by Wood, Lauren
“I just can’t sleep, dreams. I really didn’t want to bother you.”
“You could never bother me. Come to bed. I will throw on some boxers, if you want. You can always come to me, for anything that you need. You know, that right?”
“No, I want you to be comfortable. You’re fine, if that’s how you sleep.”
“Well, then come on.”
I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to worry about that, but I couldn’t form any words. I was still thinking about the hard body that was now so close. I could still see every bit of him in my mind and it wasn’t the right situation at all.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”
“You’re fine Liz, really. Let’s get some sleep. Stephen will be up soon.”
He was acting like it was no big deal. When I finally turned back towards him, he had the sheet pulled around his waist, but the cloth was low, and it didn’t hide much at all. I was still beet red from seeing too much and I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to deal with it. I couldn’t look him in the eyes right now.
Glenn laid down and I was thankful that he was making no big thing about it, but it didn’t change my reaction. I was still nervous as hell and there was nothing that I could do about it. As much as I wanted to believe that I was immune to all of this, above it even, I was starting to realize that it may not be true.
“Why are you shaking?”
“I saw too much.” I blurted out the words before I could stop them. It was that simple and now I was embarrassed.
He chuckled and I liked the sound of it. He was full of confidence I don’t think I was ever going to feel. Glenn liked my response too much and I told myself then, that I was going to have to be more careful when I said things. It was no longer the space where we could be snarky with each other. I knew that things had went past that line a while ago and as far as I could tell, there was no way for me to fix it.
“It’s okay, I saw too much of you too. You’re beautiful Liz.”
His words weren’t helping the awkwardness of the situation. I wanted to believe that there was something that I was going to be able to do help it, but I don’t think that there was.
“Well, thank you, but we both know that this isn’t going to make it any easier. We can’t think about stuff like that. It’s just better if we don’t.”
“Better for who?”
At the moment it was better for my mind and well-being, but he didn’t seem to be too bothered by it.
“For both of us. This is already a trying time.”
“Then why are you trembling?”
“You think too highly of yourself Glenn. I was just trying to get a little comfort. It has nothing to do with what you’re wearing underneath the sheet. That’s a bit more than I wanted to get from you.”
He chuckled again, but this time he didn’t seem as sure of himself as he had been before.
“Fine Liz, go to sleep and I will make sure that the bad dreams don’t find you.”
That made me smile and I knew that if I wasn’t going to say more, it was just going to make it more complicated. I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep, but it was still hard. It felt impossible.
“You’re going to have to stop tossing and turning Liz.”
I was bumping up against his body a lot and that seemed to really bother him. Just because I hadn’t done it before, didn’t mean that I didn’t know how I effected men. He had already made himself rather clear to me and I wanted to believe that it would muddle things. But what if it didn’t? What if…? I had so many questions and not enough answers.
“Sorry, maybe I should go back to my room. I didn’t mean to make it so that you couldn’t sleep either.”
He sighed loudly. “You don’t even know what it is that you need, do you?”
“No, I guess I don’t.”
“Well, you’re going to be fine, just come here, relax and you will be asleep soon enough.”
It sounded all find and dandy, until he started to pull me into his arms. I didn’t want to like the way he felt, but there was nothing that I could do about it. His arms were around me and I was nestled against his hard chest, before I knew what I was doing. This was all just to make me feel safe and it did. I could feel his heart beating against me from behind and it helped to steady my own racing heart.
The last feeling and memory I had of the night, was how happy he made me feel. I was safe and protected and I know that this relationship was all just happenstance, it didn’t mean that I didn’t want more out of it than ever before.
Chapter 13
Glenn
She was finally asleep, but my night of torture was just beginning. I had been completely asleep when she had first come in. But my time in the military made it impossible for me not to wake up when she entered. I didn’t let her know that I was awake, but I’d watched her through the slits of my eyes. She had stared for quite some time and I have to say that it was humbling to be so interesting to her.
I was confused on how far Liz had went. A week or two ago, I would have thought that she was much like me, sampling what she wanted from a buffet, but now I was starting to think that I had been far more wrong then I realized. She wasn’t worried about anything like that. There was lust in her eyes, but not the beguiling grin I was waiting on. It was the one thing that I was used to with women, but it never came.
Instead, when she’d gotten into the bed with me and the opportunity was there, she’d done nothing. In fact, she had been so nervous that she was trembling hard enough for me to feel it on the other side of the bed. That bothered me. I wanted her lusty and needy, not afraid.
Now I wasn’t sure what to do. I could feel the body heat coming off of her, and I would have been lying, if I would have managed to say with a straight face that I didn’t need to be inside of her, but none of that was going to help me. The only thing that was going to help me, was exactly what I needed. This was not it.
