Out of Sight, Out of Heart

by Jill Ferraro

  Her device vibrated on the table next to her. She picked it up and saw another message from Asher.

  Asher: How’s your day going?

  The only man who had come close to getting her mind off Seth was Asher. He was kind and considerate and genuinely seemed to care when he asked how she was doing.

  Brielle: I’m...overwhelmed

  Asher: How can I help?

  Brielle: Hard to say. Have you ever planned a wedding?

  Asher: Can’t say that I have. But I appreciate that you’re doing it. Hopefully for us, not you and some other guy. But either way, as long as you’re happy I’m happy

  Brielle smiled. She may not be in love with Asher but he seemed to be the perfect guy for her. After dealing with Jason and Damien for 24 hours, she was beginning to wonder if the decks were stacked against her and this was all a cruel joke.

  Brielle: That’s really sweet. Thank you

  Brielle: I know we’ve only “known” each other for 24 hours but I think I really like you

  She sent the message and got instantly nervous. All of these guys were there for her. To marry her. She didn’t know why being so vulnerable made her nervous but it did. She was never this forward with other men she dated.

  Asher: That makes me very happy because I KNOW I really like you

  Brielle’s stomach filled with butterflies. Her device kept vibrating but she ignored the messages from the other guys. She knew she’d have to talk to them eventually but right now she wanted to focus on her feelings for Asher.

  She got up from the table and moved Asher’s rating from a four out of five to a five out of five. As if right on cue, there was a knock at the door. She swung it open and her lunch was standing on a TV tray in the empty hallway. She was glad Abigail got the message that she did not want her to hand-deliver her food anymore.

  Brielle got down some plates and moved the chicken salad sandwich and side salad out of the styrofoam container. Then she turned on some romantic music and enjoyed her lunch, trying to visualize what marrying Asher could look like.

  It was a difficult task. Brielle didn’t want to get an image of what Asher looked like in her head and then be disappointed when she met him in person. Instead, she settled on an image of a man in a navy blue suit and maroon tie. She tried not to focus on his face, although she did hope for a well-maintained beard.

  As she chewed her sandwich, she tried to envision their wedding together. She hoped it would be full of dancing, laughter, and a lot of physical attraction. She wanted sparks to be flying, for their first kiss to be completely magical. By the time she was done with her lunch, she was in a much better place to continue wedding planning.

  Despite her daydreaming about Asher, Seth was still making his way back into her mind but now her rational brain was able to take over. She decided to pinch her thigh whenever thoughts of him took over to help keep her focused on the future. Just because her heart was still healing didn’t mean she couldn’t love someone new.

  Stacey knocked on the door as Brielle was putting her dishes back into the sink. Brielle opened the door and welcomed her back in, this time with Laura and James.

  “You seem to be in a better mood,” Stacey said as she sat down. Laura and James found a spot to set up their cameras.

  “I told you I would be!” Brielle winked.

  “Well, let’s get started then. Where do you want to begin?”

  “I was thinking with the suits. Maybe navy blue? With maroon ties?”

  “Do you want bow ties, skinny ties...”

  By the time Stacey left that afternoon, they had finished more than twenty percent of the planning. Brielle gave Stacey a hug goodbye, poured herself a glass of wine, and began to flip through the stack of magazines she had piled onto the coffee table because Stacey gave her homework.

  It was almost time for Brielle to find her wedding dress.

  Chapter Four

  Carl

  Carl: hey babe

  Carl: hows ur day goin ??

  Brielle: It’s fine. You?

  ◆◆◆

  Carl was struggling to keep Brielle’s interest. He knew they had a spark but was finding it impossible to keep her coming back for more. He didn’t want to nag or annoy her, he was sure he was getting enough of that from Damien and didn’t want to further piss her off, but he wanted to stay on her radar. He was just struggling to figure out how.

  When he arrived the previous day, Carl was at least somewhat excited to be there. Winning the show would be great but the tradeoff of sitting around with all these guys was starting to wear on him. Living in this apartment for another week no longer outweighed the benefit of getting married at the end of it.

  It didn’t help that Damien spent his entire day moping around, complaining about how Brielle wouldn’t talk to him. The other guys mostly kept to themselves but not Damien. His behavior the previous day clearly stemmed from a need for attention. The only guy stupid enough to indulge him was Jason. Now that he was gone, Damien was getting on everyone’s nerves.

  Carl wished he could put Damien in his place but Mark made it clear the day before that there wouldn’t be any physical fights. Instead, he decided to pass the time by slowly setting him off throughout the day. It kept him entertained and was a distraction from the lack of response he was getting from Brielle.

  He wasn’t sure how the rest of the guys were doing. After associating himself with Jason and Damien the day before, no one seemed to want to talk to him. It didn’t help that he was the last one to commit to not lying to everyone the day before. People were distrustful of him, as they should be, but it did make things pretty boring.

