The Pacifist

by Elin Peer

  “I can’t lie, Mila.”

  Mila leaned back and propped herself up on her elbow facing me. “Letting them assume something isn’t the same as lying.”

  “It’s not honest either.”

  “You said you were willing to fight for me. Did you think you wouldn’t have to make any sacrifices?”

  I linked my little finger with hers. “You wouldn’t think less of me if I let them believe a lie?”

  “Nope. I’m not some innocent Motlander. I was raised among wolves, remember?”

  I looked around her beautiful room with crown moldings and rich colors on the walls. “Yeah, it’s a rough environment.”

  “I know, right?” She laughed. “Wolves everywhere.” Lifting her head, she nodded to the floor where the four dogs lay stretched out. “But at least they’re cute and friendly.”

  “And does your pack have room for another member?”

  Her smile drew me in with the urge to kiss her.

  With a hand to my chest, she stopped me. “Are we sure that we want the same thing?”

  “I want you.”

  “You said that the last time, but you weren’t ready to go all the way.”

  My eyebrows rose up. “I was ready! We talked about it. I wanted to make love to you.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I said I wanted everything, as in marriage and family, remember? You were the one who didn’t see the need. You wanted to keep our love secret.”

  Letting my fingers caress her face, I spoke with sincerity. “The secret is out, Mila! After my speech today, the whole world knows that I love you.”

  Her adorable apple cheeks brought out her dimples as she smiled. “I love you too.”

  “Does that mean you’ll cancel the tournament?”

  “No.”

  “No?” I blinked my eyes in confusion. “But I want to marry you.” I pulled back. “You’re not actually making me fight in the tournament for you, are you?”

  “Would you?”

  “Mila… I… I… hate violence. I’m not a fighter.”

  “Is that a no?”

  “Yes, that’s a no. If you want me to fight, then I’m not the right man for you. I’m a pacifist and I thought you were too.”

  Mila chuckled. “You should have seen your face. For a second there, you thought you didn’t know me at all, didn’t you? Of course I don’t want you to fight.”

  “So, you are going to cancel the tournament?”

  “No, but I’m not going to marry the winner either. There will still be fighting, gambling, drinking, and fun. The winner will get money, but no bride unless one of the Motlander women from the Matching Program picks him. I’ve suggested that we invite as many of them as possible and make it a big matchmaking event. That way Khan can still perform weddings at the end.”

  “Sounds like you have it all figured out.”

  “Not quite, but I discussed it with my parents, and Pearl and Khan a few hours ago.”

  “Huh. And here I was preparing to have a couple of black eyes after telling Magni that I plan to marry his daughter."

  Mila reached out for me. “That might still happen.”

  “You’re worth it.”

  She gave a soft laugh that got muffled when I kissed her.

  Physical contact between us had always been as easy as breathing. I rained kisses down on her while we helped each other undress and get under the covers. The feeling of her naked body against mine was arousing and licking the valley between her breasts felt satisfying in itself.

  "Are we really doing it this time?"

  She whispered her short answer into my ear. "Yes."

  The thought that we were about to take our relationship to the closest physical level a man and woman could reach together was exhilarating.

  Everything happened organically, from kissing to rubbing against each other. We were rocking slowly, neither of us forcing or pacing anything. It felt like no time had passed since the last time we had ground against each other.

  At first, I was focused on our kissing but then Mila wriggled into position, making the tip of my cock slide up between her folds. When I pressed at her entrance, I kept looking into the beautiful eyes of my best friend in the whole world, worried that she might not like it, but Mila kept smiling at me.

  With every rocking movement I penetrated her a little more.

  “It feels good, Jonah.”

  I couldn’t answer her. My throat was only able to produce inarticulate sounds as I pushed deeper, hoping I wouldn’t hurt her.

  “Yes.” Leaning her head back, Mila arched a little and in doing so she pushed her amazing breasts upward toward me like a delicious serving of herself. My head lowered and my tongue slid across her skin and then an instinctual need made me suckle her hard nipples.

  “Mmm.” Another sweet moan from Mila gave me confidence that she enjoyed this too.

  The warmth that radiated from her made me want to go as deep as I could possibly go into this gorgeous woman who was by some great miracle giving herself to me. Her eyes became hooded and her breathing shallow as sweet little moans came from her.

  Making a sound of deep appreciation, I whispered, “You’re perfect.”

  Being inside a woman was a new experience to me, but as Mila wrapped her arms around me and pulled me up for more kissing, I knew this was my new favorite thing in the world.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  “Not as much as I love you,” I pushed a little harder inside her.

  “I want you so much.” Mila raised her legs and locked her feet around my waist. With her arms already wrapped around my neck, and us connected at our cores, she whispered while looking deep into my eyes. “Now we’re as close as we can ever get.”

  I stopped rocking my hips and just took a second to enjoy the way our hearts were beating against each other and the oneness I felt with her. “This is magical. Like coming home.”

  “Welcome home, then…” Her laugh was sweet and melodic, and then she moved to show me that she wanted more of our lovemaking.

