Stir Until Petrified

by Theda Vallee

  “Lover’s driven together by someone’s bidding,

  Let the fire bring out what is hidden.

  Sweet desire and a passions fan,

  Let this light lead us to someone’s plan.”

  Passing the cloth over the fire three times she sprinkled salt over the flame. The fire sparked turning an electric blue.

  “If forced beyond nature's leading,

  Let this knot continue kneading.

  Holding fast the spell that binds,

  Venus will remove the mask of lies.

  Show us now where the truth lay,

  Is this another witch’s play?”

  With that the candle flashed purple and blazed up. The hair around the cloth caught fire burning away. Nerina grabbed the water bottle on the nightstand quickly dousing the flames. Hopefully that told us something because if not there was a soggy, ashen mess on my nightstand for nothing.

  “Well?’

  “The hair burned.” She frowned.

  “I can see that. What does that mean?” I asked wiping the mess up with the towel from my hair.

  “It means whatever’s happening between you guys isn’t being driven by a spell. I don't get it.” She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes scrunched in contemplation.

  “Well, I don't get it either. I don't do things like that. I have a feeling Luc doesn't either. What can we do to figure this out? I'm really not ok with this,” I said feeling the shadow of panic creep up. Having some weird hyper lust connection with my new boss was one thing too many on my plate.

  “I’ll do some research to see what I can find. In the meantime, we can get you a chastity belt or something.”

  “How about you hook me up with a magical chastity belt? I need an anti-love spell or anti-sex spell or something to keep my panties on next time I’m alone with him. I have a feeling if we’re working together this is going to get tricky really fast.”

  “I can’t give you an anti-sex or anti-love spell. Those are negatives and will only attract negative effects. You know these things. You’re just going to have to deal until I can figure this out,” Nerina explained putting away her tools like this was just over.

  “Great. I’ll just add it the list of things I have to accept now.” I punctuated my sentence with a long draw on my jar of wine. It was time for Nerina to leave. It wanted to throw myself a pity party. My family had clearly come to the end of their rope with me. I was stuck being a horny Osservatori on my own.

  “Etta, we’ve all had a few days from hell. Nonna’s bruised up pretty bad, she’s acting fine, but I know she’s having a hard time moving around. Aunt Sophia’s been having nightmares since we were arrested. Gia hasn't slept in days taking care of her. She doesn't hate you, she just needs sleep.”

  “And what about you?” I whispered.

  “I’m a little banged up but I didn't lose you, so things could’ve been a lot worse. Look, we aren’t saying this is no big deal. I think everyone was just trying some tough love. We’re afraid you’re going to buckle under the weight of this, and not be able to keep going. I was afraid it was one thing too much. Maybe we overplayed that a little?” She said biting her lip as she contemplated.

  What kind of monster was I? I knew that they’d all been arrested. Why didn't it occur to me that they’d be just as traumatized as I was? Maybe more. I hadn't asked a lot of questions about what happened to them while they were in custody. They hadn't offered much in the way of details either. What if it was so horrific that they couldn't bear to recount it?

  “I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you went through. I'm so selfish to not even think about that. All I could think about was coming home, and then everyone was acting like I should just deal with this. It never even hit me that we were all trying to cope with what happened.” I tipped the bottle of wine over my glass refilling it to the brim. I was going to need a lot more of this to drown the layers of sorrow and regret I’d piled on today.

  Nerina polished off her glass as well and popped open another bottle. I had no idea she’d brought more than one, but I sure as hell was glad she did. “For tonight let’s forget all this horrible shit, let’s finish this bottle of wine and pretend that everything is amazing and perfect in our world.”

  “OK. What do you want to talk about?” I smiled at her indulgently. I was the big sister. I was supposed to take care of her, not the other way around.

  “Funny you should ask. I had a lot of time to think while we were in prison. I wanted to have a backup plan, in case we needed to support ourselves on the run, or if the bakery closed. I came up with a brilliant idea” She was unable to keep her body from vibrating with excitement.

