Contents
1. Mahogany Brooks
2. Jashae Johnson
3. Toddrick “Miami” King
4. Giovonni “Trip” Young
5. Jabari Brooks
6. Krystal Woods
7. Jashae Johnson
8. Mahogany Brooks
9. Toddrick ‘Miami’ King
10. Giovonni “Trip” Young
11. Mahogany Brooks
12. Jashae Johnson
13. Toddrick “Miami” King
Epilogue
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Mahogany Brooks
As a human, but more so as a woman, I like to live with the idea that every move I make, every decision that I come up with, every thought that I process has always been planned. I wasn’t the type of person who liked to surprise myself, so no matter what, I always moved with some type of agenda. I swear I had my labor story planned out from the moment that Jabari and I made up in our minds that we were going to keep our child.
I predicted that I would go just a couple of days over my due date, and you couldn’t tell me that my water wasn’t going to break in the wee hours of the morning like you see all the time on dramatized movies or shows. Shaking my husband, telling him that it was time, was in my vision. And because I knew the type of man I married, I knew that he would jump up without asking any questions, and before even worrying about himself, he would do everything in his power to make sure that our baby girl and I were okay.
I could see us scurrying around the house, making sure that we had the diaper bag with all the essentials that the baby would need, and making sure that my bag was packed as well. Then I would waddle out of the house, groaning in pain, as I tried to make it to the car, so that we could get to the hospital in time for me to receive the epidural. I already had it my mind that I was getting medications to push out this baby.
Growing up, I spent a lot of my time with Jashae and her grandmother. That lady was such an old soul. She would say things to me and Shae like, “God definitely has a sense of humor to have put the two of you together.” I remember her saying that to us all the damn time. I used to question that saying for years, but lying here in this hospital bed, with this IV hooked up in my arm, and watching the nurses work on my baby girl, you could not tell me that God didn’t have a sense of humor.
My plan for my labor story had gone completely left. Literally, nothing that I thought would happen had occurred. I mean, I gave birth to a baby who was six pounds and two ounces, like I had the proper credentials to do so. All I remember about that moment was feeling a whole bunch of pressure. I swear it started out with just Braxton Hicks, and because I had been getting them for the past few weeks, I didn’t make the situation a big deal. It wasn’t until the pain intensified, and I was no longer able to lie down through them that I took things seriously.
I laughed inwardly because Jabari just didn’t believe that I was about to have our baby. As if I told him something minor like I had a headache or something along those lines, he tried to shake it off and tell me to take my ass back to sleep. Then, all of a sudden, it felt like I was peeing on myself, and I knew that my water had broke. Crazy because out of all the things that could have registered in my mind at the time, I felt like taking a shower was the most important thing in the world to be doing. We’d just had sex, and I knew that the doctor and the nurses would be all up inside my vagina, so I wanted to at least wipe between my legs.
We were obviously on my daughter’s time, and sis had a mind of her own. She let it be known right then and there that she didn’t want to be born in a hospital and would rather me push her out in the comfort of our home. More laughs fell from my mouth as I remembered Jabari telling me to keep her in when I told him that I felt the need to push. Listen, had I tried to stop pushing, that baby would have come either while we were heading down the stairs or in the car on the way to the hospital.
I will never let Jabari live this day down. Never! This man talked so much shit about holding my legs while I was in labor. He said how he wanted to do his daddy duties and cut the umbilical cord, and let’s not forget how he even told me that when I’m in labor, he didn’t want anyone else in the room besides the nurses and us because he wanted us to be able to have our special moment. Where the hell was that same energy in our bathroom?
My husband, my king, my Billy Badass, my tatted up, hard body man who I loved with every fiber inside of me had missed out on the birth of our daughter because a little blood, screaming, pushing, and crying had caused him to pass out. When God was giving out strength, I swear he gave women damn near ten times more than he gave to men. Not only did I push my first child out by my lonesome, but it was me who had to call the ambulance over to the house, so they could come to the house and escort us to the hospital. Mind you, I did all of this, while under a great amount of fear and even in a panic.
This was my first child, and I didn’t know much about what the hell I should have been doing. All I knew was that she was beautiful and that she had a set of lungs on her. Literally, the most beautiful thing that I’d ever laid eyes on. I just remember being in that tub, throwing my head back in what felt like almost defeat, and having her lying on my chest as she cried her little heart out. Like I was a baby myself, for the first five minutes or so. I cried right along with her because I finally got the chance to participate in a moment that I used to swear up and down that I didn’t want.
Y’all heard me say it before that kids weren’t something that I craved to have. I used to hear mothers around me go on and on about the love they had for their children, and at the time, I could only imagine what a love like that would even feel like. Now that I had my daughter, I can tell you that it was definitely love at first sight. It was pure, it was beautiful, and so fuckin’ genuine. I can honestly say that the instant bond I grew with my daughter had put a lot of things in perspective for me. The biggest one being the relationship that I had with my mother or the lack thereof.
