Incubus Inc

by Randi Darren

  “I talked… to my grandmother,” Irma said. “About everything.”

  “I expected as much. Did she have any idea?” Sam asked.

  “She’d suspected, but no. She had no idea. No proof. I offered to share my Essence with her, but she didn’t want any of it. Said it’d be hard for her if it became as addicting as smoking had been.”

  “Mm. I honestly briefly considered your grandmother’s position,” Sam said. “With the idea that she was an Imp.”

  Oh, that sounds interesting. I wonder what teriyaki is.

  “I know of a planar lord who’s fallen on very hard times. He’d take on an Imp of your grandmother’s age. He didn’t plan as extensively as I did, and even now he’s trapped in an alternate plane without the barest of resources.” Sam folded his menu up and set it to one side.

  “He’s not an Incubus, though. He’s more of a… huh… I honestly wouldn’t know what to call him.” Sam paused to think on that. “He has a need to solve things. Figure things out. That’s how he gains Essence. Call him a spirit of intelligence.”

  Irma was watching him. She hadn’t spoken, moved, or even twitched the entire time he’d been talking.

  “Ah. I… I think she’d—actually, let’s finish our own business first,” Irma said, pausing as a waiter came over.

  “Are we ready to order?” asked the young man.

  “I’ll have the bourbon burger,” Irma said, then closed the menu and laid it down in front of the man.

  “And you? Can I get you a drink as well?” the man asked Sam.

  “Water, and the teriyaki-Ted burger please,” Sam said.

  The man scribbled something down on a pad and nodded. “Thanks. I’ll be right back with that water.”

  Sam looked to Irma, waiting for her to continue.

  “The contract you wrote out is very… tight. It’s also written in very straightforward language,” Irma said.

  “Contracts are easier when they’re spelled out. Did you have any questions?” Sam asked.

  “How long is it for?”

  “Indefinitely.”

  “In other words, as long as I live, I’d be your First Imp.”

  “Correct.”

  “And in the listed benefits, there was an item that said ‘eternal youth.’ Is that immortality?”

  “Yes, and it’s also eternal youth. You would remain the age you are today.”

  “In other words, we’d be bound for all time until one of us dies. There’s also a stipulation that if one of us causes the death of the other, we’ll incur a curse?”

  “Correct.”

  “Is any of that negotiable?”

  “No. I want a partner. Which is why the benefits listed out are significantly much better than what any other extra-planar lord would offer you.

  “A partner joined at the hip with me is one who would work to better both of us. I tried a lesser subordinate previously. It didn’t work out.”

  At all.

  Irma frowned, drumming her fingers along the table.

  “To sum it up, then,” Irma said. “I would become a partner, lesser by only a minor degree, and receive forty-five percent of all Essence we generate together. I would receive eternal youth, immortality, and healing classified as perfect regeneration. Increased strength, speed, and senses. And you’d also teach me Essence Magic. Or sorcery, as you had it listed.”

  “All accurate points,” Sam said with a nod.

  “And for that, I’d have to… have to let you feed from me when you wish, assist you in creating a clientele list, complete contracts, help you build out a ‘feed harem,’ and act as your agent when you’re off plane,” Irma said.

  “That’s the gist of it,” Sam said.

  “I want to make only two changes, and then I’ll sign your contract,” Irma said.

  Oh? Interesting.

  “And what changes are those?”

  “I want a percentage of the Essence from the ‘feed harem’ I put together, as well as a percentage from the clientele list I create,” Irma said. “I was thinking two percent on both of those would be fair.”

  Sam thought on that.

  It wasn’t a terrible request and wouldn’t put any strain on him. If anything, it might encourage her to work towards increasing the quality in both.

  “Agreed,” Sam said. “Did you make a new contract with those two clauses updated?”

  “Of course,” Irma said with a smile. Reaching to her side, she pulled out a small stack of papers. “My grandmother and I retyped it and printed it out.”

  Irma laid one set of the papers in front of Sam, then set down a pen next to it.

