Everlife

by Gena Showalter

  I rub the sore spot, and pretend to pout. "Baby, I was tellin' the truth, just the way you like."

  Her snort delights me.

  "Where did you get Light?" Raanan asks.

  "Love is Light and Light is love. You have some, too. You all do." Her mismatched eyes gleam with anticipation. "Anyway, the tree showed me how my staff was created. One of its limbs was used, along with Light. Did you know that? About the staff, I mean." She directs the question at Archer.

  He shakes his head, sandy hair falling over his forehead. "I had no idea. After I defected to Troika--" he casts me an unreadable look "--the Prince of Doves gave me the staff and told me to keep it close, because it would one day save my life."

  The Prince of Doves has visited Many Ends? When? Why?

  How?

  Did he somehow rescue someone here, without ever stepping foot in the sub-realm? But if he was here, why not rescue everyone at once?

  I met him once. I was on assignment, and he simply appeared before me. He tried to convince me to defect to Troika. I mocked him, sneering at his offer. Truth is, as I'd looked into his sky-blue eyes, I'd never felt more inadequate. Plus, I genuinely believed he would regret his offer; I also suspected he'd made it simply to throw me off my game. Which he did. I'd been turned inside out, and failed to recruit my target. One of my first failures.

  Now, I've seen the Secondking of Troika through Ten's eyes. He would never come here and leave spirits behind. That's not who he is. He cares too deeply.

  So. Someone besides Ten, Reed and Kayla managed to escape Many Ends, and take a branch with him. Or her.

  Ten gasps, her entire body jolting. "Eron," she blurts out, and everyone frowns. "Centuries ago, there was a bridge between Troika and Myriad. Eron used to come here. He and Ambrosine would meet with the Firstking under the tree's shade."

  So I was wrong?

  Reed purses his lips. "How do you know this?"

  "The tree." She pats the trunk. "Do you not hear him?"

  "No," we all say at once.

  Her ears twitch as she concentrates. "Reminds me of Eron. A piece of Eron, maybe?"

  I'm not sure if she's talking to us or to herself.

  "Once the bridge burned," she says, "Ambrosine placed obstacles around the tree--the creatures, insects, doorways--and built a barrier around them. What he didn't know until too late--he'd created Many Ends, binding himself to the sub-realm. Because he is bound, his people are bound."

  Well. I wasn't wrong, not really. Eron was here, but not while souls were being tortured.

  "What about the Unsigned?" I ask. "Why are they sent here alongside Myriadians who experience Second-death?"

  Her eyes go wide. "Because there's no such thing as Unsigned. When the Firstking created the Land of the Harvest, he gave possession of it to both of his sons. But Ambrosine stole the deed. He owns the Land of the Harvest. If you aren't bound to Troika, you are bound to him. Rather than welcome the Unsigned into his midst, he sends them here, as punishment."

  Dior rubs a hand over her breastbone, as if to ward off a terrible ache. "How can Ambrosine be so cruel to so many?"

  This, I can answer. "He feeds on the pain he causes." I've seen it firsthand. As Zhi, Victor and Javier tortured Ten, I watched him close his eyes and soak up her misery as if it was his own personal brand of ambrosia.

  "Well, it's time to take him down. Destroying this realm and stopping the constant torment should starve and weaken him." Ten links her fingers with mine and gives a comforting squeeze. "Come on. We've got weapons to construct."

  After we gather enough leaves to feed an army--gotta keep up our strength--we sit, forming a circle around our pile of fallen branches. I perch on Ten's right, Archer on her left. Dior sits on his other side, and the two share a brief kiss.

  I watch as everyone but Dior creates one weapon after another. Spears, bows and arrows. Daggers. Or more precisely, shivs.

  Noticing my lack of effort, Ten frowns and whispers, "What's wrong?"

  "I have no Light."

  "Uh, that's not true." After positioning herself in front of me, she flattens her hands against my temples. Her touch is soft and welcome, and I have to swallow a moan of desire. I want her again.

  Who am I kidding? I always want her.

  "Close your eyes," she says, and I obey--though it's difficult. I could stare at her forever, but it still wouldn't be long enough. "Look. Look deep inside you."

