Careless

by Kelly Goode

  Her daughter chewed on her lip, as she hovered in the kitchen doorway. She was obviously anxious and Lydia’s earlier guilt resurfaced. She’d scared her kids when she’d lost control, which confirmed if she couldn’t regulate her emotions, she was a danger to everyone.

  ‘I’m sorry about what happened,’ Lydia said, holding back the tears that wanted to break free. ‘I’ll try to be a better mother. I promise.’

  ‘Don’t say that.’

  Freya’s voice was firm, but laced with emotion. Lydia lowered her eyes, unable to meet her daughter’s gaze, but looked up again when she felt her move closer.

  ‘I’m sorry too, mum.’

  Freya embraced Lydia and this time she couldn’t suppress the tears. She hadn’t hugged her daughter for years and it felt good to inhale her unique scent and kiss the top of her head like she had when she’d been a baby.

  ‘You have nothing to be sorry for, darling. I was wrong to lose my temper like that with you and your brother.’

  ‘Let’s be honest, mum. We deserved it. We’re brats. I’m sixteen years old and still throw temper tantrums like a toddler.’

  Lydia regarded her daughter through misty eyes.

  ‘If you know you do it, then why don’t you stop?’

  Freya shrugged. ‘I just want you to notice me sometimes.’

  Lydia felt her daughter’s words like a thump to her stomach.

  ‘I thought the distance between us was because you hated me like a typical teenager,’ she said. ‘I didn’t realise there was more to it.’

  Freya hugged her again. ‘I don’t hate you. I love you, mum. I need you more than ever. But let’s face it, you’re never here, and when you are, you’re a zombie.’

  ‘A zombie?’

  ‘It’s like your body goes through the motions, but your heart isn’t really in it.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Lydia said again.

  ‘Stop being sorry, mum. I know the work you do at the hospital is important. I know you save lives in the accident and emergency room, but we need you here too. Billy may act tough, but he cried himself to sleep last night.’

  Lydia opened her mouth to apologise but closed it again.

  ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘Actions speak louder than words. I’ll make it up to you and your brother. I promise. Tell me what you need. What can I do?’

  ‘Our family is broken and the first step to fixing it is to admit it.’

  ‘Your father and I love you both very much.’

  ‘You just don’t love each other anymore,’ Freya interrupted. ‘It’s ok to admit that too.’

  ‘I don’t love him,’ Lydia replied, feeling the need to be honest. ‘But that has nothing to do with you or Billy, so I don’t want you to feel like you did something wrong.’

  ‘Are you going to get divorced?’

  Lydia nodded. ‘I’ve wanted to ask him to leave for a while now, but your father isn’t making it easy. Things might get nasty between us and he’s going to try and twist it around so that I’m the villain. I haven’t been feeling myself lately and he may try and use that against me.’

  Freya’s eyes narrowed. ‘If dad thinks I’m going to take his side this time, he’s mistaken. I saw him.’

  ‘Saw him?’

  ‘With her.’

  Lydia covered her mouth with her hand. Freya had seen Don and Chelsea together.

  ‘I’m sorry, Freya.’

  ‘I told you not to apologise,’ she replied sharply. Her usually pale cheeks were now mottled and her thin shoulders shook with anger. ‘I saw them last night. Billy phoned dad and told him you’d had a go at us. He asked him, no wait, he begged him to come home, but dad said he was working and couldn’t get away. I watched from the window, waiting for him to come home so I could tell him what had happened, and then I saw him leaving THAT house.’

  Freya entire body now shook and Lydia tried to soothe her by rubbing her back.

  ‘I saw her kiss him on the mouth,’ she continued, each word seemingly harder to say than the one before it. ‘At first I thought he was going to push her away, but then he kissed her back. It was disgusting. Billy needed him and he lied about where he was. He doesn’t care about this family, so if anyone should be apologising, it’s dad. Not you.’

  39

  ‘Did the chief order everyone to submit a sample?’ Carson asked, as Adam searched for a suitable vein. It proved difficult with the maze of puckered scar tissue running up and down her arm, but he eventually pressed the needle into her skin. After being sliced and gouged by aliens over the years, the tiny sting barely registered.

