Chapter 12
Avery
If I had any doubts about how the short time with Walker had affected Gracie, they’re extinguished by how cranky she is in the days following his departure. She may only be a baby, but she can certainly tell when her world is not as it should be.
I rock her back and forth, jiggling her in my arms and shh-ing with all my might, but nothing helps. Like me, she’d gotten used to having him around and now she doesn’t like it when he’s gone. Her face is flushed red and angry tears leak from the corners of her eyes. Nothing has ever made me feel as helpless, not even being in the middle of a hurricane, as not being able to comfort my baby.
Kissing her forehead, I murmur, “I understand, honeybee, but Daddy had to go fight fires. He’ll be back in a few months to see you. He promised.”
I’d come to the realization after we kissed that if I truly cared for Walker like I thought I did, then that meant I had to give him the space to come to terms with being a father on his own. I couldn’t force a happy relationship with Gracie—or with me—not after I’d stolen it from him in the first place. I would do my best to facilitate, but it would be up to him.
“It’s the right decision,” I tell the fussing baby. “You’ll understand when you’re older. God, what a total mom thing to say.”
Eventually, she settles down into a fitful sleep on my chest. I park myself on the couch to give us both some rest before my next shift at work. Gracie will be going back to the evening daycare, which I’m already dreading, but it is what it is. Life goes on. As evidenced by the healing community around me every day, life goes on, but only if you put in the effort.
Gracie fights me at drop-off, and I arrive at the restaurant already ready to go home. I’m not in the mood for the rude, entitled customers or the grabby hands, but I have a baby to raise and Grandma Rosie’s night nurse isn’t cheap, even after her insurance pays their portion.
Life goes on.
The thought rolls around in my brain over and over.
Life goes on.
Before Walker, I was passing through the days and weeks and years, just trying to keep my head above water. That one night with him had been like a buoy, reminding me I didn’t always have to struggle through it alone. Even through the trials of pregnancy and birth, I’d held on to the feeling of having his arms around me, protecting me. Sheltering me. It’s the safest I’ve ever felt.
I shake my head and try to clear it of thoughts of him. My eyes catch on a customer and I nearly do a double take until I realize I’m not seeing things. Either Walker has a twin or he’s sitting at the same table he’d been at the night we first met.
Still thinking I’m dreaming, I walk toward him in a daze. “Walker?”
His mouth lifts in a half grin, no doubt at my dumbfounded expression. “You look surprised to see me.”
Surprised doesn’t cover half of it. I’m still not certain I’m not hallucinating. Gracie has been teething, so sleep has become a thing of the past. Hallucinations wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility. “W-what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be halfway to Colorado by now. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.” He pulls me down into the chair next to him. Well, I felt his hands on mine. They felt real enough. So he’s not a sleep-deprived hallucination, but still, I’m left with more questions than answers.
“Then what are you doing here?” My brain can’t quite catch up with reality. Much like the day after the storm when he’d appeared out of nowhere, my thoughts seem to keep misfiring. “Was your flight canceled?”
At this he smiles again, which doesn’t help my cognition one bit. “No, it wasn’t canceled. I didn’t get on it.”
“You’re not making any sense. Explain it to me in small words because I’m afraid I may be having comprehension issues. I thought it was what you wanted. Why wouldn’t you get on the plane? You said yourself you worked for it your whole life. It’s everything you ever wanted.” I don’t know why I’m arguing—having him back is all I’ve been thinking about since he left. After what I put him through, though, I can’t fathom the thought of being the reason he walks away from something he loves so much.
“It’s just a job. If it was everything I ever wanted, it wouldn’t have felt so wrong taking it. Besides, before I left the fire department here offered me a position. Hell, they’re hurting for bodies now they practically begged me to take it.”
“I don’t understand,” I admit with a shake of my head. “Working at a small-town fire department isn’t the same as jumping out of planes into wildfires. Would that even make you happy?”
He lifts a hand to cup my nape and warmth spreads all over me. I didn’t think I’d ever feel that safe, protective warmth again. When I can meet his eyes again it’s through a haze of tears in mine. “It took the time without you to realize I don’t want to be anywhere if you and Gracie aren’t there.”
I can’t help the smile that spreads over my lips. Then I frown, demanding through a voice laced think with tears, “Don’t play with me unless you mean it.”
“I’m not messing with you. I mean it. Following my dreams doesn’t mean anything if I do it alone. It’s just going through the motions. I’m staying here in Battleboro. I want to be with you and Gracie.”
“Wait. Wait. You don’t have to do this because you think you have to. I told you I’d make your relationship with Gracie work. You don’t have to give up everything for me.”
“I’m not giving up anything. Having a life with you and Gracie—that’s everything. That means more to me than any job.”