  “Do I even want to hear this?”

  “Oh, you want to hear this! If the bakery shuts down and the Osservatori doesn't work out, we’re going on tour. You and I are going to be a karaoke pole-dancing duo!” She almost shouted the last few words in her enthusiasm.

  “I don’t even know what that is. Is that a thing? Nobody is going to pay money to watch me clumsily hang on a pole while trying to sing a song,” I slurred. The wine was finally catching up to me.

  “You’re so wrong! Look at us we’re clexy as shit. We have big butts. I know how to shake mine. You can just jiggle yours a little and it’ll shake. We could totally be amazing. I hear you sing in the kitchen. It doesn't sound like the worst thing ever. I know I sing good. We can be special guests at all the clubs across the United States and Europe. O-M-G we could be called the Massoni Shaker Sisters. Catchy, right?” She drooled a little at the end of her sentence. The wine had clearly caught up with her as well.

  “No. All of that is no. I don’t know what was going on your head that made you think that was a good idea, but you need to put your rump shaking dreams on hold. I think we’ve got a few years before we need to consider alternative careers.” I tried not to laugh at the earnest expression on her face.

  “Never! The Massoni Shaker Sisters will be coming to a town near you,” Nerina said as she jumped up onto my bed, shaking her butt up and down. She moved closer to me until her rear was in my face gyrating. I did the only thing I could think of in my buzzed stupor to get her to stop. I bit her bum. Hard. She yowled with pain. I doubled over with laughter. “BITCH!” She grabbed a pillow off the bed flailing away in my direction with wild abandon. I grabbed her foot and started tickling. Nothing crippled Nerina faster than her ticklish feet. She struggled against my grip while I tickled her mercilessly, until we were both out of breath, laughing like we had when we were little girls.

  “I love you” She gasped in between breaths. “I don't know how I would’ve lived if anything had happened to you.”

  “I love you too.” I grabbed her hand. As we drifted off to sleep with our hair tangled together on the pillows and our hands intertwined I smiled feeling at peace. This was exactly how we’d always slept as children. It felt like home.

  Chapter

  10

  My hands dug into the sticky pile of dough. I let me mind go blank as muscle memory took over. Mindless dough beating was a surefire way to release the pent-up feelings that threatened to overtake me. The anger, pain, and fear from the last week channeled into my fists, manifesting in the smacks and thuds I doled out to the mixture in front of me. It felt good. Secretly I imagined the dough having the faces of everyone who’d made my shit list. It wasn’t the first time I’d practiced this exercise, but it was the first time I’d added to the list in a long time.

  First there was Luc. I pounded him into obscurity with the palms of my hands, crushing his beautiful features into oblivion. I used my thumbs to gouge out his doughy eyes, immune to the smoldering look he threw in my direction.

  One by one, every member of the Osservatori council who I was certain had wanted me to die appeared in the pale surface of my dough. Elf boy received a smackdown. Vampire bitch was pummeled into her second death. I had no idea how Pietro voted, but I smashed his face too. Each time a face appeared it was crushed beneath my deft b
lows. In life I was helpless against these people, but this was my realm. Here I was powerful. Here I could make them pay for the bullshit they’d brought into my life. It was so satisfying.

  Just when I thought I’d cycled through all the face bashing fantasies possible, I realized I’d forgotten one very important person. Leontyne. That bitch was heartless. She’d been ready to grind my family into the dust for whatever glory it would muster for her in the Osservatori. If anyone needed a dough beat down it was her! Making my hand into a fist, I conjured the perfect symmetry of her face in the pockets of dough. My fist sunk into her face with what could only be described as glee. Granted, I had the joy of magic punching her already, but it was not nearly as satisfying as using my real hand to inflict the damage. As she crumpled under my assault a shrill scream emanated from her slowly disappearing mouth.

