Careless

by Kelly Goode

  ‘Is there anything I can do?’

  She noticed he didn’t reach for her hand when he spoke and while that pacified her request for space, it didn’t mean there wasn’t still a part of her that wanted him to hold her close and soothe her bruised self-esteem.

  ‘A lot happened tonight that I need to process,’ she said softly. ‘I think Anderson should drop me back to ISCU and I’ll spend the night in the medical bay like I first suggested.’

  Jonah shook his head. ‘Nope, no way, no. There’s not a chance in hell that you’re spending the night away from me.’

  ‘We both need time to think about what Tarik said.’

  ‘I don’t need time, Lydia. I need you. And whether you want to admit it or not, you need me too.’

  ‘It’s not that simple.’

  ‘Yes, it is.’

  This time he reached out and cupped her face with his large hands, and it took all her strength not to melt against him.

  ‘Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t be together tonight,’ he demanded, as his grey eyes drilled into hers.

  ‘I’m married.’

  ‘Only in the eyes of the law; you left that controlling, cheating, lying piece of shit so you’re single.’

  ‘I’m turning into monster.’

  ‘Through no fault of your own.’

  ‘There’s no cure.’

  He shook his head. ‘My feelings for you haven’t changed since I kissed you in the lift. Cure or no cure.’

  Lydia ignored the ache in her arms; arms that wanted to loop around his neck and hold him tight, but Janet had called it right earlier. She would never be enough for someone like Jonah and it was careless to think otherwise.

  ‘Stop doing that,’ he growled, wrenching her from her thoughts.

  ‘Stop doing what?’

  ‘Stop imaging me leaving when you haven’t even given me a chance to stay,’ he said, stroking the side of her face. ‘You’re trying to end this, before it’s even started.’

  ‘I’m not the woman for you,’ she replied.

  ‘I beg to differ.’

  ‘I can’t compete for your affection, Jonah.’

  He frowned. ‘I haven’t asked you to compete.’

  ‘Maybe you need to speak to Janet about that as she’s so important to you.’

  She hadn’t meant for her comment to sound so bitter, but Jonah heard it and his frown deepened.

  ‘What does Janet have to do with how I feel about you? I told you before she is just my secretary.’

  ‘She made it quite clear to me what she was to you. Even described your sexual relations in vivid detail and I don’t want to be just another distraction until you go back to her.’

  Jonah sat back and rubbed the silvery stubble on his chin. ‘Are you jealous?’

  ‘Not jealous - realistic.’

  ‘She’s my secretary,’ Jonah repeated firmly. ‘Yes, we used to fool around sometimes, but I’m not in love with her. If anyone has a right to be jealous it’s me. My perfect mate was already with another man when I met her.’

  ‘But I wasn’t in love with Don.’

  Jonah lowered his head towards hers and she closed her eyes. He kissed the side of her neck and she shivered, even though his lips were scorching hot.

  ‘And I’m not in love with Janet,’ he whispered against her skin. ‘I’m in love with you.’

  Lydia jerked away from him. It would be so easy to believe him. She needed to focus on something other than the desire in Jonah’s eyes.

  ‘Stop pushing me away, damn it,’ he said, grabbing her wrist in an attempt to stop her moving to the other side of the car.

  ‘I have to push you away,’ she replied.

  ‘Why?

  ‘Because otherwise I’m going to hold on and never let go.’

  ‘Never letting go sounds good to me, Lydia.’

  46

  ‘We’re home, sir.’

  It took a considerable amount of effort for Jonah to tear his attention away from Lydia, but eventually he met his driver’s eyes in the rear view mirror and smiled tightly.

  ‘Thank you, Anderson.’

  ‘Will you require anything else tonight?’

  Jonah looked back at Lydia for the answer to that question.

  ‘I don’t want you to go,’ he told her, ‘but I’m not going to force you to stay.’

