Elizabeth Bennet's Impertinent Letter

by J P Christy

  “It was a great adventure, and the plan would have worked had Mr. Collins not interfered.”

  “How did he find out?” Kitty wondered.

  “I’ve no idea. At first, he thought I was Elizabeth. Then he told Mr. Darcy not to elope with me, saying I was ‘the most vulgar of my cousins’! Then Mr. Darcy punched his face.”

  “Mr. Collins deserves much worse,” Mary said.

  “And he shall have it. It seems he rode to Bishop’s barn on Sir William’s new stallion, and that is the very horse Wickham stole for his escape. Imagine what Sir William will say when he returns from Brighton and learns of this!”

  “Lydia,” Mr. Bennet said, “I am told you apologized to Miss Darcy and Mr. Darcy at the supper after the assembly.”

  “I did, Papa, and they were quite nice in their forgiveness.”

  “Is your improvement temporary, or do you believe you have matured at least a little.”

  “I hope more than a little,” Lydia said; upon seeing Mr. Bennet’s eyebrow twitch, she decided this was not the time to boast. “Whether my change is great or small, I cannot say. But I find myself thinking of my future in a way I never did before. Is this what you consider to be maturity?”

  “It is one element in the mix. Well, I am off to bed—so much excitement this evening! As for you, Lydia, I believe you have earned the privilege of being out in Meryton society for as long as your mature behavior continues.”

  “Thank you, Papa!”

  ≈≈≈

  As soon as Elizabeth and Georgiana heard a coach roll to a stop in Netherfield’s drive, they hurried out, with Jane and Bingley but a step behind. Darcy emerged first and provided a steadying hand to Fitzwilliam, who was hugging his injured arm to his chest. “Christopher, you are hurt!” Georgiana exclaimed.

  “Nothing serious,” Fitzwilliam said.

  “Fitz fell when Wickham shot his horse,” Darcy said.

  “Laird’s injury is minor; he is stabled with the Bennets. As for me, my arm is back where it belongs, thanks to Ainsworth.” Slowly, Fitzwilliam climbed the steps and entered the house with Georgiana hovering at his side, eager to help but afraid to touch.

  Bingley followed them. “We’ll need to wrap that; I have experience with such injuries.”

  To the groom, Darcy said, “Thank you for your help, Heath. I know these are not your usual duties, but you kept your head, and you recovered the colonel’s horse. Good work.”

  “Happy to assist, sir. Sorry the villain escaped.” He excused himself and took the carriage and Pegasus to the stable.

  Darcy turned to find Elizabeth standing intoxicatingly near. She asked, “Is the blood on your shirt yours?”

  “A bullet grazed my ear. Miss Kitty tidied me up and said my wound was not serious.”

  “I need to see for myself.” Elizabeth placed a firm hand on Darcy’s elbow, as Jane walked on his other side. He smiled, enjoying being surrounded by caring hearts.

  “I know there is a story to tell,” Jane said, “but first we must see to your injuries. Then would you prefer brandy, port, or tea?”

  “Brandy, please, and a clean shirt.”

  ≈≈≈

  Darcy’s valet, Powers, tended to Fitzwilliam first, working with Mrs. Pimset and Bingley to create a sling to support the colonel’s injured arm. Meanwhile, Elizabeth, who considered willow bark tea to be an essential remedy for all ailments and injuries, prepared cups flavored with honey and fresh mint. Only after the gentlemen had dutifully drunk this did she allow Jane to give them brandies. Fitzwilliam was happy to try any tea that might reduce the ache he felt, and Darcy was so delighted to have Elizabeth fuss over him, he would have drunk a dozen cups of the brew just to have her near.

  Now holding a glass of brandy with both hands, Darcy sat with his eyes closed as Elizabeth leaned over him, dabbing honey on the abrasion at the top of his ear. He knew if he opened his eyes, he would find her bosom very close to his face, and he struggled not to think about that. She said, “I shall put a strip of linen on your head so you won’t get honey on your pillow. Wait here while I find a bandage.” When Darcy opened his eyes, she was gone, so he took a sip of brandy. This is the best terrible day of my entire life!

