by Helen Lacey
Yet, oddly, sitting with him in the cafeteria, she’d never before witnessed him being so raw and vulnerable. And it made her love for him intensify. Particularly because she knew there was nothing more she could do to comfort him and his family except be there.
The clerk behind the counter said his order was ready and once it was paid for, they headed back. Annie waited with the Culhanes while David headed for triage to be with his grandmother and sister. Mitch arrived and Annie felt the incredible familial bond, confirming that the Culhanes and McCalls were a big and robust family, clearly capable of shouldering any tragedy together.
It was nearly four o’clock before Ivan was transferred to the ward. She visited him for a brief moment, preferring to let the family be at his side. And then knew what she needed to do.
“I’ll go back to the ranch and stay with the children,” she said to David when they had a moment alone.
He frowned a little. “Tess said she’d—”
“My sister has her own baby to look after,” she insisted. “The nanny clocks off at five thirty, correct?”
He nodded. “Yeah, but—”
“You stay here with Mittie and your sister and I’ll take care of the kids,” she suggested and squeezed his biceps. “You’re needed here, David. Let me know how he is when you can.”
David nodded and briefly touched her cheek. “Thank you.”
Annie left the hospital and headed directly for the hotel. She showered, changed into fresh clothes, then called Tess from the road via speakerphone and assured her sister she was fine to watch the children until David returned.
“That’s nice of you,” Tess said.
“Don’t read too much into it,” she warned her sister. “I care about Ivan and want to do what I can to help.”
“I’m pretty sure that it’s David you’re thinking about right now.”
Tess was right, but Annie wasn’t about to admit to anything. She was needed, end of story.
He’d called Mrs. O’Connell and told her she was coming and the new nanny briefly voiced her concern about Ivan—although not enough to remain after she clocked off for the day. She was a nice woman, but the role was clearly only a job to her. It made sense, since she had children and grandchildren of her own.
The kids of course were delighted to see her, and she was immediately dragged into their rooms in turn to be shown their latest books and artwork.
Scarlett grabbed her tiara and waved it. “Annie, do you think Pop would like to wear my tiara? Remember when I had chicken pox and I wore it and got better?”
“I’m sure he’d like that a lot,” Annie replied and took her hand, following Jasper to his room. Once they were there, Scarlett plonked herself in front of the fish tank.
“Is Pop going to be okay?” Jasper asked, biting his lower lip.
Annie sat beside him on the bed. “I think so. Your pop has a lot of people who love him and want him to get better. We just have to keep happy thoughts in our hearts, okay?”
“I’ll try,” he promised and then gave Annie a hug. “I always feel better when I talk to you.”
“I’m glad,” she said and blinked back the heat in her eyes. “You know I love you and Scarlett very much.”
“I know,” he said and smiled. “And you love Great-grandma Mittie and Pop and Aunt Leah, too?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
Jasper looked at her, his mouth at an angle. “And do you love Daddy?”
Annie had no way of getting into a complicated discussion about love and feelings with an eight-year-old, so she didn’t bother. “Of course I do.”
For a moment, he looked as though he had the weight of the world on his little shoulders. “I wish you still took care of us, Annie. I wish things were the same.”
Annie was tempted to offer some platitude about how life was about change and then realized the words would be more for herself than for the little boy she loved so much. She hugged him again and arranged bath time for both children before making a quick dinner of macaroni and cheese, followed by canned fruit with a dollop of ice cream. It was nearly eight by the time the kids were in bed. Scarlett fell asleep immediately, while Jasper dozed with a book in his hands. David had texted her after seven, saying he’d be home soon, but he didn’t show up until after eight thirty. He looked tired and spent when he walked through the front door with Mittie.
“Leah’s staying at Dad’s, she said she needed to feed the cat,” David said as they crossed the threshold. “Dad’s okay,” he added when Annie made a startled face. “Holding his own. He’s awake, although he’s having some trouble talking normally because of the paralysis. But he’s good considering what he’s been through. We’ll know more in a couple of days once the doctors see how he responds to therapy.”
“I’m beat,” Mittie said and sighed. “I’m going to turn in,” she added and hugged Annie. “Thank you for being an angel. I bet the kids were so happy to see you. The place certainly isn’t the same without you. Good night, try to get some rest, David.”
“I will, Nan.”
Mittie disappeared down the hallway and her footsteps quickly faded when she reached her part of the house. Annie looked at David and smiled. “I should get going. The kids are in bed and you look like you need to—”
“I’m too wound up to sleep,” he said and ran a hand through his hair. “But I need a shower, shave and a change of clothes. Then maybe we could hang out for a while. I just need... I think I just need to let off some steam, you know?”
“Are you hungry?” she asked. “I have some left over mac and cheese, or I could make a sandwich or something.”
His gaze was intense behind his glasses. “A sandwich would be great. And coffee? I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”
It was more like half an hour when he returned, looking refreshed and too gorgeous for words with his clean-shaven jaw, jeans, white T-shirt and loafers. Annie busied herself making the sandwich and coffee as he went around the counter and stood beside her.
