“They found her.” Lil.
“Yes.” Sabrina.
“But they found her.”
“Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!”
Lil’s legs gave way. Sabrina caught her and eased her to the floor as the world whitened out at the edges. There was too much happiness flying around Lil’s body and not enough oxygen. She just needed a moment. She rested her arms on her legs and dropped her head forward, taking in deep, long breaths. Somewhere far away Sabrina was rubbing her back and saying, “I know it’s a shock.”
A shock. A shock was getting an A on a maths exam or coming downstairs and finding you’d been burgled. This was a miracle. It was waking up one morning and discovering you could fly, or walking out of your house to find it was raining chocolate bars. It was celebrating Christmas every day. It was everything you’d ever wished for and then some.
Because Mella was coming home.
“Can I see her?”
“Yes,” Sabrina said, “yes, cariad, of course you can. I’ll take you to the hospital now.”
“Mum!” Lil shouted suddenly, making a couple of people look up. “Does Mum know?”
“Yes, she’s going to meet us at the hospital.”
“What did Mum say when you told her?” Lil asked, and then because there seemed to be some kind of delay between the world and her brain, she said, “Hospital. Is Mella hurt?” Lil’s stomach did a somersault. Please don’t give her back to me only to take her away again.
“We’ll know more when we get to the hospital,” Sabrina said.
“Sabrina!” Lil cried, exasperated.
Sabrina held up her hands. “Darling, I know this is hard, but I really don’t have anything more to share. They mentioned a head injury and that’s all I know. Let’s get to the hospital and find out. Okay?”
Lil nodded. “How did they find her?”
“As far as I can gather, a car picked up a young woman who had been walking on the main road to Caerwen earlier today. She was very distressed, and they took her to the local hospital. The medical team called the police. One of my team went up there and confirmed that it was Mella.”
“And did she say she came from the same place as Seven?” A flicker of something crossed Sabrina’s face. Lil couldn’t read what it meant, but it scared her. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Please, Lil,” Sabrina begged. “The main thing is Mella has been found and is receiving the care she needs.”
Lil could see it was pointless to keep questioning Sabrina. She either didn’t know or wouldn’t say more right now. That was Sabrina’s way. She only spoke truth, and if she didn’t know something for sure, she wouldn’t say it, no matter how much you pestered her. “Did she ask about us?” Lil inquired instead.
“I don’t know any more than I’ve said. I’m sorry. I’ll get a full report later.”
“Will we make it to the hospital in the rain?”
“If we have to learn to fly, we’ll make it,” Sabrina replied.
• • •
It took Lil and Sabrina ages to get to the hospital. At one point it looked like they might not manage it. But Sabrina found a back way where the river water was lower. Lil could barely keep still, and she was unable to stop asking questions long enough for Sabrina to answer them.
The first one she asked was, “It’s really her?” Or rather, her mouth asked. Lil felt entirely disconnected from the rest of her body. There had been sightings and “findings” before. Not for a long time. At the beginning they’d gone hurtling off to Cardiff, Manchester, and even London because someone was absolutely and completely positive they’d seen Mella. Not a young woman matching Mella’s description, but actually Mella. The journeys there had been like this one: long but full of excitement. The journeys home had been long and quiet. No one had spoken; there had been nothing to say.
“It’s her,” Sabrina said. “The officers checked.”
The road was very wet with puddles all along it. Lil knew driving must be difficult. She should let her aunt concentrate, but she couldn’t. She’d waited over four months and she couldn’t wait a second longer. “Sabrina,” she said. “Is . . . is it bad? Did they hurt her?” All the terrible things that could have stopped Mella from coming home filled her head.
Sabrina reached across and patted her knee. “She’s safe now, that’s the important thing.”
“But I want to know what happened to her. She’ll . . . if it was bad . . .” She’d been gone for months; of course it was bad. “She’ll need help. I want to be able to support her, and I can’t if I don’t know what she went through.”
Sabrina glanced across at Lil briefly, her eyes shining. “You’re such a good sister, Lil.”
