The Fall of a God : An Enemies to Lovers High School Romance (The Boys of Clermont Bay Book 2)

by Holly Renee

  She hadn’t, but I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want to think that he had any sort of upper hand when it came to her.

  "The only reason she’s still here is because that’s the only way she gets to keep those things. If she doesn’t graduate, they’re mine. If you don’t leave her alone, they’re mine."

  "I don’t want to leave her alone," I said to his back, and he paused.

  "Then you don’t care about her at all." He looked back over his shoulder at me. "You’ve already shamed her beyond repair. What do you think she’ll do when she finds out that you were only pretending to want her again to ruin her further? When your plan all along was to make her lose everything?"

  "That’s not true."

  "The truth doesn’t matter, boy. Not after all the lies you’ve already told."

  I knew what he said was true. She would have absolutely no reason to believe me over him. Not after everything I had already done.

  I stared up at the house with my hands clenched into fists. Her father was cruel, but I knew he wasn’t lying. Josie was going to leave this place and I would stay here. She was going to move on with her life, and she was going to fucking hate me if I had some part in taking away the things she wanted most.

  I knew that.

  Especially after this weekend and hearing her talk about how badly she missed her mom. After hearing her talk about her home.

  My heart raced in my chest and every part of me wanted to run into her house and pull her away. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and protect her from any and everything that could ever harm her, but I knew that I couldn’t.

  I knew that I had harmed her almost as much as the others.

  And that thought sobered something inside me.

  And I knew what I had to do.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Josie

  I couldn’t stop smiling.

  I knew how stupid that sounded, but it was true.

  Not even my dad or Lucas could knock the smile off my face. Even though my dad had been looking at me like he hated me since the moment I first ran into him on Sunday evening.

  No one had been around when I got home. No one had even cared that I had been gone, and I knew that he had no idea where had been. He had no idea that I had just spent the entire weekend with the boy he told me I was not to see.

  He had no idea that I had just fallen so far for the boy who I knew wasn’t good for me that there was no way I could stop.

  Not now.

  It didn’t matter what my father had threatened. It didn’t matter that I could potentially lose everything because of Beck. I had fallen for him, and there was nothing else that mattered. There was nothing that could make me feel otherwise.

  My stomach was in knots as I walked through the front doors of Clermont Prep. I was no longer the new girl or the girl who had been fucked over by the Gods of Clermont Bay. I was Beck Clermont’s girlfriend, and somehow that made me forget that I ever gave a shit what any of these people thought about me.

  The way they watched me and whispered and talked. I didn’t care about any of it anymore.

  I was Beck’s and that was all that mattered. I was his, and I couldn’t see anything past that.

  "Oh my God." Frankie leaned back against the locker next to mine and rolled her eyes. "I’m so sad the weekend’s over. It felt like it went by so fast."

  "I know." She had no idea. It felt like it had flown by for me and Beck, and those few small moments that we managed to sneak away from everyone.

  The small moments that seemed to change everything.

  "I wish we could go back every weekend." I grabbed my books out of my locker and stuffed them into my bag.

  "Me too." She sighed and looked over at me. "Have you seen Beck today? He left early this morning for baseball workouts."

  "No." I shook my head and closed my locker. "And I passed out so early last night that we didn’t even get a chance to talk."

  "It’s not like you all did much talking this weekend anyway." She waggled her eyebrows at me, and I smacked her arm as she giggled.

  "We did plenty of talking, thank you."

  "Oh my God. Yes." Frankie ran her hand over her neck dramatically. "That is not the kind of conversation I was talking about."

  "You’re an ass." I laughed and lifted my bag onto my shoulders. "For your information, we talked about a lot of things."

  "Like whether or not you two are official?"

  "Yes. Like that."

  "And?" She leaned closer to me, and I knew that she was dying for the answer.

  "We are."

  "Oh my God!" she practically squealed. "Thank you!"

  "Do not be so dramatic." I rolled my eyes and pushed off my locker to head to my first class.

  "I am not being dramatic. You have no idea how terrible Beck was when you were mad at him. He’s been moodier than he was when he hit puberty."

  "Don’t blame me. I think he’s just generally moody."

  "That’s true, but you got him all in his feels and he was extra peachy."

  I couldn’t help but laugh. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be his sister. To live in a house with him and have to deal with his intensity all the time.

  "I’m just glad the two of you have finally worked your shit out so I don’t have to deal with his attitude anymore."

  I smiled, but it quickly fell from my face. As soon as Frankie and I rounded the corner, there stood her brother, in all his perfect fucking glory, with Cami leaned up against him. And it wasn’t just her. She wasn’t just leaning up against the guy who I thought had belonged to me. She was welcomed there. He was leaning back against the wall with one of his hands resting on her hip, and he was watching her like he had never seen something so riveting.

  Like he hadn’t just spent the weekend making me feel like I was the only girl he saw.

