“She also said I’m not being fair to you.” Freya looked down at the bed. She had been so angry that she’d felt little guilt about Colin till now. She knew he had gone through hell at work every day, that he was bullied and harassed about their relationship at every opportunity. She also knew it would only get worse now, after what he had just shouted in the doorway.
“What a great plan, huh? I just come home and take you while you are covered in snot and tears. Some great remedy that would be. You’d only end up hating me even more. Gee, that’d be sooo much better than what’s happening now.” He looked angry as he said it, not just sarcastic. “Really, that wouldn’t be fair to either of us, and I won’t stand for it, but I won’t let you take the fall for it either.”
Freya began to openly weep. She was embarrassed to cry so in front of him, so she rolled over to face the wall.
“Please stop, Freya,” he said in a gentle voice. “I’m not gonna let them punish you for this. Honestly, up until those geniuses butted into our business today, I thought things were coming along okay between us.” He paused and let out a deep breath. “I do want to ask one thing of you though.”
“Wh-What?” she asked between sniffles.
“Can you give me one compromise? Can I at least…touch you?”
That was not at all what Freya expected. It certainly didn’t sound appealing, but it was better than the alternatives. She nodded again in consent, still completely tense, and wondered where he would put his grotesque hands first. This compromise was an improvement from her previous situation, but she still didn’t care for the idea of any intimacy between them.
Colin slid closer to her on the bed, crossing the invisible line, molding his masculine form around her daintier feminine one. He draped his arm across her and pulled her tighter against him. He then found her hand with his own and interlocked his fingers with hers.
After a few moments, her body began to relax.
As her muscles let go, Colin pulled her even closer. “That’s not so bad, is it?”
“No,” she answered after a long pause.
“We’re gonna be just fine, Freya. You’ll see.”
Freya couldn’t see how things would be fine, but she was grateful at the moment. She was sure the psychologist was right about Colin soon losing patience, but that was a problem for another day.
Chapter 8
Freya awoke the next morning to the blaring of the alarm. Freya was surprised about two things: First, she had slept through the entire night with Colin wrapped around her; and second, the lights had been turned off in the apartment. Colin’s body was still intertwined with hers. She slowly tried to detangle herself from him, wanting to get into the shower first, without waking him. She twisted, rolled, and finally found herself in a crouched position on the floor. Colin just lay there, with his arm spread out over the warm spot where she’d slept.
Freya let out a gasp as she stood; the overworked muscles in her legs seized into cramps, making it painful to move, but she managed to grab her clothing and head toward the shower, walking more on her toes than full foot, since she was unable to extend her legs all the way. She decided she would have to work on stretches that night.
The water felt nice raining down on her, but it did little to calm her down. She was anxious about the day ahead of her. Colin was convinced his little stunt for the camera had saved her from the State, but she wasn’t so sure. Whatever was going to happen to her, she wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. She dressed and braided her hair while it was still sopping wet. The second alarm had not yet gone off, and she didn’t want to spend more time than she had to with Colin that morning. She accepted her fate, but she still needed time to sort through the emotions involved, to wrap her head around it.
Just as Freya finished in the bathroom, the second alarm went off, and Colin was standing right outside the door when she tried to exit. “Morning, sunshine,” he said, then reached out his arms and pulled her against him.
Reflexively, she flung her hands out in front of her. She quickly softened though, not because she wanted to embrace him but because she knew she simply should not fight it. It was her duty after all, to be loving to her coupled one, even if she didn’t feel that way. Her hands ended up on his chest, keeping a small gap of space between them.
Colin didn’t try to force the issue or get angry. Instead, he just kissed her forehead, held her for a moment, then let her go. “You all done in here?”
She simply nodded, then walked into the kitchen. She wanted to quickly grab a breakfast bar and head out the door.
As if reading her mind, Colin called out, “Hey, don’t leave without me. I’ll hurry, ‘kay?”
“Fine,” she said, then went into the bedroom and began doing some stretches to try to loosen up her tense muscles.
As promised, Colin quickly readied himself for the day. To her surprise, he walked into the bedroom in nothing but his undershorts. She wasn’t quite sure where to look, so she just stared awkwardly at the wall as he got dressed, grateful he wasn’t entirely nude.
“You have to walk with me today and hold my hand. Do you understand?” He stopped to look at her. “The State will be keeping close tabs on our video footage,” he warned. “We need them to see a young couple in love, happy to walk together. Got it?”
Freya nodded. Of course, she didn’t love the plan but definitely agreed it was in both their best interests. It would look good for them to be seen walking together, enjoying each other’s company. Her stomach gave another turn, due to anxiety, and for the first time, she regretted having eaten a breakfast bar. “How long do you think they’ll watch us?”