Her smell filled my nostrils and she made small sounds as she shifted in my arms. Liz was already having dreams and they didn’t sound like they were any fun. I held her a little tighter, but I knew that there was nothing I could do. I wanted to take them away from her, pull them right out of her mind, but that was not possible. So, all I could really do was just hold her.
Liz finally settled down and I knew that I had a long night ahead of me. I was thinking about what was going to happen next. We couldn’t stay in Mario’s house forever. We needed something that was more suited to us and even though she had a place next door, I wanted us to have a place big enough all under one roof. When she was working, it would be easier for her and Stephen both, if she could just go from one room to the other. Right now, she wasn’t able to work while the baby was asleep.
My mind was filled with all sorts of ways to make it more comfortable for the both of us. I think I had convinced myself that as long as I could keep her happy, she wouldn’t want to go. This situation as it stood, could only go on for so long. I had to make her want to change it, make it official in other ways.
I I fed Stephen and then he went back to sleep and so did I. It was light outside, so I hadn’t done as well as I should have when it came to time, but that was going to be okay. A few hours was something that I was used to. I didn’t need much sleep.
I disentangled myself from Liz’s grasp when my alarm went off. She just snuggled closer with the sound and I had to pull her arms away. I didn’t want to leave the warmth of the embrace, but I knew that I had to. I had a job that I needed to do and no matter how much I wanted to pretend like the world had stopped for our personal tragedy, it hadn’t. I had patients to see and no matter how badly I wanted to stay home with my little impromptu family, I knew that I couldn’t.
Kissing Liz on the forehead before I left, I studied her face for a moment. She looked like she was in peace and that was the best expression that I could get. I was going to think about her all day, so it was a good image to trap for later.
The thou
ghts that had ran through my head the night before were still there as well. I wanted to find us something that was more our own. Neither place that we had currently would work, but that could change. I could just get us a bigger place and then we can leave these two houses behind. I wanted to be closer to her, in all ways and my first thought was that it would be happen when I got us all under one roof full time.
“It’s good to see you back at the office. I missed how things used to go in here.”
Claudia was on it again and I knew what she wanted, but I wasn’t biting. I had lost my interest in her. It wasn’t her fault of course, it wasn’t mine either, I didn’t like to think anyways. I was going to have to let her down again. This time, I would have more tact. Then maybe she wouldn’t be hurt about it.
“Well, things are just changing Claudia. I am back in the office, but things aren’t going to go like they used to. It wasn’t a good idea and I am going to rectify that now.”
She pouted and I knew that it was the calm before the storm.
“You know, I went out to find some fun Glenn. It was hard to let someone else touch me. It didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I had come in here to do business and to keep things professional, but it was impossible for that to happen with the way she was talking. She wasn’t going to let it happen. All I could think about was Liz and the last thing that I wanted to do, was deal with Claudia. She just didn’t understand anything.
“Good for you Claudia. I am glad you’re getting yourself out there. I knew that it wouldn’t be hard for a woman like you. You’re beautiful and you have much to offer.”
“That’s not what I meant Glenn. I tried to find a replacement for you, but I just couldn’t do it.”
I was confused. I wasn’t sure what it was that she was trying to say.
“Well Claudia, we really need to start letting the patients in. We have a big day and we don’t have time to continue this discussion.”
I was trying to hurry her along, but she wasn’t getting it. She went to the door and locked it. “The patients will wait, they always do. You’re the best in the field and area, so where else would they go?”
Before, I would have jumped at the chance. I would have pulled her scrubs down and slammed into her from behind. There were many surfaces around the office that I could have taken her on, but that’s not what was on my mind today. It was a new day and I was only lusting after the vixen that I shared a bed with last night. Liz was the only one on my mind.
“No Claudia. I mean it. This is done between us. Now please unlock the door and bring the first couple of patients back. I don’t want to discuss this again. No more.”
Now she wasn’t pouting, but she was upset. I could see that there was something on the tip of her tongue, but whatever it was, she decided to go against her urge and said nothing.
Claudia did as I asked, and I breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing that I needed, was for her to make a big mess of things with her attitude. It was hard to ever really know what she was thinking, but I had a feeling that it wasn’t over. She felt miffed and that was going to be something that I was going to pay for later. I could just feel it.
Work kept my mind off of my women troubles. It was nice to have some time that I could think, but soon enough, I was on my way home. I wanted to be there, but there was a part of me that was nervous as hell. Being around Liz for long and having to fight the urge that I am sure every man felt around her, was not easy. It was especially hard when I had a feeling that she wanted it too.
When I got back, the place was empty, and I started to panic a little bit. I didn’t know what was going on. The lights were out, and no one was home. I saw the lights on next door and some music playing. I didn’t like the feeling that came over me. It was a hard one to have and before I knew what I was doing, I was going over to see Liz. I don’t know what I expected to see when I got there, but not this.
