Sage
Something big and heavy landed on me, waking me from a dead sleep with a frightening jolt. If whatever had just jumped on me hadn’t knocked the air from my lungs, I would have screamed bloody murder.
I shot up, preparing to launch myself from the bed when I felt something long and wet stroke over my cheek from jaw to temple.
“What the hell?”
Shoving the massive bulk aside, I reached out, feeling around on the table beside me for a light. I clicked the lamp on, blinking to adjust my eyes to the sudden brightness, and turned to find Bear sitting in the middle of the bed, mouth open, tongue lolling out the side.
“Damn it, you scared the hell outta me,” I muttered to the dog in a sleep-rasped voice, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him in for a hug while I tried to calm my racing heart.
That earned me another lick, and as quickly as he’d appeared, he jumped off the bed and trotted right back out again.
Once I could pull in air without my lungs feeling like they were about to explode, I looked over to see Xander’s side of the bed was empty.
The clock on his side said it was only five in the morning. Throwing back the sheet, I climbed from the bed and padded out of the room, stopping at the bathroom to take care of business. I dug through the drawers and medicine cabinet in search of an extra toothbrush, but when I came up empty, I squeezed some toothpaste on my finger and did the best with what I had.
Once done, I splashed water on my face and scrubbed at last night’s mascara and eyeliner that had smudged beneath my eyes while I’d slept. I usually hated to sleep in my makeup, but I’d been so consumed with Xander I hadn’t given my usual skincare routine a second thought.
With that done, I left the bathroom and started down the hall. “Xander?” There was only one lamp on in the living room, illuminating enough of the space for me to see Bear had moved back to the couch and was now dead to the world. “Oh, so you wake me up then go back to sleep? Thanks a lot,” I grumbled, but the dog didn’t move. The lights in the kitchen were burning bright, so I headed in that direction, calling out again, “Xander? You here?”
The room was empty, but I smelled the wonderful aroma of brewed coffee. Following my nose, I found the pot and reached up to open the cabinet above in search of a mug. With the stress of last night, followed by a round of incredible sex, I felt like I’d barely slept. I needed a caffeine boost something fierce.
“Please be good. Please be good,” I chanted as I poured the steaming liquid and brought the mug to my lips. I took my first sip and let out a sigh of gratitude. It wasn’t Muffin Top good, but it sure beat the hell out of anything I could make.
I was standing at the counter, halfway through my first cup, when the back door swung open, giving me the second scare of the morning before the sun had even come up.
I yelped, spinning around so fast I nearly spilled coffee down the front of me.
“Shit,” Xander said, coming through the door. “Sorry, Shortcake. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Holy crap,” I breathed, placing a hand on my chest and pulling in a deep breath. “My heart nearly came out of my chest. I didn’t know you weren’t here.”
He stepped all the way inside and closed the back door. “Should’ve left a note so you didn’t freak. I run in the mornings. Figured I’d be back before you woke up since it’s so early.”
“You . . .” My eyes went big and my mouth opened and closed a few times before I finished. “You’ve been running? On purpose?”
That was when I really took him in, becoming absorbed in staring at all that was Xander. He was dressed in a pair of track pants and a white T-shirt, the damp material clinging to his muscles like a second skin. The ends of his hair were slick with sweat, curling around his neck and collar, and the whole package made me quiver as reminders of how that big, strong body had felt over mine the night before while he fucked me.
“Run every mornin’, baby. Job requires me to be active and in shape.”
“Yeah, but . . .” I looked through the window at the pitch-black outside. “It’s barely after five. How long do you usually run?”
“Usually an hour or ten miles. Whichever comes first.”
“And you do that every morning? Are you out of your mind?”
One side of his mouth ticked up in a tiny smirk. “I take it you’re not a fan of runnin’.”
I drained the rest of my coffee before moving back to the pot for a refill. “Oh no, it’s not just running,” I informed him. “I’m an equal opportunity cardio hater. That’s why you pissed me off so much the morning you stole my scone. I had to chase after you.”