  In my mind I thought about Forbidden Letters from the North and the many positions they had discussed in that book. In the past I’d had always imagined sex to be a somewhat mechanical activity that required variation and creativity, but nothing could make me change my position from being between Mila’s legs. Being face to face with her and feeling her gorgeous naked body wrapped around mine was satisfying on such a deep level that I didn’t want it to ever stop. “I want this to last forever.”

  “Me too.”

  Every erogenous zone was activated, and her cute panting and moaning in my ear combined with the sweet friction between us brought out a new side of me. I didn’t want to hurt her, but my hips pushed in and out of her faster and harder.

  “Fuck yes.” My politeness was gone and left me reduced to a man with a raw and primal desire for his woman. “Is this passionate enough for you?”

  “Yes. So good…” Mila was panting like me and as I pulled back to look into her eyes, I saw only intense lust for me.

  She is the sexiest woman in the world. The words in my head made it impossible for me to hold back anymore. “I’m coming,” I warned and pushed at her legs to break free from her hold.

  Mila lifted her head to see when I spurted semen on her belly and pelvis area. “Wow.”

  We were both breathing heavily and stared at the clear fluid on her stomach.

  “I’m sorry,” I said and lay down beside her. “I couldn’t hold it back.”

  “Don’t be sorry. It was amazing.”

  “But you didn’t come.”

  “Are we done?” Her eyes blinked at me and it made me laugh.

  “No, we’re not done. I just had this vision in my head of us coming together at the same time. You know, like they do in the books.”

  Mila reached for some tissues on her nightstand and began drying her stomach off. “I’m not sure those books are always realistic. What about the part where they give eac
h other oral at the same time? It sounds fictional to me. I mean they would have to be acrobats, wouldn’t they?”

  “No. It’s possible. They’re referring to a book called Kama Sutra and it’s a real thing. I looked it up and there were movies made with people demonstrating one hundred and one sexual positions. We can watch it if you want to.”

  She chuckled. “How about you watch it and then you teach me?”

  I smiled at the prospect of having sex with Mila one hundred and one times. “I may not know that many positions, yet, but I do know five or ten. Would you like to try a few of them tonight?”

  Mila nodded.

  “You trust me, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Her face grew a little red, but she didn’t protest when I spread her legs again and moved in a better position to pleasure her with oral sex.

  “Mmmm, this is much better than I imagined.” Mila’s hands weaved into my short hair.

  I’d never given oral sex before, but I was curious and enjoyed the taste of her. I knew enough about the female anatomy to know about the clitoris and let my tongue circle around it. Mila drew in a breath and arched on the bed a little. It only empowered me to keep licking her with long slow movements of my tongue.

  “Mmmm,” she moaned and when I inserted my index finger inside her, she spread her legs further. “Yeees.”

  My tongue and fingers tirelessly experimented with ways to bring her pleasure. My reward came when her breathing grew faster and faster and her hands grabbed the bedsheet and squeezed her hands around the fabric. With Mila arching on the bed and giving small screams of pleasure, her dogs reacted and came to see what was going on. I tried pushing Happy away when he jumped on the bed and began licking Mila’s face like he was worried she was sad. When Holger and Loki followed, we ended up giving up and laughing at the situation.

  We stayed up all night, crossing into a magical wonderland, too busy exploring this new world of sex to sleep. When Mila finally gave in after four times of making love, I was exhausted too.

  With a large yawn, I pulled her against my body. “I feel like when you go to a large buffet and you get full before you’ve tasted all the things you wanted.”

  “Me too, but we don’t need to stuff ourselves. We’ll spend the rest of our lives together. We have time to take it easy.”

  I chuckled against her blond hair. “I don’t plan on taking it easy with you. I’m too in love to be mellow.”

  “Who said anything about being mellow? I like that you’re passionate.”

  My eyes were heavy and my breathing already slow and deep. “Goodnight, Miss Sunshine,” I muttered low.

  “Goodnight, my love.”

  CHAPTER 22

  Legendary

  Mila

  I woke up at the sound of my door opening and Freya calling out to me. “Mila, get up, we need your help.”

  With my hair pointing in all directions, I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes.

  “Freya, what’s wrong? What time is it?”

  “It’s ten o’clock and breakfast is long over. Everyone wants to talk to you two.” She nodded to Jonah, who lay comatose on his stomach. “How can he sleep so heavily?”

  “He was… ehh… very tired.”

  Squatting down, Freya snuggled with the dogs, who wanted her attention. “I don’t think your dad likes that you two had a sleep-over.”

  “I’m an adult, Freya. I don’t need to ask my dad’s permission.”

  Freya came closer and lowered her voice. “Is it true that you’re not having a tournament?”

  “Yes.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “How did you get out of it?”

  I reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I said the magic word.”

  Freya leaned closer. “There’s a magic word?”

  “Yes.”

  “What is it?”

  I looked deep into her green eyes, hoping that this beautiful girl with her brilliant mind and promising future in front of her would remember it forever. “The magic word is no.”

  “No?”

  “Yes, just no.”

  She pulled back. “I thought you were going to teach me a real magic word.”

