Peril & Profit

by M. H. Johnson

  This last bit the bird said loud enough for Vorstice to hear and visibly stiffen, lending veracity to Sorn's statement, whatever else Vorstice might later claim.

  "Anyway, wouldn't it make sense for someone as vindictive as Vorstice to lead his would-be robbers there, to die an exquisitely painful death, no doubt, as they ran off with his loot, giving the good lord here the satisfaction that he had done away with his tormentors, whether or not they killed him for good measure? Seems kind of strange to think that he would do something so stupid as to tell his supposed tormentors about the poison on his booby-trapped bait stash, and then inform them of the precise location of his real treasure, when he had everything to lose in doing so. Unless, of course, he had been speaking under the influence of tell-all, and not being tortured at all. And the things he had to say about what he planned for his erstwhile competitors? Disturbing, to say the least."

  Sorn paused, noting more than a few gasps and odd stares being sent Vorstice's way, for all that he was still crumpled upon the cobblestones at that moment.

  "So I ask you, good Lord Cantrose, how could I possibly know how much wealth Lord Vorstice possessed? Next thing you know, I will be telling you it was buried under the stone slabs of the far-most cell facing his torture chamber, and how ridiculous would that claim be! As if the good Lord Vorstice would actually stoop to something so base as torturing innocents for his sick and twisted amusement. Oh no, good lord, I would never, ever, imply such a thing!

  "Let me instead simply assure you that you might find asking the man a few very delicate questions about his own intentions toward his fellow lords and their holdings highly illuminating? At your discretion, of course. and incidentally, you may also be assured that the wealth I have promised in compensation for your sufferance in this matter is most definitely well in hand, or talon, as the case may be."

  Lord Cantrose's look was grave as he slowly approached the captain and, with a nod from him, grimly and none-to-gently dragged a still coughing Vorstice to his feet.

  "Come, lords, it looks like it might indeed profit us to ask our fellow lord a couple of questions. Fear not, Lord Vorstice. I am sure all will be made clear shortly, and of course, you too shall get a share of gold. Fair enough, crow?"

  "Absolutely!" You may even tell Vorstice that I might just throw in a diamond for his share. Not one of the big ones, though. Those I'm keeping." Sorn gave a mock shake of his beak upon catching sight of his foe's furious countenance, mangled as the man's face now was. "Vorstice, no need to whimper, it's all just an imaginary figment, right? After all, there is absolutely no way I could have actually deprived you of your entire hoard. I mean, it's not like you confessed the location of your wealth, along with your plans to betray the kingdom under the influence of tell-all, right? So chipper up, man, you'll soon be twenty gold pieces richer!" Sorn's tone was bright and merry, and the royal guards were now shaking their heads and smiling in unison.

  "You, Mr. Crow, are a most evil bird," Sorlin said with a chuckle.

  "Why, sir Mage. I'm shocked, absolutely shocked! Being as I am a bird of diplomacy, the very totem of civilization to my people."

  "Uh huh…"

  "No, really!"

  "I'm puzzled by one thing, Captain," Sorlin said, as they made their way back inside the palace to inform the king of this most recent development, and Sorn noted that he was still smiling slightly, no doubt at the thought of Vorstice's arrogant form crumpled in a stunned heap before them.

  "And what would that be, good mage?"

  "Vorstice is a man you clearly despise, which is understandable given the individual in question and the riot he so blatantly tried to incite. Yet you clearly forwent the opportunity to have him clapped in irons for his desperate lunge with the dagger. You would have been well within your rights, to say the least. Lords court or no, there is no way he could weasel out of what had just occurred, and that may well have put an end to him."

  The captain smiled, his well-kept mustache giving him a very debonair grin. "You are quite right about that, good mage. That would have been one way to handle things. But, as our feathered friend here knows so well, we truly do need to put forth a united front, should we hope to survive this siege. The last thing we need is Vorstice's crimes being hidden under a veil of resentment, which could easily result in the very discord that the Empire may very well be trying to generate in the first place. This way, the lords can see for themselves Lord Vorstice's perfidy, and thus know unequivocally who the real enemy in their midst is. Further, they will have cause to show us some gratitude at our own forbearance, as not a lord there was unaware of the terrible jeopardy Vorstice had put himself into with his actions."