Colin let out a heavy sigh. “Till they’re convinced that we’re happy and you are grateful to the State for putting us together,” he said in a rather serious tone. “I know you don’t feel so lucky to have me, Freya, but you have to pretend you do. It’s time for you to show that poster child attitude. Lie, if you have to.”
Freya heard Colin’s worry in his voice; he was concerned about the State and concerned about her. She felt bad for dragging him into it, but at the same time, he’d been given an opportunity to get out, an opportunity that was never granted to her. They headed out the door, and the second after they palmed the elevator, Colin grabbed Freya’s hand. This time, she let him keep it.
Freya was unable to walk quickly, due to the stiffness in her tired legs. Colin slowed his pace to match hers, and whenever they came to a scanner, he wrapped his arm around her waist with their fingers still entwined. Freya didn’t flinch or pull away, and she hoped her flirtations looked believable. She tried to relax her body, to make the affection look more natural, but none of it was the least bit natural for her, not to mention that her body was in no state to move gracefully after the workout she’d put it through.
When they reached the area where they had to part company, Colin stepped in front of her and finally let go of her hand. He slipped both his hands around to her lower back and kissed her gently on her forehead. It was such an intimate embrace, all in perfect view of the cameras. He slowly let go of her, wished her a good day, and went on his merry way.
Freya turned around quickly and palmed into the building, glad to see she still had access, which she took as a good sign. Inside, she headed straight to the docking station to retrieve her work tablet. She held her breath for a moment as she waited for it to light up. When it did, she let out a deep sigh of relief and proceeded to see what was on her agenda for the day.
Her first task was to check on the two plants in Victor’s office. Her schedule always worked around his, so they were never in the same room at the same time. That was intentional, so she wouldn’t overhear any confidential information. The only time she ever saw the head of State was from a distance or when he joined them for their afternoon meals. For this reason, it came as a great surprise to her when she walked into his office and found him sitting at his desk. She stood in the doorway, just looking at him in bafflement,
unsure whether to continue with her duties or just walk away and come back later.
Victor looked up at her and smiled pleasantly. “Why, hello, Freya. Come on in.”
“Hello, Victor. I don’t want to disturb you, and I can come back another time if you like.” She had gotten used to addressing him by his name, even though she thought she never would, but now, it somehow felt invasive, as if she was overstepping some kind of boundary. Other than when they first met, she’d never really been alone with him, and he was obviously working.
“You have a clearly outlined schedule that I have access to, Freya. If your presence here would be a disturbance to me, I could have chosen to work somewhere else this morning, or I could have overridden your schedule and changed it myself,” he said, still looking at her.
Freya bowed her head slightly, then walked directly over to the plants and began to perform the necessary maintenance.
Victor continued to work on his tablet, as if she wasn’t there.
She quickly finished her work and turned to leave the room.
“Freya, please take a seat for a moment. I’d like to talk to you.”
Freya turned around and looked at him in surprise, but he just smiled and gestured toward the seat across from him. She sucked in air and held her breath. Is this it? Is this the end for me? she wondered. Is Victor going to let me go due to noncompliance? She sat down nervously, unable to meet his gaze. She took the tablet off her hand and set it on his desk, her hands trembling all the while.
Victor also took off his tablet and looked her square in the eye. “My dear, I want to talk to you about your meeting with the psychologist yesterday.”
Her jaw tightened even more, and she blinked rapidly to make sure her eyes were not filling with tears.
“There are quite a few things about my civil duty that most people do not know. When there are big decisions to be made, those that effect our society as a whole, I am given a lot of information to sort through before making them. I try to decide what is best for everyone, what supports the greater good. Do you understand?”
Freya didn’t understand at all, and she had no idea what his workload had to do with her meeting with the doctor or her intimate relations with her partner. If he was going to cut her throat, she wanted him to do it quickly, rather than dawdling around and letting her bleed to death slowly. Nevertheless, she nodded in agreement, still not looking directly at him.
He seemed to be content with her nod and carried on. “I am fully aware, as is our team of very competent psychologists, that what works for the masses does not always suit every individual. We try our best to find the right combination, but this can be very challenging, as there are always, always exceptions to the rule. We have found that coupling is better for most people than living independently.”
Freya tensed up even more. This is it. It’s happening, and there’s nothing I can do about it, she thought, wanting to run out of the room but knowing that would only make it worse.
“The statistical data we have collected shows us we have made the right decision on this matter. Herein lies the flaw though. Our society was founded on the principle of everyone acting for the greater good. This means we must employ clearly outlined rules and regulations, and these must be suited to the needs of the majority.” He paused and looked at Freya, awaiting a response.
