by Wood, Lauren
Not sure how long I was standing there, I heard a noise from behind me and realized that someone was at the door. I started to go quickly, but saw Glenn looking at me. My face turned red and I cursed under my breath as I ran into the baby swing. I was not used to this kind of environment.
Getting to the door, it was a basket of flowers and I knew what they were for. Mario and Latica were gone, a few people knew. I had to figure out the funeral arrangements and I felt overwhelmed. My hands shook as I signed over the guy’s paperwork and thanked him. The words sounded hollow, and that’s exactly how I felt. I felt like I was completely empty, and there was nothing else left inside of me. I wanted there to be, but there wasn’t.
“Flowers already?”
“Yeah, people want to send their condolences I guess.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment and then mumbled something about people’s intentions. Glenn got up and put Stephen in the swing without waking him up. I was starting to think that he was a magic man. He could certainly do more than I could. Glenn was magic with the baby and I was thanking my lucky stars more than once since he came back.
“I don’t know how you do it. Every time I try to put him down, he wakes up.”
“You’ll get it. I wouldn’t think that it would come to you all that easy.”
“What do you mean by that?”
It was like we had forgotten all of the barbs that we had sent each other’s way through the years. That loss of memory was gone now. I knew that we couldn’t always live in the happy bubble and I was okay with that. After everything that had happened, it was nice to get back to reality for a minute.
“Well, I mean, you’re an artist and you are a bit spoiled. I am surprised that you knew how to do the diaper.”
“I watched him a few times. I know how to do it.”
I was getting offended, but superficially. It was nice to argue with him a bit.
He chuckled. “You have really surprised me Liz. Seems there is more to you, then meets the eye.”
I didn’t ask him compared to what, knowing that I wouldn’t like his answer. He was pushing it, but the smile on his face was contagious.
“Thanks for letting me sleep.”
“Do you feel better?”
I shrugged, because I don’t think I was ever going to feel better or good again. This was my new normal.
“I would feel even better if I got to take a shower first. I really need to. I smell like formula.”
“Well, you look good.”
That made me pause for a moment, though I don’t know why. I’d known for a long time that he liked what he saw. It was part of the reason that I’d messed with him in the past. But now, for one reason or another, that compliment meant so much more. I had no makeup on, no shower in a couple of days. I looked a hot mess, but he still said something nice to me. Those times meant more, than when I’d taken an hour to carefully get dressed and put makeup up.
“Thank you, Glenn. I feel like crap, but it’s good to know that someone can’t see it.”
“You will always be beautiful to me Liz. You know that. I have always found you beautiful and now is no different. Go take a shower, do what you need to do. I don’t have a shift until tonight, so take care of what you need to.”
I wasn’t sure what all I needed to do, but I knew that I had to get calls made.
“Thank you, Glenn. I really don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve been, great. I don’t know what else to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. This is what we signed up for. I will be here for you both.”
He pulled me in for another kiss and it was me that took it to another level. I don’t know why, but the feel of his mouth on mine, his hands around me, made me feel safer than I had ever felt before. I knew that I could pull strength from him and I needed that right now. I felt so helpless, like everything was out of control. I was certainly out of my control.
Something came over me and I wanted to deepen the kiss. It wasn’t a mistake this time around, but more planned. My lips pressed against his and it was only when I heard my own moan of pleasure, that I realized what I was doing. This would complicate our lives so much, that it was impossible to see a way to get out of it. I don’t know what was going on between us, but complications were not going to help.
I pulled away and apologized. I didn’t want to, but I knew it was the thing to do and I was way out of line for kissing him like that. It was already a hard-enough situation, without making it any stranger than it already was.
“Sorry Glenn, I think I must still be tired.”
“You don’t seem tired Liz.”
He had something in his tone, that made me sure that I didn’t want to really look at him. I walked into the bathroom without looking around. I don’t know why, but there was something about the kiss, the way he held me and the way it all made me feel. The last thing I needed was more problems, but with Glenn, I was starting to think that I didn’t really have a choice. I don’t think there was anything I could do to change it.
The shower made me feel better, but I was thinking about the kiss that I had started. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I was starting to understand that it was time for me to figure some things out. We were going to have to set up some boundaries, or this was going to get confusing, very quickly.
When I got out, Stephen was up, and I didn’t want to bring it up. I knew that he wouldn’t understand or anything, but it didn’t seem like the time. I went to sit with them on the couch and Glenn gently reminded me that I had things that I had to take care of.
“I know that you don’t want to do it, but it would be best if you took care of it now. A lot of people need to know, right?”
I agreed. I knew that he was right, even if I didn’t want to think about all of the people I had to call and tell that Mario and Latica were dead. There would be questions that I didn’t want to answer, over and over again.
“To do that, I think I’m going to go over to my house for a little while. Are you sure you’re okay?”
