Forever Is Not Enough

by E. L. Todd

  When I was at work, I was somewhat distracted from Arsen. But when I was home, all I did was think about him. I wondered what he was doing. I wondered if Ms. Norris continued to hit on him every day when he picked up Abby. I wondered if he was thinking about me.

  I was walking home one day and staring at the cracks in the sidewalk when I heard a familiar voice.

  “Silke?”

  I looked up and saw a face I hadn’t seen in a long time. “Pike?” He was the last person I expected to run into. His dark hair was exactly the same as it used to be. His blue eyes shined by their own light.

  “Hey.” He greeted me enthusiastically, like we were great friends who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. There didn’t seem to be any resentment on his face. “I thought that was you. It was hard to tell because you were staring at the ground so hard.”

  I released a faint chuckle. “I wasn’t really paying attention.”

  He immediately leaned in and hugged me.

  I returned the embrace awkwardly, feeling guilty for touching him.

  He pulled away and smiled. “You look great.”

  “Oh, thanks.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You do too.”

  “Thanks for the compliment.” He stared at me for a long time, like he was trying to memorize my face. “It’s really nice seeing you.”

  “Yeah, you too.” I was happy that he didn’t seem to hate me anymore. He must be over what happened between us.

  “Let’s get a cup of coffee.” He nodded toward the café that had a small patio outside. “And catch up.”

  “Uh…”

  “Do you have somewhere to be?”

  No. I had nowhere to be. I was totally alone in the world right now. “Sure.” I didn’t see the harm in it.

  “Great.” He entered the coffee shop and I trailed behind him.

  After we ordered our drinks, we took a seat in the outdoor patio. Pedestrians walked up and down the sidewalk. Their shoes thudded against the concrete. The table was small and Pike and I were close to each other.

  Pike appeared at ease with me, like this wasn’t at all awkward for him. “What’s new with you?”

  “Nothing really,” I said. “I’m still at the museum.”

  “Very cool,” he said.

  “How about you?”

  “Still painting,” he said. “And I hope I paint forever.”

  “I’m sure you will,” I said. “You’re very talented.”

  “Why, thank you.”

  “So…are you seeing anyone?” It was bound to come up eventually. It was best just to get it over with. And I hoped his answer was yes. I wanted him to be happy.

  “I am.” There was a look of excitement in his eyes.

  I smiled for the first time in almost a week. “That’s great. I’m glad to hear that.”

  “She’s pretty cool,” he said. “We met in Central Park during the farmer’s market. One thing led to another and then…we hit it off. Sometimes these things just happen.”

  “They do,” I agreed. “That’s very exciting. How long have you two been together?”

  “For a few months now. It’s recently gotten serious.”

  “Very cool,” I said. At least he was over me.

  “How’s Arsen?”

  My heart fell at the mention of his name. The longer I didn’t speak to him or see him, the more I missed him. It was weird not talking to him every day. It was hard not seeing him. “Uh…”

  Pike’s eyes narrowed on my face. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “We broke up.”

  “Oh…” His eyes fell in sadness. “I’m sorry.”

  “It ended last week.”

  “That’s really recent.” His voice became quiet, full of sympathy. “May I ask what happened?”

  I had no one to talk to about this, and Pike was obviously over me so it shouldn’t be an issue. “It’s a long story, but basically this woman hit on him and he lied about it.”

  Pike stared at me, confusion in his eyes. “Okay…”

  I told him the whole story in detail, including the situation with Abby.

  He processed my words and remained silent for a long time. He sipped his coffee and watched the pedestrians. Then he turned back to me. “Can I say something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Arsen doesn’t strike me as the cheating type.”

  “He’s not,” I said immediately. “But I couldn’t help but feel excluded…like he purposely left me in the dark. It seems like there’s more to this situation with Ms. Norris than he’s letting on, and that makes me worry.”

  He fidgeted with the handle of his coffee cup. “He was probably trying to protect you but it backfired. I doubt he would want you to know that every day when he picks up his daughter from school there’s a beautiful woman there begging him to take her on his sheets.”

  “I guess…but she made it seem like there was more to it than that…like he wants her.”

  “If she’s a conceited woman, she’s going to think everyone wants her,” he argued. “And even if Arsen did want her, that’s irrelevant. The only thing that does matter is what Arsen does. If he keeps his hands to himself then there’s nothing to be upset about.”

  “I guess…”

  “Do you trust him?”

  “I did…before he lied.”

  Pike studied my face. “You shouldn’t expect him to be perfect. We all make mistakes.”

  “I don’t expect him to be perfect. But I told him trusting him again was hard for me. He told me he wouldn’t mess this up again. That’s why it hurts so much…”

  “Even then, it’s impossible for him to never make a mistake. The guy is human, Silke. He made a bad decision and now it’s haunting him. You should give him another chance.”

  “I would if it didn’t seem like I was missing something…”

  “You really think he’s fooling around with this woman and hiding it from you?”

  “No…but maybe something happened one time and he doesn’t want to tell me.”

