by Wood, Lauren
“I don’t have much family around, so I can’t think of who it would be.”
“Well, do you have anyone you would want me to check about? I can’t really name off the people that have come in, HIPAA laws and all.”
“I understand.” I racked my brain, trying to think of who it could be, that would get me a call about. I had no family around anymore, just Mario…
“Mario Ruiz.”
The woman told me that she would check, and I prayed that it wasn’t him. I don’t know why they would call me, unless something horrible had happened.
“Yes, but I am sorry to say, him and the woman he was driving with came in DOA.”
My heart stopped. They were dead-on-arrival. I couldn’t hear the rest of what the woman said. I hung the phone up, or rather, it dropped out of my hand and I was just staring off into space, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Had I just lost my best friend. And the woman. Was it Latica?
Then my mind went faster and landed on the most important tidbit. What about Stephen? I had to call back and ask about the baby, but he wasn’t in the car. I was able to breathe again, but it was still painful, with every breath going into my lungs, feeling like fire.
My mind was whirling with what to do next. I had made promises. My friend was dead. What the hell was I supposed to do?
Chapter 6
Liz
“How are you?”
“Who’s this?”
The voice chuckled, but it was strained. Whoever it was, they didn’t have anything good to share with me.
“Ouch. Do you really not know who this is?”
“I do now. What do you want Glenn? Did you lock yourself out of the house again, because I’m about fifteen minutes away? I am painting at the moment and I know you don’t think it’s all that important…”
“So, you haven’t been answering your phone.”
“Not really. I just got back to the car. What’s going on.”
I heard him cuss under his breath and Glenn was starting to freak me out. Not only had he called me out of the blue, something that had never happened since I’d known him. But also, he had this quality to his voice that made me nervous as hell and I didn’t know what that was about.
“I am sorry Liz. I don’t want to be the one to tell you this…”
“Well come on, it can’t be worth all of this build-up Glenn. Is this how you dazzle all your woman, because maybe they just sleep with you to shut you up.”
“Seriously Liz, this isn’t a joke.”
“What isn’t? I have no idea what you’re calling me about, so spit it out, because I have a lot going on today.”
“Not anymore Liz. I am sorry, but your brother and Latica got in a wreck a little while ago. I got a call from the hospital and they were both DOA.”
He was saying words, but they didn’t make any sense. What did he mean DOA? It didn’t take long though, for me to figure it out.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but I’m in California and I can’t get a flight out until tomorrow.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Stephen.”
Then it all hit me, and I felt like I was going to cry. I was still trying to figure out what he had been talking about with my brother and his wife, but then it really clicked. They were gone. Their baby… my nephew was now an orphan. I couldn’t decide which one my heart was breaking for. I couldn’t even imagine; all I could think about was how my world was crumbling.
“Fuck. Stephen. Fuck.”
“Are you going to be okay? The hospital has someone trying to track him down. Do you know where he is?”
“I do. He’s at the babysitters. They were just getting some stuff for the vacation; you know little bottles for the plane. Oh my God. I think I’m going to be sick.”
And I was. It all came up and I was shaky when I finally realized he was still on the phone. “Shit, sorry. I need to go. I will go get him.”
“Okay Liz. Call me tonight and let me know that everything is okay.”
“Why would I do that Glenn? We can’t even stand each other.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment and then his voice was low.
“Because we’re the godparents Liz and we’re in this together.”
His words brought me a small sliver of peace, but more realizations in another. How had I known that this godmother business would be more, than just in name alone? I had felt something was going to come of it, but I had never guessed it would be this soon. Stephen was barely four months old.
I sat there in my car, staring at my lunch on the ground and the phone in my hand. I don’t know what I was going to do, but I knew that I had to go get Stephen. I promised to raise him and take care of him just like my own. I had meant it and I was not going to let them down. I didn’t have time to grieve, because I had to focus on Stephen. I knew that it was the only way that I was going to be able to handle it.
Glenn’s words echoed in my mind and I wondered if he meant them. He was a doctor, sure, but the rest of his life was carefree. I never saw him when he was being serious and taking care of business, but he’d told me that we would be in it together. I needed to believe it. Even if it was a lie, I needed to believe that I wasn’t going to be doing this all alone. I don’t know if I would be able to handle that right now.
After a few minutes, I was able to pull myself out of the funk, because I had to. I had to go get Stephen and somehow figure out a way for this to work. I didn’t want to think about how this was going to play out, not right now. I was still trying to manage the idea of living without Mario. Our parents sucked and we’d moved out as soon as we could. They gave us trust funds and every tutor we could ever want growing up, but that was about it. They hadn’t gotten to the part of love and trust. Me and Mario had felt like we were all each other had.
Now I had no one and I couldn’t imagine how that was going to feel going forward. Then I thought about my nephew and I got even more misty-eyed. He wasn’t even going to remember them.