  Her voice drifts through my mind, rippling along the Grid. A Grid I see more clearly as I follow those ripples, deeper and deeper--

  There! I spot a small Light, unimpeded by a single shadow. It is a flame that crackles in the heart of our marriage bond.

  Joy explodes inside me, and the flame grows.

  My eyelids pop open, and my gaze meets Ten's. She's peering at me, expectant.

  "Well?" she asks.

  I offer her a slow, secret smile as I lean toward her, intending to steal a quick kiss. Just before contact, a lance of pain renders me immobile. The Light has spread, burning away a thin film that covered a section of my mind. Not a section of memories, but...coming events? I tense.

  The world around me vanishes, and I see myself staked inside...a nest? Warm Lifeblood drips on to my naked body. It comes from a tier above me. Another nest? My chest is cut open, several of my organs gone, but I'm still lucid as a skeleton-bird swoops down and pecks at my liver.

  A scream bubbles in my throat, but I'm too weak to release it. And why bother screaming again, anyway? Help will never come. This will happen again and again and again--as it has already happened again and again and again.

  Comprehension dawns. With it? Alarm. I'm not glimpsing my future. I'm seeing the present through someone else's eyes.

  But whose? And why?

  Besides my own, I've only ever seen through Ten's eyes, because of our bond. So... I must be bonded to this other person. But how?

  More skeleton birds swoop down, devouring the rest of my--the victim's--organs. The pain is incredible. Agonizing. I'm not sure how much more I...can...

  The world goes black.

  "Killian! Killian, can you hear me?"

  Ten's voice penetrates the fog in my mind. I blink open my eyes once again, and find her posed above me, those azure locks falling around my face to create a curtain.

  Tears of relief pour down her cheeks. "Thank the Firstking. I wasn't sure what happened... Had no idea how to help you..."

  She eases me to a sitting position, and I see the others are gathered around me, and they appear to be equally concerned. Not only do I have Ten, I have...friends? Maybe. It's possible. Stranger things have happened.

  I explain what I saw, and everyone expresses concern.

  "What if you were seeing through...I'm sorry...the eyes of someone you know and love?" Ten asks softly. "Like Sloan. Or your mother."

  The thought of either woman suffering nearly sends me into a tailspin. Deep breath in, out. "It's possible," I admit, a sense of urgency taking root inside me. "We need tae save these people. Now."

  There's a slight vibration at our feet, and Ten frowns. "What was that?"

  "Someone new has arrived in the realm," Reed says. "Or multiple someones. When I lived here before, my friends and I would venture outside the Tree of Life to aid any newcomers."

  "I remember." She traces a fingertip along one of the spears she made. "You came for me. Have I ever thanked you?"

  He pats her on the shoulder. "You have, but thank me again by agreeing that we shouldn't take the risk yet. We plan to save everyone, right, so there's no need to risk losing one of our group in order to save someone who might turn against us. We need to focus our efforts on getting to the hills."

  Dior and Raanan nod in agreement. Archer thinks for a minute, then nods as well.

  I bring Ten's hand to my mouth and kiss her knuckles. Such soft, warm skin. "I'll do whatever you think is best, lass." Anything but sacrificing her life for others. That, I will never do.

  If eyes
are windows to the soul, I can see the wheels turning in her mind. "We stay here," she says, her determination clear. "We're saving everyone. Whatever happens out there between now and then, it'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

  Reed rubs his hands together. "All right. For the best chance of success, we should wait until the realm resets. And before you ask, it resets every twenty-four hours." He runs his gaze over each of us. "That means one of us has to be captured by the birds. On purpose. He--or she--will take a pocketful of leaves and drop them along the way, all Hansel and Gretel style. The rest of us will have twenty-four hours to follow the path and reach the final destination."

  "How will we know when the realm resets?" Archer worries two fingers over the stubble on his chin. "And what does reset mean, anyway?"

  "There will be a flash of absolute darkness. Just a blink, but one hundred percent noticeable." As he speaks, he arranges leaves and branches in a circle, recreating the sub-realm. "And it means invisible doorways will be moved, the hills will appear somewhere else--everything will appear somewhere else. Everything but the Tree of Life. It never moves."

  A collective shudder sweeps over the group.

  "When will the next reset happen?" Raanan asks.