  Moments later, Elizabeth was back with a narrow length of linen, which she carefully wrapped around his head, covering the top of his ear. He asked, “Might you put it at a jaunty angle? Something to show I am bloodied but unbowed?”

  “I shall do my best.” Her eyes sparkled, and she whispered, “I thank God you are well.”

  ≈≈≈

  Soon, all were gathered in the drawing room to discuss Wickham’s escape. From Darcy’s and Fitzwilliam’s accounts, it was clear the men were still trying to make sense of the event. Darcy said, “I cannot fathom how Collins came to be there. Lydia insists she did not tell our plan to anyone.”

  Elizabeth said, “Mr. Collins brought Charlotte to our gathering at Longbourn, and he was annoyed that we did not permit him to stay. Perhaps before he returned to Lucas Lodge, he lingered down the road and observed the activities at the barn. He might even have gotten near enough to overhear something.”

  “He was surprised to find Lydia there instead of you, and he commanded me not to elope with her,” Darcy said, chuckling.

  Jane shook her head. “I am appalled that my ridiculous cousin should upset the plan to capture Wickham, resulting in Mr. Darcy being shot, the Colonel injuring his arm, and a horse being wounded. Yet Mr. Collins did not suffer so much as a scratch?”

  “I neglected to mention I punched him after he insulted Miss Lydia,” Darcy said.

  “There is also the matter of the stolen stallion,” Fitzwilliam said. “I hope Wickham has the sense to get a good price for him.”

  “Do you think Wickham will return?” Bingley asked.

  “No. If we wish to capture him, we must go looking for him,” Fitzwilliam said.

  “Please do not. He is not worth the effort,” Georgiana said.

  “I agree,” Elizabeth said.

  ≈≈≈

  July 10, 1811

  To the relief of everyone except Collins (and possibly Lady Lucas, who was besotted with imaginings of Charlotte being mistress of her own estate), Mr. Bennet continued to improve. Thus, on the day after Wickham’s escape, Jane and Bingley announced their decision to host a ball at Netherfield on July nineteenth, as their hasty nuptials had not provided an opportunity to celebrate with their neighbors.

  Also that day, Fitzwilliam received a letter from Corporal Tinkler, who reported he had found Donald Collins but the gentleman insisted he did not know of Dr. Nicoll or his tonics. “I believe he is a liar,” Tinkler wrote, “so I asked around Kingston and found witnesses who corroborated your hypothesis that Collins has produced and sold herbal tonics. In fact, he still does in bottles labeled ‘Dr. Sillcon.’”

  “Collins, Nicoll, Sillcon—a one-man rogue’s gallery,” Fitzwilliam murmured. He penned a brief note thanking Tinkler for his help and advising he would be in contact again when he prepared a report on the matter.

  34

  “You ladies rescued yourselves.”

  July 14, 1811

  In the afternoon, Elizabeth and Darcy took a leisurely walk to Oakham Mount. “I spoke with your Uncle Phillips this morning. He informs me Purvis Lodge will be ready tomorrow. Apparently, an infestation of bats in the attic slowed the preparations.”

  “Oh goodness! I should have returned to Longbourn rather than putting you to such bother.”

  “I’m certain the bats were more inconvenienced than I.” After a pause, he asked, “Would you prefer to return home?”

  “Indeed, I would not! This has been the happiest time of my life.”

  I hope when we are wed, you will find even more happiness. “You do understand why I must leave, don’t you?”

  Elizabeth sighed. “I fear you are tired of my company.”

  He matched her sigh. “That is true, Miss Elizabeth.”

  “You have be
come very good at teasing.”

  “You, madam, are a skilled teacher. There is a saying by an American ambassador to France, a Mr. Franklin, ‘Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other.’”

  “I realize that you go to Purvis Lodge so my reputation is not at risk; however, I shall miss having you so near,” she confided with uncharacteristic shyness.

  “When may I speak to your father about marrying you?”

  “By all accounts, life at Longbourn is still tumultuous. The ball is only five days away—might we wait until the day after? It will then be just past a month since Papa’s collapse, and I will feel more secure about his recovery. This is more superstition than science, but it is how I feel,” Elizabeth said.

