Worth The Fight

by Rachael Brownell

  After knocking twice, I step back and stand next to Liam, taking his hand for support. He gives mine a light squeeze when we hear the dead bolt disengage. Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly as the door opens.

  And then I come face to face with Garrett, in only his boxers. He's scrubbing his hand up and down his unshaven face. When he opens his eyes, the shock mimics my own, I'm sure.

  "Who is it, baby?" I hear Kendra ask sweetly from deep inside the apartment. "Garrett?"

  "Go ahead, baby. Tell her you have company," I say through gritted teeth as I push my way past him and inside.

  Chapter Seven

  Garrett's shock is compounded when he notices I haven't released Liam's hand. He looks between the two of us, and his features slowly take on a new look.

  Murderous.

  "I knew it. The entire time we were together, you two were sneaking around behind my back. You little slut," he screams.

  Liam's hand goes slack, but I tighten my grip. Not because I need his support. Not even because I want Garrett to think we're together. I don't release his hand because what we’re doing isn't wrong. It's never been wrong. We've never crossed the line of friendship, and deep down, Garrett knows that.

  "Who's a slut?" Kendra asks, walking into the room as she wraps a silk robe around her body. "Oh!"

  There's humor in her eyes when she finally looks in my direction.

  "I see you've moved on," she states, sashaying past Garrett, dragging her nails across his bare chest. "So have we."

  She's trying to get to me, and it's working. For reasons unrelated to her touching Garrett, even though that's what she'll think, I want to take her by the neck and strangle the life out of her.

  I can’t let her rattle me before I say what I need to so I take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and try to regain my composure.

  "You can't really call it moving on if you never stopped wanting each other." My voice is strong, but words fail me. There are so many other things I could have said but didn't.

  "I can't help it if he preferred me over you. I guess you couldn't satisfy him the way I can," Kendra replies, raising an eyebrow at me in challenge.

  "He wasn't the one leaving the bedroom unsatisfied in our relationship, I was," I retort, immediately regretting my words.

  No. Fuck that.

  It might have been a lie, but I shouldn't care about hurting his feelings.

  "Why are you here?" Garrett chimes in, taking a step away from Kendra.

  "Kendra owes me an explanation."

  "For what?" she asks, feigning stupidity.

  "You can start with why you were fucking my fiancé an hour before my wedding, and we'll go from there." My words and confidence are stronger this time.

  "Well, let’s see . . ." She takes a seat on the arm of the couch, her robe separating far enough to show she's not wearing anything underneath it. Garrett takes notice and reaches to cover her, but she shoos him away. Liam is either oblivious or doesn't care. "It all started when you dumped him. He was broken, and I was here to help him pick up the pieces of his heart. We had a pretty good thing going until you showed back up. Then again, you being here didn't really stop us from having fun."

  "Kendra," Garrett scolds, but all that does is bring a devious smile to her face.

  It doesn't stop her from confirming the worst of what we already knew.

  "What you don't know can't hurt you, right? So we kept our dirty little secret under wraps. You were so oblivious it made it that much more fun for me. Screwing him in his tux, moments before he was due at the altar to marry you, was the icing on the cake for me."

  "And you knew I would come looking for you. You knew I would see everything and leave him. You planned everything down to the last detail so you could have him all to yourself."

  I keep my statements clear and concise. For my sake, not hers. I'm stating facts and leaving all my emotions out of them.

  "Of course. He didn't want to marry you, but he didn't know how to tell you. He knew you found the ring. What was he supposed to do at that point?"

  My engagement ring.

  I’d found it hidden in the back of his nightstand when I was searching for a phone charger one afternoon. We were packing to go out of town for the weekend, and I was frantically searching the drawer. When I came across the tiny square box, my hands began to shake.

  Garrett walked in as I was opening it. I remember the gasp that escaped his lips and assumed it meant he was freaking out because I’d found it. He quickly got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It was the happiest moment of my life.

  I never imagined the ring wasn't meant for me.

  Never thought for a second that he had bought it for anyone else.

  "Oh, she didn't know." Kendra pouts, her voice filled with joy she can't hide. "Sorry to break it to you, but he bought that for me. He was trying to figure out how to tell you he wanted to break up when you found it. That weekend away . . . it wasn't meant to be a celebration. He was going to call things off."

  We should never have come here.

  I didn't need to know any of this. It makes things hurt ten times more than before.

  Liam gives my hand a squeeze, reminding me that he's here and has my back. It's all I need to press forward. To square my shoulders and stand up for myself.

  "Thank you, Kendra."

  "Excuse me?" Her genuine confusion is adorable.

  I should be angry right now. Filled with rage. And to an extent, I am. I'm also grateful. I'm relieved. I'm hurt. But, at the end of the day, I could be even more hurt. I could have married him and never have known what was happening behind my back.

  In a way, she saved me from a future filled with lies and betrayal. I'm going to have to explain that to her because in her mind, she's fucked me over. In reality, that's not what really happened.

  "Thank you."

  "What the hell for?"

