Wolfsbane: The Wolf Within

by Bethany Shay Porteous

  “Evie?” Lucy shook my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

  “I don’t know,” I whimpered as my hands shook and my stomach ripped another growl. “I’m starving.”

  Blair crouched in front of me with a frown. “What have you had to eat today?”

  “A lot,” Grace scoffed. “The girl would have eaten an entire cow if she could.”

  I gave Blair a more descriptive answer and he shook his head. “That’s not enough,” he told me. “You’re doing more strenuous activity and using more energy. You need to be keeping yourself well fed and not on garbage either.”

  “I have eaten less and exercised and felt fine,” I complained as Lucy handed me an apple.

  “Your body is changing Evelyn,” Blair told me. “It’s expecting more food. You’re in no state to train. Grace, take her home and get her fed. Both of you, if you’re late to the next session you’ll be doing laps until you collapse.”

  ∞

  “Geez Evelyn,” Grace huffed. “Since when do you need more food?”

  “Since my body is changing?” I scoffed as I ate my second round of sandwiches. The Luna was watching me carefully and I swallowed the bread. “I’ve just been hungrier lately that’s all. He’s right; I am doing more physical activity.”

  “Your appetite shouldn’t be increasing this much though,” Grace said. “It’s strange. By the way mom, Aiden nearly flipped his shit when he found out that rogue and Karla were coming for dinner.”

  “That rogue has a name Grace,” the Luna sighed as she went back to chopping vegetables. “He seems like a genuine wolf just born on the wrong side of the tracks.”

  “Aiden looked ready to rip into him,” Grace said. “His face when Evelyn realized she knew him…man if you could have seen it.”

  “Grace if you enjoy seeing your brother battle with his beliefs then I suggest you take a moment to put yourself in your brother’s shoes. He’s a young wolf who will one day have the responsibility of this entire pack on his shoulders. He runs more patrols then some of the fighters and encounters rogue wolves more often than he does pack members.” The Luna set down her knife with a sigh. “Aiden still has a lot to learn but I’m not going to hold his prejudice against him. It’s up to all of us to help him broaden his mind and making fun of him will not help at all.”

  Grace went quiet and I continued to eat my sandwiches however, a little less enthusiastically. I thought over the Luna’s words and wondered how exactly I would make Aiden see that not all rogues were bad. The dinner could be a start hopefully and I knew Karla would be coaching him at this very moment on proper pack etiquette and how to address the Alpha family. How nerve-wracking it would be for him, I remember how nervous I had been to meet the Alpha and Luna.

  I heard the front door slam and heavy feet thud upstairs and I knew it would be Aiden. I quickly excused myself and made my way upstairs. I needed to make sure he was calm and okay. Pushing open the door I watched as he shrugged out of his shirt. He was covered in dirt and I cringed as he dumped the muddy item on the cream carpet.

  “Aiden,” I said softly as I shut the door behind me and made my way over to him. “Are you alright?”

  He looked down at me with those beautiful brown eyes and I was surprised when he cupped my cheek. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured as he rested his forehead against mine. “How did I get so lucky?”

  “Aiden,” I blushed as I pushed at his chest.

  “It’s the truth,” he told me as he caught my hand. “You’re beautiful and kind and understanding…you don’t like hurting people or disappointing them. You don’t judge anyone…how are you—how can you—you’re selfless.”

  I bit my lip as I cupped his cheek. “Aiden, you’re selfless too.”

  He was quiet for a moment as he brushed the hair from my face before he shook his head and shut his eyes. “I don’t know what it is Evelyn, but I just—there’s something about rogues.”

  “I know,” I said softly. “H-how can you handle Alpha Hudson…his family came from rogues.”

  “He was a pack Alpha when I met him,” Aiden shrugged. “To me he’s always been a pack wolf. It’s natural wolf instinct to be weary; rogues spend more time tearing packs down than they do joining them. My wolf is screaming at me to get rid of him.”