  ‘Not everyone,’ Adam replied and his eyes darted left and right, as if afraid to make eye contact with her. Something was off with him. He usually tried flirting with her whenever they met, but seemed barely willing to hold a conversation today.

  ‘Is everything ok?’

  ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’

  ‘You seem a little nervous.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  Carson looked around the laboratory. ‘Where’s the dragon?’

  ‘Lydia went home. She’s ill.’

  Adam carefully inserted a vial into the syringe and collected her blood. Once it was full, he removed the needle and pressed a cotton wool ball against the pinprick wound.

  ‘I didn’t realise she had a home outside of this place,’ Carson said.

  ‘I’m not her keeper,’ he replied sharply. ‘She’s ill. She’s gone home. That’s all I know, so stop asking me stupid questions.’

  Adam labelled her sample while she pulled the sleeve down on her top. When it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything else, she headed for the exit, making sure her boots slapped loudly against the tiled floor.

  ‘I don’t know who or what put you in a bad mood,’ she said, ‘but be sure to tell the chief I was a good little girl and did as ordered.’

  ‘Wait, Carson,’ Adam called after her. ‘Come back, I’m sorry.’

  She turned to find him worrying his hands through his dark hair. His usual boyish grin was missing from his face. Instead, he looked like an old man carrying a burden.

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

  ‘I really want to, but I can’t.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I don’t want to lie to you.’

  ‘Does it have something to do with my blood sample?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Did you take Blake’s blood too?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘The chief said it wasn’t necessary.’

  ‘Why not?’

  He tugged on his hair again. ‘Please don’t interrogate. It’s been a hell of a week and I’m running on a few hours’ sleep a night. I promise as soon as I have something concrete, I’ll tell you.’

  Carson stared into his eyes. ‘Did you isolate the substance found on the rag in Doctor Malone’s basement?’

  ‘Yes, it’s alien DNA.’

  ‘But not desquamater.’

  Adam shook his head.

  ‘Did you check it against jaktten DNA?’ she asked.

  ‘We don’t have a jaktten sample.’

  She considered this. ‘What about the injured alien? The one Doctor Peters brought in. You took her blood.’

  ‘Hetti,’ Adam said. ‘Yes I did.’

  ‘Cross match her sample with the one in the basement.’

  His eyes flashed with renewed determination and some of the tension lines around his mouth eased.

  ‘You’re right. Thanks, Carson.’

  ‘No problem. I’ll leave you to it.’

  She opened the door to leave, but then shut it again as an idea took form.

  ‘Adam, if I was to somehow get a sample of Blake’s DNA, could you process it against the one from the basement too?’

  He frowned. ‘Why would you want to do that?’

  ‘To discount him from the investigation.’

  ‘The chief already made it quite clear that he was discounted.’


  ‘Please Adam,’ she said. ‘I have my reasons.’

  Adam stared at her and she tried to keep her expression neutral. Her reasons had nothing to do with the investigation and everything to do with the fact that the “rag” from Doctor Malone’s basement was actually Blake’s shirt.

  ‘It would be illegal and immoral,’ Adam finally replied. ‘I’ll do it.’

  40

  Lydia heard the front door open, so set down the magazine she’d been trying to read and met Don in the hallway. She stared at his handsome face, waiting for any small semblance of love to surface, but knew in her heart, any such spark had been extinguished years ago.

  ‘It’s quiet,’ he said. ‘Where are the kids?’

  ‘Staying with friends.’

  ‘Again?’

  ‘Yes, I wanted to speak to you alone.’

  Don headed for the kitchen and she followed.

  ‘We can talk later,’ he said, opening the fridge and taking out a can of beer. ‘What’s for dinner?’

  ‘I haven’t made you any dinner.’

  His eyes narrowed, as he chugged his beer and then crunched the empty can in his large hands.

  ‘What have you been doing all day?’

  ‘Working, but that’s beside the point. I won’t be making you dinner tonight or any other night.’