  Glancing down at it, Sam lifted up a single finger and used a trickle of Essence to rapidly scan the document for changes from what he’d written.

  It was exactly as Irma had said. There were only two changes, and both were as described.

  “Well, Irma, my beloved First Imp,” Sam said, turning the thin trickle of Essence into a tiny blade no bigger than a thumb nail. Easily, he sliced into the meat of his palm with it and then pressed his hand to the bottom of the paper. Then he held the blade out to Irma. “It’s time to sign and bind.”

  Staring at the tiny blade for several seconds, Irma seemed confused. Then she blinked, took the Essence blade, and cut into her palm without any further hesitation. She pressed her hand to the paper.

  “Now, give me your hand,” Sam said as he held his bleeding palm up. “Press your cut to mine.”

  Doing as instructed, Irma laid her hand on his.

  There was a soft hiss as Essence rushed out of Sam and into Irma. It was the remaining amount she’d technically earned from him previously, which was now hers by contract.

  “And done,” Sam said, feeling his blood circulating into her bloodstream through the cut in her hand. He felt it when it vanished into her heart and stayed there.

  Irma’s fingers immediately interlaced with his, and she brought their hands down to the table.

  “I can’t believe I did that,” she said, sounding breathy and nervous. “I’m going to live a very long time, aren’t I?”

  “I’m a very cautious person,” Sam said with a chuckle. “So yes, it’s very likely you’ll be my First Imp for many millennia, since I have no technical life-span. I exist as long as I wish to. Or have the Essence to.”

  “And we’ll be together the entire time,” Irma said, squeezing his hand.

  “Quite right. Now, your grandmother,” Sam said. “Did you want the summoning information for the planar lord? He’ll be pretty desperate. She could probably get almost anything out of him.”

  Irma nodded rapidly, smiling at him in a way that made Sam’s heart beat oddly.

  “Yes, thank you… Sam. I’d like that,” Irma said, gazing at him in a way that suddenly made him nervous. “Let’s have a nice dinner, then go get you fed. Will you stay the night?”

  Hm. Humans can be overly emotional.

  Did I rush this…?

  “I’d like you to swing by our office tomorrow and take a look around as well,” Irma said, still holding on to his hand. Sam could feel their blood mingling back and forth. It was a strange thing. He’d never had an Imp that didn’t immediately pull herself away once Sam’s blood entered her. “I’ve been having a gut feeling lately that something I’ve been dealing with is going to go wrong. Very wrong. But I can’t seem to figure out the source or what’s going on.”

  “Oh,” Sam said, feeling a little better. “I need to be back at my client’s apartment by dawn, but you can pick me up for lunch from my work. I’ll just glamour my boss into sending me out for some supplies or something for the rest of the day.”

  “Great,” Irma said. “Good. Thank you.”

  Her fingers were tightly interlaced with his own.

  “Tell me about your client,” Irma said with a smile.

  ***

  Stepping out of Irma’s sedan, Sam looked up at the ten-story building. She’d parked out behind the building, which was ap
parently the employee entrance.

  “We’re on the second and third floor,” Irma said.

  Sam nodded, impressed.

  Irma was in a better position than he’d thought.

  He’d gotten very lucky finding her as he had.

  “Grandma summoned that planar lord, by the way,” she said, coming around to stand next to Sam. “She’s in negotiations with him, so she’s out today.”

  “Ha. I wonder what Reixhitz will think about me giving his name out,” Sam said.

  “He was surprised. Grandma recorded it. She’s taking every precaution to get him nailed down in advance,” Irma said, walking toward a badge-access door.

  “Poor bastard. Ah well, he’s getting a chance. One no one expected him to get,” Sam said as he followed her.

  Irma pressed her badge to the door and got them in quickly. She also walked right by the security desk without bothering to stop.

  Turning to the elevator, she thumped the button with her palm.

  “Thanks for coming, Sam,” she said, her eyes moving up to his.

  “Of course. You’re my beloved First Imp. We’re in this for a very long time together,” he said. “How are you feeling, by the way? That was more last night than the previous time.”