He chuckled, and the sound hit me right between my thighs.
“I thought you’d still be asleep.”
“I would’ve been,” I said with an unhappy frown, “if your dog hadn’t dive-bombed me while I was dead asleep.”
“Bear?” He lifted a single brow. “He got on the bed?”
I sucked back another huge gulp of caffeinated goodness. “More like lunged. Right on my stomach.”
He winced. “Sorry about that. He’s never gotten on the bed before.”
I shot him a smirk from behind my cup. “Well, I guess he likes me more than you.”
He moved closer, his eyes moving down to my bare legs beneath his shirt. He was drinking me in like a man dying of thirst. “Don’t blame him one damn bit.”
In spite of everything that had happened the night before, I suddenly felt nervous as hell.
Ducking my head to break the intense eye contact, I muttered, “Um . . . you make good coffee.”
He kept coming at me, a hungry expression on his face as I backed into the counter and he caged me in, placing his palms on the countertop on either side of my hips. “Glad you approve.”
“I do. I can’t make a decent pot of coffee to save my life.” I continued to ramble in a quiet voice, “Which sucks, seeing as I pretty much live on the stuff. I’m a bit of a coffee addict.”
His teeth flashed beneath his beard in a smile that made my legs feel weak. “You have a Muffin Top coffee cup fused to your hand pretty much all day every day, so I kinda figured that.”
“Yeah, well . . . um, like I said . . . your coffee’s good.”
“And like I said,” he mimicked while dipping his head lower, “I’m glad you approve.”
I felt his breath fan across my cheek and it took everything in me to lean away when he went in for a kiss and blurt, “Xander, we need to talk.”
His head came up, but he didn’t move back. “Talk?”
“Yeah,” I answered nervously, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth and giving it a bite. “About last night.”
He hesitated for a second before saying, “All right. Talk.”
“Um . . .” I looked down at the wide wall of his chest. “Could you maybe . . . step back?”
His scrutinizing gaze felt penetrating as he stared down at me. “Say what you wanna say first. Depending on what it is, maybe then I’ll move.”
God, he really had no intention of making this easy. “Okay, well, um . . . not to get all girly on you and everything, but I kind of need some clarification.”
Those dark-as-midnight brows of his pulled together in a heavy V. “What do you mean?”
“I guess I just need to know what last night was. I’m not against the occasional one-night stand,” I added quickly. “I mean, everyone’s entitled to have a little fun, but we work together, and the last thing I want is for it to get messy.”
“That wasn’t a one-night stand,” he clipped shortly. He remained glued to the spot, apparently not liking what I’d said enough to give me the space I’d requested, which made it even harder for me to breathe since the energy radiating from him was stifling.
“Okay,” I conceded. “Then this is why we need to talk. Tell me what that was, Xander. I feel like I’m two steps behind you here, and I have to tell you, I’m not a big fan of that.”
That got him movi
ng. With a heavy sigh, he took two steps back and rested his behind on the counter opposite me, dragging a hand through his sweaty hair before crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m not sure how to answer that, Sage.”
My belly sank like a stone in water. “How about you give honesty a shot,” I said, my tone touched with sarcasm. “I’m not asking you for anything. It’s not like I’m expecting you to slide a promise ring on my finger or give me your letter jacket. We’re both adults here. I don’t want flowery words or promises you can’t keep. I just want the truth. What did last night mean to you?”
“You want the truth?” he asked, closing the distance between us until we were less than two feet apart. “Fine. Here it is. I’ve been fightin’ this attraction to you since the first goddamn time I laid eyes on you. My gut’s been in knots. I’ve been goin’ out of my mind, and all I know for certain is that last night was the first time in a fuckin’ month I’ve had any relief from all of that.” I felt frozen at his confession, but he wasn’t finished. “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here, Shortcake. All I can tell you is I prefer how I feel right now, standing here in my kitchen, with you wearin’ nothing but my tee to how I’ve been feelin’ since you came into my life.”