After the ambulance showed up to the house to get the baby and me and to also get Jabari up, who had slept through the entire fuckin’ thing, we were all rushed to the hospital. Maybe after an hour or so of being at the hospital, I found strength, and that strength allowed me to dial my mother’s number. When she answered, and I heard her voice, I broke down, and she broke down right on the phone with me. I let her know that I’d given birth to my daughter, her granddaughter, and she made a promise to me over the phone that she would be here and here she was.
My mother was standing over the nurses as they worked on my baby like she was security, making sure that they didn’t harm my child. Jabari was standing right next to her. Although he missed out on the birth, I swear it didn’t take away from the love, the awe, nor the joy that was in his eyes as he stared at what we went half on creating. His eyes were bloodshot red from the tears of joy that both he and I hadn’t stopped shedding. We weren’t supposed to witness this moment so soon. We had another month to go. So, not only did God have a sense of humor, but I swear he was always looking out for my loved ones and me, even during those times when we didn’t even deserve it. Although my daughter was early, she was just as strong and as healthy as she could be.
“How you feeling, baby?” Jabari asked as he walked over to the bed and picked up my hand to kiss the back of it.
I didn’t know why I felt so mushy, but looking at him, I could just feel myself falling more in love with him. Maybe it was the way he broke down crying when he saw that our daughter was here. It could have been the way he kept thanking me for bringing our baby girl into the world. In the beginning, I fea
red the type of parent that Jabari would be. We all know that this man could be the biggest asshole there was, and in the beginning, I just didn’t feel that he was ready, but he proved me wrong. Yeah, he passed out while I brought her here, but since his eyes had opened, he’d been here, and he’d been so attentive.
“I’m fine. Tired, but I’m fine,” I revealed, telling him the honest truth.
It was going on five in the morning, and the only sleep that I’d gotten was the little bit of sleep that I did get before Jabari came home and woke me up for sex. The same sex that led to our daughter coming so early. I just remember telling myself in the middle of him stroking me, that I didn’t think he was supposed to be in me so deep while I was pregnant, but of course, I wasn’t going to say anything because it felt so good.
Before Jabari responded, he lowered his head, just so he could kiss my forehead a couple of times, my nose, and he even placed a couple of kisses on my lips. His face stayed in front of mine, and although we weren’t kissing anymore, his lips were still just as close for him to kiss me again if he wanted to.
“I texted Miami and let him know that you had the baby. He and Shae are on the way. I know you mad with her, bae, but on some real shit, we both know that she deserves to be here. Y’all are fuckin’ sisters with way too much fuckin’ pride if you ask me. I know you, shorty; therefore, I know your heart. You wouldn’t want her to miss this moment more than anything in the world, so I did for you what your pride was too big to do,” he said.
At the same time, there was a knock on the door. He didn’t even give me a chance to tell whoever it was on the other side to come in before he was doing the honors. I turned my head in the direction of the door, and there were so many balloons and flowers that it took a moment for me to actually see who it was. Stepping in first was Miami, looking handsome as always. He was dressed up, making me think that he’d never really changed out of the clothes that he had on earlier when he and Jabari had gone out and didn’t get in until this morning sometime.
Miami was handsome; everyone with a pair of eyes could see that, but even with that, I could also see the stress that was written all over his face. He wore a burnt orange Givenchy shirt with a pair of washed gray jeans that sagged a little bit, making the black Hermes belt that he wore obvious. On his feet were some gray and orange Yeezy’s and he wore light jewelry, like the small Cuban chain around his neck with a custom nameplate that said Miami, and a matching Cuban bracelet was on his wrist. The smell of his cologne filled up the room, and I watched as he held the door open by pressing his back against it since he had flowers and balloons in his hands.
After a few more seconds, a piece of my heart, my girl, my rider, my homie, my best friend, and my sister came in with eyes that were just as red as my husband’s had come into the room. Like we hadn’t seen each other in years, she rushed over to me, and we hugged each other, both crying like two bitches as we did it.
“Crazy ass bitches,” I heard my husband mumble.
I was too stuck in this moment with Shae to even pay his ass any attention. We held each other, and we cried for so long. Both of our pride had caused us to miss out on so much. I kept pondering what if Jabari had never texted Miami? Would I have been texted Shae and told her that I’d given birth? That was a question that I didn’t have the answers to right now, but what I could say is that I was so fuckin’ happy that she was there.
“Look at you. You’re a mommy now. I’m so happy, Mahogany,” Jashae said, pulling away from the hug and using the back of her hands to wipe away the tears that had fallen from her face.
Jashae was so fuckin’ beautiful; everybody knew that. I swear, as kids, I would be just a little bit intimidated by her because she was the type of beautiful that was damn near unreal. Her rich, chocolate skin, long, beautiful hair, and perfect white teeth were all just a few of the things that made her beautiful. Just like Miami, though, I saw the stress on my best friend. Her light brown eyes weren’t as bright today. There was a sadness to her, then I remembered Jabari telling me that she and Miami were beefing, and I was sure that had to do with the stress on them both.
“I’m happy too. Are you okay?” I asked, and she shrugged it off like her feelings weren’t any big thing, and it didn’t matter.