  On the bright side, keeping his distance made it easier for Carl to fly under the radar. He didn’t need anyone prying into his business. Luckily, he spent his entire life being an unapproachable tough guy. He didn’t have to change his personality to keep the other guys in the apartment at bay. That was just who he was. And it was working.

  Carl grabbed some chips from the cupboard and sat down to watch Brandon and Matthew play video games. They didn’t say hello and Carl didn’t care. He just needed to get his mind off of Brielle for a few minutes.

  It was becoming clearer to Carl with each passing hour that, although his personality kept him from getting too close to anyone in the apartment, it also kept him from getting too close to Brielle. Her lack of enthusiasm with their messages made that abundantly clear.

  He had a choice to make. He could change the way he interacted with Brielle to be more charming and seem like he cared more. Or he could change nothing and potentially get sent home the next day. Neither option jumped out to him as a clear winner.

  Back at home, his friends and family thought he was on vacation. It would be pathetic to make up a lie about it and then have to explain to them how he got sent home on the third or fourth day of filming when Sight Unseen eventually premiered. Carl wanted to make it all the way.

  The bag of chips was empty and he got up to toss them in the trash. If he stayed and changed his interactions with Brielle, really worked hard to be the man she was looking for, he would definitely make it further in the week. Hell, he might even win the show and get to marry her.

  Getting married was the better option. He’d come this far, going home just wasn’t a good alternative. Carl pulled out his device and tried to craft the perfect message for getting back into Brielle’s good graces.

  Carl: Can I tell u something?

  He waited five minutes with no response. Rather than wait by his device for some girl to message him back, he decided to hop in the shower. He had one new notification when he returned.

  Brielle: Sure

  If she wasn’t at least a little interested in him, she probably wouldn’t have responded at all. He decided to make her wait a few minutes before responding. The other guys in the apartment responded right away, he wanted to play hard to get to keep her interested..

  Carl got dressed before responding. He hated when his friends
let their girlfriends have all the power in the relationship. He was the boss, she should know that right off the bat.

  Carl: Ive been putting on a show for u. With all the “babe” hotshot stuff

  Brielle: You have?

  Carl: Yeah...its stupid but i thought maybe ud be into it

  Brielle: Oh

  Carl: I take it ur not? Into it?

  Brielle: Not really

  Carl: Good. From now on, Ill b myself

  Carl: Cool?

  Brielle: Very cool

  Carl was satisfied, this was a good start. He thought about keeping the conversation going a bit but he needed to figure out what his new personality was going to be like. He needed to become her perfect man.

  Carl knew she wanted someone sensitive and kind. Brielle wanted a good provider who valued her above his friends and work. And he was sure she wanted a guy who would never cheat on her. Carl could be that. He could pretend to be whatever she wanted him to be.

  An hour passed before Carl responded to Brielle’s last message. He had fully fleshed out the character he needed to play to win her affections. The guy was his complete opposite but she seemed to be into it. He was competitive, whatever it took to win was what he was going to do.

  His device vibrated again. Brielle had taken the bait and was clearly interested in him. He had one more shot at reeling her in.

  Brielle: So why did you think I wanted you to pretend to be someone you’re not?

  Carl: I went thru ur profile and u just seem so perfect for me

  Carl: But u also seemed like u wanted a tough guy

  Brielle: You can be tough without being a tool

  Carl: Hahaha

  Carl: I guess ur right

  Brielle: So, Not Tool Carl, tell me about yourself. Your REAL self.

  Carl went on to tell her everything she wanted to hear. And it must have worked because the last message he received before getting called back to the living room was exactly what he wanted.

  Brielle: I like this Carl a LOT better :)

  Brielle: Maybe even enough to marry him

  Chapter Five

  Brielle

  Asher: How’s the planning going?

  Brielle: Don’t ask

  Asher: That bad?

  ◆◆◆

  Brielle leaned over the back of the couch and looked at the giant pile of magazines she’d thumbed through that afternoon. She had torn pages out of some while others were thrown to the side, holding nothing worth revisiting within the pages. She was no closer now to finding her wedding dress than she was a few hours earlier when Stacey left the apartment.

  Before filming started, Brielle had pictured herself in a mermaid style gown with a beaded bodice. Flashy and classy, like she was. But now that she was going to see her husband for the first time in the dress, she didn’t want to overdo it. She didn’t want him to be so distracted by her dress that he didn’t see her. It was a silly worry but once she got the idea in her head she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  Now every dress she saw was either too plain or too flashy, too big or too skimpy. Ballgowns were too regal, lace was too overpowering, trumpet was too loud. She was in dress limbo and wished Stacey was sitting across from her to steer her straight.

  Brielle got up and walked to the landline. She took a deep breath and called down to the producers.

  “Brielle? Have you made a decision?” Mark sounded anxious.

  “I need to talk to Stacey. It’s about the dresses.”

  “We need you to make a decision so we can shoot the elimination video.”

  “And I need to talk to Stacey to talk about my wedding dress.”