  To Darcy, it was simply evidence of her caring nature, and he would not fault her for it. “Your father will give his permission, won’t he?”

  “The only reason he might have for withholding his approval would be to spite Mama, possibly causing her to suffer a collapse. Regardless, I shall marry you, for I will be of age.”

  “Will you? When is your birthday?”

  “I celebrate my majority on the twenty-eighth of July.”

  “There are so many things I do not know about you!”

  “Is that not a good thing? We have much to discover about each other, which I find an exciting notion! Still, I hope you are confident as to the essential nature of my character.”

  “Would that the world had your kindness, your loyalty, and your courage to confront.” Smiling, he added, “And your wit and your intelligence … have I earned myself a kiss yet?”

  “A kiss would be a great reward for that rather short list.”

  Elizabeth’s arch expression was so distracting, Darcy closed his eyes and endeavored to call to mind appropriate praises. A moment later, he felt her hands resting lightly on his shoulders and her lips pressing firmly against his. Eyes still closed, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him.

  When they finally separated, he said, “We can have the first reading of the banns on the Sunday following the ball and the last reading on ….” Reluctantly, he released her to consult the small journal he carried in his coat pocket. “August fourth. What day do you wish to marry?”

  “August seventh.”

  “A Wednesday—are you superstitious?”

  “We have been kept apart by rather a lot of nonsense, mostly of our own making.”

  “Say my name,” he asked softly.

  “Fitzwilliam. William. Will,” she said, drawing out the single syllable. “It seems prudent for us marry on the most auspicious day of the week.”

  Using the small pencil bundled with his journal, Darcy noted the dates: July twenty, permission; August seventh, wedding. “Done, madam. I salute your decisiveness.”

  “Have I earned myself a kiss?”

  Darcy pulled her close again and their lips met, a most satisfying moment for both.

  ≈≈≈

  July 15, 1811

  Although Anne had been in London for little more than two weeks, she felt she was losing herself to fear and sadness. Most of her evenings were spent at private parties and balls, where she went through the motions of being a good guest. If I were to announce to my fellow guests that I am a prisoner in my own home, who would believe me? No one, I fear. I would be dragged away and locked up here or in Bedlam. Oh, Nora, are you safe and well? When will I see you again? How can I fight Mama without you?

  Most of Anne’s days were spent practicing the pianoforte and staring out her bedroom window. Still unaccounted for were her coin purse and the little journal containing the directions for friends and relations. In addition, Anne was not allowed to have paper, pens, or ink. Earlier today, during her second Monday pianoforte lesson, she had asked Donizetti if he would bring her writing materials and then post a letter, but without telling anyone he had done so.

  There was sincere regret in the music master’s voice when he declined. He explained that when Lady Catherine engaged him, she predicted her daughter might ask him to send messages on her behalf. In no uncertain terms, her ladyship warned that if he did so, he would be sacked, and his reputation ruined among the ton. “Please, Miss De Bourgh, my livelihood is at stake. You must find a way without my help.”

  ≈≈≈

  When the Darcys and Fitzwilliam moved to Purvis Lodge, Bingley sent his curricle with them on loan, knowing their fondness for it. (As he was now happily married, he no longer needed the sporty vehicle to steal private moments with Jane.) The lodge was smaller than Netherfield, and its new occupants settled in quickly with the help of Darcy’s valet and Georgiana’s maid.

  Georgiana was most conscientious in her role as the lady of the manor. On Tuesday morning, Darcy observed silently as Georgiana discussed with the servants, including Thorpe the butler and Mrs. Kilberry the housekeeper, their duties and her expectations. On Tuesday afternoon, Georgiana insisted that her brother visit Netherfield while she planned the menus for the week with the cook.

  ≈≈≈

  July 17, 1811

  By Wednesday, Georgiana was ready to be a carefree young lady for awhile, so she rode Samson to Longbourn. Lydia was assisting her mother in household matters; thus, she did not join Kitty, Mary, and Georgiana when they walked to the Laidlaw farm to see the barn cat’s new litter. For the visit, Mary brought fresh lavender as a gift for Mrs. Laidlaw, hoping Ainsworth would see this as evidence of her thoughtful nature.