  Sorlin nodded his head in solemn approval. "Not to take away due credit to you, bird, but it does seem odd, how high-strung Vorstice was, even considering his injuries, and how easily he let himself be goaded. The man was just not thinking toward the end there!"

  "Oh, that's easy!" Sorn said, preening under the sudden attention of the mage and more than a few of the guardsmen. "The healer Salrie said that the tell-all had a few side effects, in addition to its primary effect of inducing an individual to speak of whatever comes to mind regarding whatever topic you put before him, giving a glimpse of the man's true persona, however icky that persona may be. Even when the immediate effects wear off, it still leaves the individual agitated and with his inhibitions worn down for at least a day or so, until he gets a good night's sleep. This is why Salrie said no conscionable healer would use it on the same subject more than once a day, and preferably not even as frequently as that."

  Sorlin nodded. "Of course. I vaguely remember learning something to that effect some time ago. Not my field, you understand." Sorlin looked a bit embarrassed at his lapse.

  "Poor Vorstice," the captain said with mock sympathy. "It hasn't even been half a day since his last dose of tell-all. I doubt he will be to happy with the dosing."

  "True," Sorn said smugly. "Then again, neither we nor the lords are exactly 'conscionable' healers!"

  "And if, sir Crow, your words are as true as you would have us believe, Vorstice will have far greater worries than how agitated he feels pacing in a cell room." Sorlin's voice was grim as he said this.

  Sorn dipped his beak in agreement. "This is true, sir Mage. No doubt the lords and royal family both will be wanting to fight over who gets to hang him. Fortunately, being the bird of diplomacy, I am at their disposal to resolve this little dilemma."

  The captain's face took on a bemused expression. "Ah. And how would you handle so delicate a matter, good crow?"

  "That's easy! We let the king and the lords each choose a champion, and they must do battle via a tug of war!"

  The captain nodded. "I suppose that's one way to handle it, though in truth I have always thought of such as more of a child's game than a means of trial by combat."

  Having made their way back to the captain’s quarters, gradually leaving the Royal Guardsmen behind them, though all were still on high alert, it was the king himself who greeted them with a raised eyebrow.

  "I am, in truth, surprised to see you all back here. And what's this I hear about a tug of war?"

  "My king! Forgive me for asking, but is everything all right?"

  "Oh of course, Captain. Truth is, Elissa was not feeling particularly pleased with her father's company, and so darted off to the gardens." The king sighed. "I thought I would keep tabs on things here, and perhaps find a worthy opponent or two at chess to keep my mind occupied in the meantime."

  "I completely understand, Your Majesty. Games of strategy both serve as an excellent diversion during times of tension, while keeping the mind sharp, and ready to battle."

  The guard captain sighed. "In truth, Your Majesty, we ran into what one might call a bit of a diplomatic tangle, though we seem to have found a means to resolve it readily enough. It shall, however, require a bit of patience on our part, one hour at least, perhaps as long as two."

  The king's grim ex
pression showed exactly what he thought of this delay. "It seems to me that you had best explain what exactly is the nature of this delay that necessitates the Royal Guardsmen being unable to serve me in the hour of our greatest peril."

  With a deep breath, the suddenly ramrod straight captain fired off a rapid accounting of the preceding events with military precision. The king was smiling with a certain dark satisfaction when he was done.

  "So, it seems that our Lord Vorstice has finally overstepped himself past his ability to recover. Excellent." The king looked at Sorn, eyes twinkling with bemusement. "And it seems we have you to thank, good crow, for transforming what could have indeed dissolved into a disastrous situation into one which will hopefully be to all our benefit, lords and royal household alike. For that, my friend, you have my sincere gratitude."

