Careless

by Kelly Goode

  Lydia put her glass down when she heard the unmistakable scuffle of boots against gravel and then the rattle of the backdoor handle. She ran a hand through her dark hair as she greeted her visitor. Only it wasn’t Jonah like she’d hoped.

  It was Don.

  His hair was dishevelled and he was too busy readjusting the belt on his trousers to notice her at first. It was only when she made a sound suspiciously like a growl that he looked up, his eyes widening as if he’d been caught committing a crime.

  ‘I didn’t know you were home,’ he said, his eyes immediately narrowing as if she was the one in the wrong rather than him.

  ‘Clearly.’

  ‘Don’t take that tone with me, Lydia.’

  ‘Don’t fuck the neighbours then, Don.’

  The words slipped out before she could stop them and she slapped her hands over her mouth. She heard the venom within her tone and so did Don, as his face darkened and the tips of his ears turned red, which was a clear warning sign that she was in trouble.

  ‘Don’t tell me what to do.’

  The menace in his eyes was normally enough to curtail her response, but it felt as if someone else was forcing her to speak out. Adrenaline pumped through her veins and she felt braver than ever before.

  ‘I’m not telling you what to do, our marriage vows are. Love, honour, obey. Until death do us part, unless you’d rather not be married?’

  Don closed the distance between them and raised his arm as if to strike her. Her natural instinct was to cower, but the aggressive part of her that was now in control, welcomed the fight instead. Lydia’s fists clenched and she bared her teeth. A growl reverberated from her throat and Don stopped short of hitting her. He stepped back, his jaw slack as he stared at her.

  ‘That’s right,’ she snarled, her voice not even sounding like her own. ‘Back the hell up and listen to me. I’m sick of being your doormat. I’m sick of working my arse off day after day and then coming home to ungrateful children and a cheating husband. I’m sick. Sick of it all.’

  Don took another step backwards and she advanced. She felt powerful: powerful like a predator with its prey in its sights. Visions of her sinking her teeth into the side of her husband’s neck were too strong to ignore. She imagined tearing into his flesh and then swallowing it, but that brought back the taste of fox’s blood in her mouth and a wave of nausea hit her. She stumbled and Don’s large hands circled her slim wrists and squeezed so hard that her bones cracked against each other.

  ‘You’re right, Lydia. You are sick. Mentally ill. Billy called me and told me what happened earlier. I had to listen to my son crying down the phone because he’s scared to death of his mother.’

  ‘And yet it still took you over an hour to come home,’ she challenged. ‘Chelsea only lives two doors away.’

  Don didn’t like her response and shook her until her vision blurred.

  ‘Billy told me how you yelled at him like a lunatic. He thinks you’re having a mental breakdown. If I called the police right now and told them what you did, they’d take the kids away from you. Do you want that?’

  Lydia felt the fight leave her as quickly as it had arrived. Her wrists throbbed. She’d been foolish to think she could take Don on and win. She didn’t want to lose her kids. They infuriated her, but she still loved them.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered and Don’s face softened slightly.

  ‘I know you’re sorry. You’re my wife, and as you said earlier, that means until death do us part. I love you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fucking Chelsea. Maybe if you weren’t so frigid when it came to sex, I wouldn’t have to look elsewhere.’

  Lydia shook her head, as the thought of being intimate with him renewed the queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  ‘You don’t love me, Don. Not really. Wouldn’t you rather be free to pursue a real relationship? I know I would.’

  He laughed cruelly, as his lip curled into a sneer. ‘I don’t want a relationship with Chelsea. It’s just sex. She can barely look after herself. You’re my wife. It’s your job to maintain my home and raise my children. You should count yourself lucky that someone like me put a wedding ring on your finger in the first place. There wasn’t exactly of a queue of men waiting to take you out before I glanced your way.’

  ‘I hate you.’

