across town towards Sherwood, they saw buildings on fire and a group of city youths who’d looted a liquor store then turned vodka bottles into petrol bombs when the cops came.

  Marion thought there might be Rangers blocking the major forest roads because of the trouble, so they rode a couple of kilometres up a busy Route 24 and pulled off at an unmarked exit that had once formed the start of a scenic walk.

  The moonless forest was dark and the path heavily overgrown. They abandoned the bike after four hundred metres, rolling it away from the path and tearing up ferns to hide it.

  ‘This is as close as we’ll get a bike to Designer Outlets,’ Marion said.

  ‘You reckon it’ll be here when we come back?’

  Marion shrugged. ‘Someone might stumble on it, but it’s a big forest.’

  Their eyes adjusted to the dark as they swapped sneakers for boots and split the money so they both carried the same load. Robin was amazed at how Marion navigated a kilometre of black forest, locating a dribbling stream. After a brisk fifty-minute walk, where the water never topped their boots, they met the more powerful stream they’d wound up in two nights earlier.

  Neither of them fancied wading, so Marion found a crossing that was a mix of stepping stones and a precarious walk over two rotting logs. Once they were across, they could see Designer Outlets’ south parking lot, and Marion pulled out her radio to let the watchtower know they were coming in.

  It took half a minute for a guard to open a steel-plated door, then they stepped into the southernmost tip of the H-shaped mall. Nobody lived down this end because it regularly flooded and there was a muggy, mushroom, smell.

  ‘This is my cousin, Freya Tuck,’ Marion introduced. Then to Freya, ‘I thought you’d be in town throwing rocks through windows.’

  ‘Worst night to draw guard duty,’ Freya complained. ‘I’ve heard the whole of Locksley has kicked off.’

  ‘Pretty much,’ Marion nodded, then broke into a huge yawn.

  ‘I need my bed,’ she said. ‘I’m trashed.’

  ‘You wish,’ Freya grinned, as Robin caught the yawn. ‘I’ve got orders to take you up to Will’s command tent. He’s cheesed off with you guys going AWOL.’

  ‘Freya, let us sneak up to bed,’ Marion begged. ‘I can handle Will in the morning.’

  ‘He heard your radio call,’ Freya said, shaking her head. ‘He’s expecting you.’

  57. STEAL FROM THE RICH, GIVE TO THE POOR

  Will ran Designer Outlets from his sand-coloured command tent directly beneath the three-storey watchtower.

  The inside was hung with maps of the mall and surrounding forest, detailed plans of electrical and plumbing systems and an enormous whiteboard with rotas for everything from guard duty to tending rooftop vegetable gardens.

  ‘Sit,’ Will growled, snapping his fingers from behind a desk as Freya led the pair in.

  Indio was there and Marion got a thank-God-you’re-alive hug, followed by a finger-wagging scowl.

  ‘The next time you decide not to answer my calls or reply to my voice messages, I might decide that you don’t need a phone!’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Marion said guiltily, backing away from her mum and settling into the seat next to Robin.

  ‘I’ve had search teams out looking for you,’ Will said angrily. ‘Karma and Indio have been worried sick. When you set off, we assumed you were a lot more responsible than this. It is never acceptable to stay out of touch when we call you.’

  ‘If you want to be treated like adults, you have to act like adults,’ Indio added. ‘Maybe I should send you to live with your dad for a while. You’ll be a lot worse than grounded if you break Cut-Throat’s rules.’

  Robin and Marion looked awkwardly at one another until Will pounded on the table.

  ‘Did Gisborne cut out your tongues?’ he asked. ‘And what’s with the leggings and unicorn?’

  ‘Stop smirking,’ Indio growled.

  ‘I’m not smirking.’ Marion smirked, as Robin reached into his backpack and placed a six-centimetre wodge of hundred-pound notes on Will’s desk.

  When Marion saw his stunned reaction, she reached down into her bag and did the same.

  ‘I haven’t done an accurate count,’ Robin said softly. ‘But it’s roughly a hundred and twenty.’

  ‘Thousand,’ Marion added.

  Now the grown-ups did stunned silence while Robin found his voice.