  Pike sipped his coffee. “And what if he did?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “If he did, would you let it go?”

  “No.” Never.

  “So, you’re ending the relationship because you think it might be possible?”

  “I guess,” I whispered.

  He released a sigh. “I don’t know Arsen that well but I find it hard to believe he would ever do that to you. You’re the perfect woman, Silke. No man is stupid enough to mess that up.”

  His flattering words moved me.

  “You should talk to him, Silke.”

  “He hasn’t called me all week.”

  “But didn’t you tell him not to call you?” he asked.

  “Well…yeah. But he usually does anyway.”

  He watched me with intelligent eyes. “Then you call him and work it out. Now that you’ve had enough time to calm down, you should be able to speak to him logically. I’m sure the guy is a complete mess right now.”

  “It doesn’t seem like he really cares that we broke up…” Wouldn’t he have called me or stopped by if he did?

  “Arsen probably doesn’t see the point in harassing you when you’ve already made your decision. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.”

  Pike was the last person I expected to get relationship advice from. “I guess I’ll talk to him.”

  “Good.” He gave me a smile before he drank his coffee again. Then he looked at the sidewalk and examined the people walking by.

  I watched his face, seeing the slight changes in his skin tone and hair length. There were subtle differences but not too many. He was just as handsome as he was before, but I didn’t feel that old attraction.

  “Uh, Silke…”

  “Yeah?” I asked, still staring at him.

  “I think that’s Arsen.” He had a timid look on his face.

  “What?” I blurted. I turned to the direction he was facing and felt my he
art sink.

  Arsen was standing in front of the patio fence that blocked off the café from the sidewalk. He wore a t-shirt and running shorts like he just got out of the gym. When I realized where we were, I recalled that his gym was nearby.

  His eyes were wide and he stared at me with a look of fury and devastation. He breathed hard like he wanted to jump over the rail then choke Pike to death. His blue eyes were as dark as black, and his hands formed fists.

  This was bad.

  I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. I wasn’t sure what I should say. There were people around us and I didn’t wan to cause a scene. I expected Arsen to but he didn’t. He continued to watch us while a flood of different emotions covered his face. Then he turned away without saying a word and walked off. His shoulders were tense like he was preparing to destroy the nearest skyscraper.

  I left my seat without saying goodbye to Pike and chased after him. “Arsen.”

  He kept walking.

  “Arsen.” I caught up to him and grabbed him by the arm.

  Quicker than I could watch, he twisted out of my grasp then faced me with a look of menace. He stared down at me like he wanted to murder me in cold blood. He didn’t say a word to me even though it looked like he was about to scream. Then he turned away again.

  “It’s not how it looks. Listen to me.” I chased after him again and grabbed him by the arm.

  Like last time, he twisted out of my hold. It looked like he wanted to push me as hard as he could but he kept it back. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” His voice came out unnaturally deep, and it rang with authority.

  Panic rose in my throat. “I just ran into him and we were getting coffee—that’s all.”

  “Why would I care?” he hissed. “You dumped me. You’re a free woman. Go fuck whoever you want to fuck.” He marched away, determined to get away from me.

  He’d never said anything like that to me before. I caught up to him but instead of grabbing him I moved in front of him and blocked his path. “We just got coffee. I swear. I didn’t call him and ask to see him. It just happened.”

  “And I’m supposed to believe that?” he asked.

  “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  His eyes narrowed on my face. “You accuse me of being a liar and a cheat. Well, you’re worse. The second you dump me you go back to your ex. How disgusting is that?”

  “That’s not what—”

  “But I shouldn’t be surprised. You did the same thing to him when you dumped him for me. You just like to hop around to different places when you get bored.”

  My eyes burned at his words.

  “Now, if you excuse me I have a date.”

  “What?” My jaw dropped. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I felt sick to my stomach. The world had ended. The idea of anyone touching Arsen but me wounded my soul.

  “Yep. I have a fuck date with Ms. Norris. If you’re fucking Pike then I should be fucking someone too.”

  My eyes watered and they bubbled over. “I’m not sleeping with Pike. I told you I just ran into him. I’m not lying.”

  “Whether you’re lying or not, it doesn’t matter. You don’t want me anymore so I’ll find someone who does. Have a good life, Silke.” He turned and walked away.

  “Arsen!”

  He moved into the crowd. He either pretended he hadn’t heard or he ignored me.

  “Arsen!” The tears fell down my cheeks.

  Arsen continued to walk out of my life—without any intention of ever coming back.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Beatrice

  My brother and I walked past all the barrels in the cellar and began to count the different types of wine before they were sent out.

  “The Sinclair has thirty.” David made the mark on his clipboard then moved onto the next type of wine.

  “Fifty for Moscato.” I made the note on my clipboard.

  “Wait, are you sure?”

  “I think I know how to count.”

  He ignored my sarcasm. “There should be at least seventy.”

  “Well, there’s only fifty.”

  He came to my side and started to count, whispering under his breath. When he reached fifty, he sighed. “You’re right.”