  Lydia spat the words at him, as disgust once again flowed through her veins. She wanted to claw at her skin until she released the beast that lurked precariously close to the surface.

  ‘Now you’re just being dramatic.’

  ‘I want a divorce.’

  Don laughed louder.

  ‘You want a divorce,’ he mimicked in a high pitch voice. ‘What for?’

  ‘Because I don’t love you. I deserve better.’

  ‘I doubt there’s anyone else out there that would love an ugly, frigid, bitch like you. There’ll be no divorce. Together until death you said. That means the only way you’re leaving me is in a body bag, babe.’

  28

  Lydia opened the back door and tried not to make a sound as she stepped out into the cool, night air. Don had finished the rest of her wine as if they’d never argued and then gone to bed, leaving her with sore wrists and bruised self-esteem. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with fresh air and stared at the moon above her.

  ‘Why do you let him talk to you like that?’

  Lydia flinched at the voice that seemed to come out of the very darkness that surrounded her. It was familiar voice; one that she was equally happy and ashamed to hear.

  ‘Because he’s my husband.’

  It was a pathetic reply considering Jonah had obviously heard everything that Don had said to her, but Lydia was a pathetic human being. Stuck in a loveless, toxic marriage, and yearning for a man that wasn’t even a man.

  ‘I may not understand or value the human ritual of marriage, but I’m damn sure a man isn’t supposed to treat a woman that way. Whether she is his wife or not. Show me your wrists.’

  Jonah stepped out of the shadows and Lydia’s breath hitched. Maybe it was the wine she’d consumed earlier, but she felt heat rise immediately to her cheeks at the sight of him. She’d forgotten how tall he was, but Jonah’s giant frame didn’t frighten her like Don’s did. His grey eyes seemed to glisten beneath the moonlight. His handsome face was darkened with silvery stubble around his lips and under his chin. His expression conveyed anger, only for once in her life, she knew that anger wasn’t directed at her and she wanted to cry.

  She really was pathetic.

  ‘I thought you were going to call me,’ she said, holding out her wrists for him to examine. The skin was mottled purple from the force of Don’s hold, but at least he hadn’t broken her bones.

  ‘I didn’t have your number,’ Jonah replied, taking her hands in his and caressing the blemished skin.

  ‘Oh, yeah, right. I should probably give you that.’

  ‘Yes, you should, because you can call me anytime, you know,’ he replied, releasing her hands. ‘He pulls that shit again and I’ll be there. The only reason I didn’t beat down the door and intervene was because I was having trouble maintaining my human form.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Does that mean you avoided eating any foxes today?’

  His quip was supposed to make her smile, but it missed its mark.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she repeated, ignoring his question. ‘I’m sure you have somewhere more important to be; you should go.’

  Jonah raised an eyebrow and nodded towards her kitchen window. ‘Do you really think I’m leaving you alone with him?’

  ‘It was just an argument.’

  ‘You seem to have a lot of those.’

  ‘That’s not your concern. Maybe if you didn’t snoop in other people’s gardens…’

  Lydia didn’t get a chance to finish that sentence, as Jonah closed the gap between them with one stride and pulled her against him.

  ‘When it comes to you, everything is m
y concern and I wasn’t snooping.’

  His breath warmed the side of her face and she knew if she lifted her head even the smallest bit, their lips would touch. She wondered what they would feel like against hers. Would they be soft like a human’s or harder because he was an alien? She swallowed deeply, unable to control the frantic rise and fall of her chest. She once again blamed the wine for those thoughts and decided now was as good a time as any for a reality check. She couldn’t allow Jonah any deeper into her affection and she needed to make sure he understood that.

  ‘You told me you were an information merchant,’ she said. ‘That means you make your living collecting secrets, so whilst listening to other people’s conversations comes naturally to you, I’d prefer my private life to remain private. Whatever angle you’re playing with me, it won’t work.’

  ‘I would never sell your secrets, Lydia,’ he said softly, cupping the side of her face and sending a shiver down her spine.