  ‘I need ten to pay to Tybalt for Dad’s legal costs,’ Robin began. ‘I think me and Marion should be allowed to each keep ten for ourselves, cos we don’t exactly have rich parents and we’ll need stuff as we grow.

  ‘The other ninety is for Designer Outlets. The clinic, the library, education programmes …’

  ‘Maybe get the night-vision goggles you want for the watchtower,’ Marion suggested.

  The pair kept stacking money as they spoke until Will could barely see their faces over the mound.

  ‘I’m really sorry I ignored your calls and made you all worry,’ Marion said. ‘But we needed to do this, and I knew you’d say no.’

  ‘I’ll take whatever punishment,’ Robin added. ‘Ground me. Make me dig vegetables or clean toilets. Just don’t kick me out, because you people are all I have.’

  Will fanned some of the notes and almost smiled as he broke silence. ‘This money will make a huge difference. But where did it come from?’

  Before Robin or Marion could answer, Indio started blubbing.

  ‘I’m so touched that you did … whatever you did … to help out,’ she sniffled as she wrapped her arms around Marion. ‘But I was so scared that Gisborne had got you, and no amount of money could ever compensate for losing you.’

  Marion’s eyes glazed with tears as Indio stepped sideways, making Robin feel loved as she hugged him too.

  ‘Same goes for you, Robin,’ Indio said. ‘But you know we’d never kick a child out of here, so don’t come at me with the puppy-dog face …’

  ‘Am I still grounded?’ Marion asked, glancing up cheekily.

  ‘I’ll reduce it by half,’ Indio said, unable to hide a smile as tears streaked her face. ‘You were grounded for two hundred years, now it’s just one hundred.’

  Will had moist eyes too, but he spoke seriously. ‘I appreciate what you’ve done, but you can’t go gallivanting without letting adults know.’

  ‘No more crazy adventures,’ Indio said firmly. ‘I’ll let you off this time. But you both have to promise.’

  ‘I promise,’ Marion sighed. ‘Sorry, Mum.’

  Robin nodded in agreement. ‘No more adventures, ever.’

  But of course, they both had their fingers crossed.

  EPILOGUE – THE LEGEND OF ROBIN HOOD

  ‘Good evening, this is Channel Fourteen serving the Central Region. I’m Lynn Hoapili with a specially extended evening news.

  ‘The City of Locksley awoke in a state of shock this morning, to broken glass, smouldering buildings, more than fifty arrests and a dozen wounded law-enforcement officers.

  ‘For some, last night’s events were a terrorist outrage, sparked by a car exploding inside Locksley Central Court, and further proof that rebels and refugees in Sherwood Forest are out of control.

  ‘For others, the violence was an inevitable result of Sheriff Marjorie Kovacevic’s increasingly harsh policies, which critics say demonise and discriminate against Forest People.

  ‘But when we spoke to people on the streets of Locksley today, there was just one name on everyone’s lips.

  ‘Twelve-year-old Locksley High pupil Robin Hood escaped into the forest just one week ago, following an incident that ended with the shooting of contro
versial local businessman Guy Gisborne.

  ‘While last night’s rioting took place, Hood is believed to have disguised himself as a girl and robbed two ATMs for more than £100,000. The pint-sized thief then escaped on a motorbike after wounding two police officers.

  ‘A CCTV camera mounted in the car park of a neighbouring donut store caught footage of Hood’s dramatic escape and a balletic display of speed archery that already has more than twelve million online views.

  ‘Earlier today, Channel Fourteen went to Locksley High School and spoke with two of Robin’s classmates, Stephanie Trump and Tiffany Stalin.’

  The bulletin cut to a shot of two girls in too much make-up and Locksley High polo shirts.

  ‘I always thought Robin was cool,’ Stephanie told the camera. ‘Like, a total bad boy … But, like, I guess … Like, even cool people can’t rob ATMs and shoot cops with arrows.’

  ‘I loved that unicorn hoodie in the CCTV,’ Tiffany added, before giggling and looking at her friend. ‘It’s awesome that he’s in touch with his feminine side.’

  Stephanie nodded. ‘I tried buying one online for my boyfriend, but it’s sold out everywhere.’