  "Are you freaking kidding me?" I heard Frankie’s words, but I didn’t look at her. I didn’t take my attention off Beck for one second.

  I didn’t want to miss a moment of what he was doing to me. I didn’t want to allow myself to forget who he really was.

  Because I knew I would.

  I already had.

  Beck had shown me who he was time and time again, and I never believed him. I never believed that he could be this guy he pretended to be in front of everyone else. Not when he was so different with me.

  But I was an idiot.

  And I knew I should have just walked away. I should have turned my back on both of them and never looked back, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t just stand there and let him make me look like a damn fool again.

  I couldn’t let him think he could get away with whatever he wanted without any consequences. I didn’t care if that was how this town ran. I didn’t.

  I wasn’t this girl.

  I wasn’t someone he could continue to play.

  Frankie was talking to me, but I didn’t hear a word of what she was saying. My head was spinning, and even though I hated it, he was still the only thing I could see.

  "Oh hey, Josie." Cami’s voice was full of honey and vinegar, and the sound of it snapped something inside of me. She was the only thing that seemed to pull my attention off of Beck and where his hand still rested on her body, and it only took a second before I knew that I was losing control.

  Cami was the last person I wanted to see. She was the one person I never wanted to see Beck with again, and seeing her there like this when he was supposed to be mine. It broke something inside of me.

  I felt Beck’s gaze as I made my way toward them, but I didn’t spare him another glance. Not as I reached forward and grabbed Cami’s wrist. I pulled her toward me and as far away from him as I could, and I didn’t stop until she was out of his reach and stumbling on her feet.

  "What the fuck do you think you’re doing?" she yelled at me as I pushed forward and backed her into the lockers behind her.

  I was in her face, and I was so fucking angry. "What am I doing? What the
fuck are you doing?"

  She cocked her head to the side even though there was a flash of fear in her eyes. "Aww, honey. I told you that he couldn’t be trusted." She lifted her hand and ran it over my trembling bottom lip. "Don’t take it so personally."

  My heart was thundering in my chest as I watched her. As I watched this girl who thought she was better than me, this girl who was taking away the one thing that felt right.

  I didn’t know what came over me as I grabbed her retreating wrist in my hand and used it to slam her body back into the lockers. The look of shock on her face fueled me. It made me feel like I was more than this pathetic, broken girl that they were making me out to be.

  "Fuck you, Cami. You think you’re better than me, but you’re nothing but trash."

  "But I’m the trash Beck actually cares enough about to be seen in public with, right? How was your little secret weekend away? Did he convince you that you meant everything to him? Did he tell you everything he needed to get right back between your legs?"

  "At least he’s the only one I’m fucking. What about you? Does your other guy like to be seen with you in public or does his wife have a problem with that?"

  I didn’t know why I didn’t see it coming, but I never thought she would slap me until I felt the sting across my face. It only took a second to register before I was on her. Before I knew what was happening, I had her hair in my hand and she had mine, and I slammed my fist down against her jaw.

  I had never fought with someone before. Not like this, and even though I had no idea what I was doing, I couldn’t stop. She was as angry as I was as our hands and fists slammed into each other, and I couldn’t help wondering if maybe she cared about Beck far more than she let on.

  I could feel someone tugging on me from behind, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.

  Cami landed a blow to my jaw, and I winced as the pain lanced through me.

  But I didn’t let it stop me. I took everything out of her. Every bit of hurt and anger that I had been bottling up since I came to Clermont Bay was pouring out of me, and I wanted to tear her apart.

  She seemed every bit as eager to destroy me too. Our hands and fists flew in the air, and I could barely tell what was happening beyond the contact of my hands hitting her and hers hitting me.

  I was jerked away from her, and I pushed the hair out of my face just in time to see Carson pin her up against the locker to keep her from getting to me.

  "Fuck you, Josie. You are so fucking dead."

  "Go suck a dick, Cami. Isn’t that your specialty? Surely someone around here has a life you can ruin." The arms around me tightened and pulled me further away from her. I fought against the grip, wanting to get my hands on her just one more time.

  "Stop." Beck’s voice was in my ear, and I went stock-still against him as he pulled me down the hallway.

  I didn’t want his hands anywhere near me, not now, not when he was standing there with her like this past weekend hadn’t meant anything at all. Somehow I felt more betrayed now than I did when that stupid video was posted, and I knew why.

  I knew the reason, but I hated it.

  I was in love with Beck Clermont, and I was still nothing but a game to him.

  I was nothing more than whatever he chose for me to be.

  And I hated him for it.

  That was the thing about him. Since the moment I met him, I had never felt neutral. Not one single part of me. My feelings for him were always extreme, and he was the one who controlled them. He was the one who determined whether I hated or loved him, and it had come from some sick game to him.

  I could flip from one feeling to the next so easily, and he knew it. I had become just like the rest of the people in this town, so infatuated with this boy who didn’t deserve it, and I couldn’t bring myself to fight him as he pulled me into the girls’ bathroom and away from the scene I had just caused.

