by C. J. Anaya
Kheelan let out a surprised gasp, but instead of looking scared he only looked amused. A wry smile graced his lips as he held his hands in surrender.
“You have my attention,” he said. Then his gaze grew soft with a hint of sadness seeping in. “You’ve always had my attention, Crysta.”
Jareth let out a low growl in the back of his throat but remained silent after that.
I stared at Kheelan with a cold and indifferent mask gracing my features, but my rioting emotions were anything but cold and indifferent. I’d cared for him, loved him even. I felt like I was grieving the loss of a man who never truly existed because I couldn’t reconcile myself with the Kheelan I’d loved in that sprite mine to the Kheelan who was so devious he’d preyed on my vulnerabilities and used his own magic against me.
How could he have done this to me?
How could he have pretended so well?
I knew from the look on his face that he was hoping for something. He truly believed all the brainwashing, all the tender moments we shared, might be enough to hold me to him, keep me his forever, though to what end I couldn’t understand at this point. So I kept my pain and my hurt, my anger and my grief locked behind that wall of ice and stared at him like he was a total stranger.
“I understand why you took me from the palace,” I said. “You thought you were saving my life and Jareth’s.”
It wasn’t what I’d planned to say, and it didn’t seem to be what Kheelan expected to hear. He cocked his head to the side as he studied me.
“But…” he pressed.
“Once you realized the fated mate bond between Jareth and me wasn’t a threat to anyone, you continued the farce. You fed me lies. You used magic on me, and you used me. I want to know why.”
“You know why,” Kheelan said. His expression was open, a look of love crossing his features. “You know why, Crysta. I fell in love with you. I’ve known of your existence and of your importance for a very long time. I’ve worried about you, kept you hidden from my world, and worked with your father to protect you since the day you were born.”
“No,” I said with zero inflection in my voice. “You used compulsion on me. You used suggestive thoughts and spells to create feelings in me for you that never existed. All those nightmares I had of Jareth, the irrational fear I felt whenever I thought of him, that was you, wasn’t it? When I thought you were working to fix the emptiness within my mind, you were really working other spells to terrify and confuse me.”
My voice felt hollow and distant even to myself. It was kind of creepy how disconnected I’d become.
Kheelan shook his head.
“I know that’s what it looks like, but my reasons were sound. I love you. Whether you believe that or not changes nothing. If you were capable of holding more than one elemental magic within your core, then you and I were also compatible and we made more sense. Jareth renounced his throne. If you marry him you’ll never rule as queen of any court, but you and I can rule the Seelie Court together.”
“I’m heir to the Unseelie Court. Do you really believe Roderick won’t step down eventually?”
Kheelan snorted.
“Courts are not so easily taken from one ruler to the next. My father must be deposed. We can all agree on that, which makes me the rightful heir of the Seelie Court. I need a strong queen by my side. I need you, Crysta. It just makes sense.”
It was all about power plays, rulers, and court games to Kheelan. Too bad I wasn’t interested in any of it.
“You’ll have to find yourself another queen. I’m not really interested in the job offer.”
Kheelan’s eyes softened for a moment as he took in my blank expression.
“I understand why you’re angry. I don’t blame you. You have every right to be. I’m sure at the moment you’re asking yourself what, if anything, was actually real between us. Please know that every time I took you in my arms, every time I held you, and kissed you, and swore my love and devotion to you, it was real.”
Jareth moved to the bars and gave them a fierce shake.
“Shut up,” he yelled.
I flicked my eyes to Jareth, willing him to stay silent. I did not need his help or his interference.
“I meant every word of it,” Kheelan continued, ignoring him. “Everything I’ve done, no matter how devious or wrong, was for all the right reasons.”
“Good intentions,” I muttered. “You think that makes this all better?”
“I’m hoping it will.”
“And the Stargis? They weren’t really hiding in the mines were they? You held them prisoner. I want to know why?”
Kheelan had the decency for once, to look sheepish.
“We used them and their incarceration to blackmail their king into assassinating you.”
My jaw dropped in disbelief. Jareth let out a disgusted snort behind me.
“You are the lowest form of brownie dung,” Jareth hissed.
“It was before I truly knew you, Crysta,” Kheelan rushed to explain. “It was when we thought killing you was the only way to save an entire realm filled with millions of faeries.”
I stared at him for several emotionally charged moments, completely incapable of finding one single, solitary thing to say to that.
I cleared my throat and forced back the tears. I wasn’t about to cry in front of the man who had really tried to kill me.
“I want the Stargis race set free. Whatever you’ve done to keep them imprisoned in the mine, you need to undo immediately.”
“You are the one who has the power to free them now,” he said. “You’re their queen, but I’ll be happy to accompany you back to the mines and show you how to use your powers to set them free.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Jareth ground out. “I will assist Crysta in this endeavor while you rot right here just as you deserve.”
I interceded before things between them escalated into an all out brawl…again.
“I need you to undo the spell you’ve cast on my mind. We can’t discover what it is my mother found to defeat King Moridan if you don’t fix this.”
