The State Series Box Set

by M. J. Kaestli

  “What kind of time? What do you mean?” It surprised Freya that he was not talking in code; that was what had happened the last time Ursa introduced her to someone in the common room. The realization sunk in just then; he was going to say everything right out in the open. He was there to give himself over to the State for her benefit; this was going to be done publicly. There was no concern over the cameras or others hearing—it would only validate the information being passed along.

  “The way we live our lives, this society we have, it goes against our very human nature,” he said. “The State was necessary at a time, but that time is coming to an end. Once the colony world opens up, we will no longer need that kind of ruling. Just as great kings of the past outlived their usefulness, the State’s time is also nearing its end.”

  “I realize that the rations and population control will not be needed, but how do you think it is possible to have new leaders? I do think that the State will change their ways when we have more resources.”

  “You are putting a lot of faith in the State to believe that they will change the laws when the colony world opens up. They have become intoxicated with power, and that will be difficult for them to surrender,” Pollux replied. “We need to ready ourselves. We can’t sit idly by and place all of our hope in a government that is unjust.”

  “What do you think we can do about it?” Freya really had no idea what the plan was, or how she was performing; she was just making things up as she went along.

  “We need to undo the brainwashing the State has bestowed upon us. We need to become a people who are thinking rationally instead of reacting to fear. If there are enough of us who are willing to stand up against the State, that is when change will be possible,” he said. “Our society needs to shift back into a democratic State. One where individuals have rights.”

  “How do you plan to make that happen?” Freya asked. She, of course, knew this was not their true plan, but it was actually one she might be able to stand behind.

  “By changing the collective mindset, one person at a time,” Pollux replied. “It is not yet time for us to shift into a new era, but it is time for us to prepare for that shift. The more people we can reach with our message, the harder it will be for the State to remain in power when the colony world opens up.”

  “So, you are just going to go around telling people we need a new government in twenty-plus years, and you think that will be enough?”

  “I alone cannot change the group consciousness. That is why I am here with you now, Freya. If I can help you to understand that there could be a better way, then you yourself can help to spread our message. You can help to bring people into the new mindset, and those you bring will help others.”

  “That’s it? Just share the message? Do you think that will be enough to overthrow an empire?”

  “We have enough blood on our hands from the past. If we truly want to move into a new era, it should not be taken by force. It should happen from an awakening, a collective intelligence, a realization of a better way.”

  Freya leaned back. This guy was good. He almost had her convinced. I know that this is a fake plan, but does it have to be? Ursa had said there was over twenty years ahead of them, that perhaps Freya could lead people to a moderate way of life.

  “Well, you have certainly given me much to think about,” Freya said. “I hope you are right. I hope we can become something new without any further bloodshed.”

  “Then tonight is a time to celebrate. I have been successful in awakening another mind. Now you will become a messenger, to assist in shifting others’ consciousness.” He grabbed Freya’s hand across the table. “I must go now. It really was a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Likewise,” Freya replied, looking him directly in the eye. There was no tension or fear in him. He had come here for one reason alone: to let the State take him so that Freya might rise in power. Yes, he was a little up there in years; perhaps he was not afraid of death simply because he knew he didn’t have much time left. Or maybe it was that he truly believed so strongly in change being necessary.

  He took her hand, looking her in the eyes for a moment, gave a soft smile and left.

  Ursa started to pack up and indicated that she was ready for bed. Freya thought that once the bedroom door was closed, she would break into a rapid fire of words, which she didn’t. Ursa simply lay down in bed and nestled in. Too many thoughts swam around in Freya’s mind, so she simply lay down beside her.

  After some time had passed, Freya finally spoke. “He didn’t seem scared or anything.”

  “No, he’s not scared,” Ursa replied.

  “But he met with me simply so I can hand him over to the State. Tonight he walked into his death sentence. You would think he would at least be a little jittery.”

  “He has nothing left to live for. He had no children; his partner is dead; he is also no longer a young man. Death is inevitable. Pollux would rather have his death mean something than to hold on for a few more empty years.”

  “Is everyone I am to hand over like him?”

  “No. There are others who are younger, who have partners and families. He volunteered to go first because of his situation. We don’t know how many names we need to hand over to position you. If one is enough, then there is no purpose to giving the others with more to lose,” Ursa said. “They are all ready to die for this cause, but we can’t just hand over people who are old and ready to die. It would look a little too suspicious, if that were the case.”

  “Well, let’s just hope then that one is enough,” Freya replied.

  “Let’s hope, but you can’t ever let that cloud your judgment. You need to keep focused on the end result, no matter what names you have to pass over. Even if it’s mine.”