  I dropped the dough like it had suddenly become venomous. My hands trembled as I eyed it warily. What the hell had just happened? The rational side of my brain butted in before full panic could set in. It was nothing. Between lack of sleep and severe anxiety, I was letting my imagination get carried away.

  I scooped the concoction up smacking it back into the light dusting of flour. Leontyne’s eyes bore back up at me from the folds. I wasn’t imagining her face on purpose this time. At least not consciously. I shook my head trying to clear the image. Perhaps my brain had finally overloaded. A person can only sustain so much trauma before they snap, right? I closed my eyes, counting to ten. I opened one eye a sliver. She was still there! My eyes popped open as dread seeped through me. What was going on?

  Leontyne opened her mouth letting out another ear splintering scream. I cradled the dough gingerly in my hands loathe to touch it, as it kept emitting the horrific sound. It was almost as obnoxious as the flesh and blood Leontyne. I opened the lid to the garbage can tossing in the clearly tainted ball of ingredients. Nonna was going to kill me when she saw a perfectly good lump of dough sitting in the trash, but what was I supposed to do? It was screaming at me.

  Unfortunately, the trash can did nothing to contain the horrific noise. If anything, it was now echoing throughout the kitchen. I covered my ears trying to figure out what to do.

  From upstairs, I heard the faint echo of someone calling my name. The screaming Leontyne trash can made it impossible to be certain but it sounded like Nerina. I thought she’d gone to church with everyone else. I turned to head up the stairs but to my shock, Nerina stood right next to me. Her eyes glazed over in terror. She opened her mouth and the same piercing scream that had been coming from Leontyne erupted from her. Her mouth stretched open, unhinging like a snake preparing to swallow its prey. I tried to scream but it was stuck in my throat. I wanted to run, but my body felt rooted to the ground.

  “Oh, my god. Etta. Wake up and answer your stupid phone!”

  My eyes popped open to find my cell phone dangling precariously above my face. Nerina’s hand had a tenuous hold on it in her half woke state. My heart rapped against my rib cage like an electrically charged hummingbird. The window to my room was open allowing the cool ocean breeze in, yet I was covered in sweat. I’d been having a damn nightmare. About kneading dough. Even my nightmares were lame.

  I snatched the phone from Nerina, staring groggily at the display. Luc? My brain slowly registered the time. It was two twenty-seven. The middle of the freaking night. I’d been home for less than fifteen hours, asleep for less than four hours, and he was already harassing me. I was not answering the phone. He could tell me whatever he needed to tomorrow. I unlocked the screen prepared to set my ringer to silent. I deserved a full night's sleep in my own bed damn it! My finger froze as I saw that I’d five missed calls from him and multiple texts. Clearly this was urgent. Or he was drunk dialing me. If he was drunk dialing me, I was going to smack him upside his perfectly coiffed blond head the next time I saw him.

  “What the hell do you want?” I snarled into the phone.

  “Rise and shine, sunshine. We have another victim,” Luc purred into my ear. How the hell did he sound so awake?

  “Great. You can tell me all about it later, after the sun comes up.”

  “Sorry, but you’re coming along for the ride. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Be ready.”

  “Ready for what? I have to get up in a few hours to start the ovens for the bakery. I don't have time to be ready for anything,” I snapped.

  “Etta, you’re an Osservatori. This is your job now.”

  I jolted up in bed, as the words settled over me. This was my job now. For some reason I’d thought I’d still get to work in the bakery during my training period. I hadn't expected to start today. “I haven't even had an orientation! I haven’t had any training! Isn't there a rule about taking people in the field before they even know what the hell they’re doing?”

  “Seven minutes.” Luc ended the call without saying goodbye.

  Shit! Shit! Shit! This was my job now! I ran to the closet, ripping it open in a panic. What did you wear to your first day as an Osservatori? Did it matter? Had there been a section in the handbook about a dress code? I couldn't remember, and I didn't have time to look it up thanks to jerk face Luc. I grabbed the first two articles of clothing that looked like they’d go together. A pair of faded jeans that were snug but clean and a gray sweatshirt with the Palermo Bay University logo. I tossed my hair into a ponytail, not having time to do anything else with it.