  “I have a degree from Harvard…”

  “Shut up, brat,” he said. “No one gives a damn about your prissy degree.”

  “I hear some resentment…”

  “Look, I didn’t go to college and you did. But look where we are, working the same job and making the same salary.”

  “But I’m smarter than you,” I said with an attitude. “And that’s all that matters.”

  He rolled his eyes dramatically.

  My brother and I teased each other on a regular basis, but we got along for the most part. We’d reconnected in the past year, and he was a friend as well as a member of my family.

  “Wow.” A guy whistled when he entered the cellar. “This place is swanky.”

  We both turned to the intruder.

  Jared walked inside with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He wore a gray t-shirt that looked nice on his chest. His denim jeans hung low on his hips. His short brown hair was neatly styled like he cared about his appearance. “That’s a lot of wine.” He looked at the line of barrels.

  David stared at him suspiciously and held his clipboard at his side. “Who the hell are you?”

  I tried not to laugh. “David, this is my friend Jared.”

  My brother’s hostility completely evaporated. “My apologies.” He extended his hand to shake Jared’s.

  “It’s okay,” Jared said as he shook it. “People tend not to like me when they first meet me.”

  “I second that,” I said.

  Jared rolled his eyes and leaned in toward my brother. “Your sister is a brat, just in case you didn’t know that already.”

  “Oh, I knew,” David said with a friendly smile.

  I approached Jared. “What are you doing here?” I never invited him or suggested he should pay me a visit.

  “I can’t stop by?” he asked in an offended voice. “I wanted to visit my friend. You’ve been to my bar a few times.”

  “Because I was invited.”

  Jared walked along the line of barrels. “It smells good in here.”

  “It smells like alcohol.”

  “And that’s the best kind of smell there is.” He came back to my side and looked down at me. “So, whatcha doing?”

  “Working,” I said. “Counting the inventory before we ship it out.”

  My brother watched us, listening to our conversation but not participating in it.

  “Can I help?” he asked.

  “Like you know how to count,” I teased.

  He extended all his fingers. “I can count to ten. That’s impressive, right?”

  I laughed. “Perhaps for a child.”

  “Well, my mom dropped me on my head when I was a kid. So, I kind of am a child.”

  “I believe that,” I said immediately.

  He shot me a glare before he playfully nudged me in the side. “Want to show me around?”

  “Sure.” I turned to my brother. “Is it okay if I take a break?”

  “Yeah, of course.” He watched Jared for a moment before he dropped his gaze.

  “Come on,” I said as I touched his arm. “I’ll show you the vineyards. They are beautiful.”

  “Sweet.”

  We headed outside then reached the rows of grapes. The plants were blooming from the ground, and stagnant rows extended all the way up the hill. The smell from the leaves came into my nose and it reminded me of my childhood.

  “This place is beautiful,” Jared said as he walked beside me. “So, what’s the difference between wine grapes and regular grapes?”

  I chuckled. “You want a botany lesson?”

  “I wouldn’t have asked if I weren’t interested.”

  I stopped when I reached a plant that had a large cluster of grapes. “First of all, if you look at the vin
e you’ll see it’s made into a T shape. This is to maximize sun exposure. Regular grapes grow all over the place.”

  He nodded his understanding.

  “Secondly, all wine grapes have a large seed in the middle. So, if you ever eat one be careful.”

  “Dully noted.”

  “And they are much sweeter than regular grapes, but that’s important for fermentation. Also, they are much smaller than the average grape but they have a thick skin. This is important to preserve flavor.”

  Jared nodded. “You sound like an expert.”

  “I know everything about wine.”

  We walked together down the row and enjoyed the sun on our skin. The fresh air was nice compared to the constant stench of the city. If Conrad hadn’t moved there, I never would have came to New York. But I admit there was a distinct beauty to it.

  “Then you’re a perfect person to have this conversation with.”

  “What conversation?” I asked.

  “I was thinking of opening a wine bar.”

  “In the city?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “That does wine tastings and stuff?”

  “No. It’ll be a bar that only serves wine. But it’ll be classy. You know, with a dimly lit room, a pianist in the corner, and with pretentiously sized appetizers that are overpriced.”

  “I didn’t realize you were considering expanding.”

  “Money has been good for a long time and I want to invest it in something. My apartment is already paid off so that’s taken care of.”

  I was impressed his bar did so well. Every time I went in there it was always packed. He sold regular liquor so I didn’t understand the fuss about it. “I think it’s a great idea. But there’s one problem.”

  “What?” he asked.

  “You don’t know anything about wine.”

  He nudged me in the side. “That’s why I have you.”

  “You want me to consulate you?”

  “I guess,” he said. “Although, that’s a fancy way of saying it.” He chuckled. “If you help me out I’ll compensate you for it. Besides, it’s a great way to get your wine in the hands of locals.”

  “Santini wine does pretty well for itself.”

  “I meant no disrespect,” he said quickly. “Or you could even be a co-owner if you want.”

  I stopped in my tracks and stare at him. “What? Seriously?”