  "I am honored, Your Majesty," the crow said, bobbing his head to the king.

  "So tell me, good crow, did you and your master really manage to find Vorstice's hoard or, dare I ask, was it simply a very clever bluff?"

  "My master? Oh! You mean Sorn. Well, Your Majesty, let's just say that the good Lord Vorstice doesn't have to be nearly as concerned about thieves ransacking his wealth as he once was!"

  All three of the men grinned at that. "So tell me, Your Majesty," the captain asked, "what are the rules for the seizure of wealth from one who attempted treason?"

  He was smiling when he asked this, but this hardly placated a suddenly agitated little bird.

  "Rules of seizure?" Sorn squawked unhappily.

  "Well…" said the king, also smiling, "generally it would be the property of the royal treasury, as the state itself is the aggrieved party in this case."

  "What?" cried the crow in genuine alarm.

  "However, since these are unusual circumstances, I imagine we can allow the good little bird and his master a finder's fee of say... ten percent."

  "Ten percent?!?" The bird’s squawk seemed to be laced with genuine horror, sending all three men chuckling.

  "Oh fear not, good crow. With all that I have been told, your discovery of his no doubt ill-gotten hoard has only favored our case. And you were, of course, gracious enough to offer a portion of that to the nobles, should they agree to ask Vorstice those cleverly put questions, and do so expediently. Being as they are questions pertaining directly to the well-being of the lords themselves, they should see no harm to their own cause in at least using the tell-all to assure that Vorstice isn't planning on stabbing them all in the back.

  “And if his answers are what you have led us to believe they would be, good crow, no doubt they will be all too happy to surrender him to us as a gesture of good faith, not to mention heartfelt relief. For our actions have, if anything, helped to protect their lives and families as well as their holdings. And of course, dare I sound overly cynical, they would not want to be seen associating with Vorstice in any way once the gravity of his treachery is known, and against his own kind, no less. That being said, oh bird of the impressive beak and sharp wit, you may assure your master that none shall contest his claim to the gold."

  "Oh, now that's a relief!" Sorn acknowledged, favoring the king with another little bow, and ignoring the amused chuckles from the other two. "Had me worried for a moment there, Your Majesty. Speaking of which, there is always that tug of war I mentioned, if you and the nobles wish to contest who gets the privilege of dealing with Lord Vorstice."

  "Tug of war, good bird? Take no offense feathered one, but such is generally not considered a means of resolving adult disputes. Here, we view it more like a child's contest, really."

  "Oh, not this version, Your Majesty!" the crow said brightly. The king's eyebrow raised at this.

  "You see, Your Majesty, the way we play this game of tug of war is we allow each side to pick a champion, and each champion pulls one end of a rope, sure enough. But in this version, each rope is tied to a portion of Lord Vorstice. Whoever pulls him across their line wins!"

  "Now that does have distinct possibilities," the captain allowed with a smile.

  "Very primitive," Sorlin said, though he too seemed amused by the idea.

  "You could always let the champions use horses, if they're having trouble getting him across otherwise," the crow said. "In that version, the winner is the one who pulls the biggest piece of him across their line!"

  The captain’s smile was perfectly innocent. "Certainly food for thought, Your Majesty."

  The king grinned back at his captain. "I quite agree." He then rested his watery blue gaze once more on the crow, and Sorn couldn't help noticing how tired the man looked. It appeared that the stress of both the siege, possible treason, and the late hour itself were all getting to him, for all they all tried to mask their concerns under a veneer of ribald humor.

  "Your master is welcome to make his presence known to us at any time, you know. No harm will come to him here. Further, whatever trouble the city watch might once have tried to make for him on the streets has now no doubt been superceded by graver concerns for the nobles and their watch. And so, at your discretion, I am sure the captain would be most happy to provide a small escort if needed to assure Sorn safe passage here, should he choose to accept such from us. Our offer of amnesty and friendship is one that we of course extend to Sorn and his companions both, should the rumor be true that your ship boasts multiple wizards."