Before I could go to get Stephen, I had to see my brother with my own eyes. I had to know that what Glenn had said was real. I wanted it to be a mistake, so I had to go see for myself.
The hospital wasn’t far from where I lived, so I stopped by. When I got to the front desk and told the woman what I wanted, she had sadness in her eyes. I wasn’t even able to really process what was going on. I needed to. But I had to see Mario first. I had to see that him and Latica were really gone.
“I am sorry Miss. They have been put downstairs in the morgue.”
The words made me numb and I agreed.
“You want to identify the body?”
I agreed again, but this time, my eyes were misting up. I never imagined that I would be in such a scenario.
“Yes, that’s what I must do.”
She gave me directions and I wandered the hospital for a while, finally taking the elevator downstairs to the morgue. It was cold in the elevator, or it was my own emotions making it feel that way.
When I got down there, I was greeted by a gentle, older man. I could tell he had done this before.
“Are you ready?”
He knew why I was here and though I wasn’t ready at all, I nodded my head.
Carl went to a drawer and pulled it out. It was too similar to the movies. He opened another drawer next to it, and I didn’t have to pull back the sheet to know. Mario’s wrist was exposed, and I could see the bracelet that I’d given him years before.
The color bands braided together was my undoing. I started to cry right then and there. My brother was really gone and a part of me wanted to lie down next to them and never wake up.
I was a mess as I drove to go get the baby, everything running around in my head, no matter how badly I tried to stop it. I had to pull over several times on the way back, just because my emotions were getting the best of me.
It was only when I pulled up finally to pick him up, tha
t I started to actually panic. I didn’t know the first thing about babies. What was I supposed to do? I don’t think I was even cut out to be a mother, never had been in the ‘plan’. But now there was no plan and I felt stupid for even thinking that I could bend the will of the universe to me.
When I finally going out and got Stephen, I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to say much without bawling and I didn’t want to start out like that. That would be for later, when I was lying awake at night, because at the moment, I didn’t think that I was going to be able to sleep ever again.
I went back to my place and then realized I needed to grab some stuff from Mario’s. It was hard to go over there, seeing all of their things and knowing that they would never be back for it. I was dying inside, and the only comfort left, was the baby that was now holding onto me and looking at me like I was Latica.
An anguished sound came out from between my lips and I knew a lot of that came with the idea that she had somehow known that it was going to happen. Why would she have been so insisted otherwise? That idea didn’t sit well in my stomach and I didn’t know what to say or think about it. I was numb.
Deciding that the only thing to do was feed Stephen and get him into bed, I did that and then laid in the nursery. I didn’t think I would ever sleep again, but the raw emotions seemed to make it easier to drift off. It didn’t hurt when I was sleeping at least.
Chapter 7
Glenn
I got on a plane as soon as I could. I wasn’t worried about the conference or the surgeries stacked up back at the hospital that I had to attend to, the patients, everything else that had seemed to matter so much only hours before. Now all I could think about was how much I wanted to be back home. How much I wanted to see Mario again.
The christening played back in my head over and over again. I know that Mario said it was in name only, but now it wasn’t. No one would blame me for walking away, and there was a knee-jerk reaction to send money and walk away. But then I thought about his sister and his son. I couldn’t do it.
I knew that the only way that I was going to be able to help, was to do what I had signed up for. It was done spur of the moment, but I realized now that it was going to be something that changed my life for good. Who would have known, that this would happen?
Liz had been broken on the phone and I could only imagine her trying to deal with everything. I wanted to be there for her. I know that we had not seen eye to eye in the past, but that didn’t mean that I would ever want to see her hurt in such a way. There had been distance between us because of Mario. Now I wondered how this was all going to work out, now that Mario was gone.
I had to remind myself several times, before I got back home. Mario was gone. The house was dark when I pulled up in my car. I had been staying with them for months and they’d made me feel like I was part of the family. I felt like I had lost some of my own. I don’t know if I was ever going to be able to forgive the universe for taking more away from me.
When I got to the door, it was unlocked. I pushed it in and wondered why they hadn’t locked it before they left. They were usually pretty good about that.
There was a light on in the kitchen and one from underneath the baby’s room. I went to the closed door and pushed it open. The lights were on bright, but it didn’t bother the two inhabitants that were sound asleep. I don’t know why, but there was a lot of relief to see the two of them together and to not come home to a dark and silent house. I think that would have been too much, given everything that was going on.
“Come on Liz. Let’s get you somewhere to sleep.”
I startled her and she jumped with my words. Then she shushed me and looked towards the baby.
“I think he misses Latica, because it took forever for him to go to sleep a while ago.”