“Are you sure?”
He leans forward, kisses my objections away. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
Later after the longest shift of my life, Walker pulls me into the house and shuts the front door behind me. Grandma Rosie is long since asleep and Gracie is knocked out after the ride back from daycare, so they aren’t disturbed when I giggle as he pushes me against the door and takes my mouth in a hot, sweet kiss.
“This is what I was hoping you’d do the night we met,” he says against my lips as fire burns me up from the inside out. “It was killing me not getting to taste you.”
His lips travel down my throat, making my reply breathless and desperate. “I wanted to so bad, but I chickened out.” His mouth finds mine again and I pant when he breaks free. “What else did you want to do?” I ask, wanting to torture us both a little. It’s been a long time…too long, but I want to make it last.
Walker grins wickedly. “Why don’t I show you instead?”
My throat goes bone dry. All I can do is nod my assent.
He leads me back to my room on the back side of the house where he patiently, competently strips me of my clothes. Spreading me out before him, he crouches between my legs like a man at a feast. My fingers fist in the comforter as his mouth explores the delicate flesh. My thighs begin to shake at his careful ministrations. When I attempt to vise his head with my legs, his strong fingers clamp down on the trembling muscles and hold me wide for his attention.
“Please,” I beg.
But if he hears me, he pays no mind. Clearly he also wants to torture us both a little…or a lot.
I toss and turn as he brings me to the edge and back again several times. It’s the most exquisite kind of torture. When I’m coated in a fine sheen of sweat, he finally pulls away to yank off his shirt and tug off his pants. Gloriously naked and hard, he climbs on top of me, fitting between my legs like he was made to be there.
When he slides inside me, it feels like coming home, like I’d been waiting for this moment since the morning when I’d left him asleep in that bed.
His fingers comb through my hair to grip my scalp and he says, “Look at me. I want you to look at me for this.” I think he means to look at him when I come, because God I’m close, but then he says, “I love you, Avery. I think I have since the night I met you.”
My heart stumbles and I grip him closer
to me. “You what?”
“You want to hear it again?” he says, his mouth teasing my ear. “Greedy.”
“It wouldn’t hurt,” I admit.
His smile strikes me in all the soft, tender places inside me. “You tell me first and I will.”
“You’ve already said it!” He slides deep and I groan. “Okay. You’re right. I love you, too. I think that’s why I ran the first time. You scared the shit out of me.” Then he kisses me hard and when I have a moment to breathe, I gasp. “We’ll talk later.”
And then he smiles and it’s blinding, and I realize we’ll have forever now for I love yous. For our family. For us.
Forever with him sounds like the best sort of beginning I could imagine.
Like a rainbow after a hurricane.
Epilogue
Walker
Gracie toddles along the beach, dark hair flying behind her. Avery had tried to tame it into pigtails, but the girl wasn’t having any of it. She gets her stubbornness from her mother and her fire from me.
The salty sea air carries Gracie’s pleased shouts to me several lengths behind them. When she glances back to look for me, then dashes off—content to find that I’m still there, I know I made the right decision, staying. I never would have forgiven myself for leaving her.
Or Avery.
“Are you gonna help?” Avery asks with an amused glance back at me. Like our daughter, she checks to see that I’m still there. She’s always pleased to find that I haven’t gone anywhere. I don’t mind. Avery hasn’t had a lot of people she can depend on. I get it now, having gotten to know her for more than a night together. She’s always had to rely on herself and she may not have made the best decision, but she did what she thought was right. I can’t fault her for that. I can’t say what I would have done in her situation. Scared. Pregnant. Alone. The weight of the world on her shoulders.
“You seem to have it under control,” I say. And she does, but she knows I’m always there, if not by her side then right behind her. She’s never had anyone else to depend on, but she can depend on me. And I’ll spend every last breath making sure she knows it.
“Fine, but you get naps today,” come her sassy response, then she’s off chasing after the little girl in a highlighter pink bathing suit.
Mexico Beach isn’t what it used to be. The coast had been wiped clean after Hurricane Michael. Homes, business, places the 850 made memories completely erased. The El Governor Motel, where I’d stayed a thousand times, was a husk of it’s former self. There aren’t many tourists now because there simply isn’t much to see. Swaths of beach bordered by wreckage. Maybe that’s why I like to take my girls here. Because it may not be pretty, but it’s home. Like Battleboro has always been home.
Our little town may have been hit hard, but it’s still standing, it’s people rebuilding stronger than ever. Sure, it’s not the 24/7 action I’m used to seeing as a Wildland Firefighter, but it suits me now, strangely. One of the guys at work, a real pain in the ass named Remington “Remy” Davis says it’s because I’m getting old and need to settle down. Hell, maybe he’s not wrong. Though his ass isn’t anywhere near settling down and he’s got a couple years on me.