  Freya wanted to protest, to yell at Ursa. She could not lose her, but she knew Ursa would not listen.

  “You need to understand, Freya. I am much like Pollux. It is only a matter of time before they take you from me. You are all I have left. Once you are gone, I would rather my death mean something than to rot here alone.” Ursa wrapped her arms around Freya. “I love you, my darling. I have cherished our time together, but you need to accept that this could be the end for us. Once you hand Pollux over, your mission could be over, and you will be lost to me. You need to stop concerning yourself with how you will save me. If they take me, remember that I died well, standing up for what I believe in.” She kissed Freya on the forehead.

  Freya began to weep silently. There was nothing to say, no pleading that would have any effect. Ursa was right; there was no way she could hand over Pollux without implicating Ursa. If she didn’t hand over Pollux, it was her own life that would be put into jeopardy.

  There had to be a witness of the conversation tonight. Whether that be Security, or someone loyal to the State listening in the common room. If Freya didn’t immediately tell Lewis, she herself would be implicated, and then it would be all three of them who lost their lives. Although she didn’t believe the rebellion was putting their faith in the right person, she was still the person they had chosen. If she went down with Ursa and Pollux, who would they have? They believed in her so strongly, there was a list of volunteers who were ready to die for what they believed she could do. She had to at least try. It could all go terribly wrong; she could herself be one of the people killed in the rebellion, but that thought brought another: she was no different than Ursa and Pollux.

  If she lost Ursa, what did she have left in her life? Colin was gone, and she knew she would never love again. There was a short time where she thought she could be happy living with Lewis, but she now knew that wasn’t possible either—she could not return to the life she had before. If they had just left her working in the State house, she could have found happiness there, even without Colin. Now that she saw Victor for what he really was, she could not return there and live out the simplicity she once lived.

  Although she didn’t agree with the rebellion, she did believe a more moderate Sta
te could become a reality. If I don’t try to become a person of power, a leader, then what do I have to live for? When I am old, would I look back at my life and feel it had any purpose if I didn’t fight for change? No, it wouldn’t—not when she had a chance but instead chose to take a safer route.

  Ursa had started to drift off to sleep, her arms still wrapped around Freya. She was not yet close to being able to sleep, but she couldn’t move. This very well could be her last night with Ursa, and she was going to do her best to cherish the time. She could not know what would happen tomorrow. Would Lewis instantly send a message and arrest both Ursa and Pollux? Or would the State’s greed want me to search for other names? As much as she couldn’t imagine losing Ursa, she was starting to realize she couldn’t maintain this life much longer. The sooner this was all over, the sooner she wouldn’t have to go home to Lewis. Leading a double life was taxing enough without having to share a bed with him.

  Chapter 18

  When the alarm sounded, Ursa grabbed Freya’s hand to keep her from getting up. “Freya, this might be it. I need you to promise me you will never forget, no matter what happens.”

  “Of course I will never forget you.” Freya’s eyes filled with tears.

  “Not me—you can’t forget why we are doing this. No matter what happens, no matter how hard it gets, you can’t ever forget why. I need you to be strong. I need to know you are going to fight. You can’t ever let anything get in the way, even if it is me. You can’t ever expose yourself, or sacrifice yourself for anyone. If you did, then our lives would have been lost in vain.”

  Freya tried to keep in control of her emotions. She had accepted now that she could not protect Ursa like she had originally planned. She accepted it, but it still cut her deeply. “I understand that. I don’t like it, but I understand it.”

  “Good. I love you, dear,” Ursa kissed her on the forehead once again, “and now it is time to act. Go back to your apartment and get ready for work. I will see you there.”

  Freya nodded, and got out of bed. She couldn’t look back at Ursa as she walked away. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to leave. With a walk of determination, she headed back to her apartment to get ready for the day. Once again, Lewis was not there. Her mind started to question where he was going when she was with Ursa, but she quickly changed her thoughts. This was a time for her to keep her focus, not let her mind wander. It would take everything she had to be able to get through this. Except that might not be true: it might take more than what she had in her.

  Now was not a time for self-doubt; too many lives were at stake, hers included. If these people were willing to die to ensure her safety, then she needed to fight to be better, to be stronger. Maybe she wasn’t the person they needed, but she had just over twenty years to become that person. She had to keep reminding herself to stay focused; this could only be done one task at a time. Right now, her task was to go to the greenhouse and pretend everything was normal; that was all she could afford think about. Clear her mind, get her emotions in check—she needed to find her centre before she talked to Lewis tonight.