  “Well you’re in control,” I reminded him. “You’re wolf needs to remember that you’re the one who gets the final say. You—you must give it a chance Aiden. This will be a test for you as well as Sam and you might—you guys could find common ground working together.”

  He squeezed my hand and brought it to his lips before he chuckled. “I love your positivity I can’t get over how you always try and find a silver lining.”

  Leaning up I cupped his cheek and softly pressed my lips to his, internally sighing as his arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. He gently backed me into the chest of drawers as his mouth trailed down my jaw and neck toward the mark he had given me. The simple feeling of his lips caressing the mark made my skin break out in goosebumps and my mind go static. His hands gingerly grazed up the sides of my body and I brought his lips back to mine eagerly.

  A sharp knock on the door broke the mood as Grace’s voice followed soon after it. “Mom says get dressed for dinner!” Aiden and I were both breathing heavily and as Aiden laughed I knew it was mostly in irritation.

  “I can’t wait until we go to college and get our own private space,” he grumbled as he let me go sounding even more frustrated than he had when I had come in. “I’m so sick of being interrupted.”

  “Hey,” I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to me. “Don’t get so worked up just breathe and maybe keep in mind that we have all night ahead of us. People in this house actually do go to sleep and you have soundproof bedroom thanks to your magical mate.”

  That was enough to draw a grin on his face and in turn his grin allowed me to relax and not worry as much over the fact that we were about to dine with a rogue.

  ∞

  “So, Sam,” the Luna started as she set down a bowl of vegetables. “How are you finding pack life?”

  “It’s a little different,” he admitted. “I’ve never been in human form for so long…it’s been a long time since I’ve sat at a table to eat.”

  “Yes, I can imagine it would be an assault on your senses,” the Luna smiled at him genuinely. “I have never spent more than a full month in wolf form. These days I feel more human than wolf to be honest. I’m a little too old to be running around in the forest.”

  “The forest isn’t the same as it used to be,” Sam said. “It’s a lot rougher these days and not just in Oregon but everywhere. Sometimes it felt like there were more rogues than there were wolves. It’s rougher and meaner than when I was younger. I was born into it and abandoned pretty early as well, I had to learn fast to survive.”

  “Your parents left you?” Grace asked curiously.

  “The wolf that fathered me left the moment he found out my mother was pregnant,” Sam sneered at the memory. “My mother waited until I was old enough to shift and then she was gone. They weren’t mates those two.”

  The Luna looked shocked for a second before she quickly took a sip of her water. Alpha James looked far from impressed and even Karla wore a pinched expression on her face. The wolves who brought him into the world were not mates so not only was Sam not a rogue, but he was also what would be considered amongst most pack wolves as a mutt. The word truly sent shivers through me, I loathed that word with every inch of my being, but it was still thrown around even with the younger pack wolves.

  “How did you end up in Idaho?” I asked as I tried to break the silence that had blanketed the table.

  “I had been seeking refuge,” Sam said. “I’d been on the run for days from a small band of rogues I had stolen some money off. I thought maybe I could turn a new leaf and join a pack. The moment Idaho caught a whiff of me I knew I was stuffed. They tortured me for days and I wasn’t the only one down in that dungeon. The
y had kids in there. The moment I had an opportunity to escape I took it. That’s how I met Evelyn.”

  “I had been hiding out in the woods,” I mumbled as I moved around the peas on my plate. “Sam came out of nowhere looking as if someone had been beating him with a skillet.”

  “Goddess,” Karla hissed. “Idaho was always a trash pack.”

  “A group of rogues have been settling there,” Sam informed and everyone’s ears pricked at the information. “There’s about fifty of them and they have a leader too. Looks like they’re going to try and pull an Alaska to be honest.”

  “Fifty won’t be enough to win favor with the High Council,” Alpha James said. “Alaska had a hundred and they still wouldn’t acknowledge it.”

  “Well if they can hold Idaho it’ll be theirs,” Sam said.