He said that he was, and I knew that he was trustable, but what I didn’t know, was how I was ever going to be able to leave him. I didn’t want to. I felt protective over the baby, it was as if I was his actual mother, because now, I was.
“Yeah, I will be fine. If you need anything, I’m here.”
His eyes twinkled and I ignored the look that he was giving me. I had to grab some things to bring over as well. There was a lot to do. I had a shopping list of things to do, including shopping. But first, I had to make some calls that I didn’t want to make. It was just going to make it all the more real.
Chapter 9
Glenn
It was almost time for me to go to work. Stephen was asleep and I was trying to figure out where Liz was. I’d seen her moving around in her house, watering some of her plants outside. But now, it had been a couple of hours since I saw her and there was no sign of her. I needed to get to work, but I couldn’t leave until she was back.
Taking the intercom with me, I went over there and knocked. It wasn’t hard, but hard enough that she should have heard me. When she didn’t, I decided that the only thing that I was going to be able to do, was find her. The door was unlocked, and I went in.
The place was exactly as I remembered it, though it felt different now. There was very little furniture, though plenty of candles and plants. Paintings that were half done or in the process of being framed, were scattered all over the dining room. It occurred to me then how much of a change this must be for her. It is for me as well, but Liz has always been centered on her own pursuits. Now all of that was over.
When I found her, she was sitting in the chair crying. I asked her what was wrong, and it looked like she was having a hard time talking.
“You know, in all of my grief and worrying about everything, do you know who I forgot to call?”
“No, who?”
“My parents. I don’t know how the hospital called you
and not them. I had to call and tell them what happened. I didn’t think it could be any harder, but I was wrong. They were shocked. My mother actually started to cry. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her cry before. It was strange.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it. I have known you two so long, but I’ve only met your parents a handful of times. Now that I’m a doctor, I guess they just called me.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s done now. I’ve been sitting here for too long, haven’t I?”
“I do need to go to work…”
“Sorry, shit. I was in my own little world or something. I don’t know. All I know is that I will get the rest done tomorrow. I am going to go lay down with the little guy and get some sleep. All I want to do is sleep.”
I helped her back over and made sure that she was going to be okay before I left. I didn’t want to go, but I had to. There was no medical leave act for a best friend. And there wasn’t anything in the handbook about becoming the real father, instead of the godfather. There were no rules for this, so I was going to have to keep it up, just like before.
When I got to work, it was hectic. I had several surgeries that I needed to make up because of the conference and that meant booking the OR for the middle of the night. I hadn’t had much sleep, but I was used to that. Living with a tiny dictator that was relentless, reminded me of my days in residency at the ER. Now I was back in my element, even if now my home life was far different.
The kiss that I got from Liz lingered on my lips and one person in particular, was not happy with the distance that I was showing today. Claudia and I had been seeing each other casually, but we flirted a lot when we had the same shift. She was a good nurse and I knew from the start that I shouldn’t have spent all of my time with her, because now I was stuck with her giving me dirty looks all night.
“What is going on with you Glenn? We had almost forty minutes in between surgeries. You didn’t even want to go find a place to hide on the third floor?”
“I am only tired Claudia. Not everything is bad. I have two more surgeries before the OR is taken back over by Dr. Compton.”
She pushed her lip out in a pout. Her face so sour and vulnerable would usually work for me. I would say something in apology and try to make her feel better. It was a game with her, but I didn’t have time or the mental capacity for her games. All I wanted to do, was get through the shift and get home.
It still felt like home, even though Mario was gone. I knew that a lot of it had to do with the instant family I was now saddled with, though it didn’t even feel like a burden.
“Come on Glenn. You know how I get, if I don’t get my fix. I need it.”
She was trying to convince me that the world was going to end if she didn’t get her way. Again, it was a game and it was spoiled. Maybe Claudia and Liz had more in common then I realized.
“I can’t be the one tonight Claudia. I have had a rough couple of days, and I don’t have time for this right now.”
I wanted to tell her that I didn’t have time for her bullshit antics, but that would have been too harsh and none of what was happening was her fault. A few days ago, when I had taken her upstairs and fucked her on one of the empty beds, it had been enough. Now, for one reason or another it just wasn’t enough for me. Not by far.
“So, are you saying that you want it to be someone else?”
Finally, I looked at the woman. She wasn’t tall like Liz and it was strange to immediately compare the two women, but that’s all I was thinking about at the moment. How did the beautiful Claudia, compare to the messy woman that had been there to see me this morning? There was certainly a lot of differences and while they were both pretty, I can’t say why, but I had always been partial to Liz. She was forbidden fruit that I had only thought about for many years. Too many to count really.
“If you are that eager to find someone else, then go for it. I don’t have time for this today, so you do what you have to do.”
I turned to leave, and she stopped me. Her body was close to mine, her breasts brushed up against my arm and sometimes, I really think that she was a lot better at it than I was.