Everything he’d just given me slammed into me with the force of a battering ram. “I—” But again, he wasn’t done.
“I like this, right here. Spendin’ time with you in my space, seein’ that you’re just as beautiful when you first wake up in the mornin’ as you were in that red dress that’s been burned onto my goddamn brain. I like that you can make me laugh when I haven’t felt the desire to do just that in years, Sage. You’re the only one who’s given me that. And I want more of it. So, selfish as it is, I’m gonna take it.”
I pulled my lips between my teeth and rubbed them together as goosebumps broke out across my skin. “Um . . .”
“But I got rules.”
The spark that had been growing in my belly, threatening to turn into a full-blown fire, instantly snuffed out at that as I tipped my head to the side and asked incredulously, “Rules?”
“I don’t talk about my past,” he explained unflinchingly. “That’s a deal breaker, Shortcake. I’ll give you what I can, but I can’t give that. It’s not up for debate.”
And there it was. Those demons, those secrets I saw in the backs of his eyes. He wasn’t just living with them, he was holding on to them with a freaking death grip, like they’d keep him buoyed, when the truth was they were what was drowning him. He had no intention of letting them go.
“Can you handle that?” he asked when I’d remained silent for too long.
“I—I don’t know,” I replied, giving him the same honesty he’d just give me.
Reaching up, he took my face in his hands and leaned in. “We can take this one day at a time. No expectations, no promises, just handle each day as it comes.”
That sounded reasonable enough, but I couldn’t ignore the one question still bounding through my head. “And if I can’t handle your rule?”
His fingertips pressed deeper into my skin. Xander pulled in a deep breath while something dark and unpleasant moved across his eyes. “You let me, I can get you there, baby. You put it out of your head and let me make you feel good, I can get you past that doubt.”
“Xander, I don’t think it works that—”
“I need you to give this to me, baby,” he said is a raspy voice. “I got one night, one fuckin’ night, and I already know it’s not gonna be nearly enough. I can’t let you go, not yet, so don’t ask me to.”
I’d already lost myself in one man, and how that ended had left me broken and bleeding. I’d given him absolutely everything, feeding that nearly obsessive emotion I thought was love until all that was me had disappeared, and I’d turned into John’s version of the perfect Sage.
I’d made a promise that I’d never again lose myself in another man. But what scared me the most was that I felt myself falling down the same rabbit hole all over again. Everything I was currently feeling for Xander was a million times stronger than what I’d felt for John before I realized he wasn’t who he’d made me believe him to be.
And that terrified me.
I’d survived John. I’d picked myself up and glued all those broken pieces back together. But I knew down to my very soul, if my feelings for him were already this consuming, there was no chance I’d survive Xander Caine if I allowed myself to fall deeper.
“Xander,” I whispered, grabbing his shirt at his waist and fisting the material, feeling the same desperation that he was staring down at me with. “You realize everything you just said is so far from normal it’s not even funny, right? What you’re asking . . . it doesn’t feel healthy. It feels really fucking dangerous.”
“You’re the first person who’s made me feel alive in more than eight years,” he whispered, and at that confession, any resolve I’d been holding on to slipped right through my fingers. “I’m beggin’ you, baby, don’t take that away from me. Not now.”
Denying what he was asking wasn’t hard. It was impossible.
“Okay, Xander. One day at a time.”
His whole body sagged in relief, letting me know just how much my answer meant to him.
A second later, his lips were on mine.
And for better or worse, I was lost.
Chapter Eighteen
Xander
Christ, I’d never felt anything as good as her. Never heard sounds as hot and beautiful as the ones she made while I drove into her tight, slick pussy.
“God, Xander,” she groaned, arching her spine and tipping her ass higher so she could take me deeper.
What had started as a hard, brutal kiss in the kitchen had morphed just like our kisses the night before had. We’d gone wild as soon as our lips connected. I’d stripped my tee off her and ripped her panties clean in half before lifting her up and setting her on the counter so I could drop to my knees and do something I’d been dreaming of doing for a month.