  The silver-haired monarch's grin was heartfelt. "Indeed, sir Crow, having risked his enemy's very stronghold to rescue his companions speaks volumes for Sorn's character. Furthermore, it was his insight alone that had deduced what could well be fatal treachery within our midst, and it is a testament to his nobility of character that he would place his very familiar in peril to warn these people he has known but for a handful of days. Thus he has rendered us a service we will be hard put to repay, and has proven both his resourcefulness and his value to us. You may convey to him, good crow, that he will always be welcome here in Caverenoc."

  "Your Majesty," Sorn said, momentarily stunned by the king's solemn gratitude. "I am honored."

  The king favored the crow with a quizzical look.

  "And um, I shall be sure to convey your regards to Sorn when next we… communicate. Rest assured, Your Majesty, that Sorn, as well as his cousins, are quite safe. And Sorn, should he be needed, can make himself available at a moment's notice."

  The high mage’s eyebrows went up at this. "Really. And how, pray tell, might he contrive to do this, good crow?"

  "Err, um I'm afraid that's a trifle hard to explain, your magicalness."

  "Uh huh." The mage nodded his acceptance of this, but his expression made it plain he thought the bird was keeping secrets.

  The king favored them all with a benign smile. "Come, my friends. Let us adjourn to my council chambers. No doubt the lords will give us message there, when they have questioned Vorstice via the tell-all, and we can thus make ready to wage an immediate united front against the nest of enemy soldiers without any further delays."

  "Your Majesty, does it not bother you that you cannot take direct part in their council?" Sorn queried as they made their way down the myriad besplendored halls that made up the palace of Caverenoc.

  "Oh not particularly, dear bird. You cannot really think I am in the dark in regards to their so-called clandestine meetings, can you? A bird as wily as you must have reasoned that at least a few of the lords therein act at my behest."

  "Well, that does make sense, of course," Sorn allowed.

  "Ah, here we are!" the king said a short time later. It appeared that a small buffet was laid out for the king's enjoyment, and the king motioned for them all to help themselves to the rich provender before them. The delicious aroma of tantalizing roast meats and fresh baked bread with warm butter and cheese slices nearly sent an ever hungry Sorn into a swoon, but some faint prickle of alarm made him hesitate from immediately dropping his talons down into the fare.

  "No need to fret," the king assured the hesitant bird, smiling as he made himself a san
dwich of heroic proportions. "Everyone knows I can be found here during many of my free hours, and I have yet to deny a guest the hospitality of my larder, should they happen to accompany me while I have an evening snack. No, good crow, even as an avian, you are the equal of any guest here!"

  "Your Majesty!" Sorn said in a near-breathless whisper. "Put down the meat, now!"

  23

  At that point Sorn screeched, flapping around and tearing the food out of the surprised hands of king, wizard, and captain, who purely by reflex slapped Sorn away, sending him spinning into the wall. He did drop his food, though, giving the bird a look that was a curious mixture of alarm and concern, mirrored by the king and wizard both.

  "Bird, what has gotten into you?" The captain asked harshly.

  The poor bird, it appeared, was near hyperventilating, so agitated did he seem. An alarming sight to see in a crow, to say the least. "Take the wine, take the wine! He screeched. "Pour it on your hands, and rub them against your clothes, now!"

  The expressions of alarm on the three personages only grew for a frozen moment before Sorn screeched "poison!" and the three, wide eyes mirroring each other in horrified comprehension, rapidly moved to comply with the bird’s seemingly bizarre demand.

  "I recognize that smell, the scent is similar to that on one of Vorstice's bags of silver. He coated the silver with a contact poison that would be the death of any thieves. That poison is in this food, though I know neither to what extent, nor how it got there!"

  The king's look was one of genuine terror, and to Sorn's alarm, it seemed that he and the others were suddenly breathing harder, though this could just have been due to the stress of the moment, or so he hoped.