“Hey Glenn, come in and have a drink. I didn’t know what time you would be home, but I am glad you’re here now.”
“I got off early, so that we could do some things.”
I was looking around the room. There were four other guys and a couple of women. They were all wealthy by the looks of it, so I assumed that it was some of her friends. I didn’t like her here with all of them and I was pissed that there were other guys there. What were they doing here?
“Oh, well I needed to unwind some. This is certainly not what I expected out of my week.”
“Where is the baby?”
“My mother wanted to take him over night. I think she wants the connection to Mario.”
“And you let her?”
She shrugged. “Yeah, she’s the grandmother. Why not?”
I don’t know what was wrong with me. I could see that all eyes were on me, even if I was trying to focus solely on her. It wasn’t possible.
“Because we’re supposed to do this together! You didn’t even say anything to me, I come home to a dark house…”
I stopped short because I had started to raise my voice. I was in her house, the baby was taken care of, I had no other say in any of it. As much as I liked to believe that she was mine or something like that, she wasn’t. We were connected by the baby and that’s it.
I left and didn’t look back. I was so embarrassed by all of it. I knew that I had just made an ass out of myself and I took a hot shower to relax. I felt a little better when I got, until I saw her sitting on the couch. She had a drink in front of her and I could only imagine this wasn’t going to be good.
“Still running around with that thing swinging, huh?”
“I thought you would be over there.”
She was staring at it and Liz didn’t look like she was offended at all. Hardly. There was a twinkle in her eyes and the bit of alcohol, made her lips a little chattier.
“Well, I am here now.”
“If you’re so offended Liz, you could stop looking.”
“Yeah, I wish I could…”
Her voice trailed off and her baby blue eyes met mine. Now there was desire, but I was still worried about what I’d witnessed next door.
“You are going to leave them over there?”
“No, I sent them home. I am not allowed to have friends over it would seem.”
“It’s not like that.”
“No, you didn’t just get jealous and make a scene?”
I frowned and my lips pressed tightly together. That’s exactly what it was, but that didn’t mean that she had to word it like that.
“It really wasn’t like that Liz.”
“If I wasn’t like that, tell me what it was.”
Shit, she had me there.
Chapter 14
Liz
I don’t know what told me to come home. I should have ignored his little outburst, because he was out of line, but I just couldn’t. I wanted to find out what was going on and now that we had the house to ourselves, I thought it was a good time to really work it out.
“I just was worried about you. I expected you to be here and you weren’t. There was no note, text, call and then I saw you partying over there with all of those guys.”
“They are just friends Glenn. That’s it, though it’s not really any of your business. We can’t live together, raise Stephen together and never get romantically involved with anyone else. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“What if I don’t want you to get involved with anyone else?”
“That’s a lot to ask, don’t you think?”
“Not really. I want to be with you, and I want you to be with me. This all didn’t just happen for no reason. What if there was more to this and we are supposed to be together?”
“That can’t happen.”
“Why not? I know that you want me just as badly as I want you. I can feel it from you every time we’re close. Don’t deny it.”
He was right on all accounts. I did want him, was heavily attracted to him and
that had only gotten stronger since we’d been staying together, but the truth of the matter was, that I was pulled back for many reasons. Number one being I was afraid. If I fell for him or let him know that I was falling, he would surely end up making me out to be crazy like all the other woman.
I had seen his exes and they all wanted him back. It was something that he did to them. I am not sure really what it was, just that I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. All I wanted to worry about, was the next day. The rest was all just too much to take in all at once.
“Whether I like you or not, doesn’t matter. We’re very different and I don’t think you know how much.”
“Yes, you’re living on love. An artist, that has always had a trust fund, I’m a doctor. I am responsible and you’re flaky. Those things don’t matter. We work together.”
“Geez, I meant in other ways. You are a player and I have told you before that I am not. At all. I haven’t even really dated all that much. You’re too experienced for me and I think you would chew me up and spit me out. I see what you do to girls. You make them crazy and I don’t want to be that way for you. It would make it hard for this to work.”
“So, you’re telling me no to it all, because some of my exes were crazy?”
“No, because I don’t date casually. I don’t get intimate with people casually, or at all really. I am inexperienced in all of that and you’re the king. I don’t think it would be a fair match-up.”
“Oh.”
He was sitting next to me on the couch, but now he was frozen where he was. It was almost funny, if it wouldn’t have bothered me so much. I didn’t want to tell him that, but it felt like my only shield, not just from him, but my own desires as well. I needed to be reminded that he was bad news.
“Yeah, oh. So, you see, you don’t have to be jealous. I am not even thinking about any of that. I think you’re hot, you know that, but that’s as far as my mind takes it.”