  Lynn Hoapili did a voiceover, as the image cut from the two girls to a big man in a bad tie. ‘Robin’s Head of Year, Joseph Barclay, also gave us his thoughts:’

  ‘Robin is a very able pupil,’ Mr Barclay began. ‘He got into a few scrapes, but he’s basically a nice kid.

  ‘We’ve now got “Robin Hood Lives” written all over our school. I can’t condone graffiti, or assault, but I think Robin has become a symbol of the frustration Locksley High pupils feel at everything, from education cuts to getting harassed by corrupt cops on the street and seeing Forest People die because they can’t get hospital treatment.’

  The report cut back to Lynn in the studio.

  ‘Other people we spoke to in Locksley today pointed out that Robin symbolises unity. A city boy who crossed the divide and moved into the forest. And while the Sheriff of Nottingham has often blamed Forest People for problems in her county, last night’s protests were notable for involving Locksley residents and multiple forest groups.

  ‘But while some see Robin Hood as a youthful hero, and mascot for a burgeoning protest movement, the head of Locksley Police Department, Karen Thomas, made it clear she did not share these feelings.’

  The broadcast cut to a mean-looking cop with lots of gold braid on her uniform.

  ‘Last night’s terrorist action, the subsequent rioting and the violent robbery committed by Robin Hood has caused millions of pounds in damage, frightened ordinary citizens and left seven of Locksley’s decent, hardworking police officers in the hospital,’ Chief Thomas began.

  ‘As of now, I am officially putting Robin Hood at the number-one spot on Locksley’s Most Wanted list. And to those who think that someone who shot and wounded a well-respected businessman and two of my officers is a hero, I say this:

  ‘Robin Hood will be caught. And when that happens, his punishment will be severe.’

  FOOTNOTE

  35. Marion’s Theory of Education

  * This is not true. The latest scientific studies show that only 94.3% of what you learn in school is pointless, while a mere 37% is designed to crush your spirit and turn you into an obedient worker bee for evil capitalists.

  Look out for

  Read on for an extract …

  NEWS UPDATE

  ‘Good afternoon, this is Channel Fourteen serving the Central Region. I’m Lynn Hoapili with your local headlines.

  ‘Our top story is that traffic on Route 24 is still subject to severe delays after a tyre blew out on a truck filled with zebras during this morning’s rush hour. The vehicle rolled onto its side and the rear doors flew open as it smashed into the central barrier.

  ‘Eyewitnesses described scenes of chaos as weak and filthy zebras escaped the truck and stumbled into twelve lanes of busy traffic. Several vehicles crashed as they swerved to avoid the animals. Five motorists were taken to hospital by air ambulance and while most of the animals fled into surrounding forest, vets had to destroy one zebra that was hit by a car.

  ‘A spokesperson for the Animal Freedom Militia has claimed the zebras were being shipped to Sherwood Castle for an upcoming trophy hunt and that cramming so many animals into a small truck is a serious breach of animal welfare regulations. Sherwood Castle management has so far refused to comment.

  ‘In other news, there has been a surprise twist in the controversial trial of Ardagh Hood. Moments before his case went before a judge, Hood accepted a plea deal. In return for a three-year prison sentence, the Locksley man pled guilty to the theft of laptop computers and to resisting arrest.

  ‘Scuffles broke out when news of the guilty plea reached Ardagh’s supporters outside court, and police made several arrests. Hood’s lawyer, Tybalt Bull, said he would have liked to continue the fight to prove Ardagh’s innocence, but that his client risked a sixteen-year prison sentence if he had been found guilty after a full trial.

  ‘Those are the noon headlines. I’ll be back with our main bulletin at one o’clock.’

  1. PINT-SIZED TEARAWAY

  Sherwood Forest stretched across the land, from Lake Victoria to the swampy Eastern Delta. Twenty thousand square kilometres, inhabited by bears, snakes, gigantic crunchy-shelled bugs and a vast population of yellow birds that lived nowhere else on Earth.

  Estimates of Sherwood’s human population varied between thirty thousand and a quarter of a million, and most of them were hiding from something. Bandits, bikers, religious cults, terrorists, refugees and one twelve-year-old boy with a £100,000 bounty on his head.