  Nerina would need to get up to start the ovens. That was not going to go over well. We had a hard-enough time waking her up to man the register when we opened at seven. I flipped the lights on without trying to wake her gently. She pulled the covers over her head hissing at me like a vampire. “What the hell is wrong with you? Turn the light off. Who the hell was calling you at this time of night? It’s freaking rude when people are trying to sleep.”

  “Who do you think? The bane of my existence, Luc,” I said searching through my drawer for a pair of socks.

  “What does he want? Why are you dressed? Are you going for a booty call?” Nerina asked, suddenly becoming alert at the exciting possibility.

  “No. Gross. Listen, this is important. I have to go. There’s another victim in the case. Luc’s coming to pick me up. You’re going to have to get up and start the ovens.”

  “Are you serious? I can’t! Why can’t you just do it when you get back?” she complained pulling the covers down to peek at me.

  “Because I have to go look at the victim of a strega attack at two in the morning after sleeping four freaking hours. I think you guys better look to hire someone tomorrow. I have a feeling I’m not going to be doing much at the bakery anymore.”

  I sunk down onto the edge of the bed as the realization hit me. I’d never imagined a time when I wasn't working at the bakery. My future had always centered around finding Carina and raising her here. I’d envisioned her learning how to create the confections that were our livelihood, just like I’d learned from my mother and grandmother. She’d spend her days doing homework in the kitchen with the smells of bread surrounding her. Her evenings would be spent around the table eating pasta and laughing. Life for us was simple, but it was good. Instead, she was going to come home to a mother that was running off to see bodies in the middle of the night. That didn't fit into the fantasy I had of how to be an ideal mother. Aside from my imagined reunion with my daughter being ruined, what was life going to be like for Nerina and Nonna? How were they going to run this place without me? I was abandoning them and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  My phone buzzed. Luc was outside, threatening to come in if I wasn’t out the door in one minute. I’d thought he was an asshole before he was my boss. My first day as his employee and he was already trying to set a record.

  Nerina peaked out from under the blanket again, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “This is all really happening, isn't it? For some reason I hoped we’d wake up today and everything would go back to how it was.”

  “It’s never goin
g to be how it was. I have to go. Luc threatened to come in and drag me out. I love you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I mustered a smile before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

  “Be safe,” she whispered, her bottom lip trembling.

  I turned around quickly heading for the stairs. If she started crying, I’d lose my nerve and Luc would end up hauling my ass to the car, kicking and screaming. At the very least I wanted to start this stupid job with a modicum amount of dignity.

  “You’re damn impatient. You can’t give a girl a freaking minute to get her life together on her first case?” I griped as I opened the door and slid into his Porsche. His toothy grin was the only reply. He seemed excited to be up in the middle of the night to examine victims. “So where are we going?”

  “Saint Elizabeth’s. A young girl was brought in comatose. She’d been asleep on the couch next to her mother when her body seized up and started convulsing. Her mother was unable to wake her. Once she was brought into the emergency room our doctor was able to examine her, and confirmed she is our sixteenth victim. She’s been moved to the quarantine ward with everyone else.”

  “How were you able to get them quarantined? Do the people at the hospital know about us? I thought only high government officials knew we existed?” I asked stifling a yawn.

  “Our man on the inside provided some pretty convincing evidence that the victims were all suffering from some version of bacterial meningitis. That can be very contagious, so they were quarantined, and the CDC has been working with the good doctor to crack the mystery.”

  “So, the CDC knows about us?”

  “No. We’re posing as the CDC. Come on, Etta, keep up. Maybe you did need an orientation?” he quipped.

  “This is my first day. Don’t be a dick.” I stuck my tongue out at him, too tired for any real anger.