  "For everything. For fucking Garrett at the church. For being the worst friend I could have asked for. For taking what you want in life without concern for anyone else's feelings. You saved me from making a huge mistake. From marrying a man that wasn't who I thought he was. From a future that would have been the opposite of what I pictured. Thank you for taking him off my hands. I deserve better. Better friends and a better man in my life. Coming here confirms that."

  Moving toward the door, I'm stopped in my tracks when Liam pulls me back to him. When I look over my shoulder, I find him glancing between Kendra and Garrett, both of whom are still processing my words judging by the looks on their faces.

  "Apologize to her," he demands. "You owe her that at the very least."

  "Let's just go, Liam," I whisper, tugging on my hand to free it from his, but he won't release me.

  "Apologize," he says again, his voice growing deeper, more pointed.

  There have been only a handful of times I've seen Liam this angry. The vein in the side of his neck is pulsing, and the usually smooth features of his face are set in stone right now.

  If I were to see him like this and not know him, I would run. He looks homicidal. Add that to his height and build and Liam becomes a guy you don't want to mess with.

  Probably why Garrett was the first to speak up.

  "I'm sorry, Cassidy. I should have been honest with you and treated you better."

  Too little too late, but I nod my acceptance at him anyway.

  "Kendra," Liam growls.

  "I'm not apologizing. I don't regret anything I did. I'm not sorry she was too blind to see the truth. Maybe she'll learn from her mistakes, maybe not. If she's fucking you, she hasn't learned anything yet. From one man whore to another."

  My hand connects with her face, the sound echoing through the room, before I can comprehend how I even got across the room.

  "Go to hell," I growl as she rubs her reddened cheek.

  So much for keeping my cool. I was trying so hard to be the bigger person. To accept the facts, as much as they hurt, and move on. Calli
ng Liam a man whore was the final straw. There was no reason to pull him into this fight. He's done nothing to deserve it unless protecting me is somehow a bad thing.

  Slamming the door behind me, I don't bother to wait for Liam. The weight of everything hits me at once. Adrenaline is pumping through my body, and my hand stings from slapping Kendra. Still, I can't breathe. I need fresh air.

  The pressure building in my chest is overwhelming.

  I rush down the steps, then burst through the door to Kendra's apartment building and collapse in the grass, my legs giving out.

  What the fuck just happened?

  Not only have I been living a lie for years, but I just smacked the one person was who supposed to be my best friend. She deserved it. She's a lying, cheating bitch, but I still can't believe I did it.

  And fucking Garrett. What a bastard. How in the hell did I not realize what was going on? I was living with him. It felt like we spent all our free time together. When did he find the time to sneak away with Kendra?

  And why didn't he just tell me he wasn't in love with me anymore?

  Was he planning on marrying me and playing pretend for the rest of his life?

  Lying there, attempting to calm my racing heart and let the events of the last few minutes sink in, I wait for Liam to emerge. When he doesn't, I push to my feet and look up to Kendra's apartment. The lights are all off now. He can't still be there.

  Unless he killed them both and is making it look like an accident.

  Not likely, but it's fun to imagine not having to ever run into them again.

  Where the hell is he?

  "Behind you," I hear him say as I stare at the darkened apartment.

  "How did you get out here?" I ask without turning around. My eyes are glued to her bedroom window.

  "I went out the other side of the building to give you a few minutes to yourself. I figured you'd need it."

  He was right. I needed a minute to process everything. To take it all in.

  "Ready to go home?" His voice is closer than I was anticipating, so when he wraps his arms around me, I jump slightly, bumping against his chest. Instead of releasing me, he holds me there.

  "Yeah." My reply is weak.

  It's not really home. Sure, I live there right now, but home is where your heart is. It's where you feel most comfortable. It's the one place you can escape when the world around you is falling apart.

  Liam's apartment is my escape but only temporarily.

  And that's fine.

  Now that I know everything, now that I have answers, hopefully the healing process will begin. I'll be able to move on. I'll be able to pick myself up and start over.

  Get my own place.

  Find someone to share my life with eventually.

  It won't be easy, but nothing worth anything is.

  My father used to say that it had to be worth the fight. If it wasn't, let it go.

  It's time to let Garrett and Kendra go. They're not worth it.

  I forced him to stop.

  It's becoming a habit. A bad one. I know this, yet I still made him stop.

  "Cass," Liam starts as I pull down two glasses, setting them on the counter with a thump.

  He's been trying to get me to talk to him since we pulled into the liquor store. He won't accept that there's nothing to talk about. I want a drink. I want to numb the pain for a few hours. Something to take the edge off so I can sleep more than twenty minutes. I need the flashback to stop playing over and over again in my mind.

  And after tonight’s revelations, I have a feeling there will be even more flashbacks. Memories that once held a special place in my heart that now have new meaning.

  "Listen. If you want to be a good friend, you'll have a drink with me," I state firmly, handing him a glass filled to the brim with dark liquid. He stares at it, weighing his options for a moment before taking it and sipping down a good portion of it. "Now, if you're done guilt-tripping me, let's find something to watch."

  Moving past him and into the living room, I snatch the remote off the arm of the couch, then settle at the opposite end while the TV comes to life. Setting my glass on the table, I pull the blanket from the back of the couch and wrap it around me.

