Darkness

by F. Bradshaw

  I had accomplished what I wanted. Ryan was never going to forgive me now. I was freeing myself from the grip of Matt, but then feeling myself going back to the old desire. I had always wanted Ryan. I would do nothing, but hurt and kill him. Matt was, for all intensive purposes, unbreakable. Both of us had been drawn to each other. I to someone like me with the smell almost right but not. He was the closest thing to me I had ever known in this new life.

  I wanted to wrap up in him. I desired Matt to be a part of me. His warmth made me no longer alone in my skin. This new skin craved his warmth. His blood running through my veins was what I desired most. I wanted to walk out of that room and have him wrap me in his arms and imprison me with his warmth and blood. I would want for nothing, and everything else fell to the side when we were together. He and I were the only things that existed within my four walls.

  I looked at my skin as the new color was fading with the warmth of his blood. I had the rose-colored glasses ripped from my face. He was going to be the death of what remained of my human side. I wonder if that would be a bad thing. With him, all my needs and desires were met. No, I may be lonely in my skin, but I cannot go down that path again. I would become comatose in his arms with his blood filling my body.

  I gripped the door handle half hoping it would break off, and I would be locked in that room forever. Stupid. I opened the door. The rush of his smell and blood hit me like a heat wave. It burned and stung my body and senses. Stop breathing him in. Stop now. I could feel my body weakening to my desire for his blood. I put my hand on the wall.

  The memory hit me of him pushing my body against the wall and into me. I was different, and my body wanted to return to the warmth it found. I looked over to the spilled blood. The blood slowly dripping from one stair to the next filling it with a pool before moving on to the next. Blood. Someone else’s blood is what I need. I let that desire take hold of me. I needed to feel that and forget being wrapped up in his limbs. I needed to forget his fingers sweeping down my back slowly dragging my skin. His touch like fire pushing into me, claiming me.

  I grabbed the first thing in my closet to wear. The jeans were loose but worked still. Matt walked up behind me embracing me and renewing the feeling of his flesh pressed close to my skin.

  “Why don’t we forget the blood and stay in? I have a few things we can try.” His hands wrapped around my waist pulling me to him.

  His warmth hugging my body made my skin crave him. I pulled away in a spin out of his arms looking for a bra and top. I quickly found something that would fit. I needed it between us. I needed to get away from him. I had to resist him, and the desire for his blood. His blood pulled me to him, and I felt the need to give into his commands. His tone was suggestive. I put on the clothes quickly and started for the stairs.

  I could not shake him from me as he quickly found his clothing and followed me. I walked through the blood letting it cover the bottom of my feet. It was still warm against them, as they grew colder. The mud, blood, and fur clung dry and sticky to the stairs. Matt grabbed for me as I opened the door.

  I swatted away his arms. I did not want him to touch me, or I would never make it out of there. Surprisingly, Ryan was sitting in the chair in the kitchen. I could tell he had been watching the door and had probably been listening the whole time. He had a plate of something in front of him. It had been pushed around and mashed up to the point that it was unrecognizable.

  Matt moved closer to me, attempting to reset his claim. The smell of him was alluring.

  Chapter 29

  The ice filling my body pulled me toward Matt to rewarm it, but the fleeing warmth pushed me toward Ryan. Ice and fire. I was caught between them. I moved away from Matt more. The floor is clean? What good is a floor if it is not covered in blood?

  I sauntered over to Ryan, pushing the chair away from the table, hopping up next to his food. Or what was supposed to be his food. His smell assaulted me once again. His eyes drifted up to mine. His eyes, the green of an impassioned flame dancing with anger looking deep into me. What did he see? Memories of his lips on mine played just out of view.

  “Hungry, I see.” I let the words fall out of my mouth.

  I knew he was being cautious. He knew all along what I was, and what was going to happen to me. Both of them were two sides of the same coin. They both knew what I was and tried to bring out the darkness. His eyes hauntingly looked deeper into mine searching for something. Was this going to be a staring contest?

