From Port to Rigor Morte

by J. C. Eaton

  Sure enough, a large man with a buzz cut and official county jacket headed toward us.

  “Uh, guess I’ll be on my way.”

  “That, Miss Ellington, is the first good guess you’ve made today.”

  Tempted as I was to offer up a retort, I bit my tongue and hurried back to where Theo stood.

  “Forget it. Poor Eli’s going to be toast before the day’s out. I’m not sure if he’d be better off having me call over there or wait and see.”

  Theo scrunched his nose and sighed. “It’s been my experience that whoever gets there first wins.”

  “Huh?”

  “Think about it. The first person to report something always gets the sympathetic ear. The next one winds up on the defensive. Call them.”

  “You’re probably right. Meanwhile, I’ve got another call to make—Catherine. I want to find out if any of her employees haven’t shown up for work. That man could be on her staff.”

  “She’s right across the road.”

  “I know, but I’d rather not get caught up in anything over there.”

  “Yeah, come to think of it.”

  I waited until Theo and I got in the car and then phoned Catherine. It took a good two or three minutes before someone got her on the line, and when she finally spoke, she sounded flustered and frantic. And loud. So loud Theo heard her. “Please tell me you were mistaken and it was only a branch. A big gnarly branch.”

  “Uh, it was more of a thin, dark-haired man,” I said.

  “Oh my God! I already called Steven and he said not to overreact. I’m calling him right back. Tell me, Norrie, was the man shot? Knifed? What? I need to tell Steven.”

  “Maybe don’t tell him anything yet. Deputy Hickman or one of the assistant deputies plans on seeing you. I wanted to give you the heads-up.”

  “I don’t know what I can tell them. I haven’t been in that wooded area in years.”

  “Uh, you said there was a fender bender the other day. What other day?”

  “Oh, goodness. There’s a dead man across the road from me. I can’t be concerned about a silly old fender bender.”

  “The body looked as if it had been hit by a car and dragged into the woods. Keep that to yourself. I’m in enough you-know-what with Deputy Hickman. Tell me, when was that accident?”

  “The day before yesterday. In the afternoon.”

  Holy smokes! Maybe it’s not a fender bender after all. The blowfly lays its eggs two days after death. Too soon for maggots.

  “Catherine, did all of your employees show up for work today?”

  “You don’t think— Oh, dear. I can safely say all of the tasting room employees are here and I spoke with my winemaker and my vineyard manager this morning. Of course, I have no idea if any of their staff didn’t show up. What makes you think it could be one of our employees?”

  “The deceased was wearing a blue polo shirt with the Lake View Winery logo on it. Hard to miss. Then again, all of our wineries sell products with our logos.”

  “Don’t try to cheer me up. I’m calling my winemaker and my vineyard manager. And Steven. I don’t care how busy he is in Maine. His mother is sitting across the road from a rotting corpse.”

  Chapter 6

  “That went well,” Theo said as soon as I ended the call. “Good thing it’s almost closing time at our wineries because Catherine’s probably driving her tasting room employees nuts.”

  “My gosh. You’re right. About closing time. I can’t believe we’ve been gone so long.”

  “I can. And Don’s most likely pitching a fit by now, too. I told him I’d be a half hour. Forty minutes max.”

  “He’ll understand once you explain about the body, and Deputy Hickman.”

  “I suppose. Geez, I really hope that guy doesn’t turn out to be one of her employees. Face it, cause of death wasn’t natural.”

  “No kidding.”

  “You can drop me off on the driveway as soon as you pull onto Two Witches Hill. I’m sure you’ll want to check in with your tasting room manager before you close for the day.”

  “Okay. I’ll call you later. And thanks, Theo. I really mean it.”

  “No problem. I’m getting used to this kind of thing.”

  A few minutes later I parked the Toyota in our lot and went inside the winery building. A handful of customers were milling around the wine racks and two were in front of Lizzie waiting for her to ring them up. The tables had been cleared of wineglasses, bottled water, and cracker trays. Roger, Glenda, and Sam were all busy wiping the tables with cleaner so everything would be all set for tomorrow morning.