  ‘I think you’d sell anything for the right price....even me.’

  Jonah pulled away as if she’d slapped him and began pacing her small garden. His eyes narrowed when he looked over his shoulder at her.

  ‘Did you mean what you said to your husband?’ he asked.

  ‘Depends what you’re referring to. That I hate him? Yes.’

  ‘And that you wanted a divorce,’ he added.

  ‘Yes, I do, but he will never agree to it.’

  Jonah seemed to consider her reply for a few seconds, as he stared up at her bedroom window where Don was sleeping inside. The muscle in his jaw ticked and the skin on his arms seemed to ripple. She had a vision of him changing into a jaktten and bursting through the window. She imagined him pinning Don down beneath his giant paws and ripping his throat out.

  ‘I want to kill him,’ Jonah said quietly and Lydia inhaled sharply, realising the vision had been a shared one.

  ‘You can’t just go around killing humans whenever you feel like it.’

  ‘If they hurt you, I can.’

  ‘I don’t know what your home planet was like, but that’s not the way it works on Earth.’

  Jonah shook his head. ‘Your husband said the only way you were leaving him was in a body bag, but I don’t think he considered that his death will give you the same freedom.’

  The mildness to his tone suggested he was seriously considering it and she reached out and touched his arm, as if physical contact might chase away his murderous intention. Jonah looked down at her small hand on his skin and growled. She recoiled, as she recalled all too clearly how his teeth had punctured her flesh.

  ‘Don’t do that,’ he demanded.

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘Act as if I’m going to hurt you.’

  ‘You did hurt me.’

  ‘That was a mistake.’

  ‘If that’s true, why does it feel as if you’re about to pounce on me at any second?’

  Jonah’s grey eyes darkened, as his gaze swept over her face and then settled on her mouth. She licked her dry lips and he growled again, only this time the sound held a huskier tone.

  ‘Maybe you’re right to be scared; I do want to pounce on you. I hardly know you, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you all day. Tell me I’m not crazy. Tell me you feel something between us.’

  Lydia wanted to nod, but refrained, as if the slightest movement would stop him saying all the things she’d only fantasised he’d say.

  ‘Normally I’d blame it on the jaktten mating instinct. Once it has you in its snare, it’s hard to ignore,’ he continued. ‘But with you, it’s different. Can you feel my jaktten calling to yours?’

  ‘I’m not a jaktten.’

  ‘You’re not entirely human either.’

  Jonah bent his head and pressed his nose against the side of her neck, causing an answering throb between her legs.

  ‘I can scent your arousal,’ he murmured against her skin. ‘I bet your good-for-nothing husband doesn’t make you this wet.’

  Whatever trance Lydia had been lured into waned. She was a married woman, whether she wanted to be or not, and yet she was practically melting against another man. Her husband didn’t stand a chance of competing with Jonah when it came to arousing any of her body parts.

  ‘Fuck you,’ she said, feeling a surge of aggression meld with her desire. ‘You can’t speak to me like that.’

  Jonah grabbed her around the waist and pulled her deeper into the shadows. Before she could even protest, he’d pushed her against the wall of her house and angled his body so she couldn’t escape.

  ‘Say that again,’ he demanded.

  Lydia stared up into his eyes, which had changed from grey to amber. She couldn’t make out his expression as it was too dark, but she could somehow scent his arousal too. It filled her senses and drove her body temperature higher.

  ‘Fuck you,’ she repeated half-heartedly this time.

  ‘Again with conviction.’

  She drew in a ragged breath, as his thigh pushed between her legs. It slid against the place that burned so hot for his touch, that she felt as if she might spontaneously combust.

  ‘Fuck you,’ she groaned, indulging herself with an image of them naked in a forest, bodies entwined beneath the stars.

  ‘Feels powerful, doesn’t it?’ he whispered. ‘Do you know what will feel even better?’