  “Chances are the High Council will already be monitoring it,” the Alpha said. “If they haven’t made a move on them already then they’re probably okay with the group that’s settled there. The only issue would be the resettling of the compound and the humans getting nosey at all the new faces.”

  “They probably won’t need to worry about that,” Sam said. “That group works with witches and a little bit of magic goes a long way when warping a human’s memory.”

  “That’s forbidden,” I said in surprise. “They’re not allowed to—that’s an abuse of their power.”

  “Witches have law,” Sam agreed. “But there’s no fancy High Council for them. How many witches do you know that actually follow the rules?”

  “Plenty,” I argued. “My family and Hannah…my family’s coven.”

  “So, a handful of witches out of about what? Two million odd?” Sam shrugged. “At the end of the day they’re keeping the secret of wolves quiet. How much harm are they really doing?”

  The table went quiet again and I mulled over Sam’s words. I couldn’t find it in me to agree with him, messing with humans was a huge no in the magic world. My father had drilled that into me along with Hannah. It made me wonder why witches didn’t have a High Council but almost every other supernatural creature did. Was it because witches were so entitled—because Morgana had essentially created everything that they thought they didn’t need rules or someone telling them what to do?

  By the time dinner had ended and awkward goodbyes had been said the front door shut and the Alpha gave the Luna a look I couldn’t quite fathom but moments later she followed him into his office and the door clicked shut. Grace leant up against the door for a second while Aiden ran his hand down his face. He had looked tense and frustrated all evening.

  “I have a patrol,” he told me. “I’ll be home by midnight.”

  “Oh good!” Grace cheered. “Evelyn, we have some prom magazines we need to look at.”

  “Be careful,” I told Aiden as I kissed his cheek. “I’ll wait up for you.”

  The moment Aiden left Grace sighed loudly. “If that wasn’t the most awkward dinner I have ever sat through I don’t know what is.”

  “It was so bad,” I whined as we climbed the stairs. “He’s so nonchalant about…Karla is really going to have to keep an eye on what he says to the pack wolves.”

  “He’s used to throwing out his opinions,” Grace said. “That’s going to get him into a lot of trouble. Dad’s already worried, why do you think he took mom to the study?”

  “I feel bad for him though,” I murmured. “Imagine how hard his life must have been.”

  “Yeah,” Grace sighed as she sat down on her bed. “Alright come on we need to start deciding what we want to wear for prom. It’s literally going to turn up out of nowhere and no one will have any idea of what they’re wearing. We need to organize our limo and coordinate the boys’ ties with our dresses…what color do you think you’ll wear?”

  “I have no idea,” I said. “I’ve hardly thought about graduating let alone prom.”

  “You have seemed a little distracted lately,” Grace commented absentmindedly.

  I hadn’t been overly bad today…my mind hadn’t been wondering off to any dark anxiety ridden places and that awful cold voice had maybe only shown up once or twice. I knew the more I ignored it the better I would be. Making a big deal about it and dragging everyone else into it would have been fruitless. The moment Jonah’s cold face appeared in my mind I quickly pulled myself back to the task at hand.

  “Maybe I’ll go for red,” I announced too loudly.

  We both poured over the glossy magazines as we gushed over dressed and cringed at some truly hideous ones. This felt normal and relaxing to me and I found myself feeling light and calm as Grace talked to me about her ideal college experiences (all of which included her and Trey) before her tone became a lot more serious as we turned to life after college.

  “You and Aiden will come back and take over the pack,” Grace said quietly. “Trey wants to be a fighter and I want that as well. I’m a good fighter but he—he doesn’t want me to do it and Aiden has his back up about it as well. It isn’t fair. What else am I supposed to do?”

  “What about working in the clinic?” I asked.

  “I don’t want to play nurse,” she sighed. “I want to be in the action like when we fought Idaho. I know it was a shit thing but Goddess, the exhilaration and the adrenaline I felt. I had never felt more alive defending my pack and I took down a lot of enemies. I want that again. I’m not even allowed to run patrols!”

  I had to agree with her that it was unfair. “So, talk to your dad about it.”