Kheelan gave me a sad look and shook his head.
“Not until you marry me.”
Jareth’s reaction was explosive. Within moments he was in the cell. He pinned Kheelan against the wall in a choke hold.
“Jareth,” I shouted.
I grabbed his arm and gave it a yank, but he didn’t even budge. Magic would do the trick, but I really didn’t want to use it on him. It didn’t seem right.
“Crysta is my fated mate, and you will not take her from me again. I’d sooner kill you for what you’ve done, for what you’ve threatened to do, than let you take her from me.”
“You think you’re the only one in this room Crysta has ever loved? She doesn’t even remember you, brother.”
Kheelan wheezed against Jareth’s grip and let out a sardonic laugh.
I rubbed my tired eyes, wishing I could rub out this entire day and just start over.
“Jareth,” I tried again. My voice sounded so resigned.
Jareth slammed Kheelan against the wall and stepped back.
“Crysta is not marrying you. You’re not going to hold her memories hostage in an attempt to manipulate her into doing something against her will.” He gave his brother one final glare and turned to me, holding out his hand.
“We’re leaving now, Crysta. He won’t help us unless he gets what he wants, and I won’t sacrifice you. I won’t negotiate with this filth.”
“What about the memory my mother spelled within my mind?” I asked, keeping my expression cold.
“We’ll find another way.”
But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet.
“Kheelan, you can’t sacrifice the entire Fae realm for this. If you don’t relent at some point, everyone in this realm will become infected and die,” I said. “I’m not immune to this plague either. I’ll die right along with them.”
Kheelan shook his head. He gazed at me like I
was the only thing in the world that would ever matter to him.
“It won’t come to that,” he said.
“Of course it will. I won’t marry you.”
“I’m good at reading people, Crysta. I can take the measure of an individual in an instant and predict how they will react in any given situation. I’ve had weeks to take your measure, to drink you in and revel in the warmth of your courageous spirit. You’re kind. You’re strong. You’re good.”
His eyes held excess moisture, and he let his tears flow, a trap set to diffuse my fiery anger. I couldn’t let it, though. Even if he was sincere, he was also toxic in every way imaginable. I blinked back the tears, fighting to remain impartial, even though I desperately wanted to wrap my arms around him and beg him to deny he’d ever lied to me, manipulated me, and nearly killed me.
“It won’t come to that,” he repeated. “You’re too good to stand by and allow people to suffer. Not when you know how to save them.”
He was right, damn him. He knew me. He knew exactly who I was, and he was going to use that knowledge against me, all the while claiming he loved me.
“Crysta,” Jareth said. “There’s nothing more to be done here.”
I turned to Jareth as he, yet again, offered me his hand, fully believing I’d reach for the lifeline he offered.
For me, placing my hand in his meant I was putting my trust in yet another male who fully intended to pursue a relationship with me. One he could recreate according to his own wishes. Possibly embellish history or rewrite it altogether, but even though I knew that at one point I must have gone willingly into his arms, I simply couldn’t bring myself to trust in yet another stranger no matter what he claimed we were to one another.
I inclined my head in a stiff nod and headed out of the cell completely ignoring the hand he offered.
Kheelan let out a satisfied chuckle behind me.
“Crysta will do the right thing,” Kheelan said. “In the end, she will sacrifice her own interests to protect the Fae realm and the people she cares about.”
I whirled around to face him, noticing that Jareth was still standing in the cell staring at me with a wounded look on his features, but also a look that seemed to be seeing me for the first time. Did he find it difficult to recognize this version of me? I pushed his pain far from me. I wouldn’t let it weaken my resolve.
“You really can’t know that for sure, Kheelan,” I said, making one last attempt to reason with him.
“You’ve already done it once before when you severed your soul link with Jareth. You did it to save his life, you did it to save our realm, and you’ll continue to make those types of sacrifices because you are the most amazing woman I have ever met.”
I swallowed hard. I had to keep my shiz together.
“You still love me, Crysta. I know you do. I’ll be waiting for you. Once you’re ready to save our world, I’ll be here waiting.”
Kheelan’s eyes held fire in them, a fierce love burning brightly behind the intense look he gave me, but even though I had no doubt he loved me or at least believed he did, it wasn’t the kind of love I was interested in. It wasn’t the kind of love I could trust.
I turned my back on Kheelan, ignoring the fury radiating from Jareth. He was incensed, and he had a right to be. His brother had kidnapped me and used my memory loss to his advantage, creating a perfect storm for feelings to blossom between us.
If I were Jareth I’d be just as enraged.
And I was enraged.
But my feelings came from an entirely different perspective, and the hurt I felt at Kheelan’s betrayal cut far deeper than I wanted to admit. I kept walking, resisting the urge to turn back, to offer Jareth some comfort, to give him a little hope that maybe I’d be willing to switch from brother to brother simply because someone else had offered up new information. That wasn’t how emotions worked, folks. I couldn’t turn this on and off just because someone else had cropped up claiming to be my fated mate, even if he was telling the truth.
As far as I was concerned, relationships were no longer on the agenda, but saving the Fae realm?