  Mark was silent for a moment. “Fine. 10 minutes. Stay on the line.”

  Brielle smiled to herself as she waited for Stacey to be patched through. There was a click and Stacey’s voice filled the receiver.

  “Stacey! Thank god!”

  “What’s up Brielle? Mark didn’t sound happy.”

  “Mark hates me. The feeling is mutual.” Brielle chuckled to herself. “Stacey, I literally have no idea what to do about this dress situation.”

  “What, exactly, is the problem?”

  “Nothing seems right. I always thought I wanted a mermaid style, something loud and flashy. But I don’t want to see my husband for the first time in something like that.”

  “Mhmm…”

  “Anyways, is there any way we can try on a bunch of different styles tomorrow? So I can find the perfect dress?”

  Stacey sighed loudly. “Brielle, you’re killing me.”

  “But…?”

  “But I will see what I can do.”

  Brielle shrieked. “Oh thank you, Stacey!”

  “I will try to stop by again later. And you better not give me a hard time about trying on too many dresses tomorrow.”

  “I won’t! I definitely won’t!”

  The line went dead as Stacey hung up the phone without saying goodbye. Brielle didn’t care, she was glad she would be able to try on as many dresses as she’d like until she found the perfect one.

  She put down the phone and started to walk back to the couch when the landline rang again. She picked it up.

  “Hello?”

  “Your 10 minutes is up. Who did you choose?”

  Brielle sighed. “Damien. Obviously.”

  “Great.” Mark paused. “Will you be going on a date with him?”

  “Hmm...I don’t know Mark. I hadn’t thought about it yet. You’ll have to give me some more time to consider-”

  “This isn’t a game, Brielle.” Mark was angry.

  “You’re right, Mark. It’s not a game. It’s my life. I’ll be in touch soon.”

  Brielle hung up the phone and stuck her tongue out at the camera in the corner of the living room. She hoped he was watching.

  Obviously, she wasn’t going on a date with Damien. She’d peeked into the muted messages and he hadn’t stopped messaging her all day. There was no way she was sitting through a date with him.

  She walked down the hallway to get ready for her elimination video. She took the red dress from the day before off the camera and pulled it on, smoothing out any wrinkles from being left in a pile on the floor. As she got ready, her mind drifted away from wedding dress panic and back to the remaining guys.

  Brielle was glad Carl came clean about not being genuine at first. His initial personality really turned her off. Girls on TV and in movies like a bad boy who liked to play games but that’s not what she wanted. She wanted a guy who could take care of her without worrying about how it would make him look to her friends.

  The other guys, besides Damien of course, seemed to have the potential to be good partners for Brielle. But they weren’t connecting with her like Asher and Carl were. Brielle marveled at how interesting it was that she had such strong chemistry with these two men and not with the others. The questions they asked weren’t much different, the conversations started the same.

  Yet even through her device, Carl and Asher could make such different impressions than the rest of the guys. The difference between Asher and Peter was startling. Brielle was really into Asher and wanted to talk to him all day if she could. Peter seemed to be really similar to Asher on the surface but their conversations just fell flat.

  There was a knock on the door. Laura came to retrieve Brielle from the apartment. It was a relief to open the door and not see Abigail, even though she was just as upset with Laura for lying to her the day before.

  They sat Brielle in the same area of the room to record Damien’s elimination video. Brielle hadn’t planned out what she was going to say and was frantically trying to come up with something that wouldn’t completely humiliate Damien. Mark was glaring at her from the other side of the room, which didn’t help with her concentration.

  James gave her a countdown and she took a deep breath. Technically, she could have as many takes as she wanted but the sooner she could get out of the studio the better. Brielle put on her fakest sm
ile and told the world Damien was leaving the show that night.

  As she walked out of the makeshift recording studio, Mark called to her from across the room.

  “Is he going on a date?”

  “Still thinking!” She yelled back as she slammed the doors.

  Mark tried to run after her but the doors to the elevator were already closing by the time he made it into the hallway. She safely bolted the door to the apartment and called down to the producers’ apartment.

  “Brielle?” Abigail answered.

  “No date for Damien. Tell Mark to calm down.” She hung up the phone, poured herself a glass of wine, changed back into her comfy clothes, and poured back over the wedding magazines in hopes that her dream dress would jump off the page.

  Chapter Six

  Damien

  Damien: If you want me to stop messaging you just tell me

  Damien: Dont just ignore me

  ◆◆◆

  Damien laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He knew he was going home today and he was so embarrassed. He couldn’t stand going back out into the living room, let alone back home. He talked a big game before he left and told everyone he knew he was going to get married on TV. Leaving now meant he’d have to face everyone. Everyone would know he failed.

  He was trying to be tough the day before when he got into a fight with Jason. He thought Brielle would like a tough guy. Girls who look like that always want tough guys. He knew that if they met outside of the show, she would have fallen for him in a second. She was probably just putting on an act so people thought she was more sophisticated than she really was. Everyone acts for the cameras, right?