  “I was a little, but with you around, who could eat.” His voice was full of held anger.

  He was trying to hold back his contempt for me. I liked it. His hands lay flat against the table. Ryan winced as I moved my fingers closer to him. I knew part of him wanted to pull away. Matt, on the other hand, Ryan wanted to rip him to shreds.

  I could feel his body heat rising and his breath half held snorted like a bull. I shot him a quick look. I was not his. Was I? My blood with him in it told me that I had let him claim me. He was mine. Only one of us could be in charge, and Matt understanding it, eased a bit. He looked at me as if there were one more card. A smirk curled at the edges of his lips.

  I looked in Ryan’s eyes hoping to see anything but anger. I let my fingers glide over the top of his hand. The skin was so soft and fragile in comparison to Matt. He did not pull back, but I could feel the tension rising in the room. He eased back from hovering over his food but did not move his hand. The pulse just below the skin with its voice calling to me held the hand flat against the table. Matt grew anxious waiting for me to move away. It rolled off him like the feeling that I was disappointing him. Why did it matter if I disappointed Matt?

  “Go take a shower, Matt.” I was cold and to the point.

  Matt needed to know that he had no standing here. It took him a moment before he clenched his fists and banged them down on the table. Coldly and even a bit deadly I looked into his eyes. He eased his hands open and went back downstairs. Matt slammed the door shut, and his feet were heavier on the stairs than needed. Good dog!

  Ryan shot a look to me of surprise. What were my feelings for him? What did he mean to me? I pushed the food away from in front of him moving myself into its place. My legs straddled his body, and blood plopped to the floor. It was a slow, thick drip of blood and fur mangled together. He did not mind as I was within touching distance. I could smell his skin and desire. I was being pulled back to distant memories, but they were not that old.

  I loved the touch of his skin. It was delicate like touching a peach. Moving the muscles and blood beneath just like the fruit below the flesh of the peach. I trailed my hands up his arms to his shoulders. I wanted to lick him all over, and then take a good bite and let the juices flow into my mouth ever so slowly, teasing me. Snap out of it! I have to focus. I ran the top of my foot up the backside of his leg edging myself closer to him.

  Thud. Once again one beat. Well, at least it still worked, sort of. I eased myself from the table onto his lap. His eyes were no longer full of anger. He put his hands around me pulling me deeper into his embrace. I pushed his wrists to the arms of the chair. A cold sensation ran over my body consuming me. I let go of one wrist and teased about with his shirt moving it slightly up and down dragging my hand across his chest.

  He placed his hand on my thigh. I would not stop him from that. I could feel his warm body starting to chill. I nibbled at his neck moving up to his ear as I reached around behind him. He breathed me in, and his body was not under his conscious thoughts any longer. He would break. I would break him! The shower was turning off, and I knew Matt would be back. I needed to sort out my feelings.

  I quickly got up from him and went for the door. I turned from them both. I had to. I moved quickly outside and far away from the house. I could feel half of my body being touched by Ryan and then Matt on the other side. Neither was near, but I felt their hands on me. The feeling of their warm desire filled mouths moving across my skin sucking and nipping at me.

  I felt their p
assion across my skin. I stopped, standing next to a half-dead tree. The gnarled and gangly branches offered enough shade. It reminded me of them. I was going to have to save myself. That would be the only way they would live. How am I going to get free from here without killing? Will temptation call me back to the boys? Who will win? I paced under the tree. I had a lot to figure out.

  Being away from them let me think. Matt was so intoxicating with his blood calling mine. Blood that warms my body like no other. To have that blood running through my veins would be an unquenchable fire. I was a human looking monster. I felt disloyal for thinking of anyone but him.

  He was all-consuming. What was he? What power did he have over me? What did I have over him? Lots of questions and no answers in sight, I ran my hand over my stomach. The wound was healed, but the question remained. Why did he try to gut me? I could feel the cold slowly creeping over my body. It was splintering through my veins. I ran my tongue over the inside of my mouth letting it slide over my fangs.