Hell, maybe he’s right.
Of the small team at Battleboro Fire & Rescue, I was somewhat of an outsider. Remy and the other guys on my shift, Jackson “Jax” Grady, and our Captain, Ezekiel “Zeke” Ross, are lifers. They’ve been on a team for going on a decade. Even though I was the outsider, they didn’t really treat me like one. When I signed on to replace Tom Barry, who’d been killed during the storm, they welcomed me with open arms and a cold one.
Life couldn’t get any better.
Avery finally manages to catch up to Gracie and I smile as they tumble into the surf, giggling until they can barely breath. Their heads dip close together and they come up with identical mischievous grins. I think to myself the same thing I thought when I first saw Avery. I’m in trouble.
They break into a run and tackle me. I let them take me down into the white sand, not caring that water soaks into my collar and my shorts fill with damp sand.
“Gotcha, Daddy!” Gracie says through wild laughter. “We gotchu.”
I roll nimbly to my knees, picking Gracie up and tossing her into the air. She squeals and wiggles until I do it again. “Looks like I gotchu this time, Gracie-girl.”
I throw her until my arms go numb.
“‘Gain, ‘gain,” she begs.
“Sorry, baby, Daddy is worn slap out. Why don’t we find somewhere for lunch and a beer?” I suggest.
“Beer!” she parrots gleefully.
I shrug away Avery’s exasperated smile. “You can have one, too,” I say to placate her.
“Where should we go?” I ask Gracie as I tote her the long walk back to the car.
“Pizza!” she shouts so loud it makes my ears ring.
“Of course,” Avery says. “Pizza does sound great. I”m starving.”
“Pizza it is.” Whatever my girls want.
Crazy Beach Pizza is a short drive from the beach and we fall on slices oozing with grease and cheese like we haven’t eaten in a week. I wash mine down with a cold beer, then wait as the girls go for seconds.
My fingers play idly with the tip of Avery’s ponytail as she carefully cuts Gracie’s pizza into little bites. Man, I could get used to this. Two years later and I haven’t. I hope it always feels brand new. I hope there’s always a surprise, another adventure around the corner.
“What is it?” Avery asks.
“Nothing. Just…happy.”
“You mean you’re glad you got a beer,” she teases.
I kiss the smile off her face, until her eyes go dark with lust and her pizza drops to her plate. “It means I’m glad I’ve got you.”
“Me, too, me, too!” Gracie says until I give her a smacking kiss.
“I’m glad I’ve got you, too,” I tell her.
Acknowledgments
To the girl who spent her childhood buried in books, thank you for never giving up. For following your dreams.
To my mom, the best mother in the whole world. You’re always there when I need you, no matter what. I love you to the moon and back.
Afton and Charlotte, I hope you’re not reading this HAHA. I appreciate you for inspiring me to always do better, work harder. I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for you both.
To Charlie. Always! Life with you is better than books.
A huge thank you to the girls in Nicole’s Knockouts for motivating me each day to keep working and writing. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have you in my corner.
To the team who bring a book from production to publication including, but not limited to, IndieSage PR, editor Emily A. Lawrence, and the countless book bloggers and bookstagrammers THANK YOU!
About Nicole Blanchard
Nicole Blanchard is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of gritty romantic suspense and heartwarming new adult romance. She and her family reside in the south along with their menagerie of pets. Visit her website www.authornicoleblanchard.com for more information or to subscribe to her newsletter for updates on sales and new releases.
Also by Nicole Blanchard
First to Fight Series
Anchor
Warrior
Valor
Box Set: Books 1-3
Survivor
Savior
Honor
Box Set: Books 4-6
Traitor
Operator
Aviator
Captor
Protector
Armor
A Salvation Society Crossover: Reckless
The Hometown Heroes Series
Spark
Friend Zone Series
Friend Zone
Frenemies
Friends with Benefits
Box Set
The Lost Planet Series
The Forgotten Commander
The Vanished Specialist
The Mad Lieutenant
Journey to the Lost Planet (Books 1-3)
The Uncertain Scientist
The Lonely Orphan
The Rogue Captain
Return to the Lost Planet (Books 4-6)
The Determined Hero
The Arrogant Genius
The Runaway Alien
Saving the Lost Planet (Books 7-9)
Dark Romance
Toxic
An Immortal Fairy Tale Series
Deal with the Dragon
Vow to the Vampire
Kiss from the King
Standalone Novellas
Bear with Me
Darkest Desires
Mechanical Hearts
Spark (The Hometown Heroes Series) Page 6