  She maintained his eye contact as if searching for final reassurance, which she must have found as she nodded her head.

  ‘I’ll stay.’

  Jonah smiled. ‘I have everything I need right here, Anderson. You can go home.’

  ‘Of course, sir.’

  Jonah got out of the car and extended his hand to Lydia. He guided her towards his house and a sense of completeness settled around him when he opened the front door and gestured her inside. She belonged here with him. He just needed to convince her of that.

  ‘Make yourself at home,’ he said and she immediately gravitated towards the baby piano. She ran her hands reverently over the polished wood and Jonah felt a jolt of lust as he imagined her doing that to his cock. He cleared his throat as he followed her.

  ‘This is one of the only things that I remember from the last time I was here,’ she said. ‘Do you play?’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘Will you play for me?’

  ‘I’d do anything for you,’ he replied, sitting down at the stool and patting the space next to him. He held her gaze, as she inhaled and exhaled slowly. Her chest rose and fell in time with her shallow breaths and he knew she was deliberating whether to deny his advance or embrace it.

  For a split-second, he thought she was going to disappoint him, but then she smiled and sat down. Jonah lifted the lid that covered the keys and flexed his fingers. Anderson had taught him to play years ago, but it had been a long while since he’d entertained an audience. He started tentatively, not wanting to hit a wrong note, but after a while, the music took on a life of its own and his fingers moved faster across the white and black keys. He used the foot pedal to keep the notes soft in places and longer at other points. Lydia watched his hands in fascination, which encouraged him to show-off and use the full length of the piano to reach the crescendo.

  When the last note faded, he sat back and caught his breath. Energy pulsated through his body. The music had unleashed something inside him. Something he needed to sate.

  ‘That was amazing.’

  He didn’t give her time to expand on the compliment. He kissed her hard on her mouth, swallowing the rest of her words. His hands tangled in her hair as he parted her lips and she slid her tongue over his, stroking back and forth in a rhythm that replicated his music. He lifted her onto his lap so she was facing him with her legs spread over his thighs. His cock pressed into the heat between her legs, as he held her hips and eased her back and forth over his erection. The friction was enough for her to gasp and she pressed her breasts against his chest. He drank in the heady scent of her arousal, as she continued to roll her hips until he was worried he was going to climax in his trousers.

  ‘We have too many clothes on,’ he said between kisses. ‘Let’s go upstairs.’

  47

  It took all of Lydia’s courage to step inside Jonah’s bedroom. It was larger than the one she’d woken in a few days ago and she tried not to stare at the massive bed in the centre, knowing it was only a matter of time before she ended up beneath the sheets.

  The room was tastefully decorated in shades of grey, similar to his eyes, and she shivered when he stood behind her and traced his hand down the length of her spine. Watching him play the piano had been unbearably erotic. His fingers had moved up and down the keyboard, caressing the keys like a lover.

  ‘Relax,’ he whispered, as he unfastened the buttons on her shirt.

  ‘I’m trying.’

  He slid the material from her shoulders and kissed her collarbone.

  ‘You’re safe with me,’ he said. ‘You’ll always be safe with me.’

  S
he felt the last of her resistance dissolve as he removed her bra and threw it to the floor along with her shirt. She wanted him and there was no denying he wanted her too. The evidence was pressing against her lower back. He unzipped her trousers and slid them down her legs. The skin on her stomach and thighs were marked with silvery lines from when she’d been pregnant, but Jonah didn’t seem to notice. He kissed each section of her bare skin until he was on his knees in front of her. The only barrier that remained was her knickers and he looked up at her as if asking permission to remove them. She bit her lip and nodded.

  Jonah pressed his nose against the thin material and inhaled as if committing her scent to memory. The heat from his mouth caused a flood of moisture between her legs and she groaned. He slowly slid her knickers down to her ankles and she kicked them away. She expected him to stand up, but he remained on his knees. She cupped his face and rubbed the stubble on his cheeks.