  He’d literally worked Irma over from the minute they got home to an hour before sunrise. There’d been no time for breaks, rests, or anything else. Just one long marathon of Essence gathering.

  As far as he could tell from looking at her, she seemed fine. Not tired, worn out, or anything.

  “Sore, but getting used to that feeling already. It isn’t even unpleasant,” Irma said with a chuckle. “And I feel really good lately. Amazing, really. It’s a wonder what Essence does.

  “As for last night, everything was wonderful. Just exhausting and… sore, yeah. Worth it and then some, though.”

  “Great,” Sam said. “I’ll come over to your place around seven to start for the night?”

  “I… ah… yes. Seven. I’ll be home by then,” Irma said, her cheeks instantly becoming a burning red. “Is this going to be a nightly thing?”

  “For a while, at least. Months. Need to refuel quite a bit. You’ll become something of an Essence dump at the same time. Your capacity to hold Essence is unlimited as an Imp. It also doesn’t decay unless you use it,” Sam said. “Unlike me. I have to use it just to live.”

  “Months,” Irma said. “Okay. Okay, I can do this. This is what I signed up for.”

  The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Then they both got in, and the doors shut. They were alone.

  “Can I keep using Essence magic to, uh… restore myself? Since I didn’t really sleep, that is,” Irma said.

  “Of course,” Sam said.

  “Great. Okay. Going to be a very… very busy couple months.”

  “Only six or seven,” Sam said. “I’ll probably slow down to every other night. That’ll last for a few years. After that, we can slow it down to twice a week and you can start having more of a normal life again.”

  Irma closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her head.

  “I need to get you your ‘feed harem’ as soon as possible,” Irma muttered.

  “That’d help. Though, to be fair,” Sam said. “The longer we’re at this, the better I can tune your orgasms. I think I can get you up to at least three times where we were last night.”

  Irma shook her head, then began to slowly nod it instead.

  The elevator doors opened, and Sam was greeted by a floor filled with shoulder-high cubicle walls.

  They weren’t offices, but they certainly weren’t call-center cubicles either.

  “This is our web design, engineer, and maintenance teams’ area,” Irma said, exiting the elevator. “I run the maintenance department and report directly to my grandma.”

  Irma led Sam across the floor as she spoke.

  Sam took the time to look around at everyone. From where he was standing, he could actually see every single person’s face.

  She must have planned it that way. So she can keep an eye on them. Or someone did, at least.

  Searching from face to face, Sam did his best to sort through them as quickly as he could. He had plans on devouring Irma in her office, so if he could find out the problem now, it’d make it all the easier for him later to have lunch without a worry.

  Human, Human, Human, Zombie, Fae, Elf.

  Those were all normal races one found in jobs like this. They tended to do well with repeated tasks.

  Oh, wait. What’s this? A Doppelganger.

  Looking at a fairly mundane woman in the back corner, Sam paused for a second before moving on to the next.

  He didn’t want to give away that he’d noticed her, or that she stood out to him.

  Not bothering to settle on her details, since they could change as quickly as the wind, Sam felt like he’d found the problem.

  There was just the need of confirmation from Irma.

  Following Irma into her office, Sam closed the door and turned the lock.

  As Irma walked around her desk, Sam went to the blinds and closed them without asking for permission.

  “Tell me about the problems you’re having,” he said, sitting down in the chair on the other side of Irma’s desk.

  “Hm? Oh.” Irma sat down as well.

  She crossed one leg over the other, and he immediately saw the professional woman in her. He imagined she was probably a very different person for him than she was with anyone else.

  “We’re having data leaks and minor breaches,” she said. “Nothing huge, nothing that’s cost us much more than warning a client, but it’s slowly becoming more of a problem.”

  “Would you say it’s for personal gain or profit rather than trying to sabotage your business?” Sam asked.

  “Most certainly. The information being stolen is mostly data analysis. I’m sure someone could easily sell it, passing it off as their own. That or use it to buy and sell stock,” Irma said. “Nothing that would actually hurt us directly.”