  After the brief cat-viewing, for the kittens’ eyes were not yet open, the young ladies stayed to tea with Mr. and Mrs. Laidlaw and Ainsworth. Georgiana spoke appreciatively of the fresh bread and flavorful butter they ate, telling her hostess, “I am a country girl, and this reminds me of the wonderful bread-and-butter sandwiches which are a staple at Pemberley during harvest.”

  Upon farewelling the Laidlaws, Kitty and Georgiana started on the path toward Longbourn. Ainsworth and Mary, however, trailed the young ladies at a short distance. He said, “I—we—are happy you came to tea, speaking for my family and myself. And it was kind of you to bring the lavender to Aunt Tessa.”

  “We … I enjoyed my visit here, as well, sir.”

  “A few days ago, I was at the stream where it is closest to the house. There were still ripe blackberries on the bushes; you might wish to collect a few on your way.” Dropping his pocketknife into the basket dangling from her arm, he said, “I shall lend this to you because it will give me an excuse to see you again very soon.”

  “Thank you,” Mary said, blushing. “I shall tell Kitty and Georgiana of the berries.”

  “Goodbye, Miss Mary.” Ainsworth held her hand longer than was proper before releasing her to join her friends.

  When the ladies were beyond the gentleman’s hearing, Georgiana said, “I like Mr. Ainsworth. Do you like him, Kitty?”

  “Yes, I believe he has some very good qualities. Mary, do you like Mr. Ainsworth?”

  “I suppose he is tolerable, but not enough to tempt me.”

  Kitty gasped, and then the Bennet sisters burst into laughter. Puzzled, Georgiana asked, “Is there some special significance to your remark?”

  “Have you not heard about your brother’s first appearance at a public event in Meryton?” Kitty asked.

  “No,” Georgiana said, her confusion increasing when she saw Kitty and Mary exchange glances. “Now you must tell me. I am eager to know how he behaves in unfamiliar company.”

  “Mind you, our opinion of your brother has improved greatly of late,” Mary said.

  “When the Netherfield party arrived at the assembly last September, Mr. Darcy danced only with Miss Bingley and her sister Mrs. Hurst, even though there were several ladies in want

  of a partner,” Kitty said. “When Mr. Bingley encouraged him to dance with Lizzy, your brother declared that her appearance was tolerable, but not enough to tempt him.”

  “And Lizzy heard him,” Mary added.

  “Oh, my heavens! She heard him speak
so insultingly—and untruthfully! Does Brother know she heard him disparage her?”

  Mary shrugged. “We do not know.”

  “The colonel has told us your brother was distracted by some family matter when he visited last year, so perhaps his words had nothing to do with Lizzy,” Kitty said.

  “Well, our sister and your brother seem to have resolved their differences,” Mary said.

  “Still, I am mortified!” Georgiana exclaimed.

  “Why should you be?” Kitty said. “It would be unfair to hold any of us accountable for our family members, else Mary and I would spend hours and hours each week apologizing for Lydia.”

  “Ah, I have some sweet news,” Mary said. “Mr. Ainsworth says there are bushes with ripe blackberries where the stream is closest to the Laidlaw house. Let us follow the stream for a little distance so we can collect some berries as we go. He has given me his pocketknife.” She showed them the knife in her wicker basket.

  ≈≈≈

  While Kitty and Mary searched the bushes for ripe berries, Georgiana held the basket. The young ladies were so engaged in their hunt, they did not notice the four young men camped by the stream until after one fellow had seen them. “What a pretty sight you ladies are,” he drawled, absently rubbing a vivid scar on his cheek. Standing, he nodded to his companions. “Rise, gentlemen, in the presence of the fairer sex.” Two of the men rose, while the third frowned and began packing his rucksack.

  Although the ladies were too surprised to speak, they shared the same thought: Whatever else these fellows are, they are not gentlemen.

  “Are you stealing our supper?” asked a young man with an Irish accent.

  “You’ve got a basket there, Miss; is there food in it?” the third fellow said, gesturing at Georgiana’s arm. He was the only one wearing a cap.