by B. B. Hamel
She looked back over her shoulder, eyes burning with a mixture of hate and lust. “I’ve never been so close to getting killed before.”
“Good.” I grabbed her hair and thrust myself deep, bottoming out. “Get used to it.”
I fucked her fast and raw. There was nothing tender. Her skin beaded with sweat as she took my rough thrusts and bucked her hips wild, wanting more. We writhed against each other, her lips over her shoulder and against mine, and my hands slapping her ass over and over.
There was pain and pleasure in equal measure, and Winter whispered my name, begging me to keep going as her body worked harder and harder. I lost control, lost all sense of time, and there was only my Winter, only her pussy and the incredible pleasure we made together, thrusting over and over again, my fingers rubbing her clit, teasing her nipples, spanking her ass.
We came together in a gasping, rough chorus of moans. I filled her to the brim as her pussy clenched down on my shaft. It was the release we both needed, all our stress and pain flooding out in a sudden rush of orgasm.
Afterwards, I sat on the chair with her in my lap. Her bare pussy was still slick and rubbed against my cock. I was half hard again in minutes after finishing.
She smiled, nuzzled my neck. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
“When you’re a married man, are you going to change? Are you going to treat me like a captive forever, or am I going to be your wife?”
“That depends entirely on you. Do you want to be my wife? Or am I always going to wonder if you’re going to run off one day?”
“I think you’ll always wonder.” She smiled, her teeth white, pretty lips swollen and glistening. “I think I want you on edge.”
“I bet you do.” I ran my thumb down her pouty mouth. “But I’ll admit something right now, and only because I’m feeling very fond of you at the moment.”
“I hope so. You just came so deep, I think you’re still dripping out.”
I laughed softly and kissed her neck. “I’m already changing. I told you, I should be out there fighting, and if you weren’t here, I would be.”
“I never asked for any of this.”
“I know. I don’t blame you.”
She lapsed into silence. I enjoyed our closeness—the deep breaths, her smell overwhelming everything around me—but eventually she went back to her room and left me alone to ponder the course of this war and our future marriage, and whether or not she really would be an equal partner in whatever life I pictured for the two of us.
21
Winter
Three days can feel like forever, or they can slip by like a leaf in rushing water. I went to bed that night after the bridal boutique fiasco aching between my legs and smiling at the sweet memory of Darren’s thick cock deep inside of me—and wondering if fucking him was becoming too easy and too good—then found myself thrown headlong into pure and utter mania.
Charleigh went buck wild. It was scary to watch. She was a general and the manor staff were her soldiers. The kitchens worked overtime, prepping appetizers, dinners, desserts, breads, cakes, pies, all sorts of stuff I’d never seen before and wasn’t allowed to touch (Charleigh: “Wouldn’t want to gain any weight now, darling, since there’s no time to have the dress altered.” Which was just about the worst thing possible to say). A tent was erected on the lawn and chairs were brought out. Invitations were drafted, printed, and—somehow, miraculously—mailed out via special courier.
Through it all, I was hustled from one place to the next, asked my opinion, and completely ignored.
Not that I minded. I got to spend a lot of time with Penny, which was nice. We joked and laughed and teased her mother, who seemed utterly oblivious to it all. Erin hovered around the edges of everything, always on her phone, never engaging, which was fine by me.
Darren wasn’t around much. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I had my guesses, and it was likely very dangerous.
It was better if I didn’t know.
The first two days were a whirlwind. The third day was the calm before the storm.
I sat out by the pool with Penny watching an inflatable alligator drift past. “I’m surprised you guys have blow-up animals for this thing.”
Penny squinted. “You know, I don’t remember when we got that.”
“Charleigh acquired it, I’m sure. It’s a free range, vintage, antique blow-up animal.”
“Made of the finest vinyl and plastic available.”
We laughed and I almost thought I knew what it was like to have a sister—or at least I was reminded of what it was like to be with Cassie all the time.
I tried not to think about her too much. I knew she was safe with Roman. He adored her and would rather kill himself than let her get hurt. And since I made Darren swear not to touch her, I knew she was practically invincible at the moment.
But I missed the little things. Laughing with her, sitting on the couch and watching stupid movies together, chatting about podcasts and the bar and the locals, lying out on the beach and scoping out hot guys, that sort of thing. She was my other half and the closest thing I’d ever had to a soulmate.
“Thinking about your wedding?” Penny asked.
I shook my head. “No, not really.”
“You have this melancholy look on your face. But then again, you kind of always look that way.”
“Really? No way. I’m not that bad.”
“Well, it’s not really your fault. You were kidnapped, after all.”
“Oh, right. Good point.”
She laughed and raised her eyebrows. “Seriously, what were you thinking about?”
“Cassie.”
She went quiet and nodded. “It must be nice to have someone like that.”
“What do you mean? You don’t have a best friend?”
“I have friends, but it’s hard to be close to anyone in my position. I used to have Liv, but she’s gone now. Erin and I aren’t really close.”
“I can’t imagine anyone being close with Erin.”
Penny laughed and stretched. Pretty Penny. I was jealous of her legs and smooth, tan skin.