“Come on Glenn. I don’t want to argue with you. Please.”
“It’s doctor. It would make things easier for you to be reminded what we are to each other. You’re a good nurse, one of the best, but this, isn’t working.”
I pulled my arm away and ignored the red lips screwed up in anger. There was something about the way she had demanded my attention that really bothered me. It wasn’t the first time, but now I didn’t want anyone to think that they owned me, especially not her.
“Fine doctor, but you’re making a mistake.”
I probably was, but I didn’t comment one way or another. It was easy for me to pretend that I didn’t care what happened, but I did. I didn’t need her talking about our relationship and I chided myself for being so quick to say something. I didn’t have to go there. I shouldn’t have and I had a feeling that I was going to pay for it.
The rest of the evening was less chaotic, and I was home before the sun was coming up, but I was also miffed at the conversation with Claudia. I was upset that I didn’t know what the hell was going on between me and Liz. It was complicated, always was with her, but now we were in close quarters, so it wasn’t something that I could think about in my own time.
When I got back, Liz was in the kitchen and she had the baby in the highchair. She was laughing with him and singing. It was a sweet moment, that changed drastically when I saw what she was wearing. The camisole and robe were thin and light in color. Which meant, that I could see every one of her curves. She was very tone, but from pulling her to me for the kiss, I’d learned that she was yielding as well. Her ass was pert, but soft when I grabbed it before.
How was I truly expected to live with her and not think of all or any of this? It seemed impossible.
“Morning beautiful.”
Liz turned around and smiled. She almost leaned in and gave me a kiss, but she stopped herself. I was a little disappointed, but the very fact that she wanted to, told me that we were going in the right direction.
“God, you scared me Glenn. I didn’t know what time you were going to be home. I am making some breakfast if you want some.”
“What are you making?”
She crinkled her nose up and looked at the pan. “I think it’s oatmeal. Do you like oatmeal?”
I shook my head that I didn’t. It certainly wasn’t something that I would choose to have.
“I don’t know, Latica made it for him, but he doesn’t seem to like my version of it.”
I looked in the pan and I could see black more than beige. She didn’t seem to be very good at cooking either.
“Not the domestic goddess, huh?”
“Come on, you’ve known me long enough to know that I have never been that way.”
“Well, good thing that he is little. By the time he cares, you will have it down.”
She watched me work for a moment, talking to Stephen when he started to get irate with the speed of his breakfast. I took the pan and started making a fresh batch. I was exhausted from work, but there was nothing else that I could think about wanting to do more.
Liz never did put anything else on. She was already that comfortable with me, which was nice, but also dangerous as well. She didn’t worry about how she was dressed, though all I could think about, was how much I wanted her to understand how she affected me. Liz really couldn’t be clueless to her charm. She used to tie me in knots with it and laugh about it. Now, it felt different, though I was still in knots by the end of the night.
I went to bed alone, thinking about the choices I had made. Maybe I should have taken Claudia up on her offer. It certainly would have helped me sleep, as well as kept my mind off of bad things that I shouldn’t be thinking about. If nothing else, it at least would have taken the edge off.
When I woke up a while later, I went to the shower first. It took me a minute to remem
ber what had happened and all of the changes that had taken place in my life the last few days.
I walked into the bathroom and the first thing I saw, was the bra that was now hanging on the shower rod. It was Liz’s and my hand was touching the fabric before I could stop myself. I remembered the bra strap showing the day before on her and I pulled my hand away, as if I had been burned.
I took my shower quickly, taking care to relieve myself of all of the frustration that was bottling up inside. I thought about all of the times that I had been revved up by Liz and knew that I was going to have to slow my roll. As much as I wanted her, I also knew that she wasn’t ready.
Getting out, I was drying off my hair, when I heard her voice.
“Feel better?”
Did she know I had rubbed one off thinking of her? I took her question the wrong way for a moment. Then of course, I realized that she didn’t know, and I chuckled. “Much better. Sleep and a shower does help, you’re right.”
It was around two in the afternoon. I didn’t need much sleep, but I had a couple consultations that I had to get to. Liz had her own agenda as well, so I let her take some more calls and run to the funeral parlor, while I had my resident take care of my consultations. We were going to stall them long enough, so that I could give her some time.
She needed it, but there was also a peace that had come over her. I don’t know if it was taking care of Stephen or not, but something had changed her. I liked the way it looked on her.
When Liz left, I was able to think about how strange it was, how easily we had fallen in line with each other. There was always something between us and it had usually come out as some kind of spite that we had for each other. I don’t know where it came from, but none of that was present now. It was like it had all fallen away and it was easy, maybe too easy, because it made me think that there was something more going on between us, but I could be wrong.
She came back after a few hours and I was able to get my consolations done, even if they were a little late. I was more surprised that there was a meal ready when I got home. That wasn’t something I expected, not from her.