  The hunger and the darkness were oozing from my body. It felt like a cold, black blanket wrapping me up tight and letting go at the same time. My skin tightened around my body, holding it in place. It was keeping the darkness in as it wanted to do nothing but explode outward, taking everything in. Food first. Then the boys, and then to make plans after I have fed. I wanted to hunt, but everything in me was making me chose the cows again. Running toward them, I was not alone. His heat gave him away long before I could feel his pounding feet. Its toxic touch licked at my back screaming for me to turn around. I ran faster to get to them.

  I needed the release. I craved the feeling of their blood coursing through my corpse and making it warm. The warmth of their death would temper my desire for him. It would be the only way I could get through this. The only way to get what I needed from him. I ran straight for a cow, not stopping or slowing. Colliding with the cow and half dragging it to the ground before it cried. Uncontrollable thirst would not let me release it.

  The cracking sound hit me and taste just after. I could do nothing but heave out the blood and find the next. Dead blood. I pounced to the next not caring for age or life. I just needed blood. He was drawn to the flesh. Its body still warm, he tore into it growling and pushing against the cow’s body with his paws.

  I pulled back from the neck to see what he was doing, and blood flowed down my face. I could not help but try to bring it back to me, back to my mouth dripping with hunger. Stop! Now is the time. Matt was going to answer my questions and now. I lifted the cow, and feeling very playfully cartoonish, I swung, playing batter up. Knocking him out and back to a form that I knew too well. It was my turn for slice and tell.

  Chapter 30

  Darkened clouds started to blot out the sky. He was still out cold, but I worked quickly. I grabbed some barbwire and remnants of an old fence, and I tied him down to a thick hardy pine. The wire cut into my hands as I twisted it around him tightening it as I went. The cool blackness squished out of my thinly veiled skin. With each movement, the darkness poured out of me. His skin warmed the cuts trying to burn the cold darkness away.

  A low roar of a storm came from the distance. No one would hear him scream. Not with what was descending upon us. I could feel the charge building in the air. I was feeling more alive the more it grew, or maybe it was just me giving into my darkness. The human-ish man that stood before me was nothing. The sight of him pulled into my veins telling me to stop and beg for forgiveness. Rage renewed itself from the peaceful sleep of Matt’s blood.

  I ran my hand over his bare chest, slightly digging in my nails. The skin curled under my nails like a pomegranate. Blood, like its seed, squished out as I dug in deeper releasing hot sweet blood. It ran over my hand stinging the cold. His body was fighting mine at each movement. I wanted to tear deeper into the flesh and see what toys were inside. He would be my very own box of cracker jacks. The toy I wanted was the truth, but who says you can eat your way to the toy?

  He started to stir with each cut of my nails. The smell of his rich hot blood was intoxicating. I was still hungry, and the darkness inside wanted me to lap it up like a kid licking greedily at an ice cream cone. Level head. I have to keep a level head. My hands covered in rich, thick, black blood as it dripped slowly from my hands. As if on cue, the cracking whip of lighting lit up the sky illuminating my face. The darkness showed in my face, and his reaction was to fight to no avail. The barbwire held in place cutting deeper into his hot flesh renewing the air with his succulent taste.

  The sound of the thunder ripped through the silence. It was my turn to find out the truth, and I was going to get it one way or another. I did not have time for illusions or false romance. The cold in me ravaged my soul making me see the truth of Matt. I slammed his head back into the tree. I could not stop repeating it. A smile drew over my face letting my fangs flash. I liked this more than the first time I almost killed him. He moaned out in pain, and that only drew me more into his destruction.

  Stop! I need answers before I kill him. My mouth was already watering with the taste of his blood in the air. I was going to have to snap out of it before he was unable to give me the answers I wanted. I let go of him. His eyes were black, but he did not try to change. He knew he would die if he tried it. He looked at me with fierce eyes with something burning behind them.