  I gave them a wave and walked into the kitchen, where Cammy was fast at work emptying the dishwasher.

  “You won’t believe this,” I said, “but Theo and I found a dead body in that bushy wooded area across from Lake View Winery.”

  She put a wineglass on the nearby mat and wiped her hands on a dish towel. “Holy cannoli! Lizzie told me about those two boys but I was positive what they saw was nothing more than a big log that resembled a body from a distance. Yeesh. Not to get too graphic, but how long do you think it was there? I mean, was it all rotted out with worms and stuff?”

  “No. It was pretty recent. Maybe a day or two at most. Flies were milling about. No gross maggots yet.”

  Cammy shuddered and I continued to talk. “It was a man. Thin with dark hair. Oh, and he was wearing a polo shirt with the Lake View Winery logo on it.”

  “That would explain it.”

  “Explain what?”

  “Sorry, I should have mentioned it when you walked in. Catherine Trobert called a few minutes before you got here and left a message. Said to tell you all of her employees showed up for work today. By the way, she sounded as if she just completed a fifty-yard dash. Kept gasping for breath.”

  “Yeah. Theo and I called her when we found the body since it was on her property. At least it wasn’t one of her workers. Fifty-yard dash, huh? I hate to see what she’ll be like when Deputy Hickman goes over there to speak with her.”

  “Do you think it was foul play?”

  “For sure. Theo’s convinced it was a hit-and-run and I agree with him. No bullet wounds that we could see or puncture wounds. And nothing to indicate he was strangled. Good grief. It’s like I’m a forensic pathologist without the degree.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  Just then Glenda breezed into the kitchen with an armload of towels for the washing machine. “I heard puncture wounds and strangled. What’s going on?”

  Cammy took another wineglass from the dishwasher. “Norrie and Theo came across a dead body across from Lake View Winery in the woods. Long story.”

  “We think it was a hit-and-run and someone dumped the body. There were drag marks on the ground.”

  Glenda put her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes. “You and Theo should partake in a ritualistic body purifying exercise to be on the safe side.”

  “The safe side of what?” I all but shrieked.

  “Victims of foul play or sudden death carry a dark aura that can attach itself to you. And restless spirits can linger indefinitely.”

  I should have expected something like that coming from Glenda. Half the time I wasn’t sure if she or her wacky friend Zenora functioned in the real world or the spiritual one.

  “It’s Catherine Trobert’s problem, not mine,” I replied. “The body was on her property.”

  “What body?” This time it was Sam who came into the kitchen.

  I looked at Cammy and rolled my eyes. “Lizzie’s probably locked up the place by now. How about you tell Sam and Roger what’s going on and I’ll mosey to the bistro to give Fred and Emma the lowdown.” And to see if there are any leftover sandwiches I can take home. I’m starving.

  By ten minutes to six I was back home, having informed everyone in our tasting room about the recent discovery down the road. I didn’t think I needed to involve our winemaker or our vineyard manager, since the grim discovery had nothin
g to do with Two Witches. But I did need to call the Speltmores and hopefully say something that would lessen whatever punishment they were going to dole out on Eli once Deputy Hickman made an appearance.

  I put the two mixed cold cut sandwiches Fred had given me into the fridge and poured a cup of kibble for Charlie. Then I got the Speltmore’s number from the winery list Francine had posted over the pantry door and called. A woman answered the phone and I prayed I wouldn’t louse things up.

  “Uh, hi! This is Norrie Ellington from Two Witches Winery. I was hoping to—”

  “Yes, this is Delia Speltmore and I’m sure you want to chat with my husband. Unfortunately, Henry is tied up at the moment. He’s dealing with a management issue regarding the seasonal workers and he’s been having an awful time trying to reach his wine publicist regarding the new tawny port that we’re about to release. Can I have him call you back later?”

  I gulped. “Er, uh, well, this isn’t exactly winery business. I mean, it does involve a winery but not a Seneca Lake Wine Trail issue.”