I’d buried my face between her legs and ate her like I’d been starved to the point of ravenous. And, fuck me, but she tasted like the sweetest honey. I’d toyed with her clit and fucked her with my tongue until she came in my mouth.
Listening to her, tasting her, smelling her was enough to drive me crazy. I’d pulled her off the counter and positioned her just as I wanted her before taking off to my room for a condom. And when I walked back into the kitchen to find her still bent over the counter with her ass in the air just as I left her, I snapped.
Which led to now.
All that long, wild mahogany hair swept across her back as she looked over her shoulder at me. The look she gave me—her lids at half mast, those deep brown eyes glazed over—made my cock swell, and I had to fight back the need to come before I got her there.
“Your pussy feels too good,” I grunted as I pounded into her. “Need you to get there, baby.”
“Fuck me harder,” she gasped, her eyes rolling back as her fingers white-knuckled the edge of the counter. “Wanna feel you as deep as you can get.”
“Jesus,” I rasped, her words pushing me even closer to the edge.
Reaching down, I hooked her left knee over my arm and lifted her leg up, spreading her even wider.
“Fuck, yes!” she shouted as I started thrusting harder. “Just like that, Xander. God, yes. I’m gonna come.”
Just like that, her neck snapped back, all that hair swinging as she reared back into me and came on a sharp, keening cry.
With the sound of my name on her lips and the feel of her cunt squeezing me, I was done for. Pulling out, I spun her around and took her to the ground. Grabbing the backs of her thighs, I lifted her legs high and wide and drove back in, sitting back on my haunches so I could watch as my cock, glistening with her release, surged in and out. A second later I was following after her, groaning as I poured myself into the condom. My orgasm set another one off in her and her body locked tight, her lips parting on a silent mo
an as I gave her the third climax of the morning.
It was something I’d never experienced before, coming together with a woman, and I had to say I did not hate it.
I knew after our first time that she was the best I’d ever had, but this time was even better, something I hadn’t thought possible.
Just like she didn’t hold back in life, Sage let it all lay bare when it came to sex, shaking off any inhibitions so she could get everything possible out of the act.
Releasing her legs, I fell forward, catching myself on my forearms on the cold tile floor.
“Shit,” I hissed as I came down. “You’re somethin’ else, Shortcake.”
She let out a small, breathless giggle. “You’re not so bad yourself, big guy.”
With a chuckle of my own, I lowered myself enough so I could brush her lips with mine, slowly slipping my tongue inside when she opened for me. After a short, languid kiss, I pushed back up so I could meet her sated gaze. “You got off three times, all before six in the mornin’. I’d say I’m a lot fuckin’ better than not so bad.”
“Okay,” she relented with a giggle. “You’re outstanding. Happy now?”
“Ecstatic,” I replied, feeling my lips split into a wide grin.
“Damn, you look good when you smile.” She sighed, reaching up and rubbing the corner of my mouth with her thumb before slipping her fingers into my beard and giving it a tug. “And I love this. Feels incredible between my thighs.”
A rumble slid up my throat as my cock began to stir. “Keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna have to fuck you again.”
She pulled her kiss-swollen bottom lip between her teeth and bit it while her gaze turned contemplative. She finally let it go with an unhappy sigh. “As much as I’d like that, I really need you to take me back to my car. I have to get home. I need to shower and get ready for work.”
“Shower here,” I said quickly, surprising myself by the offer. Everything I’d done in the past ten hours was completely out of character. I’d never let a woman sleep over, and I’d sure as hell never invited them to use my shower, but the thought of Sage leaving made my gut sink. I didn’t have a goddamn clue what I was doing, other than acting on instinct, and being with her made me feel so good I wanted to drag it out as long as possible. “I’ll take one with you. It’ll save time and give me the chance to finger fuck you before we get out. Win-win.”
Out of the Darkness: a Hope Valley novel Page 14