  “Right. What else? Any clues? Thoughts? Suspects?” Sam asked.

  “Honestly? I have… no idea. Every time I think I’ve got the right person, I find out I don’t. They either have an ironclad alibi or were somewhere else entirely,” Irma said. “It’s frustrating.”

  “I can imagine. Your hunches… more when you’re looking at them, or when you’re thinking about them?” Sam asked.

  “Looking. Why?” Irma looked curious. Her brows were furrowed, and she was leaning toward him.

  “You have a Doppelganger out there. They do really well as spies and thieves, and they’re generally mischief makers,” Sam said. “Average-looking woman in the back corner.”

  “Hillary? No. Never. She’s… she’s…” Irma frowned, her eyes losing focus slowly.

  “I could be wrong. I mean, I have no proof. But that’s my guess,” Sam said. “If you want, all we’d have to do is call her in here, and I could easily confirm it.”

  “You could?” Irma asked.

  “Yeah, not an issue. Let’s do that after lunch,” Sam said, standing up. Then he patted her desk. “So hop on up and let’s eat, my beloved First Imp. Because I’m starving for you.”

  Irma blinked, her face slowly turning red.

  “Oh. Yes. Of course,” she murmured as she got out of her chair. Sitting down on her desk, she scooted over to where Sam was standing.

  “Enjoy your lunch,” she said with a smile, then lay down on her desk and lifted her hands up to rest on her head. “I know I will.”

  Nothing quite like an eager partner.

  Sam dismissed his constructed clothes, then laid his hands on Irma’s thighs and slid her dress up past her waist.

  “Thank you. I have no doubt I will,” he said.

  Six - New Hire-

  Irma pulled her dress back down. She looked fairly well put together by Sam’s reckoning. He’d tried to go easy on her while pinning her to the desk.

  “Thanks for no
t turning me into a wreck,” she said, fanning at her face with one hand.

  “That’d just be rude,” Sam said with a chuckle. “Especially since you were so kind as to let me have lunch.

  “You can use a speck of Essence to fix yourself. If you like, though I haven’t mussed you too bad.

  “And speaking of Essence, we’ll need to start training you in its proper usage soon. Not just the minor things we’ve gone over so far. Maybe start that this weekend?”

  Irma nodded as she sat down in her chair.

  “I never thought all this would happen to me,” she said, touching her own nose with a fingertip. Instantly she looked refreshed and immaculate, as if she’d just walked out of a salon. Her Essence usage wasn’t terrible, either. She had only used perhaps a single percent of everything she’d just gained in the last ten minutes. “Oh. That was easier than last time. Though I must confess, I’m getting too used to it. I’ve solved far too many minor problems with Essence.”

  “Yeah. It helps that our Emotional Essence quality is pretty high together. The quality of the Essence is really good, that is,” Sam said with a shrug. “Now… the Doppelganger. What do you want to do?”

  “Uhm, what can I do?” Irma asked. “I’ve never dealt with anything like this before. Before I met you, I thought everyone was Human.”

  “Mm,” Sam said, thinking. “I could dump her in my plane and leave her there. She’d probably die in—”

  “No,” Irma said. “No, no. No killing, Sameerixis.”

  Sam blinked at the full usage of his first name, then smiled at Irma. “Fine. For my partner and my First Imp, I can easily agree to limit deaths. Though there will come a time where we must do such a thing. It’s the way of our world.”

  “Thank you,” Irma said, giving him a sweet smile. Reaching across the desk, she took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “I really appreciate that, Sam.”

  Nodding his head, Sam once again wondered if he hadn’t made a mistake with Irma. She was treating him far too intimately. He’d noticed it several times already, and it seemed to be getting more frequent.

  “Irma, you do realize what I am and that—”

  “Yes, yes, I know,” she said, waving her free hand at him. “I’m probably romanticizing this a touch, but we’re in it for the long haul. It’s better for us to be intimate. More than just lovers.