Lil had to look away. Don’t be angry, Mouse. Lil had let Mella down once before. She was never doing it again.
• • •
Lil’s mum wasn’t there when Lil and Sabrina arrived at the hospital. Sabrina talked to the nurses while they waited, and Lil got a hot chocolate that tasted more like coffee from one of the vending machines, then sat in the small waiting room.
After a while Lil picked up a magazine, turning the pages without registering what was on them. In the end she let it lie, unread, on her lap. Her stomach was in knots. She couldn’t eat the dry sandwich Sabrina had insisted on buying her from the café on the ground floor of the hospital.
Lil was relieved when her aunt came back. Anything to escape her thoughts. She stood up. “Is Mum here?” she asked, and then she saw her mother standing in the doorway.
“Lil!” Her mum stepped forward, and then they were holding each other and crying. “Oh, Lils, can you believe it?” The hope in her mother’s voice scared her.
Fear had begun to creep in alongside Lil’s happiness now. What would Mella be like? She’d been through so much and she’d been fragile before. Something told Lil that getting Mella home might only be the beginning. Would her mum be able to cope with it? Please be strong, Lil begged silently. For Mella. For me.
“Can we see her?” Mum asked Sabrina, her voice full of happy tears. “Can we see my daughter?”
“Yes,” Sabrina said, but she made no move toward the door. “But I want you to prepare yourselves. I didn’t get the full information before, but . . . Mella is in a bad way.”
Her mum gripped her hand, and Lil tried to hold steady for both of them, Sabrina’s words echoing around her head. She hung back as they went out into the corridor, leaving Sabrina to take her mum’s hand. Lil needed more time to think. What would she say? What would Mella say? Over four months was a long time. How would Mella look? Would she look different? How bad was bad?
By the time they reached her sister’s room, Lil couldn’t breathe. Her lungs were replaced with a plastic bag. Lil hovered outside the room. She wanted to rush forward and throw her arms around her sister’s neck, but her body wouldn’t cooperate. She shut her eyes briefly, imagining the scene. Mella in her mum’s arms. Both of them crying. Laughing. Happy. Finally her mum would draw back. She’d dab at her eyes with one hand, while holding Mella tightly with the other. Then Mella would look over at Lil for the first time. “Mouse!” She’d smile, and the memory of the last agonizing months would be wiped away—
A scream broke into Lil’s thoughts. It was followed by a shout.
Lil’s eyes flew open and she darted into the room.
Her mum was backing away from the bed, one hand over her mouth. She was the color of icing. Sabrina held her as she was shouting for help, and she looked pale too but also angry, two spots of red rising up on her cheeks. Lil didn’t understand what was going on. Why were they shouting? Mella had only just come back. Shouldn’t everyone be so happy they could burst?
Then she looked at the girl in the bed.
She was dark haired, curls escaping from the loose plait that hung over one shoulder. There was a bandage covering half of her face and another around her arm.
Lil’s legs turned to water.
The girl in the be
d wasn’t Mella.
“Trust in me,” saith the Light, “and I shall never fail you.”
—THE BOOK
Mella’s head hurt; in fact, the whole left side of her body was one giant bruise. She was lying down, somewhere dark and warm. She struggled to sit up, eyelids sticking. The room she was in wasn’t as dark as she’d first thought. A fire burned in a large glass orb on the long wooden table. It cast orange shapes on the wooden floor. A low voice whispered in the gloom: Moon. Head ducked over the orb, she muttered to herself. There were other shapes. Sisters. Mella counted ten women. Where were the others? Had some escaped? Or were they dead too?
Mella felt sick. She’d been an idiot not to see what was going on sooner. But how? Moon had always seemed so kind, so loving. Mella was angry with herself. This place was just another of her mistakes.
She shifted position, easing herself up to sit, using the wall to help her. She didn’t think she’d be able to stand. Her left ankle was all puffy and purple. Not a good look. But how had this happened? Who’d brought her here? The last thing she remembered was running from Moon and Evanescence . . . oh, and the tree root. She’d tripped and landed headfirst on something solid. She must have knocked herself out and twisted her ankle, and Evanescence found her and carried her here. To the Great Hall, with the other sisters, and Moon babbling like a lunatic to the Sun’s flame.