  He dropped me to my feet, and I tried to catch my breath as he started pacing up and down the length of the bathroom. I had no idea what the hell he had to pace about, but I was trying to calm my racing heart, and he was doing nothing but fueling my anger.

  I closed my eyes, and all I could see was him and her.

  I could just imagine the two of them talking about this weekend. Talking about the way he made me fall for him like a damn fool.

  Because I had.

  I had fallen for him so damn hard that I knew I couldn’t just walk away. I would never be able to walk away from him and not lose some part of myself.

  Because he had stolen it.

  He had stolen a part of me I would never get back, and I hated him for it.

  "Get out."

  I opened my eyes, and he was staring at me. He was running his fingers through his hair, and I knew that there was probably some slick line on the tip of his tongue that would make me question whether or not he was truly capable of breaking my heart, but I didn’t want to hear it.

  I couldn’t hear it or I would let him win.

  Again.

  I would continue to let him take more and more from me even though I knew he wasn’t worth it.

  "Josie." His voice was broken and unsure, and it shouldn’t have made my chest hurt, but it did.

  It ached and my stupid heart begged me to look up at him and listen to what he had to say. Fighting it was almost impossible, but I had to do it.

  I had to fight against every instinct that told me that he really loved me because he had made me believe that. He had made me believe it so well that even he couldn’t seem to convince me otherwise.

  Even when the proof was right in front of me.

  I swallowed down a gulp of air and pushed my pride down with it. I didn’t have the luxury of being a stupid girl. I needed to get my head on straight and forget that he ever existed.

  "I said get out." I finally looked up at him, and I hoped he could see how angry I was. I hoped he knew that I was no longer going to be a part of his fucked-up world.

  "Fuck." He reached out for me before thinking better of it and clasping his hand into a fist. "I just… I can’t…"

  "Then don’t." I could feel every part of me shaking. "Just leave and go out there and check on Cami. God knows you're dying to find out if she’s okay."

  "If I wanted to be with Cami, I would be, but I’m here with you."

  "So that’s supposed to mean something?" I yelled at him, and I knew that I probably looked crazy. I could feel my hair sticking to the side of my face and my uniform was completely disheveled. "You don’t get to choose when you want me or don’t want me, Beck. That isn’t how this works."

  He was watching me, staring at me like he was dying to say something that would actually fucking mean something, but instead, he said, "You’re right."

  You’re right.

  Those two words echoed over and over in my head, and I tried my hardest to make them stick.

  No matter what he said after this moment, I needed to remember that I was right, and I deserved more than whatever parts of himself he was willing to give me.

  He started to walk toward the door, and I should have let him leave. I should have kept my mouth shut and let him walk away.

  But I didn’t.

  "You’re a fucking coward."

  He stopped in his tracks, his body perfectly still besides the rapid push and pull of his breath, and I waited for him to say something. To say anything.

  I wanted him to yell at me, to tell me that I was nothing more than what he had made me; I wanted him to fuel this fire that was raging inside me, that would instill that I didn’t forget how much I hated him, but he did none of those things.

  He simply stood there for a moment with his back toward me, then he walked out the door as if I didn’t matter at all.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Beck

  Josie wasn’t going to make anything easy on me.

  Not that I had expected her to.

  Not after everything I had done.

  And I couldn’t tell h
er. I couldn’t explain that I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anyone in my entire life, but I couldn’t have her.

  That I cared about her too much to have her.

  Because I knew that she would choose me. If she was given the choice of me or everything her father threatened to take away, I knew that she would choose me.

  She would choose me, and I would never forgive myself for it. Even if that meant I had to hurt her now. I knew that her mother’s house was far more important to her, and I wouldn’t be the one to take it away.

  If Mr. Vos did that, it would be all on his own.

  I would have nothing to do with it.

  Even if every moment of every day had me dying to talk to her. It had me dying to call her and beg her to forgive me just one more time.

  I couldn’t do it.

  Not when I knew that it would hurt her far worse.

  I walked out of my dad’s office, and I dragged my feet as I headed into the kitchen. My dad needed some paperwork from the kitchen manager, but I knew that Josie would be there. Even if she hated me, she hadn’t given up her job, and I wasn’t surprised when she had shown up on time this morning and looking like she hadn’t been affected by what had happened between us at all.

  Except for the fading bruises on her jaw that she tried to cover with makeup.

  She hadn’t looked at me when I saw her then and she still wasn’t looking at me when I pushed through the kitchen doors. She was wiping down silverware, and as soon as she noticed me, she stared down at the fork in her hand as if the task took all of her attention.

  I wanted to walk toward her and demand she look at me. I wanted to kiss that bottom lip that she constantly worked with her teeth when she was anxious, and I wanted to remind her exactly who we were.

  Want, want, want. That was all I could see. My want for her. My need.