“It’s not about me right now. It’s about you and that little beauty over there,” she said, forcing herself to put a smile on her face.
She sat on the edge of the bed with me for about another two minutes or so, and then the nurse walked over to me with my baby and put her on my chest.
Shae stood up. “Oh, my Goddddd. She’s so beautiful. Look at all that hair. Baby, look,” Shae cooed as she stared down at Jamaria Princess Brooks. That was the name that Jabari and I had agreed on.
Miami walked over and stood right next to Shae. Just like everyone else, I could feel the love in his eyes. My daughter had quickly given everyone in this room the same effect. We did skin to skin for almost thirty minutes, and then the nurses wanted Jabari to do the same thing as well. He removed his shirt, and one of the nurses picked up Jamaria and carried her over to Jabari. She was so tiny, but she looked extra tiny lying on her daddy. I swear my cheeks began to hurt as I soaked in that moment. It was so beautiful to actually witness that.
“Are you going to try to nurse?” Shae asked, breaking me out of the gaze that I had on them.
“Yes, I’m going to try,” I let her know, and she nodded her head.
The next day. 11:36 P.M.
“Wahhhhh… Wahhhh… Wahhhh…” Jamaria was screaming to the top of her lungs.
The first two hours of her life, I swear she didn’t cry much. Like most babies, of course, she cried after her arrival, but soon after that, she was so calm that I almost wanted her to cry, just so I could hear her make some type of noise. I swear you have to be careful what you ask for because she’s been doing this crying thing like every thirty minutes, it seemed. It was driving me crazy because I was so fuckin’ tired, but I wouldn’t dare say it because I felt like it was way too early in the game for me to be complaining.
Jabari would take her and rock her, but that wasn’t enough to get her to calm down. I would do the same, but nothing. I don’t know if I just became defeated or if it was all just caused by my lack of sleep, but here I was, holding her in my arms, crying as well, as I tried to calm her down. The nurses had been trying to take her, telling me that they had someone who would watch her while I caught up on some sleep, but I wouldn’t dare let her out of my sight, no matter how tired I was.
Everyone had come over again to see Jamaria. This time, Shae’s grandmother had come, and they brought Maya. That was earlier in the day, though. It was almost midnight, and everyone had gone home. I was emotional for a few reasons. I had my mind set on breastfeeding, and although I knew that it wouldn’t be easy, I didn’t expect it to be this hard and painful either. Shae was pro-breastfeeding, and so was her grandmother and the older, black nurse that I had.
Earlier today, a lactation nurse had come out to assist me in breastfeeding, and I cried the whole time. I was in pain; having my daughter attempt to latch on to my nipples had brought me a pain that I felt was becoming too hard to endure. Every time I felt like quitting, thoughts of how breastfeeding was the way to go kept popping up in my head, and that would be enough to make me keep pushing.
“She gets that emotional shit from you. You cried damn near the whole fuckin’ pregnancy,” Jabari voiced, trying to break the ice and be funny, but I didn’t laugh.
He came over, took Jamaria from my arms, and held her. Two minutes into him holding her, she’d calmed down. Her little head rested perfectly on his chest as he slowly walked with her like he had been doing this his entire life. Seeing that I couldn’t be the one to calm my daughter down had caused a flood of emotions. I didn’t want there to be two crybabies in the room but seeing how Jabari had easily made her stop crying had me temporarily switching places with Jamari as I cried too.
“Really, Mahogany?” J
abari asked, seeing that I was in bed crying my eyes out.
I knew I had to have been annoying to him and every nurse and doctor who had been in my room that day. Yesterday was such a happy day. We welcomed our daughter, and we both got to live in the moment of being first-time parents, but day two was such a struggle for me. I wasn’t mastering breastfeeding, and I felt like I wasn’t mastering motherhood either. I watched my mom, Jashae, even Jashae’s grandmother, all come into my hospital room today and hold my baby, and Jamaria didn’t shed a tear. She even gave a lazy smile to my mom. When I held her, I felt like that’s when she did the most crying, and I just didn’t know how to handle it.
“I’m sorry. It’s… it’s justtt… I don’t think… I’m… I’m doing a good job,” I stuttered, scrambling over my words as I tried to get it all out.
I was so emotional that I could hardly speak. I knew I was working Jabari’s nerves, and I could tell by the way he released a sigh and then walked over to the bed to stand on the other side of me.
“She’s a baby, Mahogany. All babies are going to cry. That don’t have shit to do with you not being a good mom. You’re doing a perfect job in my eyes!” He said it harshly, but he was whispering because Jamaria was falling asleep.
“No, I’m not! All she does is cry when I hold her,” I screamed, making our baby jump and start crying again.
Jabari sucked his teeth while he gave me a look that screamed his aggravation with me.
“That’s because that’s all you fuckin’ do when you hold her! Go to sleep, shorty. I got her,” he said, and then he walked away.
Jabari continued to pace the room with Jamaria in his arms, and like the last time, she calmed down. I was so jealous. I wanted to be the one holding her and getting her to stop crying.
Down With the King of the South 4 Page 1