Yep. That was something I could sink my teeth into.
I headed to the dining hall to talk to my uncle…who was now my father.
Super.
There had to be another way to get my memories back. There had to be a way to find the secret my mother hid within my mind. I hoped between Jareth, King Roderick, and King Vargis, they would have some idea as to how to proceed from here.
Because if they didn’t, if we couldn’t get my memories back, then the only other alternative would be negotiating with Kheelan again, and since I wouldn’t let innocent people die just to avoid a marriage with him, I had very little with which to negotiate.
And Kheelan knew it.
I really hated that guy.
Roderick’s look turned grim upon my return.
“He isn’t going to help you, is he?”
“Not unless I agree to marry him,” I said as I sat back down.
“Flaming pixie dust,” he groused. “It isn’t as if some lower level novice is holding your memories hostage. Kheelan is an incredibly powerful royal. It’s going to be very difficult to find a way around this spell.”
My heart sank.
“Are you saying I’m going to have to give him what he wants?”
“Absolutely not,” Jareth said, returning to the table. “There is always a counterspell to go with any spell cast. I’m simply going to have to analyze this one, figure out how it was weaved and then create an exact replica in reverse.”
“Sounds complicated,” I said.
Jareth didn’t comment. The stormy look on his face let me know he was still pretty pissed off.
I tried to convince myself that I really didn’t care how he was feeling or what he was thinking by becoming engrossed in anything other than him.
And I felt like a total witch for doing it, but I had to take some kind of independent stand at some point, right? I couldn’t keep accepting explanations, stories, or fiancés on the say-so of others.
“Incidentally, we now know who stole your people and held them captive, Graul,” Jareth said. “Kheelan and Rodri have been holding the entire race hostage in the mines with spells I’m sure Crysta and I can reverse easily enough.”
Graul nodded, his eyes narrowing in anger. “Your brother…still breathing?” he asked.
“Yes, unfortunately.”
“I not understand.”
I looked at Graul and gave him a tired grimace.
“He deserves your anger, Graul, but we can’t kill him. I promise that Jareth and I will free your people as soon as we can.”
“Your people,” Graul said. “You are Stargis. You are queen.”
I nodded. “My people, Graul. I’ll save them. I promise.”
Just like I’d promised to save the Goblin King’s daughter. I was really spreading myself thin here.
The grin that lit his face was so unexpected I couldn’t help but return it with one of my own. Jareth’s wry smile caught my attention as well. I immediately wiped the grin off my face and focused on anything other than him.
Then I noticed Mira sitting next to King Vargis and an uneasiness settled over me as she reached her hand out to stroke his arm. I braced myself for the pain I knew would hit me when she made contact. That feeling of disconnect returned followed by an aching tug at my core. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to figure out why contact between these two made me feel so awful.
Jareth sat down next to me, distracting me for a moment since I hadn’t expected him to do that. I also hadn’t expected him to sit so close that his thigh and arm rested against mine, causing heat to blossom in my chest. I glanced at him and nearly winced at the defiant look in his eye, letting me know he was fully aware of how much I didn’t want him near me and he wasn’t even remotely interested in accommodating me.
Since he was looking for a reaction from me, I did my best to give him absolutely nothing and tu
rned my attention back to Roderick even though my entire right side felt warm and toasty with Jareth pressed up against me.
“So how long does it usually take to examine a spell and create its counterspell?” I asked, trying to keep my focus off both Jareth and the contact between Mira and King Vargis.
“Depends on the level of complexity with the interwoven threads,” Roderick stated. “In a way, I think this will be a good thing for you and Jareth. You can’t remember anything about your fated mate, and now you’ll have the opportunity to spend hours with Jareth since that’s what creating the counterspell will entail. Kheelan’s plan has backfired a bit in that respect. I don’t imagine he wants you two getting back to where you were before the soul link was severed.”
I clamped my mouth shut, once again refusing to react to anything dealing with Jareth, especially since he was practically sitting on top of me, no doubt glaring daggers at me and daring me to say anything against the plan. He knew no matter how much I hated this idea, I wouldn’t object to it. I understood what was at stake just as much as he did.
“We should probably get started on that as soon as possible,” I said, keeping as much inflection out of my tone as I could manage. I was darn proud of how even-keeled I sounded considering the tension that coiled within my core.
“I knew you’d be excited to get me all to yourself,” Jareth said in a teasing voice, but when I glanced up at him, the dark storm that raged within his eyes undermined his playful tone. Yep. He was pissed, but even though my behavior combined with Kheelan’s treachery had seriously soured his mood, he gently grabbed my hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing the back of it in a tender manner while his eyes dared me to pull away, slap his face, let out some kind of crazy emotion that would let him know he was getting to me.
Not gonna happen.
I didn’t care how much my toes were curling as his lips made contact with my skin.
He peeked up at me with his lips still pressed to the back of my hand, then he tilted my hand to the side just a bit to hide his face from the others. With a sly look he slowly brushed his tongue along my skin, never taking his eyes from mine as he quietly challenged me.