“Erin’s a good person, but she lives too much in her head.”
“Well, I hope she doesn’t hate me, since we’re about to be sisters-in-law soon.”
“That’s right.” Penny perked up. “You’re going to be my sister.”
“In-law.”
“Whatever. Sister!” She grinned big. “We can be stuck and miserable in this place together forever!”
“That’s not as appealing as you might think.”
“I guess not.” She sighed and collapsed back.
I watched the wind blow through the water. “I’m nervous for tomorrow.”
“It’ll be fine, don’t worry. It’s just the family plus a few important people.”
“Do I know any of them?”
She touched her lip. “Kaspar. I think that’s it. They’re all big, scary mafia guys.” She rolled her eyes.
“I asked Darren about you and Kaspar the other day.” I looked at my nails, trying to be nonchalant about it, and totally failing. Penny went very still, like a squirrel staring down a slobbering dog. “You two seemed to know each other.”
“We were acquaintances in college.”
“Really? Seemed like you knew him better than that.”
“Nobody knows him better than that. Kaspar’s an Oligarch.”
“And a weird one, apparently.”
Penny slapped her thighs. “I can’t wait for all that food. You’ve been in the kitchen recently, right?”
I grinned and let her go on a tangent about cake. If she didn’t want to talk about Kaspar, I wouldn’t make her—but there was clearly some history between them.
I had to admit it was nice to sit out with Penny and talk about normal things. I could almost forget that I would be an unwilling bride in a few short hours and that my life would be forever changed.
How that change would p
lay out was still in flux though.
Darren didn’t know what he wanted. As much as he pretended like he had the world figured out, he was adrift like anyone else. The man was a handsome monster and much more complicated than I ever imagined, and the things he could do with his tongue and fingers were literal magic—but when it came to me, all he could think about was domination and control.
That would only get us so far.
I liked it in the bedroom. I wanted him to hold me down and fuck me. I wanted to squirm and struggle—and finally give in.
But everywhere else? I didn’t want to be quiet and subservient.
I didn’t care that he was an Oligarch, whatever the hell that meant.
I was going to be his wife, and he needed to decide if that meant I’d be locked away forever, or if he’d try to bring me into the fold for real.
I hoped the latter, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted it.
Some part of me still yearned to get away. That part grew quieter every day until now it was only a dull, distant ache, like the memory of a better time, and that scared me more than I realized.
I was getting used to being here. I was starting to like it.
There were perks. I couldn’t deny it. Darren had money and the manor was lavish and comfortable. I liked Penny and could see myself being friends with her for a long time.
I loved it when he kissed me. I craved his lips and tongue and cock. I wanted to run my mouth along his chest and moan his name as he fucked me deeper and deeper and forced me over the edge into bliss.
I wanted to be free. And I wanted to be kept in a little cage.
This little cage.
None of it made sense, and as I sat there looking out over my life, over the manicured lawn and out to my future, I had a sudden, irresistible urge—
I wanted to see him.
I wanted to see my future husband at least one more time before I married him.
Penny said something, but I didn’t hear her. I sat up and smoothed my hair, interrupting her.
“I’m sorry,” I said and stood, suddenly anxious. “I’m having a little freak-out.”
“Uh oh.” Penny’s eyes got wide as she stood and fluttered around me. “Oh, shit. Can I help? Pre-wedding jitters? Are you going to run away?”
“I can’t run away. Actually, I just want to see Darren. I want to talk to him.”
She nodded quickly. “I don’t know where he is but I can find him for you.”
“Please,” I said.
She kissed my cheek then ran off to the house.
Penny could hunt him down. The staff only partially listened to me, but they obeyed her orders without hesitation. I paced along the edge of the pool until Penny waved me over.
“He got home a few minutes ago. I think he’s up in his room.”
“Thank you.” I squeezed her arm. “I’ll see you later.”
“Good luck!”
I ran off, winding through the maze-like corridors. I marveled at how quickly I’d learned the layout of this place before realizing I’d been here for a while now.
Time slipped past like oxygen through my lungs.
I knocked at Darren’s door. “Come in.”
I stepped inside and found him standing in front of the mirror adjusting the cuffs of a black dress shirt. He looked at me and smiled—and his face lit up like magic.
It almost took my breath away. He transformed from a serious, studious glare to something softer and genuinely excited to see me. I’d never experienced that before—never seen someone light up when I walked into the room like that.
“What’s going on?” he asked, head tilted. “Come for a little pre-wedding pep talk?”
I chewed on my lip and wondered, what the hell was I doing there anyway?
“Are you sure about all this?” I blurted out. “Are you really sure you want to marry me?”
His smile faltered slightly and I hated myself for letting that happen. He turned and carefully finished buttoning his cuff before stroking a thumb down his chin thoughtfully.
“I’ve been through a lot in my life. I’ve seen bad things happen and caused worse. But I’ve never second-guessed any of my own decisions, not because I’m always right, but because I believe that a man’s word means something. If I said I’ll do something, then I’ll do it.”
“That’s not exactly sweeping me off my feet.”
He held up a hand, his smile returning. “Let me finish. With you, all this has been excruciatingly hard and exceedingly easy all at once.” He came toward me, his smile deepening into something soft and caring.