“You’re awake.”
Mella jumped and, turning, saw Luster leaning heavily against the wall beside her. The congealed blood on her face and neck gleamed against her dark skin like rubies in the firelight. The sight of those injuries hurt Mella. She didn’t deserve to be treated like that. None of them did.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Luster raised an eyebrow. It said, Do I look okay?
“Where are the others? I know Dazzle is. . . .” Dead.
The older woman shook her head. “I don’t know. Dazzle hasn’t come back. I’m hoping by the Light that means she got away.”
“Got away? How?”
“When they realized what Moon was going to do, some of the sisters intervened. They pulled Dazzle to safety and then they ran. I followed you up to the clearing. I tried to help as best I could . . . but some of the sisters fought back. . . .” She gestured to her face.
Mella glanced around at the women in the room, wondering who it had been.
“Don’t blame them. Many of them have been here nearly all their lives. . . . Without the Light, they have nothing.”
“But Dazzle’s okay? She’s alive?”
“She was when I saw her. Hurt, badly, but alive, yes.”
Hope blossomed inside Mella. “And if the others got away, if they can get to the police, tell them what’s happened . . .” She broke off as Luster shook her head. “What?”
“We rarely leave the compound. Moon has filled their heads with tales about the people outside. Dark-filled recreants. Even if they do make it out, even if Dazzle survives, I don’t know that they’ll trust anyone enough to—”
“But one of them will, surely?”
“Maybe.” There was no hope in her voice.
“So we’re on our own, then.”
Luster didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. Fear clutched at Mella’s chest. Moon had told them: “Let me take you into the Light. Let Her burn the Darkness from you.”
“We have to do something! We can’t just sit here, waiting.” But even as she thought it, she knew it was hopeless. They were in the Great Hall; its windows had bars, and its iron-studded door was shut and locked. Even if it wasn’t, Mella wasn’t sure she could walk, let alone run. Then there was Evanescence.
Mella could see her now, prowling across the doorway like a caged tiger. Maybe if enough of them ran at her. But which of the sisters would stand against Moon? These were the ones who’d stayed, who had hurt Luster to do so.
She looked at them now, silent and hunched, sitting in small groups. Mella barely knew them. How could she convince them to turn against everything they’d been taught? They knew about the cleansing. They’d seen what had happened to Dazzle. It had probably happened to them in the past, and still they’d stayed, still they’d obeyed Moon and done nothing. Why would they go against their high priestess now, when the Brightness was so close?
Mella looked at the barred windows. “How will we escape?”
As if in response, the fire surged upward, cackling like a maniac.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
On the night of Lil’s sixteenth birthday, her mum and Mella had an argument, the biggest yet. It was their third that week. None of them had seen Mella since Tuesday. Rhia was over for dinner. They waited as long as they could to eat, until everything that wasn’t burned was cold. The meal sat in Lil’s stomach like cement.
Rhia and Lil were in the kitchen washing up when Mella came in. It was past ten. Lil was trying not to be angry at Mella, but she could feel the rage burning up inside. It was her birthday. Why couldn’t Mella just be nice for one night? Just not make everything unpleasant for one night.
“Where the hell have you been?” Mum shouted from the hallway. “I’ve called everyone we know. Mrs. Forster said that it’s a shame I can’t keep track of my own children.”
Mella laughed. “Yeah, well, Mrs. Forster has always been a bitch.” She came into the kitchen, tugging off her boots. “Sorry I’m late, Mouse.”
“Is this some kind of joke to you, Melanie?” Their mum stood, arms folded, face thunderous, in the doorway, while Mella went through the fridge. “Do you think it’s funny to make us worried sick about you? To call the police and almost hear them sigh. ‘Gone missing again, eh? What do you do to her, Mrs. Laverty?’ ”
Mella took out a piece of cheese and began to eat it. Lil could tell she was drunk. The anger inside her rose higher. She hated her sister when she was drunk.