  To find Robin Hood you had to travel eight kilometres north from his birth town of Locksley, take a right off the twelve-lane Route 24 expressway, then hike down a road that had mostly been reclaimed by forest until you reached the parking lots of Sherwood Designer Outlet Mall.

  It was more than a decade since the sprawling mall sold its last bargain kitchenware and discounted handbags. Now the abandoned H-shaped shopping centre housed a well-organised outlaw community, protected by trip wires, motion alarms and armed guards stationed on a precarious wooden observation tower.

  Although it was just after one on a spring afternoon, Robin Hood had taken to his den on the upper level of an abandoned sporting-goods outlet. The den was eight by six metres, with walls made from wobbly shop partitions. He sprawled face down on a musty but comfortable mattress, buried under oversized cushions, two duvets and a Berber rug.

  Robin’s bestie, Marion Maid, had been sent upstairs to tell him lunch was ready. She only realised he was under the mound of bedding because a couple of grubby toes poked out.

  ‘Hey, pal,’ Marion said quietly, as she knelt by the bed. ‘Everyone’s about to eat.’

  ‘Don’t feel like it,’ Robin said.

  His words were clipped because he didn’t want Marion to hear that he was upset. Normally she’d have dived into the cushions or grabbed Robin’s ankle and tickled his foot. But today was different.

  ‘I’m really sorry about your dad,’ she said.

  ‘I can’t even visit him without getting busted,’ Robin complained. ‘My mum’s dead. And my big brother is living in luxury at Sherwood Castle with his new mommy.’

  ‘You’ve got me,’ Marion said. ‘And everyone here has your back.’

  Robin didn’t respond, so she tried a different tactic. Unfortunately it came out sounding grumpier than she meant it to.

  ‘What are you gonna do? Stay under that mound of covers for the rest of your life?’

  ‘I can try,’ Robin snapped back.

  ‘If you can’t face everyone, how about I bring a plate up? This afternoon we can watch a movie on Netflix. Take your mind off things.’

  ‘Internet’s down,’ Robin said. ‘And there’s nothing to do. I’m totally bored and I’m not allowed out of the mall.’

  ‘What are we supposed to do? With a hundred-thousand bounty on your
head, every scumbag in Sherwood Forest will be after you.’

  Marion watched the mound of covers shift slightly. Dust billowed as the rug slid onto the floor and she smiled as Robin sat up, sweaty and shirtless. His eyes were gluey from crying and his hair was even messier than usual.

  ‘What’s funny?’ Robin asked, as he stretched and yawned.

  ‘You look adorable,’ Marion teased, as she spotted Robin’s T-shirt on the floor and flicked it towards him. ‘Like a lost puppy.’

  ‘I’m actually kinda starving,’ Robin admitted, a bit more cheerful as his head popped through the neck hole of his shirt.

  ‘You’re always starving,’ Marion said.

  ‘Growing boy,’ Robin said, slapping his belly, then creasing up his nose. ‘Why do you stink of fish?’

  ‘Went fishing with my cousin Freya,’ Marion said, as she sniffed her hoodie. ‘Must have got splattered when we were gutting them.’

  Robin looked sour as he stood up. ‘Thanks for inviting me.’

  ‘We didn’t invite you cos you can’t leave the mall without guards,’ Marion said, as Robin pulled on wrecked Vans.

  ‘I can’t hack another week sitting around here, with nothing but schoolwork and your aunt Lucy’s sudoku books,’ Robin said. ‘I need an adventure – like busting my dad out of jail.’

  Marion laughed. ‘We’re twelve, and Pelican Island is the most secure prison in the country. So ten out of ten for ambition, but a fat zero for practicality.’

  ‘So I sit around here, getting older, doing nothing?’

  ‘We get bossed around by grown-ups, do boring schoolwork and try to have fun when we can,’ Marion said. ‘That’s basically what being a kid is.’

  ‘Who wants to be an ordinary kid?’ Robin asked determinedly as he grabbed the carbon-fibre bow hooked on the wall beside his bed. ‘I’m not ordinary, I’m Robin Hood.’

  Robert Muchamore’s books have sold 15 million copies in over 30 countries, been translated into 24 languages and been number-one bestsellers in eight countries including the UK, France, Germany, Australia and New Zealand.