She was looking at me as if I would be dead if I woke him up. I had a feeling that she meant it. There was a wave of emotions on her face and seeing it, made me move forward and pull her in for a hug. She was stiff at first, but finally relaxed into it.
When I pulled away, I motioned for her to follow me out into the rest of the house. I needed to talk to her. I didn’t know what I needed exactly. Part of me wanted to make sure she was okay, or was she someone to share all of it with? It was a lot to take on, and the more I tried to think about it, the more I was lost in a wave of emotions.
“I didn’t think you would be here until tomorrow.”
“I caught the red eye to get here early. I didn’t know if you would be here.”
“Stephen seems happier here, more comforted. I don’t know what to do. I found one of Latica’s shirts in the hamper and I put it on earlier. That seemed to help.”
I looked at the shirt in question and it was rather tight in certain places. Liz was more top heavy, and it showed, but there was no time for that, no matter how heavy the grief was. It wasn’t going to be that easy to forget about what I was here for. Why we had been thrown together in such a situation.
“That was a very good idea. It’s going to be hard for him, but Stephen will learn that she is gone. Soon, he will forget about her altogether.”
I was trying to comfort her, but it was impossible when her face started to break. “I know. He isn’t going to remember Latica and she was the perfect mom. This is all too much.”
More tears started to fall, and I pulled her into my arms. Something about the sobs that racked her and me from holding her, did something to me. I knew then, that I was never going to be able to let her go. I had to stand by her and do my part, if not for Mario, then at least for his sister Liz. I had to protect her from all that was going to come, like I hadn’t been able to protect Mario. I don’t know why everything seemed to fall in place, but now I knew that no matter how tragic, we were going get through it together.
I told her as much and she finally started to calm down.
“Why don’t we go get some tea or coffee, something to calm you down?”
“I don’t think that it’s going to work. How about we raid the liquor cabinet and see if he has anything good in the medicine cabinet?”
Then she remembered the baby and sighed. “I can’t even do that.”
“How about a glass of wine? We will be okay with just a glass to wind down.”
She seemed to need that permission and I was happy to give it to her. We went to the kitchen together and ended up sharing stories about Mario for the next hour. We had a couple of glasses of wine, but both of us needed it.
Stephen waking up for his bottle got us back to reality and the conversation after that, was more focused on the specifics of how we were going to get through this partnership that we had together. I wasn’t sure the answer for it, but I knew that I had to help in any way that I could.
“So where should we stay, here? It’s weird staying here, but I know that Stephen likes it better. All of his stuff is here.”
“Yes, I would agree. I already live here, so that will help. Just bring over what you want, take their bedroom over and then you will have your place for when you want some quiet and I have him.”
“Really, you’re going to let me just relax over there?”
“Of course. You’re going to need to do your art, have some time to yourself. When I said that we were in this together, I meant it.”
“But you have such a crazy schedule. I saw it posted on the kitchen wall. It’s madness.”
“Well, I’ll have to fix that. I haven’t really thought about that all that much yet. I haven’t gotten there. A job is a job and I love it, but you guys come first, always.”
That seemed to calm her down more than the wine and I was thankful to have said it. I wanted her to calm down, relax. She needed to know that everything is going to be okay.
“Thanks, Glenn. I don’t know what I would do without you. This is above and beyond what anyone would expect out of you.”
“Why, you made the same promise I did? I am just holding up my part of it, the same as you are.”
�
��I know, but Mario is my family…”
I didn’t like that answer. I didn’t like that we weren’t.
“He isn’t blood, but I’ve considered your brother my family for decades.”
“I know, you’re right. Sorry. I know that you and Mario were always close. I think I saw you more when I was a kid, then I saw my parents. I didn’t mean that you’re not…”
I waved her off and told her that it was fine. I didn’t want to say how much her words hurt. I didn’t understand the sudden want I had to be her family, but I knew that it was complicated. Everything with Liz had been complicated, especially during senior year, when she started to blossom into a woman that no one could ignore, not even me.
“I think I’m going to get some sleep. He will be up soon. I don’t know how Latica did it.”
“I will take the next rotation. I will put the receiver in my room. Get some rest Liz.”
I brushed my lips softly against her cheek, before releasing of her from the hug. It was natural, but all of a sudden, it wasn’t. Now I was paying attention, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“Good night Glenn. I’m really glad you’re here.”
I don’t know why, but something surged inside of me and I had never felt better about a decision in my life. This was the right thing to do, I could just feel it.
Chapter 8
Liz
I slept for a long time. I didn’t know how long exactly, but it felt like the middle of the day when I finally came out of the room. The baby was lying on Glenn’s chest and both of them were fast asleep. Glenn’s shirt was off, and I could see all of the perfect muscles that he hid. He didn’t have the body of a doctor, not one that I would have recognized. Glenn was hard and lean, cut abs and chiseled biceps. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.