  When she got to the greenhouse, Ursa hardly even looked at her, it was not just Freya who had to concentrate in order to play her part. So much of Freya wanted the day to pass quickly. She just wanted to get this over with before she could lose her nerve. Naturally, the day felt as though it dragged on forever. Ursa may have started the day off avoiding Freya, but it was now Freya avoiding her. If she even looked at her, it might be enough for her to fall apart, for her to lose her strength and determination, or the audacity to think she could fool Lewis. It was going to be hard to live without her, but that was something she simply couldn’t think about. She had made a promise to Ursa, a promise to keep her mind on the end goal, and she had to keep it.

  Once back at the apartment, she changed quickly, hoping to get a good workout in before having to speak to Lewis. As she changed, another thought came to her. Would it look suspicious if I didn’t tell Lewis the moment he walked in the door? Her heart rate sped up; panic started to course through her. She had been thinking all day how she would have her workout to calm her before they talked, but now she didn’t see that as such a good idea. With what little time she had left, she sat on the bed and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. She started to recite lists of plants and soil types. It was an old trick, but it helped. It was one of the only ways she knew of to force her mind into silence other than running.

  Lewis walked in the door, and she had just enough time to open her eyes and force herself to look happy.

  “You ready to go?” He took off his shirt.

  “That depends. Do you want to talk now, or after we exercise?” She forced her lips to curve up slightly.

  “Do you have information?”

  “Yes,” she replied, trying to hold an air of excitement.

  “After we exercise,” he said. “We need to still keep up appearances until we are extracted.”

  “Of course,” she said, and couldn’t control herself in letting out a sigh. So much of her just wanted to get this over with. She had just gotten her emotions controlled enough to feel confident, and now another stall.

  “Don’t look so disappointed.” He smiled. “I can’t do anything with the information tonight anyway. Let’s go and have a good workout, and then tell me everything.”

  Freya nodded, and got off the bed. They headed out and got right on the running track. As much as she normally loved to run, it wasn’t clearing her head like it normally did. Her nerves started to creep up on her again, and so she pushed harder. Lewis kept her pace, but when she tried to speed up again, he told her to slow down. Luckily Lewis did push her really hard in the strength training part of their workout. It could have been exhaustion, but Freya’s nerves finally settled down again. They headed back to the apartment, grabbed their meals and went inside the bedroom.

  “So what did she say?” Lewis asked as he took a bite of food.

  “It is not what she said—it is what she did,” Freya replied, and took a bite herself. “She brought me down to the common room. She had arranged a meeting with someone.”

  Lewis dropped his fork and stared at her, slack-jawed.

  “He wanted to recruit me, told me about their plans and such,” she added.

  “Are you messing with me right now?”

  “No. Why would I do that?”

  “Ursa just introduced you to someone in the rebellion, just like that,” he said.

  “Just like what? How did you expect this to happen?” Lewis looked away; she could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. A moment of panic came over her. Was this story too convenient? Would he see right through it?

  “Well, I kind of expected Ursa to tell you more before just arranging a meeting,” Lewis said. “I don’t get how she could skip from a few snide comments about the State to recruiting you for the rebellion.”

  His statement didn’t sound as if he were accusing Freya of anything, but she knew there was a fine line here. If she said one wrong thing, it was game over.

  “I did too, honestly,” she said after a pause. “I mean, she has said little things against the State here and there for a while, but nothing about the rebellion. Of course, every time she said anything negative, I always jumped in with how much I hated Victor for taking Colin away. I think maybe she just thought I was ready to hear it, or that she trusted me enough now. Maybe she asked for him to meet me a long time ago, and it just took this long to arrange it.” She shrugged.

  “So, the words rebellion never left her lips, and then bam, she introduces you to their leader?” He still sounded as if he were more thinking out loud than accusing her.

  She took a deep breath to try to remain calm. “I don’t know that he was the leader. It kind of made sense to me at the time, hearing what he had to say. I think that is just how they do it—at least, that is what he made it sound like.”

  “What did he say? How did he make it sound like this is t
he normal way they do things?”

  Freya proceeded to explain to Lewis everything Pollux had said to her—from their plan of forming a democratic State when the colony world opens, to the charge of spreading the message he had left her with. Lewis remained silent for a moment after she finished explaining. Her stomach felt as though she were about to be sick—acid rose up her throat. Was this it? Was this the end? He didn’t buy it; she could tell just looking at him.

  “There was no talk about assassinations, or attacks on the dome or anything like that?” he finally asked.

  “No,” she answered. So much of her wanted to say there must be more than one rebellion, that Ursa wasn’t a radical terrorist type, but she knew if she said a single word, it would just look as if she were trying to protect Ursa.

  “I’m surprised, and I’m not surprised often,” he said. “I wonder if we have targeted the wrong group. I hate to think our intel was bad.” Lewis got up off the bed and looked out the bedroom window.