Timeless love

by Priscila Serrano

  Elsa was nervous the whole day and couldn’t stop thinking about him. Alicia invited her to go out at six in the evening, but she didn’t want to go to any place in case she would be late for her meeting with Stefan.

  “Oh, come on. It will be fun. You don’t have to stay locked at home any longer,” she said excited.

  “It’s just that I don’t feel like going out. The exams left me drained and I need relax right now.”

  “Come on. Come with me. You need to celebrate your exams are over, right?”

  Elsa smiled and shook her head. “We’ll have time to do that when we go on our trip.”

  Alicia frowned. “What do you mean?”

  Elsa laughed out loud, since making Alicia be confused was quite funny. She hadn’t had time to tell her anything about it, so it was about time she did it.

  “My father told me it would be a good idea to go on holidays for a week. Away from everything and everyone. And I had thought that…”

  She couldn’t finish her sentence because Alicia jumped to her feet, yelling like a mad woman. Elsa couldn’t stop laughing and her stepsister fell on her to hug her, as if it had been her idea instead of her father’s.

  “You are kidding!”

  “No, I’m not. Get off me, Ali,” she asked, pushing her.

  They pulled apart and sat again. Alicia’s expression showed utter happiness. She was crazy for choosing a destination where they could go for a month, and not just a week. Although she knew Elsa wouldn’t agree to be away from her father for so long. Sometimes, she thought about what Elsa would do when she left for university; it would be really hard for her to be away from her family. They continued talking for an hour, thinking about possible destinations. Finally, they decided they would go to Venice. Elsa didn’t like that idea at the beginning, since she wanted to go to the beach, but the idea of walking around the streets of Venice and go to the opera… she loved classical music. So she agreed to go to Venice. They would tell her father so he could buy the plane tickets for the following week.

  Around eight o’clock, Alicia left, tired of trying to convince her to go out with her. Elsa was alone at last, wishing for midnight to arrive soon in order for her to go to the basement.

  Madrid. 2018

  Why do they say that time heal all wounds when it’s a blatant lie? When did they come up with such a stupid phrase? And who came up with it? She wanted to give that person a good beating. It was a lie, an absolute lie the weak used to feel stronger. Nonetheless, the strong know the meaning of such a stupid phrase: nothing can heal a wound that is still open.

  Stefan had relocated and was living in Madrid at the time. He had found a job that fulfilled him and was so demanding that he had no time to think about anything else. But, in the darkness of his bedroom, in the wee hours of the night, when he should be sleeping, memories flooded every corner of his mind, mixing them with dreams he would like to be true. And nothing made sense. Memories, dreams… nothing was real. The only true thing was the pain he felt inside his heart in the middle of the night. The pain that made his heart beat so hard he thought it would break into pieces.

  So no, time doesn’t heal all wounds and it doesn’t heal the soul either…

  Chapter 6

  London. 2015

  Half past eleven. Elsa couldn’t stop pacing in her bedroom, looking at the clock every second.

  During dinner, he wasn’t there. He had gone out. She thought she could focus on talking to her father about the trip. Alicia wasn’t there, so she told him everything about it. Her father was happy to learn about the destination they had chosen and told her a few anecdotes of when he went there with her mother. That moved her and she couldn’t help but cry. Her death was still too recent for Elsa to believe it was true.

  At midnight, she sighed and counted to twenty before opening her door, checking that nobody could see her get out. She closed the door carefully and walked barefoot so nobody could hear her footsteps. She was controlling everything. She went downstairs and headed to the basement’s door—it was ajar. She sighed a few times and, once she was calm, she was certain that calmness wouldn’t last too long. She entered and locked the door so nobody could enter. Being caught down there with him was the last thing she wanted. She didn’t want anybody to see them there, alone, and doing… well, whatever they would do there was a complete mystery.

  “Stefan,” she murmured when she got there.

  There was complete darkness and nothing to lit up the space. If she had known that, she would have grabbed her phone or a flashlight. She thought for a moment that he wasn’t there, that he had played a trick on her, that he was lying to her… however, when she least expected it, she found him sitting under a dim light.

  “Elsa,” he muttered, standing up to face her.

  He wanted… what did he want? He didn’t know.

  “I thought you wouldn’t come,” Stefan declared, nervous as he had ever been in his life.

  “Why wouldn’t I come?”

  He shrugged.

  “I think you are not aware of what happens between us, Stefan.”

  “I don’t want to be aware of that,” he declared bluntly.

  Elsa took two steps back, analyzing what he had just said.

  “I’m sorry, but I think it is about time you and I talk seriously, and…” She took a step towards him. “I think it’s better if we keep our distances, please.”

  “Of course. I’ll be right here,” she declared, sitting on the other end of the ancient sofa.

  Stefan sat down on the same place she had been sitting when she arrived. He looked down at his bare feet; he had done the same as her for fear of being discovered. Elsa noticed that and smiled, something that made Stefan look at her again to see that perfect smile, the one that made him want to make her laugh.