“Thank you for watching the kids. I just checked in on Jasper and he said you talked to him about his grandfather—so thank you for that, as well.”
She nodded. “It was nice to spend some time with them.”
“I’m sure they appreciated it. The new nanny is—”
“An employee,” she said without accusation, cutting him off. “And not...you know.”
“Like you,” he said quietly. “Part of the family. An important part,” he added.
Annie’s eyes burned. It would have been so easy to slip back into the routine that used to be her life. So easy to forget the very reason she left in the first place. Because she wanted the moon and would never be content with only the stars. Even if those stars came in the shape of David’s amazing kids.
“Leaving them was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t make the decision lightly.”
“I know that, too,” he said. “You said you had your reasons.”
Because I love you, you big oaf.
“You sound as though you don’t believe them,” she remarked.
“That you want to get married and have a family?” he shrugged. “Sure I do. I get it. I just can’t believe you’d want to do it with some guy you’ve never met.”
Annie’s cheeks burned. Because the only man she wanted to marry and have a family with was the one standing beside her. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
He went to say something, then stopped, saying something else instead, she was sure. “It’s been quite a day,” he said wearily and rested his behind on the counter. “Nan’s right—you are an angel.”
“I’m not sure I—”
“You were wrong the other day,” he said, cutting her off with quiet intensity. “You’re not a consolation prize, Annie. A first prize.
And certainly much more than I deserve.”
Annie sucked in a shallow breath, conscious of the sudden lack of space between them and the bald intimacy of his words. She kept her hands on the counter, palms down, breathing deeply. She looked at him, saw the way the pulse throbbed in his cheek and how his eyes appeared so brilliantly green behind his glasses. Without thinking, Annie reached up and touched his cheek, running her palm along his jaw. There was a rawness to his expression, as though the rest of the world didn’t exist in that moment and there were only the two of them alone in the big kitchen, seeking solace and comfort within each other. And she knew, without a doubt, what she wanted.
“David...” She said his name on a long sigh.
“You should go,” he said softly.
Annie nodded, still touching him. “Or I could stay.”
He inhaled sharply. “If you stay, we’ll make love.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“I don’t want you to regret it tomorrow,” he said, and gently grasped her hand, holding it tightly in his own.
“Right now,” she said with a sigh, “I don’t think tomorrow matters all that much.”
“Annie,” he chided, “think about what you’re saying.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying,” she said and tugged on his hand, leading him from the kitchen, flicking off the light as she continued the journey left, down the long hallway and toward the privacy of the master suite. She didn’t release his hand and didn’t speak. Instead, she turned on the bedside lamp and switched off the main light. The room was large and intimidating, the huge king-size bed a beacon, teasing and tormenting.
Annie dropped his hand and stood by the end of the bed, watching him, thinking that he’d never looked so handsome, or so uncertain. She suspected she should have been the one who looked resistant, but oddly, all she felt was a sudden kind of easy calm.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked quietly.
Annie nodded and slipped off her shoes. “Completely.”
He remained perfectly still, gazing at her, almost absorbing her with his eyes. Then he took a step toward her, closing the gap between them. He reached out and cradled her cheek, rubbing his thumb along her jawline until he reached her chin and then gently held her there.
“You’re so beautiful, Annie,” he said and traced his fingertips down her neck. “Inside. Outside. In every way that counts.”
Heat traversed through her blood and pooled low in her belly. “Kiss me,” she beckoned.
He groaned and drew her toward him, taking her mouth in a hot and searing kiss that defied reason and logic and any lingering protest either of them may have had. Annie felt his tongue in her mouth and moaned, pushing closer, longing to feel the hard angles of his body pressed against her own. She wound her arms around him, settling at his waist, opening her mouth a little more, letting him in, feeling both acquiesce and power, knowing he was as overwhelmed by the heat and intensity of their kiss as she was.
His hand smoothed down her side and over her hip, while the other gently anchored her head and he continued to kiss her, continued the erotic foray in her mouth that was like nothing else she’d ever experienced. Need, bone aching and deep, surged through her limbs and across her skin; suddenly kissing wasn’t enough—she wanted skin to skin, breast to chest, she wanted to feel him deep inside her, until there was no space between them, no way to work out where he began and she ended.
Annie thrust her hands beneath his shirt and came into contact with his smooth, warm skin. For so long she’d yearned to touch him, to feel the muscle stretched over sinew and bone, to give herself up to the love in her heart. In that moment, it didn’t matter that he didn’t love her in return. He needed her, and perhaps it would only be for a few hours, but she could be there for him. And she needed him, too.
He dispensed with the buttons on her sweater and pushed the fabric from her shoulders, trailing kisses along her collarbone, making her mindless, fueling the desire that was surging through her blood.
“Annie,” he muttered, his breath warm against her skin, “tell me what you want.”
His words were inflammatory and sexy, giving her confidence. “Everything,” she whispered, finding his mouth again in a hot and searing kiss. “All of you.”