  “Sometimes, the smallest things hold the biggest power. There will come a time when saying no will be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. I need you to promise me that you’ll still find the courage within yourself to say no, if yes doesn’t feel right.”

  “I know how to say no.” Freya twisted her mouth. “I’ve known since I was two. I swear, sometimes you grown-ups are weird.”

  “Yes, we are, and one day you’ll be weird too.”

  She shrugged. “My parents told me to wake you up, so you’d better come downstairs.” Giving the dogs a last rub behind their ears, Freya moved to the door before turning to me, “I forgot to tell you that Christina came early and began working her way through the basement. I’m going down to help her.”

  “All right. I’ll come and help in a little while.”

  I gave my young cousin an air kiss before she closed the door and then I poked at Jonah. “Time to wake up, handsome.”

  He made a sound of protest but I rolled on top of his back and kissed his neck. “Wakey, wakey…”

  Jonah gave a long yawn. “Can we stay in bed all day?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “I feel dead. How long did we sleep?”

  I moved off his back, so Jonah could turn around. He opened his arms and I snuggled up against him.

  “It can’t have been more than a few hours.”

  “That’s because sex with you is my new favorite thing in the whole world.”

  “Ditto.”

  Jonah grinned and tickled me. “I never thought anyone or anything would rank higher on your list than your dogs.”

  Squirming to get away from his tickling, I grinned. “I know, I’m surprised too.”

  We showered and dressed before walking downstairs to get some breakfast. Since the buffet in the dining room had been cleared away, I took Jonah’s hand and led the way to the kitchen, where my friends Sheriff and Jimmy were working on lunch and dinner.

  “There you are. We were getting worried that you might be sick,” Sheriff said in his hoarse voice that always made his laughter sound so funny.

  “Nope, Jonah and I were catching up all night. We’re hungry.”

  Both men had been hired by Grandma Erika more than twenty years ago and were now in their sixties.

  Sheriff had his hands down on a ball of dough but stopped kneading it. “Now, Master Jonah, I don’t want you to think we aren’t as technologically advanced up here as in the Motherlands. We have kitchen-bots; I just think bread tastes better when I put my love into it.”

  “Aha!” I grinned and teased, “I knew there had to be a secret ingredient, I just never knew it was your sweat and love. Do you mind if I grab something for Jonah and me in the fridge?”

  “Help yourself, Mila.” Sheriff turned to Jonah and threw a nod to his colleague. “Me and Jimmy saw your speech. I can’t tell you how lucky we felt to be Northlanders. The way those women ruin your life and deny you basic freedom, like the joy of drinking beer is crazy. They should be fucking ashamed of themselves.”

  Jimmy, a lanky man with a big heart, was quick to agree. “That’s right.”

  “Why are you standing by the oven like that?” I asked him.

  “Ah, this old thing has been giving us trouble. I don’t want the cookies to burn so I’m keeping an eye on them.” He pointed to Jonah. “You know what you should do if they fire you? You should stay up here and be free like us.”

  Jonah gave a slight nod. “Thank you for your kind sympathy. I appreciate the support.”

  “No, for real…” Sheriff frowned. “People are furious about what happened to you. There are several protests taking place right now.”

  “Really?” Jonah shifted his balance.

  “Yes, our local bar sent out a call for people to come and show their
disagreement. It’s not right how the Council has been treating you. Jimmy and I are going tonight after dinner, right, Jimmy?”

  Jimmy, who was busy taking the cookies out of the oven, gave a loud “Fuck yeah.”

  Handing Jonah a glass of celery juice from the fridge, I gave Sheriff a sideways glance. “You sure your local bar isn’t just trying to capitalize on the general disappointment about the situation? It’s not really a protest if you all just sit around and complain about it over large beers, is it?”

  Sheriff pummeled a bit extra upon the dough. “It’s not like we can fucking march to the Motherlands and give them our opinion face to face.”

  “Don’t worry about it. The fact that you care means a lot to me.” Jonah took a sip of the juice and yawned just as the door swung open behind us.

  “Why aren’t you answering when I call you?”

  I turned. “Dad.”

  “It’s almost noon and we have work to do.”

  Jonah sat down the juice and took a step toward my dad. “Hey, Magni, it’s good to see you. Geez, I’d forgotten how tall you are when you’re out of bed.”

  My dad didn’t smile back. “I want to see you in my office, now!”

  “But we haven’t had breakfast yet,” I protested.

  My dad had already turned and was leaving. “I said now!”

  Jonah gave me an oh-shit look but followed.

  When the door closed, I swallowed and looked to Sheriff and Jimmy. “He’s gonna be fine.”

  They both averted their gazes and focused on their work. “My dad would never hurt Jonah.” I was trying to calm myself, but their silence made my hands tremble. “Do you think he would harm Jonah?”

  Sheriff’s shoulders lifted and fell as he let out a long sigh. “Magni is unpredictable. It’s impossible to say.”

  Jimmy tried with a more optimistic approach. “Maybe he just wants to warn him against fighting in your tournament. I mean, people have been laughing about it on the News since he said it last night.”

  I looked up to the screen in the kitchen. “People are laughing at Jonah?”