  “Why did you try to gut and kill me?” My voice was sickly sweet as I tried to keep from licking the blood splatter from my face. I could feel the urge coming stronger to beat him.

  “I was not trying to kill you or gut you, so to speak.” The crash of lightning lit the area around us.

  “Then explain, and maybe I won’t kill you.” I just wanted a taste. I wanted to quench my thirst as it grew. I shook my head trying to get the thoughts to break. I needed to think clearly. It could not be about the blood… no matter how much I wanted it.

  “You were infected with their blood. I needed to reset you so that you were not under their control. I could smell it on you. Drinking the help will only get you contained. You need my blood as it is clean. Any other blood source but me is tainted. You give them control the more you drink it. Did you not see the change in yourself? You were not dead when you drank me. Now look at yourself so willing and eager to kill.”

  Helping me? Was he kidding? The lightning became more frequent. Lightening flashed, and our faces lit each time. The crashes were bringing me closer to snapping. I felt a new urge. I could no longer resist. I needed the truth and so much more.

  The warmth filled me once again with an unquenchable flame. Warming my body as his grew colder. Blood flows through everything. Every memory is blood soaked and intoxicating. Blood was the key to the truth. His blood could not lie.

  The flesh was soft and smooth. It was like biting into an apple with the rush of juice flooding your mouth, my tongue greedily drinking him in. I was drinking in his memories of what I needed to know. I could feel his hand touch my stomach slowly moving over my shirt. The feeling of the ridged fabric under his heavy hot hands as he pushed it up revealed me. The desire for more had filled him.

  His fingers pressed into my skin feeling for something that lay beneath. His eyes looked me over. A feeling of remorse crept over his body. What was he remorseful for? Matt picked me up by my stomach slamming me into the fence. The bending metal, as his hands clamped it down on me, was cold. The smell was familiar to him. Her eyes came to him—her blue deep calm eyes. He let go of her image as soon as it had come to him. Who was she? I needed to know. Matt was hiding a lot more than he had been sharing.

  I could feel as he scrunched the shirt upward exposing my skin. He turned his attention away looking toward the darkening sky. His teeth clenched down half grinding. One movement of his nail slit me open. Blood flowed from me slow at first, but as the wound was open, it flowed more rapidly. He watched the blood trail down to the waist of my jeans. It slightly pooled as the fabric drank it in. His sense of smell drawing him to me, it was strange to feel so pulled to me.
>
  He put two fingers in at first and then thrust his fingers into my stomach. They were so warm in my skin. Our bodies were so close. The pressure from his intruding hand felt like putting my hand in Jell-O. Darkness covered his hand, and then him. My blood trailed his wrist down his arm. Matt wanted more. My flesh separated as he pushed deeper into me. Almost there. He tried to focus on the end. He wanted to be a greedy dog and lick up the darkness.

  Feeling deeper into my flesh, he reached what he was after. He slit open my stomach letting the blood flow from it. As he withdrew his hand, I wanted the warmth to be thrust back in. Her scent came to him. She smelled of fresh cut pine trees, liquid just-spilled sap with a touch of dirt. She was appealing. Who was she? He pulled away from me with hands covered in my blood. The blood poured to the ground. He greedily licked the blood from his hands. Taking it in as I would imagine the wolf tasting grandma just before he bit in. My smell filled his senses. He sucked his fingers like a kid sucking on olives looking for any loose flesh that was still under them.

  His own urges over coming him, he rushed to me. His hands gripping me tightly as his tongue licked at my waist. Like a dog, his tongue swept slowly up my stomach. The darkness filled him, and he could not pull away. Blackness covered his face. He braced himself against the fence as he tried to pull himself back.

  Breathing in the blood like breathing in fresh-bloomed roses. His hands trembled as he clenched the fence tighter. I could feel his skin ripping and tearing. His muscles stretched and pulled, bones moved every part of him, realigning for a new purpose. He glanced up at the moon for some sort of release. The flames of his blood consuming us as we burned hotter. His hands were gone.