  I still haven't changed out of my dress from earlier. I tried, but I need help with the zipper again. Liam is the only one who can help me, and I was avoiding talking to him when we came home from the party.

  Liam joins me on the couch a few minutes later, having changed into sweats and a hoodie. The one I bought him as a high school graduation gift. It's faded now, the lettering practically unreadable, but I know what it used to proudly state.

  It was his first university sweatshirt. He has a handful of them now, but this is my favorite of his. Maybe because it's the one I gave him or the fact he still wears it. Either way, it brings a smile to my face to see him in it.

  I'm instantly jealous at how comfortable he looks.

  "Can you help me with my zipper?" I ask, standing and turning my back to him so he doesn't have a choice.

  Giving it a few tugs, I hear Liam muttering to himself under his breath. When I look back to see what he's doing, his eyes are squinted and he's inspecting the back of my dress.

  "What's wrong?"

  "I think it's broken. It won't budge." He tugs at the zipper, catching me off guard, and I fall backward, landing in his lap with an umph.

  "You know, if you wanted to sit in my lap, all you had to do was ask," he jokes as I push myself up.

  "Haha. Get me out of this damn dress." I turn my head as far as I can to see if I can see the problem.

  "Can you pull it over your head?"

  His suggestion makes me laugh. He's been around girls well enough to know how dresses work. You either step into them and pull them up or they pull over your head. They don't generally do both.

  This dress, as tight as it is on my bodice and breasts, is not going to pull over my head. I stepped into it, and I'd like to step out of it. With the zipper intact, preferably, so I can wear it again. It's one of my favorites.

  Shooting him a look that perfectly answers his question, Liam goes back to work on my zipper. Five minutes later I'm getting bored and tired of waiting. My mind is starting to wander, and it's headed in the direction I'm trying to avoid.

  Kendra and Garrett land.

  Not somewhere I want to visit again tonight or ever.

  Reaching over, I snag my glass from the table and down it. I hear Liam grunt his disapproval. Instead of apologizing, which is what he wants me to do, I pick up his glass from where he set it next to mine and down his as well.

  That's when he stands, turns me to face him, and places one hand on either side of my face.

  "You're better than this, Cass. You don't need to drown your sorrow at the bottom of a bottle."

  I see the fear in his eyes. The worry.

  His baby blues, usually bright and sparkling have turned cloudy. I can see a dozen shades of blue running fathoms deep surrounding a hint of hazel. There's a depth to his stare that I can feel deep within my soul. It's crushing yet filled with hope and something else.

  Something I don't recognize.

  A feeling that's suddenly consuming me.

  "You will get through this," he continues. "I'll be here every step of the way. You don't have to do this alone."

  Tears begin to well up in my eyes.

  Maybe it's the alcohol or the events of the evening, but either way, I can feel every emotion in my body working its way to the surface, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

  "No tears," he says, wiping away the one stray that managed to escape with his thumb. "You're stronger than you realize, Cass."

  Liam's hands slowly move, my skin pebbling as they make their way from my face down to my hips. Blinking back the tears, my mind goes numb when I feel his grip tighten around my waist. The look in his eyes, the depth to his stare, has my heart pounding in my chest.

  And then it happens.

  In one swift
motion, Liam tears my dress.

  "You're free," he whispers, his eyes locked on mine.

  Free.

  From my dress.

  Trapped by his stare.

  Chapter Eight

  Splashing water on my face does nothing to cool the heat in my cheeks.

  What have I done?

  I'm not even sure what possessed me to do it.

  Maybe I can blame it on the alcohol. Even though I wasn't even buzzed yet.

  Or the fact he’d just manhandled me, practically ripping my dress from my body.

  After all these years, I've never once felt the desire for Liam that's coursing through my body right now. Sure, there have been moments we've embraced. We used to kiss each other all the time as kids, practicing for when we'd have our first 'real' kiss.

  And once we’d both had our first kiss, the practicing stopped.

  We never even spoke about it. It just didn't happen again. I don't even remember the last time we kissed. We were twelve, maybe thirteen, I think.

  Scratch that.

  Twenty-six.

  Because something inside me made me push up on my tiptoes and kiss him on the lips ten minutes ago. Something inside me wanted to kiss him. Wanted to see how it felt.

  And it scares me that it wasn't the alcohol.

  "Knock, knock." Liam's voice echoes through the bathroom as I continue to stare at myself in the mirror. "You okay in there?"

  Why wouldn't I be? I mean, it's not like I kissed my best friend, my roommate, and then ran away like the way it made me feel scared the shit out of me.

  Oh, wait.

  That's exactly what happened.

  As soon as I felt his hands release my dress and move up my back, I stepped out of our awkward embrace and ran down the hall. I've been in the bathroom ever since, my dress hanging loosely from my body.

  "Cass, I grabbed you a t-shirt and yoga pants," he states, jiggling the door handle. "Want to let me in?"

  "I'll be out in a minute," I reply, staring at the door in the reflection of the mirror.

  "Why are you lying to me?" There's a hint of humor in his voice. He's trying to lighten the mood, and I appreciate it, but it doesn't make it any easier to face him right now.