  “Well, why did you want me to come if you are going to be quiet?” she asked, breaking the ice.

  “Right. Sorry.”

  “Are you going to stop apologizing at any time? It’s starting to be bothersome.”

  Elsa was behaving like a little girl, proving what he already thought. What he didn’t know was that she was doing that on purpose to make him believe something that wasn’t true. It was reverse psychology, or that was what she pretended to do.

  For a second, Stefan stared at her. He watched how she moved her hands while talking, noticing how nervous she was and how bad she was at acting.

  “I don’t think you would be a good actress,” he mentioned. She frowned her forehead in a comical way. “You are not good at it. You are too expressive, like an open book,” he declared, making her even more nervous.

  “An open book?” He nodded. “And what do you find in it? Describe every page as if you were reading me, Stefan. Sometimes I don’t know who I am or what I am doing in this world.”

  It was hard to hear her saying that when he had seen the worst part of her pain. He was now getting to know the passionate Elsa, the one who did whatever she wanted, even if it wasn’t the correct thing to do or the right desire.

  She got a bit closer to him. He was afraid of touching her because he knew he would lose his mind. He was trying to think clearly but it was really hard. It was extremely difficult being next to her, smelling the aroma wafting from her hair. He liked her smell too much; he had always liked her somehow. Before, she made him feel peace, fondness… now, all of that was mixed with raw desire.

  “At this moment, some of your pages are blank, waiting for someone to write in them.” Stefan paused for a second. “It’s just that you believe you know that person and then…”

  “You have no idea, Stefan,” Elsa interrupted. “That person, without knowing it, has already started to write and the blank pages you see is just what I want to show you.”

  Elsa had turned his thoughts upside down once more. He didn’t want to feel the need to wrap her in his arms, to kiss her until losing control, but it was inevitable. Now, feeling all confused, he wanted to know what she wasn’t show
ing him, what she had written without his knowledge, because he was sure he was the author of every sentence in that book; he just wasn’t brave enough as to see it clearly.

  He got a bit closer, brushing her hands, provoking himself in an insecure way. He fixed his eyes on the floor again, losing the train of thought because what he really wanted to say was that he knew it was him the one who had written in those pages. As much as she denied it, he knew exactly what those pages said without her having to say. Especially because she had also started writing on him, overwriting anything written by any other woman. Elsa had arrived with her fingers, her words, her looks, and had crossed out everything else.

  “Do you think this is something we yearn for because we have lived loneliness together?” he asked.

  “We have never been lonely; at least I always had you.”

  “Do you have an answer for every question?” he asked again, this time staring at her eyes.

  She smiled and nodded. “Why do you think this is a mistake? Do you think I’m not mature enough for you?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think you are immature.”

  “You only answered one of the two questions.”

  “I know.”

  “What are you waiting for to reply then?”

  “I can’t.”

  They fell silent. Sometimes it was easier and more comforting to say nothing instead of saying things that could be hurtful.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I cannot lie to you.”

  That reply was the one she needed to know what was starting between them wouldn’t finish. At least it wouldn’t finish that very night.

  She covered his hand with hers, touching it gently, feeling nervous all over. He got goosebumps, showing her what she made him feel with a simple touch. The only thing she couldn’t understand was why they had started feeling that now, taking into account they had been so close before. It could be because she had been focused on the loss of her beloved mother before, so she thought the person comforting her was only doing what she needed at that moment. But now it wasn’t comfort… it had evolved to become desire.

  How could they breathe normally when they were so close?

  “This cannot happen, Elsa,” he whispered, closing the gap between them slowly. He touched her forehead with his and closed his eyes. “But it is so difficult not to feel you in my chest. It’s too difficult not to want you when I have already savored your lips.”

  Elsa didn’t close her eyes. She wanted to etch in her memory every single one of Stefan’s gestures. Then he opened his eyes and found her glance. He couldn’t escape from the little teenager who, without being aware of it, was turning his world upside down. He didn’t want to feel anything for her… he couldn’t do it. But you cannot always get what you want. Everybody’s fate was already written and, if she were the one destined to enter his heart, she would stay there for sure.

  His hands were shaky and clammy. He had never been so nervous before kissing someone. And so he kissed that mouth that tempted him so much.

  Both of them wanted to find the will to pull apart—they obviously couldn’t find it. It was very clear that they couldn’t have a secret relationship, since truth always prevails and everybody would end up knowing about it. They knew all that… What would they do to avoid tripping on every obstacle they would encounter along the way? If they wanted to be together, they had to change some things. If they wanted to stay away from each other, they had to do the same. All they needed was changes.

  After they pulled apart, they looked at each other. They were smiling this time. Such a strange way to deny their feelings, right? Supposedly, that was the night when Stefan was going to tell her they couldn’t be together.

  “This is getting out of hand,” he mentioned, kissing her once more.