“I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.”
“When I first took you, I thought you would be a tool to use against Roman. I didn’t expect something to develop between us. I never imagined I’d want you for more than just a political game.”
I chewed my lip harder. “I thought that’s all I was.”
“You’re going to be my wife for real. I told you, if you accept this and embrace it, I’ll treat you like my queen.”
“Then it’s all on me.”
“Not entirely.”
“How’s this been easy then?”
“You make it easy. You’re smart and gorgeous and you have this magnetism about you that I can’t deny, even if it pisses me off and makes things inconvenient. I don’t want to marry you, Winter—I need to marry you.”
I stared at him for a long beat, letting his words sink beneath my skin.
He stopped inches in front of me. “You asked if I was sure, and I’m telling you that I’ve never been so sure before.”
I turned away then. Tears lodged in my throat and I had to get some space. I walked across the room, my head spinning in wild directions. I didn’t think I’d get this when I came up here, but it was exactly what I needed.
I was going to marry this man. I chose to do it for my friend—to keep her safe, to maybe help end whatever war Darren was diving head-first into. But I also knew that being his wife would bring certain other benefits that I could take advantage of, if only I could accept what was happening and commit myself completely.
I hoped he’d understand, that he’d be unsure and not fully invested, and I was wrong.
So stupidly wrong.
“You asked me why I ran away from home and I still haven’t told you. Do you still want to know?”
“Of course.” His smile faded and his voice was soft. “I want to know everything about you.”
I wrapped my arms around myself and stared at his bed. King-sized, gray sheets, sleek headboard, modern and beautiful, a work of art in itself. Soon I’d share that bed with him, sleep next to him, fall into his world—this room would become my room.
If I could accept it and commit to it.
“My father used to have a lot of parties at our house. He’d invite clients and potential clients, get them all to mingle and talk politics and money and whatever, and hopefully bring more money into the firm. I grew up with those parties. He’d show me off to everyone, brag about his smart little girl, then send me off to my room so the grown-ups could talk uninterrupted.
“That was fine for a while, until I met a new client named Jerry. I was fourteen when we first met.” I looked back at him and met his gaze. I wanted him to understand this part. “Fourteen. Barely a girl. I was in eighth grade. I’d gotten my braces off two months earlier.”
“What did he do?” Darren stepped forward, radiating a quiet anger.
“He never touched me. I’ll be clear about that. He never once touched me.” I looked away again, hugging myself tighter. “But it was almost worse. He sent me a present after that first party. I didn’t think anything of it. Dad said he was just that kind of guy, you know? Very nice, always kind to families, that sort of thing. He hadn’t given me much attention and I didn’t dwell.
“But then he had another party and Jerry spent half the night following me around, asking me questions about school and my friends and what music I liked to listen to. I lik
ed the attention at first but it quickly became overbearing and intense and creepy. I escaped to my room, and the next day a bouquet of flowers showed up. Dad didn’t think anything of it. I had a bad feeling.”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly let it out.
“Over the next year, Jerry called, texted, and emailed me constantly. He sent me gifts, lavish, ridiculous gifts. Eventually my father began to send the presents back unopened, but they never stopped. If anything, Jerry got more aggressive and started leaving little notes for me on the mailbox and on our front door. I told my dad I wanted it to stop, but he only said Jerry was a nice guy and an important client, so I should just be happy I was getting some positive male attention.”
I turned back to stare at Darren. He seethed with a barely restrained rage.
“I was fifteen when Jerry sent me an explicit email. Before that, it hadn’t been obviously sexual. He said and did things that made me uncomfortable, but he was careful not to cross the line.”
“What did it say?” Darren sounded like he wanted to kill something.
Which he probably did. I felt a sudden surge in my chest. I remembered telling my dad about all these presents, all the unwanted attention, and how he hadn’t given a damn. It felt good to tell someone that cared.
“I don’t remember the details anymore and I don’t want to, but it was bad enough that my dad had a talk with Jerry. The emails and calls stopped, but the presents never did. They just kept coming, almost every week.”
“That bastard.” Darren’s eyes blazed. “Your father let it happen. He cared more about his money than he did about his daughter.”
“That’s why I left. I knew that my dad would gladly sacrifice me for his business. He didn’t care that I was suffering and basically being stalked by a fifty-year-old man. My dad didn’t care because he was getting paid and Jerry was important.”
“Did it ever stop? Did that sick fuck harass you until you turned eighteen?”
I shook my head, smiling ruefully at the memory. “When I was sixteen, I told Jerry I’d meet him for coffee. An older friend of mine with a car drove me and came in. I stood at the table and looked at Jerry, at his sad, pathetic, hopeful smile, and I told him that he was a sick, slimy, disgusting pervert, and that if he didn’t stop bothering me I’d post all of the gross messages he’d sent me online and let the world judge him. I said it as loudly as I could, and I guess it scared him enough to make him back down.” I rubbed my arms at the memory. I was so scared, so terrified that my dad would kill me for confronting my disgusting pedo stalker, but nothing ever came of it. Dad never said anything, and Jerry stopped bothering me.