  ‘I love you,’ he said.

  ‘I wish I believed you.’

  ‘I would never lie about that.’

  ‘You’re a harbinger of secrets. You lie all the time.’

  ‘If words are not enough, I’ll have to convince you some other way.’

  She was about to tell him there wouldn’t be another way, but his mouth settled over her and the words died on her lips. His tongue flicked against her clit and she cried out. His hands held her firmly in place while he explored that most sacred part of her and the rush of her orgasm caught them both a little by surprise.

  ‘God, Jonah. I didn’t mean for that to happen so quickly.’

  ‘I did.’

  There was a smug smile on his face when he stood up and scooped her off her feet. He carried her to the bed and laid her gently on top of the sheets. He didn’t speak as he removed his clothes and Lydia was mesmerised by the width of his shoulders and the definition of his stomach muscles. He was one sexy alien and for tonight, he was all hers.

  ‘I need you,’ he said, as he wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked it.

  ‘I need you too,’ she replied, opening her legs so he could settle between her thighs. He covered her smaller body with his and she felt him nudge against her.

  ‘I told you I’d hear you say that again when you were naked in my bed.’

  ‘Arrogance doesn’t suit you.’

  ‘Yes, it does.’

  Before she could come up with a witty reply, he pushed inside her. She groaned and accepted the intrusion, wrapping her legs around his waist. He thrust gently at first and then with more purpose. She raised her hips and he captured her mouth, kissing her until she was panting for breath.

  ‘You’re mine, Lydia. Tell me your mine.’

  ‘All yours.’

  Jonah kissed her neck and across her breasts. He built the tempo until she felt her toes curl with anticipation of another orgasm. She ran her hands over his shoulders and then down his spine. She pressed her short nails into his arse as he slammed his hips into hers. She closed her eyes and succumbed to the surge of electricity, which travelled up her legs and centred at her very core. Jonah growled her name when he climaxed and she held him tighter as she crested her own wave.

  ‘If you think I’m ever letting you go after that,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘You’re sorely mistaken.’

  Jonah rolled off her and settled on his back with one arm behind his head. He looked sexy as hell with his short hair sticking up at the front and a slight flush to his stubbly cheeks.

  ‘Why do I look like a sticky mess and you barely look as if you’ve broken a sweat?’

  He grinned. ‘Because that was just the warm-up.’

  ‘I’m certainly warmed up.’

  ‘And I was conserving my energy for round-two.’

  ‘When’s round two?’

  ‘Now.’

  She yelped as he pulled her on top of him. Sex with Jonah had been exactly as she imagined, pure and primal, but she hadn’t expected to have fun too. He was giving her every part of him and now she needed to do the same.

  ‘Before you wow me any further with your sexual proficiency, there’s something I need to tell you.’

  He pushed her hair away from her face and pulled her down for a kiss. She used the time to build up her courage for the declaration she knew he deserved.

  ‘I love you,’ she whispered against his lips. ‘I love you, Jonah.’

  Jonah stilled beneath her. Her stomach lurched, as she waited for the rejection she imagined him wording inside his head. The silence seemed to stretch between them like a physical entity and then suddenly he reared up and flipped their positions so she was beneath him again.

  ‘Say it again,’ he demanded.

  ‘I love you.’

  ‘Again.’

  This time he pushed inside her and her admission came out on a throaty exhale.

  ‘I love you, Jonah.’

  Sex was slower this time, where each kiss and every caress was another declaration of love. She spent the night in his arms and when the sun rose, she knew this was exactly how she wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of her life.

  48

  ‘You don’t have to do this alone,’ Jonah said, halting her attempt to open the car door.

  ‘Yes, I do,’ she replied, leaning across the seat so she could kiss him lightly on the lips. Last night had been one of the best nights of her life, but if she wanted to pursue a relationship with Jonah, she needed to ensure Don understood she was serious about a divorce.