  Reed stares up at the sky--a veil of dark red water. "A few hours maybe? We'll need to be ready to go at a moment's notice."

  I expect everyone to point to Dior or me; we're the Myriadians and we'll make the perfect bid food. But I should have known better. Everyone except the Myriadians jumps at the chance.

  What is it with Troikans and self-sacrifice?

  I'm pretty sure Dior's reasons for not volunteering are similar to my own. I want to be near Ten, need to protect her, whatever the cost. Dior has just been reunited with Archer, and will want to protect him, the boy she lost--because of me.

  Not going to feel guilty anymore. Nope, not even a little. I've apologized. We've moved on.

  "I'll go," Ten says. "Face it. I'm the best choice."

  I scowl at her. No way. Just no way.

  "Sorry, Sperm Bank, but I'm the best choice," Archer says, his expression pure stubbornness.

  I've heard him use the nickname before. It used to send me into a rage. Today, I can only smile. She's my sperm bank.

  Ten slaps my shoulder. "I know what you're thinking, perv."

  "And I do no' regret it," I say, and press a quick kiss to her lips.

  "Sorry, guys, but I'll be the one who's taken," Raanan says. "I've survived worse. You guys won't last ten minutes."

  "What if we're all taken together?" Dior suggests.

  "No." Reed shakes his head. "We could be taken in different directions or given to different creatures. One person. One trail. Trust me on this."

  As they argue, I sit back and listen in order to better craft a defense against my worst nightmare: Ten's nomination.

  Good thing. Ultimately everyone but me agrees that Ten should be the one to go. She has the strongest bond to us all, and she'll have the best chance of communicating with us if things go badly.

  Though I'm screaming inside, I have no defense. Not that it matters. There's no way I'm letting her go, her organs an all-you-can-eat buffet for the birds. So. I make up my mind in an instant, and know what I have to do.

  I expect half of me to balk, to express reluctance. Something. Instead, I'm eager. I owe Ten. Actually, I owe everyone here. If a life must be risked, it will be mine.

  I wait as long as I dare. A mere hour and a half. Then I kiss Ten's cheek, stand and say, "I'm going tae stretch my legs." The unequivocal truth...if not the whole truth.

  "What, you're not going to argue with us?" she asks.

  "No." I'm not.

  She appears pleased. "I'll walk with you."

  "Stay. What if I have tae empty my bladder, eh?" Again, not a lie. A question isn't a statement. "I love ye, lass." She owns me, body and soul. Always will.

  "I love you, too. Oh! Take this with you, just in case." She hands me one of the smaller branches with a pointed tip. The perfect makeshift dagger.

  I accept, grateful, and anchor it behind my back, then hide it under my shirt. Catching a glimpse of my stomach, she wiggles her brows at me, all I'm going to get me some more of that, just you wait, before she returns her attention to the task at hand.

  My heart is heavy as I walk away--stretching my legs as promised. I don't want to leave her, but I will do anything to keep her safe. When I'm out of sight of the others, I pluck leaves from the Tree of Life, and stuff as many as possible in my pockets.

  When I reach the edge of the tree's shade, I see the armies of skeleton birds, gorillas and monkey-spiders waiting. Squawks, roars and high-pitched...giggles?...erupt. The birds flap their wings. The gorillas lick their saber teeth, and the monkey-spiders jump up and down.

  My heart races, and tremors speed through me as I wait...wait...for the realm to reset. Then, it happens. A blink of absolute, utter darkness. There and gone, as Reed predicted.

  The others will come looking for me, ready to send Ten to slaughter.

  Chin high, I step forward. Take me.

  One of the birds gets to me first, sinking claws into my shoulders and yanking me into the air. I hiss. And now...now time is ticking.

  "Ten," I bellow. "Come find me."

  chapter twenty-six

  * * *

  "In the end, you will have what you take."

  --Myriad

  Ten

  A few minutes earlier

  I love ye, lass.

  Killian's words echo in my head as I continue planning with Archer, Raanan and Reed and stuffing my pockets with leaves.

  Something about Killian's tone begins to bother me. Minutes pass as I await his return, tensing more with every second. Nine. Fourteen.