“So you’re saying that even though I didn’t want to be coupled, you have to couple everyone, because everyone must be treated equally. We all have to live by similar guidelines.”
“Correct, Freya. It is my job to make the decisions to put such practices into action, to make these the expectation. That part of my job is pretty obvious. The part that is less obvious is I can’t personally oversee every little detail of every case, nor can I see how these guidelines and regulations are enforced. I put laws in place, and there are contingencies and consequences for when they are broken, but I don’t personally oversee the process. I am often unaware of how things are dealt with and who is affected. The point I am trying to make is that while I do set the laws, I cannot always see how they affect people’s day-to-day lives. If you were not working inside my home, I never would have known about you being called in for that meeting yesterday. Everyone here is closely watched, and reports are sent to my head of Security, and to me.”
Freya nodded again, then looked out the window, wanting to feast her eyes on that view while she still had access to it; she was sure it would not be long before the State ripped that away from her too.
“In spite of the laws for the masses, I’ll be damned before I’m going to let anyone remove a worker from my home over such a trivial matter.”
Freya finally found the courage to look at him, though she couldn’t quite believe what her ears had heard him say. She exhaled from deep within her lungs, air she did not realize she’d been holding in. Her entire body relaxed, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.
“On your first day here, Amaia shared with us that it took her and her partner a little while to get to know one another. I can see from the reports that you have not been hostile or openly refused the match. I don’t have the power to change the laws for one individual, but I don’t think you have asked for that, have you?”
“No, sir.”
“Freya, while it is no secret that you are not happy about your coupling, I don’t consider your behavior to be noncompliant. This house is something I do have control over, and I will not allow you to be removed from it. I do hope that in time, you will come to enjoy being coupled with Colin, but I am confident that even if you don’t, you will still behave in a compliant manner, because you have a good understanding of what is necessary and best for the common good.”
Freya tried hard to overcome her emotion. She wiped the tears away and did her best to regain control of her breathing. “Thank you, Victor. I truly value my role here, and I would never do anything to jeopardize it.” She understood he was both showing favoritism for her and also letting her know that he could not help her escape her coupling. She was grateful for the privacy he allowed her in her personal life, especially since he knew so much about her. It was a great relief to know that as long as she didn’t out-rightly dispute the State, Victor would stand up for her and would not let them order her out of the State House that had become something of a home to her.
“Hey, what did I tell you? We are family here, and you’re not going anywhere, missy.”
“I hope your real family does not hear you say that and get jealous,” Freya said jokingly, but a split second after she said the words, she knew they were wrong somehow.
Victor still smiled politely at her, but his smile did not meet his eyes. “Both of my parents have passed on, and I was an only child. That is probably why I hold everyone in this house so dear. You are the closest thing I have to family now.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Victor—I didn’t know.” She knew she should not press her luck further, but curiosity was eating at her, and he did say they were family. “I apologize if it is not my place to ask, but why were you not coupled or chosen to have children?”
Victor smiled and nodded, letting her know that the question was entirely acceptable. “Candidates for the head of State are chosen very young, Freya. Those candidates are never coupled or chosen for reproduction, because the life purpose of the head of State is to serve the people, and partners or children would be…distractions.” He glanced at his tablet when it lit up with a message. “Now, speaking of distractions, I’m afraid our time has come to an end. I always greatly enjoy speaking with you, but I must return to my work and you to yours.”
Freya bowed her head respectfully, then left the room quickly.
Victor did not join everyone for their afternoon meal, and Freya felt bad about that, assuming their little chat had put him behind schedule. She understood why he was not coupled, because his work really was his life. She thought that a little sad, because Victor seemed like the type of person who would enjoy the company of a p
artner and bask in the joys of being a father. A heaviness filled her chest. If only we could change places somehow, she thought. I’d be happy to give my coupling away, as long as I could keep my job. It was a bit of a new feeling for Freya, less about her upset over being coupled and more about feeling sympathetic for someone who was missing out on the life they truly wanted. In many ways, it reminded her of poor Gita. She could not believe that even the head of State would have chosen differently for himself if he could, but not even he had the power to change that.
***
After Freya finished her work, she had to undertake physical activity. The muscle tension throughout her entire body had been bothering her all day, but the only way to work through it was to keep moving. She went to work out and again skipped referring to the monitor, knowing that a long, slow walk would really help to loosen her up before she stretched. The monitor on her shirt kept telling her to speed up and increase her heart rate, but she continued to ignore it and just walked at a leisurely pace that felt comfortable to her. She did follow the monitor when it came to stretches. Her body did not seem as limber as usual, but it was definitely helpful.
The State Series Box Set Page 14