  ‘If he touches you, I’ll tear his arms from their sockets.’

  She had no doubt that Jonah was capable of something like that, so she kissed him once more before getting out of the car.

  ‘I’ll meet you at ISCU later,’ she said through the open window. ‘Adam will have processed my bloodwork by then and we can compare the mutations in my cells to yours. I’m not giving up on a cure.’

  ‘I love it when you talk scientifically,’ he teased. ‘It’s such a turn-on.’

  She grinned and waved at Anderson as a signal he should drive away. The engine purred to life and the car moved slowly away from the pavement.

  Once it disappeared around the corner, Lydia let out a ragged breath and pressed her hand against her stomach. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about confronting her husband again. She opened the front door and called out that she was home. Silence greeted her and she let out a sigh of relief. Maybe Don had actually done what she’d asked and left without a fuss, but then she noticed his coat was still on the rack and his shoes were beside the door.

  ‘Don, where are you?’

  She tried the living room first, but the TV was switched off and the curtains were drawn. She found the kitchen empty too, but noted that the back door was ajar. She pulled the handle and found Don sitting at the garden table. He stared blankly at the birds in the trees and a familiar sense of guilt reared its head. He looked terrible. His usually ruddy complexion was sallow, as if he hadn’t slept at all since she’d left.

  ‘I asked you to pack your bags,’ she said softly and Don turned towards her. His movements were jerky, almost robotic. There was no expression on his face when he got to his feet and she followed him back inside the house.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Don said, and the words sounded strange to Lydia, as if pulled from somewhere deep inside of him.

  ‘What are you sorry about?’

  ‘Whatever you want me to be sorry about.’

  ‘It doesn’t work like that.’

  Don rubbed his chin and waggled his jaw left and right. He cracked his knuckles and stood to his full height, which was always considerably taller than hers.

  ‘Are you going into work today?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’d like to come with you.’

  She frowned. ‘You can’t come to work with me.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘It’s against the rules.’

  ‘A husband should take an interest in his wife,’ he said as if recit
ing from a textbook. ‘You save lives and this planet owes you a great debt.’

  She’d never heard him praise her work before. Occasionally he said nice things about her cooking, but never about her work. She stared at him, wondering what game he was playing. Did he think being nice to her would somehow save their marriage?

  ‘Don’t change the subject, Don. I want a divorce.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘We went over this yesterday. You had sex with Chelsea, you treat me like shit and I don’t love you anymore.’

  Don didn’t seem angry or even saddened by her words.

  ‘Ok,’ he said.

  ‘Ok,’ she repeated warily. ‘Are you agreeing to a divorce?’

  ‘Yes, after you’ve shown me your work, we’ll get divorced.’

  ‘I wish it was that easy.’

  ‘It can be easy.’

  ‘We’ll need to appoint a solicitor and sort out the finances. We should also put together a custody schedule for Freya and Billy.’

  ‘Freya and Billy?’

  Don said their names as a question rather than a statement, but she put it down to tiredness. She heard the front door open and then the familiar squabbling as their children stomped into the kitchen.

  ‘Hey, mum,’ Freya said. ‘Hey, dad.’

  Billy threw his overnight bag on the floor and helped himself to a glass of milk. His glare landed on Lydia and she steeled herself against the anger and hurt in his eyes. Once he’d drained his glass, he slammed it against the worktop.

  ‘I’m going to play on my computer,’ he grunted, but before he could escape, Don grabbed his arm.

  ‘Hold up, buddy. I was just talking to your mother about the amazing job she does.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘Wouldn’t you like to see her in action?’

  ‘No.’

  Don turned his attention to Freya, who usual stoic expression was now one of confusion.

  ‘How about you, cupcake? Do you want to see your mother saving the world?’

  Freya shook her head. ‘I’d hardly call stitching wounds and setting bones saving the world. And don’t call me cupcake. It’s weird.’