  I knew at that moment I was going to blow it so I did the best I could. “I met your son, Eli, a few months ago and he’s a wonderful kid.”

  “Oh, no. Just tell me what he did.”

  “He and his friend Stuart stopped by our winery early this afternoon to ask if I’d check on something for them. It seems they came upon what they thought was a dead body in the wooded area across from Lake View Winery.”

  “A dead body? Lake View Winery? That’s way down the road from us. This can’t be right. I can see them right now from the porch. They’re tossing a Frisbee to the dog.”

  Whew. They got home all right.

  “Uh-huh, but like I said, they thought they saw a body and it turned out they were right. Deputy Hickman will most likely pay you a visit this evening. Eli’s a great kid but kids don’t always use the best judgment.” Oh, brother. Like I would know. “I really didn’t want to call and get him in trouble but I thought I’d give you a heads-up regarding the sheriff’s office.”

  “I’m glad you did. This is all his father needs on top of the wine trail issues he’s dealing with. I’ll say one thing—Eli’s sorry little butt will be firmly planted on our property until he turns twenty-one. I don’t care what anyone says. That boy will be under house arrest until he can vote! Oh, no!”

  “What?”

  “A sheriff’s deputy is on his way to the door. I was so busy talking I didn’t hear him pull in.”

  “Older man? Big and gruff-looking?”

  “No, round face and young.”

  Must be Clarence. Thank your lucky stars. Grizzly Gary’s probably still at the scene.

  “Um, guess I’ll let you get going. By the way, if it wasn’t for Eli, that body might not have been found for months. And he did the right thing by telling someone. All in all, that should even things out.”

  I tried my best to lighten the consequences for the kid but I wasn’t sure of the results. “One more thing, Mrs. Speltmore. Eli and Stuart don’t know yet that it was a body.”

  “Oh, they’ll know, all right. I just wish I could keep this from my husband. Oh, and thanks for letting me know.”

  “Sure.”

  When I ended the call, I felt like Benedict Arnold and Judas Iscariot rolled into one. I literally tattled on an eleven-year-old boy. On that sour note, I took one of Fred’s sandwiches out of the fridge and choked it down with a Coke. I wasn’t in the mood to work on my screenplay and it was too early to settle on the couch and channel surf.

  With at least another two and a half hours of daylight and a Plott hound that was getting lazier by the minute, I did the only sensible thing—I took Charlie for a long walk through our vineyards, unaware that he’d pull up a piece of evidence that would link the body in the woods to more than Lake View Winery.

  Chapter 7

  “Don’t go near that dead thing!” I shouted. “Drop it! Drop it now!”

  A nasty-looking rat or mole carcass dangled from the dog’s mouth and Charlie wasn’t about to give it up. I took a step toward him but he bolted and took off, returning a few seconds later with something else in his mouth.

  This time it was a fairly new baseball hat with the Speltmore Winery logo on it. The rim looked as if it had been trampled by a herd of cows but the rest of the hat appeared to be new. Its bright red color hadn’t started to fade due to the sun.

  “Give me that,” I directed the dog. This time he acquiesced. “Guess someone will have to buy a new hat, huh, dog? I suppose we can set it out in our lost and found since most visitors frequent more than one winery on the trail.”

  When I got back to the house, the landline’s answering machine light was flashing and I pushed the message button. It was Godfrey and I remembered I was supposed to call him. His message was brief and to the point—“Call me, huh? Did the sheriff’s deputies identify the body?”

  I immediately returned the call. “So sorry, but after I went to the tasting room to tell the staff what happened, I came home and called Eli’s house. His mother all but had a meltdown.”

  “Can’t say I blame her. What mother wants to hear their kid found a dead body? Any idea who it was? I mean, maybe it was a missing person the sheriff’s office was looking for.”

  “No idea. And I can’t call Gladys Pipp because she’s not working tomorrow. She told me she was off on Sundays when I ran into her at Morgan’s Grocery in Penn Yan, which by the way is running a sale on its subs.”

  “You’re lucky you’ve got a good information source at the Yates County Sheriff’s Office.”