  Every year, Valentine's Day is celebrated on February 14th. It's a day for romance and love.

  I rub the words tattooed on my forearm, a new nervous habit, I suppose. Loyalty. Passion. Liberty. Loyalty to my realm, passion for the truth--and Killian--liberty for all.

  The realm resets, which means I gotta go get myself captured, but there's still no sign of Killian. Until--

  "Ten," he shouts. "Come find me."

  I vault to my feet. "Killian?" What's going on?

  A bird squawks, and a growing sense of dread has my gaze jerking up. Horror gut-punches me. No, please, no. But my eyes do not deceive me. My husband is hanging from a bird's claws. Despite the distance, my gaze locks with Killian's for a split second before he disappears in the dark storm clouds that are rolling this way.

  A brilliant green leaf flutters from the sky, falling between branches to land on the ground somewhere in the distance. He's leaving the necessary trail.

  "What's wrong?" Archer asks, but he reads the answer on my face, or maybe he senses my emotions on the Grid. "I should have known he'd want to steal all the glory for himself." He tsks.

  I'd slap him silly, but I know he's trying to lighten the severity of my mood.

  Trembling now, I strap on as many weapons as I can. "Let's go."

  "Sorry, Ten, but we have to wait," Reed says.

  "No way." I shake my head with so much force I'm surprised when my spine doesn't snap. "Earlier you claimed we needed to leave the second the realm reset. Well, it's reset. We're going."

  "I didn't know there would be a storm--"

  "In Many Ends, there's always a risk of a storm," I interject. "Killian risked his life for ours. We're going to do the same for him. And if a storm does appear, it could blow away his trail. We won't be able to follow. So we go now. Or I do. If you want to wait, fine, but nothing is going to stop me."

  Peering at me, one of Raanan's dark brows wings up toward the arch in the center point of his hairline. "You give good pointers. And honestly, hanging out with you is never dull, that's for sure."

  As the others strap on their weapons, I pat my pockets to double-check I have as many leaves as possible. Guaranteed, we're going to need sustenance and medicine at ever
y turn.

  Fear yanks me into a mental boxing ring, ready to go head-to-head. Over the last year, I've overcome so much and faced so many tragedies. Now, everything is about to reach the ultimate climax.

  "Monsters know whenever a spirit has reached the Tree of Life," Reed says. "They'll be waiting for us."

  "Feel sorry for them," I say. "They took Killian. Now they die."

  I lead the charge, determination and menace in every step, a thousand thoughts rolling through my mind. In the Everlife, it doesn't matter how much money we made as a human. It doesn't matter if we built an empire, or collected rare items or convinced everyone of our special awesomeness.

  Human = soldier in a war, whether we know it or not. It's what we do as a human that affects who we are as a spirit. Who we loved. How we loved. Who we helped. People matter, not things.

  I made the mistake of coasting through my human life, floating on the waves of indecision, and because of that, I lost that life far too soon. Now, I'm a spirit, and even though I'm in Many Ends, I have what I thought I'd never have again: another chance. Another chance to live and love and help, and not necessarily in that order.

  We reach the edge of shade offered by the Tree of Life, and, ready for us, our enemy steps into view. Too many monkey-spiders to count, and that's saying something.

  "Where are the gorillas and birds?" Dior asks, and Archer wraps an arm around her waist.

  "Probably followed after Killian. Fresh meat," Reed says. "Even the creatures here are at war. The gorillas steal from the birds, the birds steal from the monkeys, and the monkeys steal from the gorillas."

  "How do you guys want to handle--"

  Raanan goes quiet as I swing my spear at one of the creatures. Contact! The wood nails my target in the face, and I gasp with shock. The monkey-spider explodes, but not into pieces. Into shadows. Those shadows blow away in a wind I do not feel.

  "What the--"

  "How did--"

  "Do that again!"

  We look at each other for a moment, and laugh.

  Dior throws her arms around Archer. "We can do this!"

  He's so large, and she's so small. They share a stolen moment of connection and perhaps even communion, and it's beautiful.

  "When we get through this, and we will, we're going to celebrate. Hard. Until then, stay behind us," he tells her. "We'll need you if we're injured."

  A very nice way of telling her 1) she'll slow us down and 2) she has no battle skill.