  “Yes, but I don’t mind,” she replied, her heart sinking, her soul almost abandoning her body.

  “So what happens now?”

  “I don’t know. How about we let time decide?” she proposed, fearing she would get another negative answer.

  “I think that, no matter how long it takes, this will continue like this, tempting us every minute of our lives.”

  That answer surprised her, since she wasn’t expecting Stefan to say something like that. He could have said that letting time pass was the best option. Or maybe that it was best to get away and see what happened. As her father told her a few days ago, what will be, will be.

  Madrid. December 2018

  Getting that invitation during those special days was something he hadn’t expected or anticipated at all. He started trembling since going back home was upcoming. After so long living in loneliness, after an inner search that only managed to hit him in the middle of the heart, showing him what he had left behind, what they asked of him, and what he didn’t know how to accept. He had to have fought for such a huge love, for a woman who always gave more than what she received. He must have fought for something worth its while. He didn’t do it and he hated himself for that. Now, at that precise moment, he had to think about the next step to take… But he couldn’t think clearly when he knew he would see her again within two months.

  What would he do when that moment arrived? What would he do when he had her in his arms on such an important day for their families? Would he be able to carry on as if nothing had happened, or would he be brave enough as to do what he should have done all those years before?

  Fighting for what one loves should be the number one priority for every person, especially when you were putting your heart on the line.

  Chapter 7

  London. 2015

  Free at last. Classes were over and they were packing for their trip to Venice. Her father would give them a ride to the airport; Stefan had left the house earlier that day because he didn’t want to see her go. He knew she would come back in just one week and he would be there, awaiting her arrival… at least he wanted to do that. But plans can go awry and that week, apart from being too long, would make him think too much.

  The girls were in Elsa’s bedroom, giving the final touches to everything they would take with them. By the looks of it, one could say they were leaving for one month, since they were packing more clothes they could possibly wear in just one week. Alicia closed her suitcase and helped her stepsister to close hers.

  “Well, the time’s arrived,” Alicia said.

  Elsa looked at her and smiled while nodding. They grabbed their luggage and left the room to meet her father in the living room, where he was waiting to take them to the airport.

  Elsa couldn’t stop thinking about him, about the night they spent in the basement, about what they said after that, and about their decision to let time pass by. Elsa had meant the week she would be away, but she wasn’t sure about what he had meant. From that night on, they hadn’t met again and she didn’t even know whether he would say goodbye to her.

  Downstairs, her father was waiting next to the front door together with his wife Corina. They felt happy for their daughters, for the fact of seeing them so happy, traveling together as if they were real sisters.

  Alicia and Corina had suffered so much in life that sometimes they found hard to believe they finally had a family who loved them so much.

  “Finally!” Leonard exclaimed. “It took you ages, girls.”

  Elsa looked around, looking for him… but Stefan wasn’t there.

  “He left early today,” Corina said, noticing what Elsa was searching for.

  “Uh, I… never mind.” Elsa shook her head and shrugged.

  “But he told me he would call you two later.”

  Elsa hugged her father’s wife, who whispered something in her ear, something nobody else should hear. After hearing those words, a part of her felt much better about him not being there to say farewell to her. She had at least expected a peck in her cheek, since it was obvious she wasn’t going to receive a full kiss in her lips ever again. That night in the basement had been the last time.

&
nbsp; “He gave me this for you.” She pushed a note inside her pocket. “Read it when you are alone.”

  She pulled apart from Corina, frowning. She seemed to be aware of whatever was going on between them. At least it sounded like she had her suspicions.

  Then, she grabbed her suitcase, left the house, and entered her father’s car. Alicia was already sitting shotgun. She claimed she got motion sickness if she sat in the backseat, so she always sat at the front. Elsa didn’t mind that and, to be honest, she felt grateful for that at that moment, since she would be able to stare blankly out of the window without her father asking her why she was so quiet.

  The trip from the house to the airport lasted almost an hour. During all that time, she couldn’t avoid thinking about what Corina had put in her pocket. She felt tempted to take it out and read it, but she couldn’t do that while Alicia was watching her like a hawk.

  “Elsa, are you okay?” Her father’s voice took her out of her reveries.

  “Oh, yeah, right, I’m fine. I’m great.”

  He would have believed her if she hadn’t said it half-heartedly.

  “Honey, you are terrible at pretending,” Leonard said. “Come on, tell me what’s going on. Is it because Stefan didn’t say goodbye to you?”

  Replying to that would be too revealing and she couldn’t do that. She shook her head firmly and Alicia didn’t believe her—she knew her too well and would use their trip to interrogate her. Besides, the fact that her uncle had gone early in the morning to say goodbye to her but didn’t do the same to Elsa was strange.

  They arrived to the airport and her father helped them with the luggage. He wanted to go with them through the check-in process, but they obviously said no. Supposedly, he had given them his permission and trust for this trip. Why not start from the very beginning?