  ‘Of course you will. That’s what a wife does for her husband.’

  Lydia tried to ignore the knot of unease unfurling inside her stomach, as he advanced towards her.

  ‘I’m not making your dinner,’ she said as evenly as possible, ‘because I don’t want to be your wife anymore. Our marriage is over.’

  Don huffed. ‘Not this again. I already told you there’d be no divorce. The children will be devastated. Would you really put them through that?’

  Lydia thought about Freya’s earlier confession. Her daughter would support the separation, and even though it would break Billy’s heart to find out his parents were splitting up, she wanted Don out of her life.

  ‘It’s not healthy for Billy or Freya to live under the shadow of their parent’s toxic-relationship.’

  Don laughed cruelly. ‘Toxic relationship; what self-help crap are you reading now?’

  ‘You’re not welcome in this house or my life. I want you to leave.’

  Don rubbed his chin and Lydia noted the colour slowly rising from his neck to his cheeks. He shook his head and continued to stare at her.

  ‘Don’t tell me what to do, Lydia. I gave you everything and you repay me by throwing me out of my own home. I won’t stand for it. I’m not going anywhere.’

  Lydia took a step backwards. ‘You gave me Freya and Billy. For that, I’ll always be grateful, but our marriage is a sham.’

  ‘I love you.’

  ‘No, you don’t. I’m your comfort blanket; the thing you return to once you’ve had your fun and I won’t put up with it any longer.’

  ‘Where am I supposed to go?’ he asked.

  ‘I suggest you start with Chelsea’s house and figure it out from there.’

  ‘Chelsea’s a whore,’ Don sneered. ‘I don’t want to live with her.’

  ‘And I don’t want to live with you. I want more.’

  ‘What more could you possible want?’

  Lydia immediately thought about Jonah. ‘I want someone who genuinely cares about me. Someone who makes me smile and forces me to be the best version of myself.’

  ‘Do you think it’ll be easy to find someone to give a shit about a nobody like you?’

  ‘She already has.’

  At first, Lydia hoped she was hearing voices, but then Jonah stepped through the doorway. His giant frame dwarfed Don, whose face was now a dangerous shade of purple.

  ‘Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing inside my house?’

  ‘You left your front door open,’ Jonah replied. ‘But more importantly, I’m the man in love with your wife.’

  Don charged for Jonah, who easily side-stepped the rugby-tackle.

  ‘You’re leaving me for him?’ Don roared, taking another swipe at Jonah.

  Lydia shook her head. ‘I’m not leaving you for him, no matter what his ego may think. I’m leaving for me. It’s taken a long time to realise how miserable I am and all I’m doing is spreading that misery at home and at work. I deserve to be happy.’

  Don resembled a cartoon character. His eyes seemed to bulge from his head and she expected steam to come out of his ears at any second.

  ‘What does he have that I don’t?’ Don asked.

  ‘I was going to say a massive cock,’ Jonah replied before she could, ‘but now I’ve met you in person, I can safely say you win the award for the biggest prick.’

  ‘Jonah,’ Lydia cautioned. ‘That’s not helping.’

  ‘It’s helping me,’ he replied, his fingers curling into fists.

  ‘How?’

  ‘It’s stopping me from kicking his arse.’

  Don squared up to Jonah. ‘I’d like to see you try. Come and fight me, you son of a bitch.’

  ‘You heard what Lydia said. It’s over. I’m giving you one last chance to leave, before I lose my temper and throw you out.’

  ‘I’ll never leave; this is my house.’

  Jonah’s eyes glowed amber and he looked ready to pounce.

  ‘Fine, if you won’t leave then I will,’ Lydia said, but Don reached out and grabbed her arm, preventing her escape.

  ‘Don’t touch me,’ she warned, slapping his hand away. ‘Don’t ever touch me again. I expect you to have packed your stuff when I return tomorrow.’

  ‘I’m not selling the house. It’s my damn house. I paid for it. All of it.’

  ‘Our solicitors can sort out the finances. This doesn’t have to be messy.’