  Lydia wanted to grind her hips against his in order to alleviate the burn between her legs, but knew if she gave him even the slightest encouragement there would be no turning back, so she shook her head.

  ‘Saying it to your husband.’

  29

  Jonah listened to Lydia’s heart beating wildly inside her chest. He noted the changing expressions on her face, even if she couldn’t see his because of the darkness that enveloped them. He’d spoken the truth earlier. She wasn’t entirely human anymore. His saliva had infected her and caused her cells to mutate. She was part jaktten now, and that part wanted him on a physical level at least. What continually surprised him was how much he wanted her too. This small human, with her conventional dark hair and thin lips that never smiled, had woken an insatiable need in him.

  He wanted to make her smile.

  He wanted to kiss her.

  It would be so easy to lower his head and capture her mouth unaware, but she wasn’t his yet. She belonged to someone else; a spineless brute that didn’t deserve her. Maybe it would be better for both of them if he walked away before the bond grew any stronger. She wasn’t even his type. Hell, she wasn’t even his species. She was older and less amenable than his usual partners, but he wanted her like no other.

  ‘Let me go, Jonah.’

  Lydia’s whisper broke through his thoughts and he drew in a slow breath.

  ‘Are you sure that’s what you want me to do?’ he asked, deliberately rubbing his thigh between her legs. He felt her tremble against him and it was clear that she was as confused as him by the temptation.

  ‘I don’t know what I want anymore,’ she replied.

  ‘A new husband?’

  ‘It’s not as simple as that.’

  ‘It’s very simple. Tell me that you want me to take you away from all this and I will.’

  She groaned and rested her forehead against his chest. He could almost feel her indecision, as she processed his offer.

  ‘I don’t even know you,’ she finally said. ‘My family needs me. I can’t just leave them.’

  Jonah reluctantly eased away from her, forcing her to look up at him.

  ‘You’ll get to know me soon enough,’ he said. ‘I’m not going anywhere until we have a cure for your symptoms.’

  ‘I can do that alone.’

  ‘Yes, but without my jaktten DNA it’ll be harder. Where else will you find a willing alien to supply you with as much blood as you need to test? You need me. Tell me you need me.’

  Lydia’s brow furrowed, as if it had only just dawned on her that he was right. She was such a fiercely independent woman when it came to work, and yet
so unbelievably weak when it came to standing up to her husband.

  ‘Fine, I do need you. There, I said it. Are you happy now?’

  Jonah smiled and shook his head. ‘I’ll be happier when you say those words naked in my bed.’

  Lydia’s nostrils flared and her eyes widened in surprise.

  ‘You’ll be waiting a long bloody time for that,’ she grumbled, although he didn’t miss the way her nipples hardened in response to his words.

  ‘We’ll see,’ he replied, kissing her chastely on the cheek. ‘Now go inside and get some sleep.’

  ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘I’m going to stay out here and keep guard.’

  ‘All night?’

  ‘All night,’ he repeated.

  ‘Won’t you get cold?’

  He shook his head. ‘The way I’m feeling at the moment is anything but cold. If you need me, I’m here.’

  Lydia hesitated at first, but eventually slipped away from him and opened the door. Before stepping inside, she turned and smiled at him over her shoulder. It was a genuine, beautiful smile that sucker-punched him right in the gut. Once she’d shut and locked the door, he rubbed his hands over his face, as if that might somehow chase away the desire to follow her inside and show her how much he wanted to be with her. Jonah was in trouble - deep, deep trouble.

  He was falling in love with a human.

  30

  Carson spent more time peeling the label from her beer bottle than drinking the contents. The ticking clock on the wall matched her heartbeat. Patience wasn’t one of her strongest attributes and the longer she waited for Blake, the edgier she became.

  Finally, at the familiar sound of a key being turned in the lock, she leapt up from the sofa. She abandoned her bottle to the coffee table so she wasn’t tempted to hit it over his head when she saw him.