He groaned, half pleasure, half pain, and led her toward the bed, halting when the backs of her knees met the mattress. He took off his glasses, placed them on the bedside table and then looked at her, watching as she breathed, as her full breasts rounded over the cups of her bra.
“Not legs,” he said sexily and trailed his thumb between her breasts, reminding her of a conversation they’d previously had. Her nipples hardened instantly, peaking against the smooth satin fabric and he moaned again, clearly aroused. “I want you so much, Annie. I can’t even begin to say the words.”
“I think you’re saying them just fine,” she said and smiled warmly. “With your kiss, and your eyes, and...” her words trailed off as her hands moved to the belt securing his jeans, lingering there for a moment before she met his burning gaze, “everything else.”
He kissed her again and then stepped back, ditching the T-shirt and quickly flipping off his loafers. Annie stood silently and eased down the zipper and the back of her skirt, letting the fabric pool at her feet. Standing there in front of him, in only her underwear, she had never felt more provocative, or as desired in her entire life. She looked at him, absorbing the hard angles of his body, thinking about how many times she’d seen him without a shirt over the years and how this time she was allowed to look, allowed to feel, allowed to touch. She was allowed to love him, even if it wasn’t real and wouldn’t last beyond a few hours. And for the moment, that was enough.
* * *
In all his life, David knew he would never forget how Annie looked standing in front of him. The stretchy fabric of her panties dipped over her hips, highlighting every lush curve, filling him with the kind of aching desire he hadn’t expected to feel. A desire that had everything to do with the fact it was Annie, and not just anyone. She meant something to him. She was special.
Her skin was smooth and supple, pale in places where it didn’t see the sun. He watched as her hands moved around to her back and she unclipped the bra and then slipped off her panties. He swallowed hard, mesmerized by her, thinking how she reminded him of some ancient goddess from an old painting, all curves and femininity.
She stepped toward him and touched his ribcage, then teased her fingertips along his pectorals and settled lower at this belt for a moment. She stilled, seeming a bit uncertain.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
She looked up. “A little out of practice.”
“Me too,” he said. “But I’m sure we’ll do just fine.”
She smiled again, warmer, deeper and then with a dexterity that startled him, she unbuckled the belt with agonizing slowness, undoing the zipper on his jeans.
“You’re killing me,” he said hoarsely.
She looked up, meeting his gaze, her smile inviting. “But what a way to go.”
David ditched his jeans and briefs within seconds and led her to the bed. He kissed her, gently fisting a handful of her glorious hair so he could deepen the kiss, taking her tongue into his own mouth and experiencing a wave of arousal surge across his skin that was so intense for a second he thought he might pass out. But Annie steadied him, holding his shoulders, pressing closer, throwing back her head so he could kiss her throat, her neck, the soft skin along her shoulders. He caressed her breasts, feeling the weight of them in his hands, gently rubbing the nipples with his thumbs and feeling them stiffen beneath his touch. She moaned as David laid her back against the pillow, her beautiful hair fanned out around her. He kissed her again, deeper and longer, then he touched her as he ached to do for so long.
Foreplay had never felt so good, he thought in a kind of mindless
state of pleasure. For the following hour, they kissed and touched and became acquainted with each other. There was nothing shy about Annie’s touch, nothing coy about the words she whispered against his mouth and neck and chest and then lower still. She knew where to kiss, and how. She knew where to touch, when to hold, when to release. On some level, it was as though they had been lovers in another life. When he caressed her intimately she moved against him, and he watched, fascinated as her skin flushed with pleasure as she came apart in his arms, saying his name over and over.
He grabbed a condom from the unopened packet in the bedside drawer, sheathed himself, and moved over her, cradling her face within his hands, taking his weight on his forearms. David watched her for a moment, still breathing hard from her climax, seeing such pleasure in her face it tightened his chest to the point he wasn’t sure he could breathe.
“Annie,” he said her name on a sigh and moved between her thighs. “You feel so good.”
Her hands moved to his shoulders and she pulled him closer. “You, too,” she said, her eyes darkening. “You’re pretty good at this.”
He chuckled, loving that she could find humor alongside passion and desire. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
She smiled and pulled his head to her lips and kissed him, laughing delightedly against his mouth, whispering words that were meant for lovers. They kissed, they moved, they found a rhythm that was sinfully pleasurable and when release came to them both, it was sharp and sweet and wonderous and left David knowing one undeniable fact—that he had somehow, despite every intention to the contrary—spectacularly fallen head over heels in love with Annie Jamison.
* * *
Annie had been staring at the ceiling for close to half an hour, thinking about how she could drag herself out of David’s bed without waking him and sneak out of the house without being seen by the kids, his grandmother and probably anyone else who resided on the place.
But since her arm was trapped beneath his and if she moved he would stir, she remained where she was, naked and still thoroughly exhausted from the almost three-hour lovemaking session they’d shared. He slept on his stomach, which was endearingly cute, and she had to stop herself from running her fingers through his hair or tracing kisses along his back and hips, or stroking the tattoo of his children’s names on his shoulder.