  “I have,” she growled.

  I shut the magazine as I turned to study her. While she wasn’t as large as your typical fighter she was a darn good one. She taught me a lot of techniques and at times helped on the course as well. If this was what she truly wanted to do then no one had the right to stop her. “I’ll be Luna,” I told her.

  “That’s great Evelyn but we are talking about me right now,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

  “No,” I smacked her arm. “Grace my opinion counts too. I’ll be Luna and along with Aiden I’ll get a say on who joins the fighting team.”

  “Evie!” she gasped. “You little genius.”

  “Keep training,” I encouraged her. “Work your ass off and be as best as you can be. I’ll help you get where you want to be.”

  “You rock Evie!” she squealed with delight.

  “You have to be ready to expect a ‘hell no’ from Aiden,” I told her. “They’re only trying to keep you from fighting because they love you Grace.”

  “I know,” she nodded. “At the same time though it’s my choice and my life and it’s insulting that they can’t see how good I am.”

  We lay there quietly as we stared up at her ceiling and I found my mind moving forward to the future and what it would be like to run the pack as Aiden’s Luna. I’d spent a lot of time the last few months shadowing the Luna and I knew my training would continue even when I was Luna. She did so much for the pack and worked so closely with the children as well, rehoming the kids who lost their parents…after the battle there had been many children we’d had to place with families. The thought sent a heavy pang of guilt in my heart and I clenched my teeth to stop any emotions spilling over.

  “What do you think Katherine’s going to be like?” Grace asked. “Do you think she’s still a bitch?”

  “Who knows,” I sighed tiredly. “We’ll find out when she gets here.”

  “You know we’ll be having dinner with them,” Grace told me. “The Beta family, Goddess poor Hannah is dreading it. She broke out in hives the other day she’s that stressed about her coming back and I can totally get why. Katherine doesn’t approve of Hannah at all. I wonder how she likes being mated to a normal ranked wolf. She didn’t get the Alpha of her dreams, did she?”

  “I’m sure the mate bond would have worked its magic and she wouldn’t even care,” I said. “I wouldn’t care what Aiden’s rank was.”

  “Yeah well you aren’t an elitist snob,” she snorted. “Alright let’s call it a
night I’m exhausted and I have a math quiz tomorrow morning. We need to get all of us together so we can work out what we’re doing for prom. We’ll obviously host the after party—wolves only—but everything else is up in the air.”

  “We’ll get it sorted,” I assured her as I got up from the bed. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I left the room and made my way to mine, crawling into the bed suddenly feeling exhausted. I promised Aiden I’d stay awake so I made sure I didn’t get too comfortable and instead pulled out my phone. Opening my photos, I scrolled all the way to the beginning and found myself smiling at the photo’s I found. There were some from the first lake party I had ever been to, and I noted that I did look quite sickly back then.

  There was a shift in my body language though as the photos progressed and I found that pictures taken from the dates after the battle showed me looking a lot more confident. I slowly swiped through the beautiful scenic photos I had taken while in Alaska and I admired the beautiful snowy forests and mountains before my thoughts switched to Charlotte.

  When we had heard of the fighting that had taken place in Montana there had been uproar, especially when it was found that Alpha Hudson had gone against the orders of the High Council and had taken care of Alpha Dean in his own way. Aiden had told me he would have done the exact same thing and I didn’t think he was bluffing. Charlotte had looked exhausted and anxious the day I had met her and I was yet to see her now that her life wasn’t under attack.

  Putting my phone away I sighed and stared up at the dark ceiling, enjoying the peace and quiet inside of my mind. It hadn’t felt this silent and this relaxed in a while and I felt caution creep in. If I allowed myself to become too relaxed I knew that there was a chance that I could easily have another horrid nightmare or worse—Jonah would show up in this bedroom.

  Occupying my mind by wondering how the weird marks on Aiden’s ceiling had gotten there I kept control on my thoughts but that awful little voice I knew was sitting in the depths of my mind, waiting for the correct time to strike again.