“This has got to stop,” Mum said.
“Or what?” Mella shouted suddenly and the noise exploded around the room until Lil wanted to put her hands over her ears.
“Stop it,” Lil said. “Stop shouting. Mum, Mella’s here now. It’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Just stop shouting, please.” What she wanted to say was, Mella, just sit down, can’t you? Just be my big sister. The fun, kind one who draws silly pictures of goats for my birthday. Lil had been looking forward to tonight for ages. Mella had promised to be home early. She had promised not to argue with Mum. Yet here she was. Late. Drunk. Argumentative.
Rhia blushed scarlet and looked as though she wished the floor would open up and swallow her. You and me both, thought Lil. Rhia gave Lil a reassuring smile and then said, “I’ll just . . . ,” before slipping from the room.
“Stop shouting at each other,” Lil said again. She was angry, but no one noticed because no one was listening to her. As usual. Lil was surprised at how bitter that thought was.
“Where have you been?” Mum asked Mella.
“Fairyland.”
“Have you been drinking?”
Mella just smiled stupidly.
“I know where you haven’t been recently—college.”
Mella whitened. She glared at Lil. Lil opened her mouth to say, “It wasn’t me,” but she was too late, and who cared? Mum was shouting again and didn’t need an excuse. Besides, Mella hadn’t been at college. She was always out with Cai. All the time.
“So where have you been going? Hanging out with that boy? Don’t tell me it’s true love. I can tell you now, Melanie, you do not end up staying with the guy you met when you were seventeen. Unless you get pregnant. Then what? You’ll get stuck in this valley, watching all your dreams disappear, just like . . .” She trailed off, but they both knew what she had been going to say. Just like me, stuck in the middle of nowhere, no husband, two children, having given up the career she loved before it really began.
“Yeah, ’cause we’ve made your life so difficult.” Mella put her hand on Lil’s shoulder. It was trembling. Lil wanted to hold her. She wanted to hold her mum and sister both s
o tightly that they couldn’t get any more words out and then they would have to stop shouting at each other. Lil was no expert, but she knew that some things once said couldn’t be taken back.
“Mum,” she said, voice overly cheerful. “Didn’t you say there was cake? Let’s have that.”
“Lilian, I am talking to your sister. Please don’t interrupt.”
You are not talking, you are shouting, and it’s my birthday! But Lil didn’t say anything. She just went out of the room and into the hallway. She needed to breathe. This was like her sixth birthday and her seventh and her twelfth all over again. For once could Mella just be . . . ? Be what? Less selfish. God, her sister was so selfish. Everything was always about her. Lil was sick of it. Her anger was a red-hot coal in her stomach, and Lil fanned it with bitterness until it began to burn.
Rhia was sitting on the stairs. She held her hand out for Lil to pull her up just as Mella shouted from the kitchen. “God, you’re such a ——!” And she called Mum a name that was so awful it seemed to reverberate around the house. “No wonder Dad left.”
Lil flinched.
“Come on,” Rhia said, putting her arm around Lil and leading her into the living room. She pushed her down onto the sofa and then went to turn on the stereo.
Lil shook her head. “I want to hear.” She knew it was a bad idea, but she could feel her irritation with her sister burning up inside her, and she wanted to add oxygen to that fire. She was tired of always being okay with everything, of always being the one to act as peacekeeper, apologizing again and again for both of them.
Rhia hesitated and then nodded. “Probably sensible to check they don’t kill each other.”
There was the sound of a glass smashing and any humor was lost.
“You think it’s true love, you and Cai, do you? Wake up, Mella!” Mum shouted.
Lil closed her eyes, breathing deeply, so she felt rather than saw Rhia sit on the sofa next to her and drag the blanket over them both. Nain had knitted it, and if you held it close, you could sometimes imagine it still smelled of her jasmine perfume. Tonight it did nothing to calm Lil.
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