  “No kidding. Gladys is the only person who doesn’t have a perpetual scowl on her face. And she really dishes out the intel when I bring her Francine’s jellies or jams. And, since she’s the secretary, she always knows what kind of mood Grizzly Gary is in.”

  “Yeah. About that, don’t be surprised if he pays you a visit for an official statement.”

  “Oh, trust me, he will. At least this time the victim had nothing to do with me or Two Witches Winery. Still, I’m curious as all get-up-and-go, so first thing Monday I’m calling Gladys.”

  “Whatever you do, stay out of it. You don’t need to add more drama to your life. Enjoy the next few weeks before you go back to the city.”

  “Easy for you to say. I’m missing out on a beach weekend at the Hamptons and all sorts of stuff. In fact, the high point of this coming week is the WOW meeting at Billsburrow Winery.”

  “Take notes. Maybe you can use it in one of your screenplays.”

  “Highly doubtful. The Wineries of the West, or should I just say WOW, are notorious for gossip-sharing and rumormongering. Still, it was a good idea for the six neighboring wineries to form our own close-knit circle. And Madeline Martinez does put out some fabulous cookies.”

  “See, you’re having fun already. Keep me posted if you find out more about the body. And if the sheriff’s office calls one of our forensic entomologists on the case, I’ll let you know.”

  “Sounds good. Thanks, Godfrey.”

  As soon as I got off the phone, I gave Charlie a handful of kibble and, still hungry, stuck a Stouffers eggplant parmesan in the microwave for myself. Eight minutes later I chomped down on the soft chewy cheese and tasty eggplant before plunking myself on the couch with my laptop. Like it or not, the screenplay wasn’t about to write itself. At a little before ten I switched on the TV, only to be astounded by Cara and Kenneth on Channel 13’s nightly news.

  “Did the sheriff’s office in Yates County indicate any signs of foul play, Kenneth?” Cara asked.

  “My notes call it a suspicious death, but that could mean anything. For our viewers who just tuned in, a body belonging to a middle-aged male was found in a wooded area on Seneca Lake across from Lake View Winery. Cause of death is under investigation and no identification has been made. If you have any information you are asked to contact the Yates County Sheriff’s Office. The number is at the bottom of our screen. And now, on to the July Fourth acti
vities in our region. Let’s begin with Seneca’s Lake’s ‘Lights Around the Lake.’”

  I lowered the sound and stared at the screen. Snapshots of Seneca Lake followed one another as the TV anchors told their audience about the wine trail’s official welcome to summer. Wineries, businesses, cottages, and camps purchased red lights and placed them all around the lake. As soon as it was dusk, the vision was spectacular. In addition, a number of lakeside bars and restaurants held their own celebrations. Unfortunately, I knew all too well what was about to happen—the area across from Catherine’s winery would become the latest hotspot for lookie-loos and curiosity seekers. At least they wouldn’t be trampling in her vineyards.

  The next morning, I moseyed down to the winery at a little past ten. The bowl of corn flakes I’d eaten two hours ago barely made a dent in my hunger, but one of Fred’s breakfast paninis was bound to do the trick.

  I handed Lizzie the red hat Charlie found and asked her to put it in the lost and found. Then I headed straight for the bistro. No sooner had I said hi to Fred and asked for a bacon, egg, and cheese panini than Clarence, the deputy I sort of met yesterday, approached me.

  “Uh, good morning, Miss Ellington. Maybe you remember me from yesterday. I’m Clarence Eustis and Deputy Hickman sent me here to get an official statement from you. I already got one from Theodore Buchman next door. Is Norrie short for a full name? I’ll need your full name.”

  “Norrie is my full name and I don’t know what I can tell you that I didn’t already tell you and your boss yesterday.”

  “He needs it in writing. Do you mind?”

  Like I have a choice.

  “That’s fine. I’ll get us some coffees and you can take more notes. Did you want anything to eat?”

  “I can’t be seen eating on the job but coffee is fine.”

  I did a mental eye roll and motioned Clarence to a bistro table off to the side. Then I quickly asked Fred to bring us some coffees.