  ‘Oh yes it does. Mark my words. You’re going to regret this.’

  Lydia walked towards the front door, which was still slightly ajar, and she wondered if Don had really left it open or whether Jonah had broken in.

  ‘Goodbye, Don.’

  ‘Don’t walk away from me, Lydia,’ he called. ‘Don’t fucking walk away from me. No one leaves me. You’re my wife. I’m not giving up on this marriage.’

  Lydia didn’t reply and she didn’t slow down either. She suspected the only reason Don didn’t follow her was because Jonah was right behind her, and that was exactly where she wanted him.

  41

  ‘Maybe walking out wasn’t the most sensible option,’ Lydia said, as she wrapped her arms around her stomach and shivered.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I don’t have anywhere to go.’

  Jonah took her hand in his and kissed the underside of her wrist. ‘You can stay with me.’

  ‘I’m not sure that’s a sensible option either.’

  ‘Have you a better idea?’

  ‘I could probably sleep in the medical bay tonight.’

  Jonah shook his head. They were teetering on the edge of something special and he wasn’t prepared to let her go so easily.

  ‘I don’t think you should be alone tonight. It was a momentous step to leave your husband and I can sense your emotions are unstable. What if you ambush Adam again?’

  It was a bit low to use what had happened in the laboratory earlier against her, but Jonah wasn’t averse to using shady tactics to secure what he wanted, and he wanted Lydia tonight. She seemed to consider what he said as she repeatedly bit her lip to the point where he ached to sink his teeth into the plump flesh too.

  ‘I don’t want to be alone,’ she said slowly, ‘but I don’t want to be a burden either.’

  ‘Trust me, you’re not a burden.’

  ‘I do trust you,’ she replied, and he detected the hint of surprise in her tone. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘No need to thank me. You’re safe with me.’

  She stared up at him and raised her eyebrows. ‘Safe?’

  ‘Well not totally safe,’ he admitted. ‘But safe enough. I’ll ask Anderson to pick us.’r />
  Jonah pulled out his mobile phone and sent a quick message to his driver.

  ‘It’s late,’ Lydia said. ‘Won’t he mind?’

  ‘I pay him a lot of money not to mind,’ Jonah replied with an easy smile, but that faded when he took Lydia’s hand in his. ‘Why didn’t you tell me that your husband was having an affair?’

  ‘Discovering my husband prefers the company of other woman is not something I wish to broadcast.’

  ‘It’s not your fault.’

  She shrugged half-heartedly and Jonah squeezed her hand tighter in a sign of comfort.

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ he repeated.

  ‘Maybe not, but I should have asked him for a divorce years ago.’

  ‘Why did you stay?’

  ‘Mainly for the children’s sake, but also because a part of me was frightened that he was the only man that would ever love me.’

  ‘I love you.’

  She shook her head. ‘Don’t tell me you love me just to make me feel better.’

  Jonah wanted to tell her that she was way off the mark with that comment, but was halted by the arrival of a familiar black car. He opened the back passenger door and gestured her inside. She slid into the seat and he joined her. He liked the feel of her small body pressed against the side of him as he placed an arm across the top of the seat above her head.

  ‘Good evening, Mr Parish. Where would you like to go?’

  ‘Home, please.’

  ‘Very well, sir. Will the young lady be accompanying you?’

  Jonah nodded and the old man grinned at them through the rear view mirror. Lydia sank lower into her seat and lowered her eyes to the floor.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Jonah asked.

  ‘I was a little rude to your driver the other day,’ she whispered. ‘I told him in no uncertain terms that he’d never see me again.’

  ‘And I told her I had a feeling she was more than just one of your lady-friends.’ Anderson replied, proving there was nothing wrong with his hearing. ‘And I was right.’

  Lydia covered her face with her hands.

  ‘Look at me,’ Jonah demanded, but she shook her head.

  ‘No, I’m so embarrassed.’

  ‘If anyone should feel embarrassed, it’s me. Anderson just made it sound like I have a revolving door on my bedroom.’